Crownprinceknut - Knut

“My boy Spatula bunking down for a snowy night” 

(Source)

If a history-based work is good and inaccurate it’s because it’s a piece of art that sacrificed some points of accuracy for the sake of storytelling and conveying themes deeper and more important than a straightforward recounting of facts. If it’s bad and inaccurate then that’s just another reason why it sucks

more public art! these fellas were printed on vinyl for the sides of a traffic cabinet

The gender euphoria of having just a bit of rough stubble on your chin. Short and blunt - a clean look overall, but with a subtle touch of disheveled masculinity poking through. That's what it's all about. :-]

unfortunately i do believe posthaste is one of the funniest words out there. how quick am i doing something? fast as fuck my good sir

You can tell when someone’s frame of reference for “normal people” is more “people at the church sponsored ice cream social” and less “people on the bus”

Weird things I have done as an archaeologist

Washing cannonballs

Comparing human leg bones to my leg

Balancing knee caps to see if they’re left or right

Smashed my head on a drill handle while I tried to look cool dropping 3 meters of stainless steel down a hole

Trying to rescue mice out of the trench using a shovel and screaming how you’re trying to help

Glass still cuts skin, even after 500 years. And me being the dumbass I am to swipe my finger across to clean it

Getting distracted because you’re convinced these two pottery shards match in some place

Pushing my thumb into the decorative indentation a potter has made 300 years ago cuz I’m still a child

Trying to match shoe prints to one of your colleagues

Surely google knows the brand name on this 100 year old shoe shine can

god i love how pitbulls are like

what the "go outside and touch grass" sayers dont know that if you go outside and touch grass for long enough you cross an event horizon in which you become significantly weirder and more fucked up than any chronically online asshole can be. and they like those people even less.

An Incomplete List of the Animals my Grandpa brought home over the course of his 67-year marriage to Gandma:

Annabell, a solid white and completely deaf pit bull that used to let mom draw on her belly

The World’s Ugliest Tom Cat, who turned out to be the cuddiest teddy bear of an animal

Cocker spaniel named “Captain”

Stupid, the Cat

Litter of baby raccoons

Three more cats

A completely bald and extremely anxious canary that sang beautifully, but only at 4 AM

Baby Squirrel that grew up in the house and then refused to move out

A Genuine Thoroughbred Racehorse who was a spectacular athelete but had a habit of running races in the wrong direction.  Benny turned out to be a terrific trail horse instead.

Turtle

Snapping Turtle

A bucket full of 43 goldfish left over from the fair.  Mom counted once they were all in the bathtub in the backyard with the snapping turtle.

Another cocker spaniel named “Major”, who had the tremendous talent of eating green beans silently

Red-tailed hawk he found on the highway, and sucessfully nursed back to health and released.

Dummy, Son of Stupid

Strange, the dog that lived under the porch and only came into the house at night.

An “abandoned” baby deer.

Spooky, an alleged dog.  

Joey the parakeet whose tricks were  1. drinking tea out of a tiny cup 2. threatening to peck out people’s eyes 3. wearing hats

A Really Big Toad he found behind the factory, because the other auto workers were discussing using it for target practice.  Mr. Grumpity was guardian of the rosebed for several years and granny’s (his mother) favorite animal he ever brought home.

Gretchen, a St. Bernard that had to be shaved from her prior owner’s neglect, and spent a week hiding from sight with such success in the house that they thought she’d run away.

Arson, Burglary and Murder, three frankly adorable little kittens.  They did not change the names, much to the regret of the cop who lived three doors down.

Yet another Cocker Spaniel, named “Colonel”

Cardinal (bird)

Canada Goose (Demon)

Once in the nursing home, he had a “pet” 12-point whitetail buck that would come to his window to be fed corn and get headskritches, inexplicably named “Florence”

The marriage only ended because thier time on earth did. He never kept an animal Grandma wouldn’t allow and if anything she was worse about it. She was the one who brought home a tarantula.