Real Observations Since I Started Wearing A Wizard Hat Daily:

do you have any spiritual thoughts on blood? pomegranates, periods, prophecy-- does what comes out of me monthly and hurts me so horribly mean anything at all besides that familiar pain no one will help me with?

the priests feared it for a reason

asking someone their big three and meaning their favorite prophet, apostle, and member of freud's vienna society

Yo, correct me if I am wrong please, but didn't Hitler rise to power because he promised to fix the German economy and people really liked that so they looked past everything else he was doing??? Like exactly what's happening in America right now???

So many people said they voted for Trump, put a truly evil person in power, because he said he'd fix the economy, and a little voice in my head is going, "Isn't that what happened with fucking Hitler??"

But I've seen no one point that out so maybe I'm miss remembering???????

polaris; guiding light for lost horses

me holding a gun to a mushroom: tell me the name of god you fungal piece of shit

mushroom: can you feel your heart burning? can you feel the struggle within? the fear within me is beyond anything your soul can make. you cannot kill me in a way that matters

me cocking the gun, tears streaming down my face: I’M NOT FUCKING SCARED OF YOU

“To think of the Midwest as a whole as anything other than beautiful is to ignore the extraordinary power of the land. The lushness of the grass and trees in August, the roll of the hills (far less of the Midwest is flat than outsiders seem to imagine), the rich smell of soil, the evening sunlight over a field of wheat, or the crickets chirping at dusk on a residential street: All of it, it has always made me feel at peace. There is room to breathe, there is a realness of place. The seasons are extreme, but they pass and return, pass and return, and the world seems far steadier than it does from the vantage point of a coastal city. Certainly picturesque towns can be found in New England or California or the Pacific Northwest, but I can't shake the sense that they're too picturesque. On the East Coast, especially, these places seem to me aggressively quaint, unbecomingly smug, and even xenophobic, downright paranoid in their wariness of those who might somehow infringe upon the local charm. I suspect this wariness is tied to the high cost of real estate, the fear that there might not be enough space or money and what there is of both must be clung to and defended. The West Coast, I think, has a similar self-regard...and a beauty that I can't help seeing as show-offy. But the Midwest: It is quietly lovely, not preening with the need to have its attributes remarked on. It is the place I am calmest and most myself.”

Curtis Sittenfeld, American Wife

***

Finally, someone gets it.

Altogether, I really like the way americans say "can I help you?" as a polite general one-size-fits-all stand-in for "who the fuck are you/what the fuck are you doing here/how the fuck did you get in here/what the fuck are you staring at/what is your fucking problem." Such a polite way of going "bitch what the fuck."

List of 120 unique fantasy jobs to give to your fantasy characters. Writers save this!

1. Spellscribe: Weaves magic into ink, creating enchanted scrolls and spellbooks.

2. Dreamweaver: Shapes dreams, ensuring a peaceful slumber for all.

3. Star Cartographer: Maps constellations and celestial paths.

4. Potion Alchemist: Brews elixirs, love potions, and invisibility brews.

5. Whispering Wind Courier: Carries messages on ethereal zephyrs.

6. Crystal Harmonist: Plays melodies on gemstone xylophones.

7. Arcane Librarian: Guards forbidden tomes and ancient grimoires.

8. Stormcaller: Commands lightning and tempests.

9. Shadow Weaver: Manipulates shadows for stealth or illusion.

10. Fey Ambassador: Bridges the gap between humans and fae.

11. Time Tinkerer: Repairs temporal rifts and broken clocks.

12. Soul Gardener: Tends to souls in the afterlife.

13. Dragon Whisperer: Communicates with fire-breathing beasts.

14. Labyrinth Architect: Designs mazes with shifting walls.

15. Aetheronaut: Pilots airships through the skies.

16. Cauldron Chef: Cooks magical stews and enchanted pastries.

17. Goblin Negotiator: Haggles with mischievous goblins over stolen treasures.

18. Wisp Shepherd: Herds glowing wisps across moonlit meadows.

19. Constellation Painter: Dips brushes in stardust to create cosmic art.

20. Swordsmith of Destiny: Forges blades with prophetic properties.

21. Oracle of Riddles: Answers questions through cryptic puzzles.

22. Moss Whisperer: Encourages moss-covered stones to share their secrets.

23. Harvest Moon Dancer: Leads celestial dances during lunar eclipses.

24. Chimera Veterinarian: Cares for mythical hybrid creatures.

25. Lore Bard: Sings epic sagas of forgotten heroes.

26. Stardust Prospector: Mines cosmic minerals from fallen meteors.

27. Mistwalker: Guides lost souls through foggy moors.

28. Enchanted Cobbler: Crafts shoes that grant extraordinary abilities.

29. Celestial Clockmaker: Constructs timepieces powered by starlight.

30. Gargoyle Sculptor: Carves stone guardians with hidden sentience.

31. Wandmaker: Whittles wands from ancient tree branches.

32. Mermaid Translator: Deciphers underwater songs and sea whispers.

33. Nightshade Apothecary: Harvests moonflowers and midnight herbs.

34. Serpent Charmer: Mesmerizes serpents with haunting melodies.

35. Skyship Navigator: Charts courses through floating islands.

36. Frostfire Sculptor: Shapes ice and flame into ephemeral statues.

37. Cursed Cursebreaker: Lifts hexes and breaks enchantments.

38. Goblin Archaeologist: Digs up lost goblin civilizations.

39. Sylph Perfumer: Captures the essence of zephyrs in fragrances.

40. Mystic Cartographer: Maps hidden ley lines and magical nexuses.

41. Moonstone Miner: Extracts shards of moonlight from caverns.

42. Gryphon Trainer: Raises and trains majestic gryphons.

43. Candlemaker of Lost Hopes: Creates candles that reveal forgotten memories.

44. Starwhisper Cartographer: Maps cosmic phenomena—comets' paths, shooting star trails, and celestial alignments.

45. Gloomsmith: Crafts melancholic artifacts—music boxes that play haunting melodies, mirrors that reflect lost loves, and inkwells that pen tear-stained poetry.

46. Siren Songstress: Sings enchanting melodies by moonlit shores, luring sailors toward rocky fates or guiding them safely through treacherous waters.

47. Astral Weaver: Spins threads from stardust, creating cloaks that grant glimpses of alternate realities or tapestries that depict forgotten legends.

48. Cryptobotanist: Studies otherworldly flora—glow-in-the-dark mushrooms, singing vines, and moonblossoms that bloom only during eclipses.

49. Soothsayer: Reads the future in tea leaves, cloud formations, or the patterns of fireflies. Their predictions shape destinies.

50. Stormglass Sculptor: Carves intricate sculptures from stormglass—frozen lightning, raindrop chandeliers, and thunderstorm dioramas.

51. Wispkeeper: Tends to wisps—tiny, glowing spirits that flit through forests. They bottle wisp-light for healing potions.

52. Eidolon Portraitist: Paints portraits of ghosts, capturing their essence before they fade into oblivion.

53. Moss Oracle: Listens to moss-covered stones, deciphering their murmurs to reveal lost histories.

54. Labyrinth Minstrel: Wanders through shifting mazes, singing songs that guide lost travelers to safety.

55. Frostbite Healer: Extracts shards of moonlight from caverns.

56. Gryphon Trainer: Raises and trains majestic gryphons.

57. Candlemaker of Lost Hopes: Creates candles that reveal forgotten memories.

58. Starwhisper Cartographer: Maps cosmic phenomena—comets’ paths, shooting star trails, and celestial alignments. Their charts guide explorers to hidden constellations.

59. Gloomsmith: Crafts melancholic artifacts—music boxes that play haunting melodies, mirrors that reflect lost loves, and inkwells that pen tear-stained poetry.

60. Siren Songstress: Sings enchanting melodies by moonlit shores, luring sailors toward rocky fates or guiding them safely through treacherous waters.

61. Astral Weaver: Spins threads from stardust, creating cloaks that grant glimpses of alternate realities or tapestries that depict forgotten legends.

62. Cryptobotanist: Studies otherworldly flora—glow-in-the-dark mushrooms, singing vines, and moonblossoms that bloom only during eclipses.

63. Soothsayer: Reads the future in tea leaves, cloud formations, or the patterns of fireflies. Their predictions shape destinies.

64. Stormglass Sculptor: Carves intricate sculptures from stormglass—frozen lightning, raindrop chandeliers, and thunderstorm dioramas.

65. Wispkeeper: Tends to wisps—tiny, glowing spirits that flit through forests. They bottle wisp-light for healing potions.

66. Eidolon Portraitist: Paints portraits of ghosts, capturing their essence before they fade into oblivion.

67. Moss Oracle: Listens to moss-covered stones, deciphering their murmurs to reveal lost histories.

68. Labyrinth Minstrel: Wanders through shifting mazes, singing songs that guide lost travelers to safety.

69. Frostbite Healer: Treats frostbitten extremities with salves made from frost sprites’ tears.

70. Chalice Enchanter: Carves runes into crystal goblets, infusing each sip with memories or emotions.

71. Goblin Archaeologist: Digs up lost goblin civilizations, unearthing rusty gadgets and cryptic hieroglyphs.

72. Sylph Perfumer: Captures the essence of zephyrs in fragrances—dawn mist, thunderstorm ozone, and moonrise musk.

73. Mystic Cartographer: Maps hidden ley lines and magical nexuses. Their charts reveal portals and ley-gates.

74. Moonstone Miner: Extracts shards of moonlight from caverns, which can be used for enchantments or as lantern fuel.

75. Gryphon Trainer: Raises and trains majestic gryphons for aerial patrols or epic quests.

76. Candlemaker of Whispers: Crafts candles that flicker with spectral flames, allowing communication with the departed.

77. Stardust Prospector: Mines cosmic minerals from fallen meteors—star iron, comet opals, and nebula gems.

78. Golem Animator: Breathes life into clay and stone constructs, imbuing them with purpose.

79. Wraith Whisperer: Communicates with restless spirits, negotiating unfinished business.

80. Celestial Navigator: Guides ships by star charts, steering vessels through astral currents.

81. Chaos Theorist: Predicts chaotic events using butterfly-wing equations, preventing or exploiting chaos.

82. Fairy Ring Dancer: Enters mystical circles to converse with fairies, striking bargains or seeking wisdom.

83. Banshee Lullaby Singer: Soothes grieving souls with haunting songs, easing their passage to the beyond.

84. Goblin Diplomat: Negotiates peace treaties between realms, balancing goblin mischief and human interests.

85. Veilwalker: Steps between dimensions using shimmering veils, exploring parallel worlds.

86. Moonshard Weaver: Threads moonstone shards into cloaks that grant moonwalking abilities.

87. Gryphon Whisperer: Communicates with gryphons through empathic bonds.

88. Cursed Curator: Collects cursed artifacts, safeguarding them in hidden vaults.

89. Sphinx Riddler: Poses enigmas to travelers seeking wisdom, granting answers in exchange for riddles.

90. Bard of Echoes: Sings songs that echo through time, preserving forgotten tales.

91. Goblin Inventor: Constructs whimsical gadgets—umbrellas that predict rain, shoes that dance, and hats that translate squirrel chatter.

92. Serpent Astronomer: Studies cosmic serpents—constellations that writhe across the sky.

93. Wisp Choreographer: Stages ethereal dances in moonlit glades, captivating forest creatures.

94. Lorekeeper of Lost Languages: Deciphers ancient scripts, unlocking forbidden knowledge.

95. Mistral Cartographer: Maps winds—trade winds, storm fronts, and zephyr currents.

96. Harbinger of Eclipses: Predicts solar and lunar eclipses, foretelling cosmic shifts.

97. Grimoire Illuminator: Adds luminescent runes to spellbooks, making incantations glow.

98. Nymph Whisperer: Listens to water nymphs’ laughter, translating it into healing melodies.

99. Celestial Harvester: Gathers stardust for celestial events—meteor showers, comet arrivals.

100. Goblin Mechanomancer: Constructs clockwork creatures—mechanical squirrels, steam-powered beetles.

101. Sylph Skyweaver: Spins cloud silk into airy garments that grant flight.

102. Oracle of Shifting Sands: Reads desert dunes, predicting sandstorms and mirages.

103. Moonmoth Keeper: Tends to moonmoths—luminous insects that guide lost travelers.

104. Gryphon Herald: Announces royal decrees from the backs of majestic gryphons.

105. Cauldron Seer: Gazes into bubbling cauldrons, glimpsing past, present, and future.

106. Whisperwood Arborist: Nurtures ancient trees that whisper forgotten secrets.

107. Stardust Cartographer: Maps cosmic phenomena—supernovae, black holes, and quasars.

108. Goblin Clockmaker: Constructs timepieces with peculiar quirks—watches that run backward, hourglasses that pause.

109. Sphinx Scholar: Studies riddles, deciphering their hidden meanings.

110. Wisp Guardian: Protects sacred wisps from curious wanderers.

111.Labyrinth Keeper: Guards labyrinth entrances, ensuring only worthy seekers enter.

112. Frostfire Forger: Crafts weapons that blaze with icy flames.

113. Goblin Meteorologist: Predicts weather using enchanted barometers and cloud crystals.

114. Sylph Windwhisperer: Converses with gusts, learning their secrets.

115. Dreamcatcher Artisan: Weaves dreamcatchers that trap nightmares and release sweet dreams.

116. Celestial Herald: Announces cosmic events—comets, eclipses, and planetary alignments.

117. Grimoire Binder: Assembles spellbooks, binding them with dragonhide and phoenix feathers.

118. Nymph Songkeeper: Records water nymphs’ melodies, preserving them in enchanted shells.

119. Goblin Tinkerer: Repairs broken gadgets—flying broomsticks, talking teapots.

120. Starforged Smith: Hammers star fragments into celestial armor and swords.

🎉 WOOHOO, YOU MADE IT TO THE END! 🎉

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"Am I my brother's keeper?" Is probably one of my favorite lines in all literature and in all history of humanity because that's literally what it all boils down to. And in a sense, whole bible is an answer to that one question. And if we look at it more broadly, answer to this question is also the answer to life. We are our brothers' keepers, we are here to take care of each other. All of us. "In this terrifying world, all we have are the connections we make."