Crownprinceknut - Knut

for my fellow southern/midwestern USAmericans: ain't it

the japanese “-ne?” particle and the british slang term “innit” serve the same function

List of 120 unique fantasy jobs to give to your fantasy characters. Writers save this!

1. Spellscribe: Weaves magic into ink, creating enchanted scrolls and spellbooks.

2. Dreamweaver: Shapes dreams, ensuring a peaceful slumber for all.

3. Star Cartographer: Maps constellations and celestial paths.

4. Potion Alchemist: Brews elixirs, love potions, and invisibility brews.

5. Whispering Wind Courier: Carries messages on ethereal zephyrs.

6. Crystal Harmonist: Plays melodies on gemstone xylophones.

7. Arcane Librarian: Guards forbidden tomes and ancient grimoires.

8. Stormcaller: Commands lightning and tempests.

9. Shadow Weaver: Manipulates shadows for stealth or illusion.

10. Fey Ambassador: Bridges the gap between humans and fae.

11. Time Tinkerer: Repairs temporal rifts and broken clocks.

12. Soul Gardener: Tends to souls in the afterlife.

13. Dragon Whisperer: Communicates with fire-breathing beasts.

14. Labyrinth Architect: Designs mazes with shifting walls.

15. Aetheronaut: Pilots airships through the skies.

16. Cauldron Chef: Cooks magical stews and enchanted pastries.

17. Goblin Negotiator: Haggles with mischievous goblins over stolen treasures.

18. Wisp Shepherd: Herds glowing wisps across moonlit meadows.

19. Constellation Painter: Dips brushes in stardust to create cosmic art.

20. Swordsmith of Destiny: Forges blades with prophetic properties.

21. Oracle of Riddles: Answers questions through cryptic puzzles.

22. Moss Whisperer: Encourages moss-covered stones to share their secrets.

23. Harvest Moon Dancer: Leads celestial dances during lunar eclipses.

24. Chimera Veterinarian: Cares for mythical hybrid creatures.

25. Lore Bard: Sings epic sagas of forgotten heroes.

26. Stardust Prospector: Mines cosmic minerals from fallen meteors.

27. Mistwalker: Guides lost souls through foggy moors.

28. Enchanted Cobbler: Crafts shoes that grant extraordinary abilities.

29. Celestial Clockmaker: Constructs timepieces powered by starlight.

30. Gargoyle Sculptor: Carves stone guardians with hidden sentience.

31. Wandmaker: Whittles wands from ancient tree branches.

32. Mermaid Translator: Deciphers underwater songs and sea whispers.

33. Nightshade Apothecary: Harvests moonflowers and midnight herbs.

34. Serpent Charmer: Mesmerizes serpents with haunting melodies.

35. Skyship Navigator: Charts courses through floating islands.

36. Frostfire Sculptor: Shapes ice and flame into ephemeral statues.

37. Cursed Cursebreaker: Lifts hexes and breaks enchantments.

38. Goblin Archaeologist: Digs up lost goblin civilizations.

39. Sylph Perfumer: Captures the essence of zephyrs in fragrances.

40. Mystic Cartographer: Maps hidden ley lines and magical nexuses.

41. Moonstone Miner: Extracts shards of moonlight from caverns.

42. Gryphon Trainer: Raises and trains majestic gryphons.

43. Candlemaker of Lost Hopes: Creates candles that reveal forgotten memories.

44. Starwhisper Cartographer: Maps cosmic phenomena—comets' paths, shooting star trails, and celestial alignments.

45. Gloomsmith: Crafts melancholic artifacts—music boxes that play haunting melodies, mirrors that reflect lost loves, and inkwells that pen tear-stained poetry.

46. Siren Songstress: Sings enchanting melodies by moonlit shores, luring sailors toward rocky fates or guiding them safely through treacherous waters.

47. Astral Weaver: Spins threads from stardust, creating cloaks that grant glimpses of alternate realities or tapestries that depict forgotten legends.

48. Cryptobotanist: Studies otherworldly flora—glow-in-the-dark mushrooms, singing vines, and moonblossoms that bloom only during eclipses.

49. Soothsayer: Reads the future in tea leaves, cloud formations, or the patterns of fireflies. Their predictions shape destinies.

50. Stormglass Sculptor: Carves intricate sculptures from stormglass—frozen lightning, raindrop chandeliers, and thunderstorm dioramas.

51. Wispkeeper: Tends to wisps—tiny, glowing spirits that flit through forests. They bottle wisp-light for healing potions.

52. Eidolon Portraitist: Paints portraits of ghosts, capturing their essence before they fade into oblivion.

53. Moss Oracle: Listens to moss-covered stones, deciphering their murmurs to reveal lost histories.

54. Labyrinth Minstrel: Wanders through shifting mazes, singing songs that guide lost travelers to safety.

55. Frostbite Healer: Extracts shards of moonlight from caverns.

56. Gryphon Trainer: Raises and trains majestic gryphons.

57. Candlemaker of Lost Hopes: Creates candles that reveal forgotten memories.

58. Starwhisper Cartographer: Maps cosmic phenomena—comets’ paths, shooting star trails, and celestial alignments. Their charts guide explorers to hidden constellations.

59. Gloomsmith: Crafts melancholic artifacts—music boxes that play haunting melodies, mirrors that reflect lost loves, and inkwells that pen tear-stained poetry.

60. Siren Songstress: Sings enchanting melodies by moonlit shores, luring sailors toward rocky fates or guiding them safely through treacherous waters.

61. Astral Weaver: Spins threads from stardust, creating cloaks that grant glimpses of alternate realities or tapestries that depict forgotten legends.

62. Cryptobotanist: Studies otherworldly flora—glow-in-the-dark mushrooms, singing vines, and moonblossoms that bloom only during eclipses.

63. Soothsayer: Reads the future in tea leaves, cloud formations, or the patterns of fireflies. Their predictions shape destinies.

64. Stormglass Sculptor: Carves intricate sculptures from stormglass—frozen lightning, raindrop chandeliers, and thunderstorm dioramas.

65. Wispkeeper: Tends to wisps—tiny, glowing spirits that flit through forests. They bottle wisp-light for healing potions.

66. Eidolon Portraitist: Paints portraits of ghosts, capturing their essence before they fade into oblivion.

67. Moss Oracle: Listens to moss-covered stones, deciphering their murmurs to reveal lost histories.

68. Labyrinth Minstrel: Wanders through shifting mazes, singing songs that guide lost travelers to safety.

69. Frostbite Healer: Treats frostbitten extremities with salves made from frost sprites’ tears.

70. Chalice Enchanter: Carves runes into crystal goblets, infusing each sip with memories or emotions.

71. Goblin Archaeologist: Digs up lost goblin civilizations, unearthing rusty gadgets and cryptic hieroglyphs.

72. Sylph Perfumer: Captures the essence of zephyrs in fragrances—dawn mist, thunderstorm ozone, and moonrise musk.

73. Mystic Cartographer: Maps hidden ley lines and magical nexuses. Their charts reveal portals and ley-gates.

74. Moonstone Miner: Extracts shards of moonlight from caverns, which can be used for enchantments or as lantern fuel.

75. Gryphon Trainer: Raises and trains majestic gryphons for aerial patrols or epic quests.

76. Candlemaker of Whispers: Crafts candles that flicker with spectral flames, allowing communication with the departed.

77. Stardust Prospector: Mines cosmic minerals from fallen meteors—star iron, comet opals, and nebula gems.

78. Golem Animator: Breathes life into clay and stone constructs, imbuing them with purpose.

79. Wraith Whisperer: Communicates with restless spirits, negotiating unfinished business.

80. Celestial Navigator: Guides ships by star charts, steering vessels through astral currents.

81. Chaos Theorist: Predicts chaotic events using butterfly-wing equations, preventing or exploiting chaos.

82. Fairy Ring Dancer: Enters mystical circles to converse with fairies, striking bargains or seeking wisdom.

83. Banshee Lullaby Singer: Soothes grieving souls with haunting songs, easing their passage to the beyond.

84. Goblin Diplomat: Negotiates peace treaties between realms, balancing goblin mischief and human interests.

85. Veilwalker: Steps between dimensions using shimmering veils, exploring parallel worlds.

86. Moonshard Weaver: Threads moonstone shards into cloaks that grant moonwalking abilities.

87. Gryphon Whisperer: Communicates with gryphons through empathic bonds.

88. Cursed Curator: Collects cursed artifacts, safeguarding them in hidden vaults.

89. Sphinx Riddler: Poses enigmas to travelers seeking wisdom, granting answers in exchange for riddles.

90. Bard of Echoes: Sings songs that echo through time, preserving forgotten tales.

91. Goblin Inventor: Constructs whimsical gadgets—umbrellas that predict rain, shoes that dance, and hats that translate squirrel chatter.

92. Serpent Astronomer: Studies cosmic serpents—constellations that writhe across the sky.

93. Wisp Choreographer: Stages ethereal dances in moonlit glades, captivating forest creatures.

94. Lorekeeper of Lost Languages: Deciphers ancient scripts, unlocking forbidden knowledge.

95. Mistral Cartographer: Maps winds—trade winds, storm fronts, and zephyr currents.

96. Harbinger of Eclipses: Predicts solar and lunar eclipses, foretelling cosmic shifts.

97. Grimoire Illuminator: Adds luminescent runes to spellbooks, making incantations glow.

98. Nymph Whisperer: Listens to water nymphs’ laughter, translating it into healing melodies.

99. Celestial Harvester: Gathers stardust for celestial events—meteor showers, comet arrivals.

100. Goblin Mechanomancer: Constructs clockwork creatures—mechanical squirrels, steam-powered beetles.

101. Sylph Skyweaver: Spins cloud silk into airy garments that grant flight.

102. Oracle of Shifting Sands: Reads desert dunes, predicting sandstorms and mirages.

103. Moonmoth Keeper: Tends to moonmoths—luminous insects that guide lost travelers.

104. Gryphon Herald: Announces royal decrees from the backs of majestic gryphons.

105. Cauldron Seer: Gazes into bubbling cauldrons, glimpsing past, present, and future.

106. Whisperwood Arborist: Nurtures ancient trees that whisper forgotten secrets.

107. Stardust Cartographer: Maps cosmic phenomena—supernovae, black holes, and quasars.

108. Goblin Clockmaker: Constructs timepieces with peculiar quirks—watches that run backward, hourglasses that pause.

109. Sphinx Scholar: Studies riddles, deciphering their hidden meanings.

110. Wisp Guardian: Protects sacred wisps from curious wanderers.

111.Labyrinth Keeper: Guards labyrinth entrances, ensuring only worthy seekers enter.

112. Frostfire Forger: Crafts weapons that blaze with icy flames.

113. Goblin Meteorologist: Predicts weather using enchanted barometers and cloud crystals.

114. Sylph Windwhisperer: Converses with gusts, learning their secrets.

115. Dreamcatcher Artisan: Weaves dreamcatchers that trap nightmares and release sweet dreams.

116. Celestial Herald: Announces cosmic events—comets, eclipses, and planetary alignments.

117. Grimoire Binder: Assembles spellbooks, binding them with dragonhide and phoenix feathers.

118. Nymph Songkeeper: Records water nymphs’ melodies, preserving them in enchanted shells.

119. Goblin Tinkerer: Repairs broken gadgets—flying broomsticks, talking teapots.

120. Starforged Smith: Hammers star fragments into celestial armor and swords.

🎉 WOOHOO, YOU MADE IT TO THE END! 🎉

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“We are here, and this is now.” Constable Visit, a strict believer in the Omnian religion, occasionally quoted that from their holy book. Vimes understood it to mean, in less exalted copper speak, that you have to do the job that is in front of you.

--Terry Pratchett, Night Watch

colour theory this, flattering silhouettes that.

babes I cannot overstate the importance of wearing things just because you enjoy them.

NOTHING is flattering if youre uncomfortable while wearing it - not a goddamn thing.

orienting your sense of style around what makes you visually palatable to others: 1) outsources some of your self-worth so it's beyond your control, and 2) sets you up for a Sisyphean journey of never being enough which feed the consumerist machine.

Don't try to look good. Try to look and feel yourself.

this video has been going around for a while but the English subtitles didn't match the energy of the spoken French at all. i had to fix it.

reblog to spread this version

@lovers-teeth get peer reviewed idiot (affectionate)!

its finally warm enough for me to go swimming at my local lake

IT'S SEAL TIME BABEY

An Incomplete List of the Animals my Grandpa brought home over the course of his 67-year marriage to Gandma:

Annabell, a solid white and completely deaf pit bull that used to let mom draw on her belly

The World’s Ugliest Tom Cat, who turned out to be the cuddiest teddy bear of an animal

Cocker spaniel named “Captain”

Stupid, the Cat

Litter of baby raccoons

Three more cats

A completely bald and extremely anxious canary that sang beautifully, but only at 4 AM

Baby Squirrel that grew up in the house and then refused to move out

A Genuine Thoroughbred Racehorse who was a spectacular athelete but had a habit of running races in the wrong direction.  Benny turned out to be a terrific trail horse instead.

Turtle

Snapping Turtle

A bucket full of 43 goldfish left over from the fair.  Mom counted once they were all in the bathtub in the backyard with the snapping turtle.

Another cocker spaniel named “Major”, who had the tremendous talent of eating green beans silently

Red-tailed hawk he found on the highway, and sucessfully nursed back to health and released.

Dummy, Son of Stupid

Strange, the dog that lived under the porch and only came into the house at night.

An “abandoned” baby deer.

Spooky, an alleged dog.  

Joey the parakeet whose tricks were  1. drinking tea out of a tiny cup 2. threatening to peck out people’s eyes 3. wearing hats

A Really Big Toad he found behind the factory, because the other auto workers were discussing using it for target practice.  Mr. Grumpity was guardian of the rosebed for several years and granny’s (his mother) favorite animal he ever brought home.

Gretchen, a St. Bernard that had to be shaved from her prior owner’s neglect, and spent a week hiding from sight with such success in the house that they thought she’d run away.

Arson, Burglary and Murder, three frankly adorable little kittens.  They did not change the names, much to the regret of the cop who lived three doors down.

Yet another Cocker Spaniel, named “Colonel”

Cardinal (bird)

Canada Goose (Demon)

Once in the nursing home, he had a “pet” 12-point whitetail buck that would come to his window to be fed corn and get headskritches, inexplicably named “Florence”

The marriage only ended because thier time on earth did. He never kept an animal Grandma wouldn’t allow and if anything she was worse about it. She was the one who brought home a tarantula.

THANK YOU FOR THE SPAM LIKES ILY <3

ILY TOO <3!

I really do think dracula daily/re: dracula is the best way to experience dracula the book, because it adds an entirely new level of horror and dread that a book can never truly achieve.

Because, instead of simply reading through the book in one go, you have to wait along with it. You get to see Jonathan express his terror in real time, and experience the dread of days going by with no news from him, wondering what could possibly be going on in the time you hear nothing.

Like it’s a level of horror of the unknown storytelling that Bram Stoker never could have imagined and it adds an entirely new experience to the story and i just think it’s neat

Shout out to the best joke I’ve ever told, WWDITS style.

(His name is Timothy)