Dangertiefling - Even Dreams Are Full Of Broken Things

“‘For I have smoked a blunt with my left hand,’ he will say, ‘but in my right hand is how i could have taken massive bong rips. Blazing is under my will only.’ The ending of the words is ALMSIVI.”

—

Do you think that aliens would have the capacity to train their bodies past what is required for survival?

Most of humanity's ability to train our body to the extreme is due to the right mindset. And even then, very few jobs (in the grand scheme of career choices) require an extremely elite body. To an alien, it wouldn't make much sense to torture your body for that summer beach look.

So even if an alien wanted to do that, do you think they'd have the same mental capacity that a human would?

Don't even get me started on adrenaline, endorphins, and exercise addiction.

The concept of a human getting addicted to the hormones and chemicals their body releases under stress is scary, even to a human.

I don't know much about exercise theory so tell me your thoughts on this!

stop making shows about americans in europe… try europeans in america instead. the outrage of not knowing exactly what something costs at a store,, no public transport,, everyone smiling in your face and waiters scaring you by constantly popping up at your table… ice in your water for some reason,, the kind of culture clash i want to see!!

shout out to scribs, gotta be one of my favorite creatures <3

The details nearly killed me.

you know, for all I joke about quarantine being my normal life, I never realised how much I liked having the option to go out if I want to.

HAPPY TOTAL ECLIPSE OF THE HEART THURSDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I saw this on fb-

I'm curious. Reblog this if you know how to cook

I don’t even care if it’s macaroni, ramen or those little bowls you stick in the microwave. Please, I need reassurance that most of the population on tumblr WOULDN’T STARVE TO DEATH if their parents couldn’t fix them food or they couldn’t go out to eat. 

Ok hear me out; valdemar with their child. But their child is now a rebellious teenager and is super smart so they come up with the most brilliant ways to just piss off their parent. They still have a super good relationship but maybe the child got more of MC’s ideals and morality than valdemars?

Ahahaha I love this ♥️

——

“MC, please tell your offspring-” / “Oh, so when they do something good they’re ‘our beloved child’ but when they do something bad it’s ‘my offspring’? Very mature of you, Valdemar…” / “*growling*”

When the child was little they had a period when they didn’t understand why neither mom nor dad applied to Valdemar și they started calling them “Doctor” because that’s what they heard everyone call them. Valdemar found it endearing.

Now, as a teenager, not so much. There is a limit to how many times this demon can walk in and see their child sitting in the middle of a mess and look up at them and go “What’s up, Doc?”.

The child also learned pretty quickly that other people seem to be very afraid of Valdemar. So guess which parent is somehow the only one available to be called in when they get in trouble at school? Yeah, that’s how they get away with everything.

The following conversation happens pretty often:

Valdemar: I find it hard to understand why you of all people seem to have made it your life’s mission to test the limits of my patience…

Child: 'Cuz I know you won’t do anything.

Valdemar:…and why is that?

Child: BECAUSE YOU LOVE ME, HA!

Valdemar: *fuming, storms out of the room*

When they were young and throwing a tantrum Valdemar used to walk out of the room and tell them “Come talk to me after you regain your rationality”. The kid now does exactly the same when Valdemar tries to lecture them about something. They say it’s impolite and the child says “Well I learned it from you~”. More growling.

At some point when Valdemar was angry at them they said “Easy there, Maleficent, you’re almost spitting fire and this dungeon is flammable”. Valdemar had to step outside and scream.

Their bickering is extremely funny but only you are allowed to laugh, the others get life threats. Well, Valdemar tried it once with you too but you were like “Nah, not working, after screwing a demon and carrying another one in my womb, nothing scares me anymore”. Ok, good point, you win this one, MC.

But the no. 1 fan of their showdowns is the Devil. He’s having the time of his life watching the two. Once he even brought popcorn. Valdemar kicked him out more than once.

At some point they actually looked at the child, who apparently inherited their famous grin, and went:

Despite all that, every day when the child leaves for school they go and hug Valdemar while saying “Be good and don’t kill anyone today. I love you~” and they hug them back and tell them “Be good and stop using me to scare your teachers. I love you too~”. None of those things happen and they know it but it’s their thing and it’s adorable.