Steddie Comic Part 4/?

Musicals reviewed by someone who knows absolutely nothing about musical theater

Newsies: Yes that 30 year old man is definitely a 17 year old boy

Dear Evan Hansen: Wait did he really just use the death of her brother to get in her pants?

Be More Chill: oh my god we get it he masturbates

Heathers: don’t you just hate it when your boyfriend turns out to be a sociopath

Mean Girls: It’s literally Heather’s but less blood and a hotter villain

Legally Blonde: the only musical ever I do not take criticism

Phantom of the Opera: Dramatic ass bitches the musical

Hamilton: absolutely not, this musical fills me with rage and I cannot explain why

Spring Awakening: don’t have sex, because you will get pregnant and die

Beetlejuice: oh my god we get it they’re dead

Les Miserables: hon hon hon oui oui baguette also I guess there’s a revolution? I don’t know I’ve never seen it

Wicked: Wizard of Oz but Lesbian flavored

Into The Woods: oh my god we get it they’re in the woods

Waitress: there is no joke it’s a lovely show highly recommend

Fun Home: Daddy issues but lesbian flavored

Hairspray: am I the only one who thinks the way Link talks about her is kinda weird???

Six: Hamilton wishes it had what this has

Little Shop of Horrors: I cannot belive this show ends with all of the main characters getting vored

Shrek: literally no one asked for this but it somehow exceeds all expectations

Sweeney Todd: the music is honestly great but we need to talk about how bad the blood looks in the movie oh my god

West Side Story: I can’t think about this without thinking about “POISON BOOTS” also holy shit the percussion in this show deserves its own production

Hadestown: this is the alto and bass representation we needed

Frozen: I am not and will never be emotionally prepared for Frozen 2 the musical please don’t make me

DAMIAN WAYNE ICONS

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Grantaire: I-Is your hand on my ass?!

Enjolras: It was an accident.

Grantaire: Your hand’s still on my ass!

Enjolras: It’s still an accident.

Doctor Doom rounds up the gang for a fun filled day of exacting revenge on their enemies.

bruce: report, where are each of you

*silence*

bruce: alright i'm turning on your comms manually

tim: uh hullo mr wayne this is conner on tim's comm, we really think it'd be best if ya don't turn on tim's comm for an hour or so if you know what i- *off*

*comms open manually*

dick: yeah hi, how many patties can you fit on one burger? 10? is that really it or are you bullshitting me BECAUSE I KNOW YO- *off*

jason: yes you're a pretty gun. yes you are! who is my favorite gun? you are! *off*

damian: i'm going to name you batchicken

bruce: DAMIAN NO

damian: *smashes comm*

bruce: goddammit why do i do this to myself, maybe steph and cass will be better

steph: okay cass so i think the best first lesbian bar is- *off*

bruce: hi, alfred, i'm so sorry for everything

Courfeyrac: I know you think my judgement's clouded because I like Combeferre a little bit.

Enjolras: You doodled your wedding invitation.

Courfeyrac: No, that's our joint tombstone.

Enjolras: My mistake.

*distressed Combeferre noises in the background*

At the Watchtower

Kon: So then ma says "well you're not coming back into this house until you've caught every single one of them pigs"-

Tim: [clutching his coffee-mug and listening intently] without powers?

Kon: Of course! So there I am, covered in mud, and all I want is to eat some pie and go to bed-

Tim: [nodding enthusiastically while Kon continues his story]

Clark: [looks on from a distance]

Jon: [a few seats away] Did I tell you we got a new cow on the farm?

Damian: [with interest] what did you name her?

Jon: We haven't decided yet, Kon wants to call her Dorothy, but pa and I-

Damian: [earnestly interested]

Clark: [side eyes Bruce who's sitting next to him going through reports]

Clark: Hey Bruce?

Bruce: [grunts]

Clark: did I tell you we got a new cow at the farm?

Bruce: [hums noncommitally and continues reading]

Clark: [strained] Kon wants to call her Dorothy, but I think we should call her Susie and Jon-

Bruce: [sighs exasperatedly]

Clark:

Clark: [rips the reports away from Bruce with super speed]

Bruce: What the hell?

Clark: You're such a bad friend!

Bruce: what?

Clark: why am I stuck with you when my children's bat friends are so nice?!

Bruce:

Clark: Look at Tim! He's so nice! Why can't you be like that?!

Bruce: You want me to be like Tim?

Clark: Or Damian!

Bruce: [rubbing his temples] You want me to be like Damian?

Clark: I want you to listen when I talk!

Bruce: you were talking about cows

Clark: that doesn't matter!

Bruce: It matters a little

Clark: Cows are interesting!

Bruce: Cows are the opposite of interesting.

Clark: Well, I'M interesting

Bruce:

Clark: Bruce, tell me I'm interesting.

Bruce: [gets up and starts walking away]

Clark: [shouts after him] Bruce! Tell me I'm interesting!

Bruce: [walks faster]

-a week later-

Wonder Woman: Are Batman and Superman having a fight?

Flash: yeah I think so. I don't know what about though

Martian Mindhunter: I believe Batman insulted Superman's cow

Wonder Woman: I see.

Black Canary: Sometimes I wake up at night and think about the fact that they are two of the most important members of an organization that protects the world from certain annihilation and then I can't go back to sleep

Green Lantern: [feet propped on the table, throwing almonds into the air and trying to catch them in his mouth] yeah it freaks me out too

Black Canary: [glances at Green Lantern] never leave us, Diana.

Hi, new DC fan here and there’s so much romantic and sexual tension between Dick and Wally that I was really surprised to find out they aren’t canon. Like really?

i don’t take criticism but i do take tips

Hi, new DC fan here and there’s so much romantic and sexual tension between Dick and Wally that I was really surprised to find out they aren’t canon. Like really?

i don’t take criticism but i do take tips