dearjoons

Latest Posts by dearjoons

🦇 TEENVAMPIRE!JIMIN HEADCANNONS

warnings: vampire!jimin x human!reader. 2000s public school au. he’s a hot weird kid idk how else to describe it. non-biting vampire. ⎛⎝( ` ᢍ ´ )⎠⎞

lulu speaks: i edited the fang on him myself thank you thank you no need for applause 😌

ྐ❤︎ teenvampire!jimin who transferred in the middle of the semester with no explanation. no parents. no records. just showed up to homeroom one day in a black leather jacket and eyeliner.

ྐ❤︎ teenvampire!jimin who only drinks from blood bags because he’s “trying to be good now”.

ྐ❤︎ teenvampire!jimin who has the nerve to say “you smell… good” like it’s not the same love spell body mist half the school wears.

ྐ❤︎ teenvampire!jimin who is suspiciously confident. he shows up late to class but never gets in trouble. has perfect grades but never studies. he always looks like he knows something you don’t.

ྐ❤︎ teenvampire!jimin whose eyes are constantly low and tired like his eyelids weigh tons.

ྐ❤︎ teenvampire!jimin who fails gym every semester because his heart doesn’t beat, he doesn’t sweat, and he can’t explain that during a beep test.

ྐ❤︎ teenvampire!jimin who always smells faintly of something sweet and metallic. you can never place it. it makes your chest ache a little.

ྐ❤︎ teenvampire!jimin who hasn’t fed in days—not since he saw you. everything after that tasted bland, like ash. not you. and he couldn’t do that to himself.

ྐ❤︎ teenvampire!jimin who got a good look at your neck once when you tilted your head back laughing. his knuckles went white. he left the room.

ྐ❤︎ teenvampire!jimin who never sits next to you. ever. but he’s always in your eyeline. the cafeteria, homeroom, biology, the hallway. he’s always close enough for you to see; never enough for you to suspect.

ྐ❤︎ teenvampire!jimin who asks you if you believe in monsters one day, completely out of the blue. you say no. he grins, nods. “lucky you.”

ྐ❤︎ teenvampire!jimin who calls you “bright eyes”, all teasing and smug as if his don’t glimmer when they catch the moonlight.

ྐ❤︎ teenvampire!jimin who has a painfully noticeable shift in his energy when he’s hungry—his pupils dilate, his sarcasm dissapears, and he moves like he’s got something heavy chained to his spine. his eyes are set forward: unmoving, deathly set on something in the distance.

ྐ❤︎ teenvampire!jimin who buys a new abercrombie & fitch cologne every release because he thinks it’ll make him smell like every other teenage boy.

lulu speaks pt2: one of my irl friends has my acc now so she can see everything i post🧍🏻‍♀️everyone say hi mani 👋🏼

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📔 CLASSPRESIDENT!JIMIN HEADCANNONS

warnings: classpresident!jimin x brainsandbrawns!reader. he’s basically a smarter & bitchier tristan dugray. private school au. long time rivals with tension. power couple who isn’t a couple yet but SO should be. rich boy with a pride problem.

lulu speaks: he’s hot i want him BHADDD

✎ classpresident!jimin whose parents are part of the school board, and are the main funders of the school.

✎ classpresident!jimin who ran for class president and won by a landslide. it was mostly because his peers are scared to death of him, and because nobody else even bothered to run against him.

✎ classpresident!jimin who finishes physics tests 20 minutes early and leaves students feeling like idiots just for glancing at their calculator.

✎ classpresident!jimin who will give you detention for being late and then walk you to class himself, smirking the entire time down.

✎ classpresident!jimin who pulls your chair out and holds the door for you, but not for anyone else. ever. if someone points it out, he brushes it off with, “she’s too high-maintenance to be trusted with a door.”

✎ classpresident!jimin who shoots anyone who makes you laugh death stares, but only because he knows he’s never even been close to doing that—and he’ll likely never be.

✎ classpresident!jimin who absolutely sabotages anyone who tries to date you. he grades them harshly on their assignments because he’s a TA, tells teachers they were talking during a fire drill, spreads rumors that could ruin careers, all while you are blissfully unaware.

✎ classpresident!jimin who pretends he doesn’t remember your valentine’s day kiss from 4th grade. (it was a dare. it lasted a second. you definetly forgot about it by now, right???)

✎ classpresident!jimin who pulled strings with the professor to switch out your chem partner because he was too flirty.

✎ classpresident!jimin who remembers how his face used to get all red and his hands used to get all sweaty when he had to sit next to you in 2nd grade.

✎ classpresident!jimin who tried to actually flirt exactly once—you laughed in his face. he played it off, but he actually went home and screamed into his pillow.

✎ classpresident!jimin who has literally NEVER interrupted you when you’re speaking in class. not once. even if you’re wrong, even if he’s dying to correct you. he waits, because you’re the only person he respects at that level.

✎ classpresident!jimin who replies with “make me” evrey time you tell him to shut up.

✎ classpresident!jimin who 100% knows the way you smell. the actual name of your perfume—he looked it up. and now, when he catches whiffs of it in public, his head whips around like a dog hearing a toy jingle.

✎ classpresident!jimin who is in love with you—no matter what he says or how he rolls his eyes. painfully, hopelessly, endlessly in love with you, and he’ll take it to his grave…unless you find out.

lulu speaks pt2: when i found this picture of jimin i was half asleep and literally didn’t know if i was hallucinating or not. i wasn’t!! it’s real 💆🏻‍♀️

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210 notes & 104 followers ily all 🥹🥹

💐 EXBF!JUNGKOOK HEADCANNONS

REQUEST: “i was thinking like you guys are still somewhat friends after the breakup (maybe in the same friend group or smt) and he’s still very much in love with you type thing ykk 🤭”

warnings: exboyfriend!jungkook x exgirlfriend!reader. clingy ex. he’s still MADLY in love. he’s kinda annoying but we love him. slightly fwb (?). same friend group. friends post-breakup.

lulu speaks: hi i LOVE this trope so im very happy u (beautiful anon) requested this. hope this makes u happy 😚

ᰔ exboyfriend!jungkook who still calls you ‘baby.’ doesn’t even blink when someone goes, “didn’t you guys break up like 6 months ago?” “so what? she’s still my baby.”

ᰔ exboyfriend!jungkook who sits next to you in every setting imaginable. restaurants, movies, bars, car rides, booths at dinner. he will physically move people to be able to sit next to you. “scoot” has single-handedly become the most used word in his vocabulary.

ᰔ exboyfriend!jungkook who replies to ALL of your texts in your groupchat. replies with hearts, texts of his own (that no one asked for), or by saying something like “this was funny hahaha take me back pls🙏🏼”

ᰔ exboyfriend!jungkook who is a hugger. OH, HE’S A HUGGER, ALRIGHT. everytime you meet up, everytime you leave, he clings on like he’s a koala with trust issues. full-on arms around your waist, chin on your shoulder type of hug. he sighs and smiles like he belongs there.

ᰔ exboyfriend!jungkook who will turn to you, casual stare, lips puckered at you like he’s just expecting a kiss. you shove him off, rolling your eyes and hiding the beginnings of a smile.

ᰔ exboyfriend!jungkook who brings you flowers every time he comes over. even if it’s a group hangout at your place, if he showed up unannounced, or if you called him because you were crying or lonely. wax paper-wrapped bouquet hand-picked by some florist who was under the impression that he was picking that up for his girlfriend.

ᰔ exboyfriend!jungkook who remembers everything about you. everything. the cologne he wore that you always complimented, your favorite movie, color, food, songs, all of it.

ᰔ exboyfriend!jungkook who will drop everything if you ask. he’ll literally leave work early if you text him you’re not having a good day. you call him at 2AM? he’s out of bed and starting his ignition right then and there.

ᰔ exboyfriend!jungkook who is so annoying when your friend group goes out to eat. he plops himself down in the seat next to you without asking. he slides his drink towards you to try first. tells the waiter when they got something wrong with your order before you even have the chance to do it first.

ᰔ exboyfriend!jungkook who still has you saved in his contacts as “wifey 🤍”. you broke up 6 months ago.

ᰔ exboyfriend!jungkook whose friends go “give it a rest, bro.” to which he replies, “what? we’re friends 😊” while literally staring at you like you harnessed the moon from the sky.

ᰔ exboyfriend!jungkook who shows off when you’re around. he flexes his arms with his tongue poking at his cheek, wiggling his eyebrows like he knows you’re secretly ogling.

ᰔ exboyfriend!jungkook who texts you the literal minute after you leave the hangout. “you get home safe?” “miss you” “had fun. u looked beautiful as always”

ᰔ exboyfriend!jungkook who still drinks out of your cup, borrows your lip balm, offering you a bite of his food and taking one right where you just bit.

ᰔ exboyfriend!jungkook who steals and wears your hair ties around his wrist everytime he comes over.

lulu speaks pt2: thank u anon!! he’s soo annoyinggggg omggggg 😘🥰😛 stawp he’s weirddd☺️😘🥰🥰ughhh you just can’t shake him offff🤪🤪😝🥰🤪😍😜😘😛

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Hiii, love all your works girl 💜💜 If ur requests are open I’d like to request mafia leader Jimin (the details are up to you). If not, or if it’s just not your thing, it’s all good!!

thank you!!! my reqs are always open 😌😌

i love you and this idea but i’m sorry to say this isn’t my thing. NO HATE to mafia AUs but i personally don’t enjoy this typa stuff, therefore i don’t think i’d do it justice 😞

i just don’t wanna get this wrong and im not very confident in my abilities to write something like this 💔

anon who requested ex boyfriend!jk here 🫶🏽

so sorry for not clarifying but i was thinking like you guys are still somewhat friends after the breakup (maybe in the same friend group or smt) and he’s still very much in love with you type thing ykk 🤭

I LOVE YOU 😫

this is like one of my favorite tropes ever. thank you SO much for this. i’ll try to have this out sometime this week 😛

if your requests are still open, could i ask for ex-bf jungkook headcanons 🙇🏻‍♀️

hihihi!! my requests are always open ! i love hearing ur guys’ ideas.

sooo like are we thinking angsty social media stalker ex?? friends post breakup but he’s actually lowkey still in love?? what are we thinking girllll 🧐

i will tell u one thing tho…i suck booty butt asscrack at writing angst. not my forte. BUT PLS EXPAND!! i love this trope

jungkook what d'you mean you engaged once?! whats THAT about 😭😭😭

oh PLEASE that man has definetly dabbled in the milf scene. maybe even multiple times.

he didn’t like it tho trust (there was one mom…whew. he doesn’t like talking about it . 10/10 he’d do it again, but he’d never say that out loud).

📚 NERD!JIMIN HEADCANNONS (2)

warnings: literally non lol. fluff, yearning, pining, slight jealousy and angst if you squint and cover your eyes. he has a PHHHHAAAATTTTTT crush on reader. cutie pie.

lulu speaks: i recommend you read PART 1 before continuing. highly recommended, not 100% necessary.

✎ nerd!jimin who doodles tiny marvel logos in the margins of his notes and once drew your name in comic sans.

✎ nerd!jimin who acts like he doesn’t know how to share a word document, just so you lean over and touch his computer. he’s an honor roll student. he knows how to share a word document.

✎ nerd!jimin who is so unfortunately obvious with his crush on you that professors give him cheeky little side eyes when you interact with him.

✎ nerd!jimin who carries a mini glasses cleaning kit in a tiny pouch. there’s a spray bottle of cleaner and two different microfiber cloths.

✎ nerd!jimin who runs a reddit account where he corrects marvel lore inaccuracies but logs out in shame every time he gets upvoted.

✎ nerd!jimin who said “you look really pret— uh— prepared! f-for class. your notes! are nice.” and then didn’t speak again for two days.

✎ nerd!jimin who knows your laugh by heart. not just the sound—but the types. your real laugh. your fake laugh. your giggle when you're trying not to laugh in class. he could give a TED talk about it.

✎ nerd!jimin who once walked past your classroom while you were giving a presentation and literally backed up to stand by the door so he could listen in. heart pounding. smiling like an idiot every time you made a joke.

✎ nerd!jimin who prays you’ll ask him for help in class. he wants to explain the quadratic formula to you. he wants you to say “you’re so smart, jimin.” he’d black out if you did.

✎ nerd!jimin who saw his first marvel movie in theaters at age 10 and it literally altered his brain chemistry. he walked out thinking he was iron man. his mom had to drag him away from the cardboard standee.

✎ nerd!jimin who secretly fantasizes about watching every marvel movie with you in chronological order. on his couch. a blanket, snacks, you asking him questions everytime a new face appears on the screen. him explaining the lore. you leaning on his shoulder during thor: love and thunder.

✎ nerd!jimin who literally forgets how to breathe when you’re near. he has to manually inhale. “okay, jimin. inhale. now smile. no, not like a serial killer. relax. look cool.”

✎ nerd!jimin who gets stupidly jealous way too often. he bites the inside of his cheek and taps his pencil like he’s trying to stab the table. his jealousy doesn’t look explosive—it looks like fidgeting, clenched fists, murmuring “whatever, he’s not even that funny.”

✎ nerd!jimin who gets caught staring at you and does that abnoxiously awkward thing where he looks away too fast and pretends to read. it’s actually a sticky note he wrote to himself that says, “finish chem hw dumbass.”

✎ nerd!jimin who bumps into you in the hallway and apologizes nine times before realizing it was barely a graze. “sorry! i wasn’t looking. my fault. are you okay? i didn’t—okay. sorry. i’ll just—okay. sorry.”

✎ nerd!jimin who organizes his closet by color, category, and season. all his socks are folded into perfect little cubes.

✎ nerd!jimin who fidgets constantly. with his pen, his sleeves, the drawstring of his hoodie. if he’s concentrating, he’ll chew the inside of his cheek or bounce his leg so hard the table shakes.

✎ nerd!jimin who gets the hiccups when he’s nervous. you smile at him for too long? hic. you sit next to him during a lecture? hic. he wants to cry and crawl into his backpack.

✎ nerd!jimin who thinks loving you must be some kind of secret superpower. something he was cursed or blessed with. something that makes every day a little harder—and a lot better.

lulu speaks pt2: hi 👋🏼👋🏼 nobody asked for this but I wanted this to happen. and you can’t stop me. nobody can. never. NEVERRRRR MWAHAHAHAHAHA

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🛟 LIFEGUARD!JUNGKOOK HEADCANNONS

warnings: lifeguard!jungkook x lifeguard!reader. part-time summer job. yes, he’s a teenager with a full sleeve tattoo. ignore the logic. reader is a gorgeous baddie (just like you). he has a PHHAATTT crush on reader. teehee

lulu speaks: SOMEBODY SEDATE ME BEFORE I JUMP ON THAT CHLORINE INFESTED DICK 🤑🤑

𓇼 lifeguard!jungkook who notices when the pre-teen girls do flips and jump in the pool in “cool” ways to try and get his attention. he just giggles and shakes his head.

𓇼 lifeguard!jungkook who knows your schedule better than management does. he’s not stalking you—he’s just… informed. hyper-aware. “oh, she usually gets here around 2:45… not that i’m watching the clock or anything.”

𓇼 lifeguard!jungkook who has a very tiny, very silly, very managed crush on you. very under control. very…very.

𓇼 lifeguard!jungkook who takes hydration very seriously. he carries one of those giant half-gallon water jugs everywhere, full of ice and either hose water or an egregious amount of blue gatorade.

𓇼 lifeguard!jungkook who reeks of sunscreen, bug repellent, and chlorine.

𓇼 lifeguard!jungkook who is incredibly good with kids. he claps when the toddlers make their first jump, gives high-fives during his pH testing time, lets them climb on his shoulders when he breaks pool rules and gets in.

𓇼 lifeguard!jungkook who walked into a nearby 7/11 after accidentally keeping his lifeguard uniform on. he didn’t even notice until the cashier called him “baywatch”.

𓇼 lifeguard!jungkook who decides to simply not wear his shirt when you’re working a shift with him. he claims it’s purely coincidental. okay jungkook. sure.

𓇼 lifeguard!jungkook who glances over at you while he’s sitting on his tall lifeguard chair so much that it’s borderline hazardous.

𓇼 lifeguard!jungkook who smiles extra cheekily when you decide to take up the rest of his shift for him. he’ll probably just end up staying and doing your maintenance for you.

𓇼 lifeguard!jungkook who stays after hours almost every evening. the sky turning a certain hue of purple, the pool clear of moms and their kids. just him. and maybe you.

𓇼 lifeguard!jungkook who notices when the moms (single or not) bat their eyelashes at him. he doesn’t engage. because he did once, and let’s just say that wasn’t the best summer he’s had.

𓇼 lifeguard!jungkook who challenges you to cannonball competitions during adult swim, the towel-wrapped kids being the judges.

𓇼 lifeguard!jungkook who would 100% dive into the pool with a serious face if you so much as even slipped in.

𓇼 lifeguard!jungkook who texts you “get home safe?” every time you get the late shift. it’s still light outside by the time you do, but it’s the thought that counts.

𓇼 lifeguard!jungkook who literally forgot to blow the whistle when someone broke a rule one time because you had just walked by and adjusted your swimsuit strap.

𓇼 lifeguard!jungkook who thinks about you when he does laps. like an idiot. breathes out under water and pretends it’s not because he imagined what you’d look like sitting on the edge, feet in the pool, smiling just for him.

𓇼 lifeguard!jungkook whose voice subconsciously gets deeper around you. he didn’t even notice until one of the other guards said, “okay darth vader”. jungkook turned red.

𓇼 lifeguard!jungkook who has been in love with you since his first summer on the job but has no idea what to do about it.

lulu speaks pt2: wenomechainsama 🔥 tumajarbisaun 🗣️wifenlooof 🤤 eselifterbraun ❤️‍🔥

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"If you use em dash in your works, it makes them look AI generated. No real human uses em dash."

Imaging thinking actual human writers are Not Real because they use... professional writing in their works.

Imagine thinking millions of people who have been using em dash way before AI becomes a thing are all robots.

REBLOG IF YOU'RE A HUMAN AND YOU USE EM DASH

your works make me feel so giggly i love it!!😆

YOU make me so giggly. 🙂‍↔️🤭

ok sorry not me dismissing ur question

anyways enough of my yapping. YES he’d be head over heels for a nerd. heart eyes.

he tries to answer questions in class only to get them all wrong, but at least he tried. he’d watch her try to write down everything on the board before the teacher erases it. he’d spend all class just GAWKING at her. but she looks over at him and CATCHES him staring??? oh buddy. he turns beet red and immediately puts his head down.

Would scenekid!JK like a nerdy girl? I love your writings so much btw, they're so good!

okay so i can most DEFINITELY see that happening, but like…

PLS TELL ME he wouldn’t be horrendously down for populargirl!reader. like think regina george reincarnate. pink, glittery, rich. maybe she’s a little bit of a bitch.

ARE U KIDDING HE’D BE WHIPPED

Would scenekid!JK like a nerdy girl? I love your writings so much btw, they're so good!

okay so i can most DEFINITELY see that happening, but like…

PLS TELL ME he wouldn’t be horrendously down bad for populargirl!reader. like think regina george reincarnate. pink, glittery, rich. maybe she’s a little bit of a bitch. ARE U KIDDING HE’D BE WHIPPED

also THANK U BABY ILY

OHMYGOSH YOU ACTUALLY WROTE KNIGHTJIMIN PT2 IMCRYINNNNNNN HOW DID I NOT SEE THIS BEFORE THANK YOU QUEEEEEEEEEN *kitheskitheskithesalloverurface*

IM SO HAPPY YOU FOUND IT !!! UR SO WELCOME QUEENIE PIE ILY

if you think you recall some part of my writing being different than the first time you read it….mind your business.

🫟 SCENEKID!JUNGKOOK HEADCANNONS

warnings: himbo energy. likely a very innacurate depiction of scene kids. set somewhere between 2007-2012. he’s kind of a loser. in a hot good way.

lulu speaks: I LOVE HIM SO BAD YOU DONT UNDERSTAND.

✶ scenekid!jungkook who walks into class late everyday, blasting asking alexandria loud enough that you can hear it clearly through his headphones.

✶ scenekid!jungkook who hangs out in the back of spencer’s with his friends and points out every inappropriate item like he’s so brave.

✶ scenekid!jungkook who doesn’t flirt. he just zones out and stares at you with his chin propped up in his hand like an actual idiot.

✶ scenekid!jungkook who uses corny typing quirks like mixing capital letters with lowercase letters in a sentence that ABSOLUTELY does not need to be as dramatic as he makes sound.

✶ scenekid!jungkook who buys EXCLUSIVELY fruit flavored vapes. no exceptions. except maybe a cotton candy one if he’s feeling expiremental.

✶ scenekid!jungkook who is probably the biggest gyopo you’ll ever encounter in your life.

✶ scenekid!jungkook who sits at the back of the cafeteria with his friends, eating some red 40-filled bullshit while trying (and failing) to gawk at you without garnering their attention.

✶ scenekid!jungkook who has a gif of zim and gir kissing in the corner of his myspace page.

✶ scenekid!jungkook who posts grainy, horrible quality pictures of himself baring his teeth and captioning it with soemthing corny like, “TEEF >:3”

✶ scenekid!jungkook who wears his green-striped zip up hoodie and tight black skinny jeans to the mall, sipping on a coke while giggling like a 10 year old about the “i ♥︎ boobies” bracelet in zumiez. he then buys it and does a shit job at hiding it from his mom.

✶ scenekid!jungkook who gets detention for blowing a suspicious, sweetly scented white cloud from his mouth behind his textbook, which was propped up to conveniently hide his whole face from his teacher. yes, it was his watermelon pen. he calls it “a free air freshener”. the school calls it a safety hazard.

✶ scenekid!jungkook who has a real lip ring, but says it’s fake around his mom (she still has no clue he got it done).

✶ scenekid!jungkook who poses for pictures by pouting and mimicking a fake tear by dragging his finger down his face.

✶ scenekid!jungkook who has NO type. scene girl? he’s down bad. emo girl? would die for her. goth girl? oh, he’s barking. popular girl? foaming at the mouth. he just loves women. period.

✶ scenekid!jungkook who gives the jocks and preppy guys death stares when he’s walking down the hallway. he’s silent with his hatred, but NOT subtle. not in the slightest.

✶ scenekid!jungkook who always keeps his ipod clipped on his hoodie pocket.

✶ scenekid!jungkook who sharpie tattoos himself all over. any skin that’s not clothed is getting covered in tiny, senseless doodles. his mom tells him he’ll get ink poisoning. he rolls his eyes when he scrubs it off.

✶ scenekid!jungkook who once got called “kinda hot in a weird way” by a popular girl. he got hard.

✶ scenekid!jungkook who would go on a multiple hour-long tangent about monster flavors if you’d let him. and BOY does he want to.

✶ scenekid!jungkook who accidentally walks into walls, doors, and windows because he’s too busy flipping through the songs on his playlist to find one that matches his exact mood.

lulu speaks pt2: SAW THIS BOY AT THE MALL LAST WEEK, GOT THE KIND OF LOOK TO MAKE ME FREAK . THAT LONG ASS HAIR WITH THE TIGHTEST JEANS, MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE ON HIS TEE. HE LOOKED SO SICK LIKE HE WAS DYING, IF I SAID HE WASN’T HOT THEN I’D BE LYING. PLEASE, HANDSOME, DONT BE COY, COME ON, FUCK ME, EMO BOY 🗣️🗣️🗣️

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Skaterboy!jimin waiting for reader to skip class and to make out at a bathroom stall AHHHHHHH #needthatsobad

IM SORRY FOR NOT SEEING THIS EARLIER MOOTIE 🙏🏼🙏🏼

also…we might have to fight (or kiss) bc NOW I CAN’T GET THIS OUT OF MY HEADDDDUGHHHH. #NEEDTHAT

💼 PROFESSOR!NAMJOON HEADCANNONS

warnings: ex-fuck buddies to co-workers. calculusprofessor!namjoon x litreatureprofessor!reader. mentions of smut. namjoon is an ex-frat boy, reader is an ex-sorority girl. sexual and romantic tension. mentions of heavy drinking. mild angst.

lulu speaks: this cai bot has been on my acc for a very long time. go check it out it’s fye ✌🏼🙂‍↔️

ᝰ professor!namjoon who almost fainted at the sight of you when he moved into his classroom during the summer. he has no clue if you saw him, but all he cares about is that fact you still look the same as you did back then.

ᝰ professor!namjoon who wears clean white button-downs, black dress pants, and the same luxury watch his wealthy father got him as a graduation gift.

ᝰ professor!namjoon who has cleaned up his act. not his mind. below the neatly tousled hair and the wire glasses lays the guy who used to shotgun beers off a balcony and hook up with you during tailgates.

ᝰ professor!namjoon who doesn’t talk about college. ever. when the other teachers reminisce about their university days, namjoon just sips his coffee and nods. If they knew the things he used to do in frat basements, they would never look at him the same.

ᝰ professor!namjoon who feels his stomach drop everytime you laugh—because it reminds him of the days where you were in his bed, sheets kicked off, your sorority tee pushed up and giggling when he kissed down your stomach.

ᝰ professor!namjoon who corrects your grammar in his head, just like he used to during those rare post-sex moments when you would linger in his squeaky twin bed, murmuring nonsense while half dressed. and every time he would, you’d go, “you’re such a fucking nerd, joon.” he used to love that.

ᝰ professor!namjoon who hasn’t hooked up with anyone since he saw you in the classroom across the hall from him—hell, he hasn’t even tried to date around. no one makes him feel the same way you did.

ᝰ professor!namjoon who grades papers to music. Instrumentals only. words distract him. you distract him.

ᝰ professor!namjoon who kept one single picture of yours. it’s from a college party, buried deep in his camera roll. your tongue’s out. his hand’s on your waist.

ᝰ professor!namjoon who is careful not to call you by your first name. too easy to fall back into the past.

ᝰ professor!namjoon who assigned a math worksheet themed around pride & prejudice once. he wondered if you’d notice.

ᝰ professor!namjoon who gets flustered when someone mentions dating among staff, and he’s always the first one to change the subject.

ᝰ professor!namjoon who wonders if you tell your friends about him. about your past. wonders if you laugh.

ᝰ professor!namjoon who always smelled like old spice, weed, and cheap detergent. that combination still hits you sometimes.

ᝰ professor!namjoon who had accidentally called you “babe” during sex one time. you froze. he never said it again.

ᝰ professor!namjoon who straightens his tie in the mirror every morning, tells himself, “it’s fine. she’s just a coworker.” lies.

ᝰ professor!namjoon who says your name around students like it physically pains him to. he dreads the day it’ll be “mrs.” instead of “miss.”

lulu speaks pt2: i wanna take a shower with him—NO I MEAN I MEAN i wanna keep him as a pet…not shower or...makeout with him I MEAN—(pls get my arcade craniacs reference)

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🛹 SKATERBOY!JIMIN HEADCANNONS (3)

warnings: rodrick heffley-anna coleman (freaky friday) crossover. set somewhere between 1994-2006. THERE IS SMUT DOWN THERE! reader discretion is advised.

lulu speaks: EVERYONE THANK THE LOVELY @rosequartzz77 FOR REQUESTING MORE OF HIM. he’s actually my favorite out of all jimin AUs i’ve birthed thank yew. here is PART 1 and PART 2 of him.

★ skaterboy!jimin who is the kind of boyfriend you tell your daughters about 20 years later, when they’re having boy problems. you tell them everything—every rebellious, likely illegal moment. they’re appalled, to say the least. the most appalling part is that your same eyeliner-wearing, cigarette-smoking ex-boyfriend is their father.

★ skaterboy!jimin who lets you paint his nails black in your bedroom while he lays sprawled out on your rug, talking shit about your teachers and letting his fingers curl around your thigh like it’s second nature.

★ skaterboy!jimin who always tells you you’re his girl. always. doesn’t matter if it’s in front of friends or strangers or his deadbeat stepdad—“that’s my girl,” he says with a cocky grin, like he’s got the whole world wrapped around your finger.

★ skaterboy!jimin who has a burn scar on his forearm from a shitty house party bonfire where he tried to impress you by lighting two joints at once. You kissed the burn that night. He’s never shut up about it since.

★ skaterboy!jimin who sometimes zones out mid-convo just staring at your mouth. doesn’t even realize he’s doing it until you go, “you good?” and he just mumbles, “uh-huh... just thinking about something…” (he was thinking about kissing you until you cried, actually.)

★ skaterboy!jimin who gets handsy in his sleep. pulls you against him even in the middle of the night, hand gripping your waist, one thigh thrown over yours, hips twitching when you shift in his hold.

★ skaterboy!jimin who uses your name as his username on AIM. he got it just to do that.

★ skaterboy!jimin who wears your hair tie on his wrist even though it cuts off his circulation. he uses it as a way to flaunt you, like girl-repellent. goes, “yeah, this is my GIRLFRIEND’S.”

★ skaterboy!jimin who gets distracted mid-makeout by your lip gloss. “what flavor is that?” and then proceeds to lick it off your mouth instead of waiting for an answer.

★ skaterboy!jimin who absolutely did not shut up about you to his boys when you first started dating him.

★ skaterboy!jimin who fails PE because he keeps skipping class to go walk you to lunch. he’s sweaty, shirt untucked, bruised, but he’s there at the double doors every. single. day.

★ skaterboy!jimin who gets moody when you laugh too hard at another guy’s joke and then sulks dramatically on the curb until you sit beside him and kiss his cheek.

★ skaterboy!jimin who sometimes calls you at 1AM from the payphone outside the 7/11 just to hear your voice. “did you know i love you? just needed to say it. that’s all. you’re hot. okay bye.”

★ skaterboy!jimin who sucks at math but volunteers to be your partner, because why wouldn’t he? does none of the work. just stares at you. tries to look cool while pretending to solve for x.

★ skaterboy!jimin who—despite being a cool and intimidating guy—actually gets horny over you bossing him around. he’ll do quite literally whatever you say, and he’ll do it with a smile on his face (and a boner in his pants).

★ skaterboy!jimin who will absolutely pull your hair when you give him head. most likely in his car or his room; chest heaving, hair sticking to his forehead, the sight of you bobbing up and down on his length only pushing him to tug harder.

★ skaterboy!jimin who has one kink: you. always you. chewing gum? ripping tape with your teeth? checking yourself out in a mirror? he’s hard. instantly. “i hate you. i hate you, baby,” he’ll groan as he palms himself. “you don’t even try to turn me on.”

★ skaterboy!jimin who has a serious oral fixation. fingers in your mouth. tongue around yours. cigarettes shared between kisses. he’ll lick whipped cream off your finger in public and smirk like, “what? i’m being sweet.”

★ skaterboy!jimin who adores when you ride his thigh. he sits back and watches you with that lazy smirk, hands behind his head, letting you use him while he flexes just right. “you look so pretty losing it on my leg, sunshine.”

★ skaterboy!jimin who sometimes looks at you when you’re not paying attention like he’s about to write a goddamn love song. like you’re art. like you’re his favorite kind of disaster.

lulu speaks: uploading smut is so awkward like hey here are my insane & horny thoughts of a guy who doesn’t even exist????hope you enjoy?????

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📚 HIGH OFF YOU — PJM

IN WHICH: a certain nerd gets peer-pressured into taking an edible. then perfect little you comes along, vowing to be his caretaker for the night.

pairing: high!nerd!jimin x sober!popular!reader

warnings: mentions of edibles, weed. alcohol. houseparty. peer pressure (lighthearted edition). first time getting high. sober caretaker. fem!reader. you will want to read THIS for more context—highly recommended, not mandatory.

word count: 595

lulu speaks: this was impulsive and dumb but it’s here so i ask that you take very good care of it. he’s such a cutie??? also reader’s lowkey a baddie and i need her but anyways

the house is alive.

no—possessed, really. the music is too loud, the air too sticky, everyone looks like they’re in a troye sivan-induced trance.

and jimin?

jimin is vibrating and overstimulated beyond belief. he’s about a breath away from passing out on the couch.

he didn’t even really mean to take the edible.

it just sort of…happened—passed into his hand by some senior jock while taehyung yelled “DON’T BE LAME!” in the distance, and jungkook made direct eye contact and said, “YOLO.”

(which…was weirdly persuasive.)

so, here he is.

halfway into orbit. melting into the peeled leather couch. alone.

until you appear.

“jimin?”

your voice cuts through the bass like magic. a bright, perfect sound that makes him peek up—and oh god, it’s you. it’s really you.

he pushes his foggy glasses back up after having slid down the entire bridge of his nose.

your tiny black dress glints under the strobe lights. your hair brushes your shoulders. your brows are furrowed in genuine concern.

he sits up straighter. (well, tries.)

“did someone seriously give you an edible?” you question, crouching next to him like some righteous angel. “what the hell is wrong with them? you look like you’re seeing stars.”

“i am seeing stars,” he mumbles, dreamily.

you sigh, loud and dramatic. “who gave it to you?”

he points vaguely in the direction of the jocks.

you stand. hands on hips. eyes full of fury.

and jimin—bless his dumb little stoned heart—just watches you absolutely chew out three upperclassmen, and suddenly he’s not sure if the room is spinning from the edible or from the sight of you calling people out on his behalf.

by the time you come back, cheeks flushed and eyes sharp, he’s smiling like a drunk puppy.

“you’re scary,” he tells you with wide eyes.

“you’re lucky i found you,” you shoot back. “come on.”

“huh?”

“come with me, genius. i’m not letting you out of my sight.”

you don’t give him time to argue. just thread your fingers around his wrist and tug him up gently, guiding him through the chaos. he stumbles a bit, leans into your shoulder once or twice, and you…let him.

and from that point on, you stick to him like glue.

you sit next to him on the floor during some game of king’s cup. get him water. shoo away the girl who tried to give him a drink. wrap a blanket around his shoulders when he says he’s cold. take a video of him explaining the plot of finding nemo with red eyes and reconciles animated hand gestures. you smile every time he smiles.

and jimin—still floating, still warm—just watches you with big, dazed eyes, a stupid smile on his face, and one constant thought looping in his brain:

she’s so pretty.

she’s so nice to me.

i would give her the moon if she asked.

is that painting talking to me?

later, as the party winds down and you’re helping him sit on the pool coping, he blurts, “you smell like smirnoff.”

you pause. look at him. laugh—really laugh.

“and you smell like doritos.”

he doesn’t even care. he just giggles.

and when you give him that look—that sweet, curious, affectionate little look like you’ve never seen anyone quite like him before—he swears his brain melts into mush right then and there.

the sound of the pool water trickling into the skimmer is suddenly a few decibels louder, the muffled booming of something ke$ha seemingly more distant.

a smile creeps its way onto your face. his eyes literally form hearts.

he’s never taking an edible again.

lulu speaks pt2: me if there were awards for most rushed endings: 🥇🏆🏅🎖️BEWARE!! the cai bot tagged below does NOT follow this prompt/scenario.

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HEY SO WHAT. WHAT. WHAT!?!!?!, WJAT WAHT WHAT WHAT WHAT

you’ve unlocked a new obsession within me (knight jimin)

he can come unlock this p— WHO SAID THAT

I JUST GOT THE SAME THING

GET THE FUCK OFF MY PAGEE

⚔️ IN ARMOR, ENAMORED — PJM

REQUEST: “no plssss my heart hurts for him, i wanna see knight jimin's reaction when she finally says that he IS the prince for her. HER PRINCE IN SHINING ARMOR ASDFGHJKL😭😭😭”

pairing: knight!jimin x princess!reader

warnings: crazy yearning, he’s down BADD. you will want to read THIS to get a bit more context—highly recommended, not needed.

word count: 768

lulu speaks: so this is super unrealistic. if ur a history guy dont come for me bc this is NAWT how it would’ve gone down. anyways this is an anon request, here u go queenie heehee.

the night’s air is thick with woodsmoke, curling through the palace corridors. the highly-mounted torches flicker against marble columns, casting warm light across your silk gown as your footsteps echo, quick and certain, down the eastern wing.

you know where to find him.

he keeps to silence when he’s not by your side. he sharpens his blade where the guards cannot see his trembling hands. and tonight, he’s there again. alone in the armory, his tunic unlaced at the throat, chest rising and falling with the fury of restraint.

you stop in the doorway. he doesn’t hear you at first.

his back is facing you, one hand gripping the table, the other clenching around the hilt of his sword. the torchlight casts a glow along the ridges of his shoulders, the curve of his jaw, the sweat at the nape of his neck. you watch him breathe.

you take a step forward.

he startles when he sees you.

“y-your highness—thou shouldst not be here—” he says, voice caught between panic and awe, already dropping to one knee. “forgive me, if I have offended—if i have looked upon thee too long—”

“sir jimin,” you whisper.

his head lifts tantalizingly slowly. he doesn’t dare rise, not without your command.

you approach slowly, step by step, until your slipper brushes the tip of his heavy boot. his breath stutters.

you reach down gently and lift his chin with your fingers.

his lips part.

his eyes are windows to his soul, to everything he’s buried. his love. his longing. the desperation he’s fought to keep buried after swearing loyalty to the crown.

“there is no prince in all the kingdoms of the realm,” you murmur, “who could ever be more noble, more loyal, or more breathtaking than thou art, jimin.”

his hands twitch on his thighs. his adam’s apple bobs.

“you are the man i would choose,” you whisper softly, “even if the crown forbade it. even if the monarchy burned for it.”

he finally rises, but only to take one faltering step back. his hand flies to his chest, as if grasping to hold in the ache.

“my lady… thou speakest with mercy, but i am no man fit for thy hand,” he stammers. “i am thy shield. thy sword. i am not permitted to want—”

you reach for him.

he lets you touch him—your fingers curling over his cheek, following the corner of his trembling mouth.

“but I want thee,” you say. “i want no crown without thee beside me.”

his eyes flutter. the silence is thick with tension, with tears of yearning laced behind it. you see his lips move before they open again, voice hoarse with disbelief.

“say it again,” he whispers. “please… i beg. let me hear it once more.”

“i want thee, i need thee,” you repeat, firmer now. “if it takes running from this castle and leaving behind the very throne waiting to hold my weight, i shall do so. but that is unecessary.”

you swear you see his eyes flicker with desperation.

“because I’ve spoken to my father. he will not deny us.” a beat. “we are free to wed.”

he stares at you like he’s dreaming. his eyes are low and dopey, the usually steady beat of his heart falters. his palms are sweat wider than ever before, his chest heaving with heavy breaths despite his throat empty of words.

then—he falls. literally falls. to his knees again, this time with a choked cry, burying his face against your waist, his arms around you like he’s clinging to salvation. his nose nuzzles into your abdomen, eyes shut like he can’t quite grasp the fact that he’s living this moment.

“my angel,” he breathes, pressing a kiss over your stomach, your hip, your wrist. “my beloved… i have wanted thee from the first moment i beheld thy face. i have stumbled in silence for so long—”

your fingers weave through his hair.

“then be silent no more.”

when he looks up again, his eyes are wet with tears and twinkling like stars.

“command me,” he whispers. “to love thee, to worship thee, to be thine husband—and i shall obey for the rest of my days.”

even in his most vulnerable moment of desperation, he wishes nothing more than to follow the orders of the crown.

and when he kisses you at last—it’s not rebellious. it’s not wrong.

it’s beautfiul. it’s exactly what he was destined for.

and at that moment, it felt like the heavens themselves had been waiting for this moment to breathe life into his lungs.

at that moment, he was alive.

lulu speaks pt2: YAYYY I HOPE THIS IS OK. also...i had to consult my sister to make sure i was using the correct old english pronouns…that was an interesting conversation LMFAO the things i do for y’all 🤬 i love it tho heeehe

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no plssss my heart hurts for him, i wanna see knight jimin's reaction when she finally says that he IS the prince for her. HER PRINCE IN SHINING ARMOR ASDFGHJKL😭😭😭

*choked sobs* I KNOWWWW KNIGHT!JIMIN MY BABYYYY ☹️☹️

guess what my next post is gonna be 🌝 no really, take a guess…

ho is this nerd!jimin

hottest thing a guy can be is a simp. just. a loser. a spineless fool. a total wet wipe of a man.

🥃 BOOTLEGGER!NAMJOON HEADCANNONS

warnings: 1920s au. illegal alcohol smuggling. prohibition-era. bootlegger!namjoon x mayor’sdaughter!reader. run-ins with the law. making out.

lulu speaks: HELP IDK WHAT POSSESED ME TO MAKE A 1920S AU BUT THIS HAS BEEN IN MY DRAFTS FOR SUCH A LONG TIME. also YUM tf

𖦹 bootlegger!namjoon who is trying to run an alcohol smuggling empire but keeps getting distracted by the mayor’s daughter in silk stockings and draped with pearls.

𖦹 bootlegger!namjoon who knew exactly who you were the second you walked into his speakeasy in fur and heels like you owned the joint. he should’ve tossed you out. instead, he poured you a drink himself and said, “this isn’t your scene, sweetheart.”

𖦹 bootlegger!namjoon who wears perfectly tailored suits but always with a slightly loosened tie, like he’s one bad decision away from trouble.

𖦹 bootlegger!namjoon who doesn’t drink much, but when he does, it’s either neat bourbon or bathtub gin from his own stash. he says he prefers to keep his head clear. but there’s always a glass poured just in case he needs to think real hard about something.

𖦹 bootlegger!namjoon who keeps a revolver under his desk, a knife in his boot, and a rosary in his jacket. only one of them is for protection. guesswhich.

𖦹 bootlegger!namjoon who has a cat. a quiet gray tabby that showed up outside the speakeasy one rainy night. now it lives in his office and sleeps on paperwork. he pretends he doesn’t like it.

𖦹 bootlegger!namjoon who pretends you’re a nuisance. you pretend you don’t like how he holds your waist when he pulls you behind closed doors.

𖦹 bootlegger!namjoon who murmurs “we shouldn’t do this” right before kissing you against brick walls in alleyways while jazz music slips through cracked speakeasy doors.

𖦹 bootlegger!namjoon who has a soft spot for music. he pays jazz musicians double to play at his place because he says, “good music keeps the cops away. nobody wants to raid a joint that sounds like heaven.”

𖦹 bootlegger!namjoon who teaches you how to shoot at an abandoned train yard. you accidentally hit the bottle on the first try. he’s never been so turned on.

𖦹 bootlegger!namjoon who calls you “doll” with that crooked, dangerous smile that ruins you every time.

𖦹 bootlegger!namjoon who gets arrested once. then you bribed the sheriff with a diamond bracelet to get him out.

𖦹 bootlegger!namjoon who knows the law better than most. that’s how he stays ahead. loopholes. technicalities. bribes. he doesn’t run from the law—he bends it until it snaps in his favor.

𖦹 bootlegger!namjoon who never kisses you in front of his men—but when you’re alone? his hands are all over you. like he’s scared you’ll disappear with the sunrise.

𖦹 bootlegger!namjoon who is the kind of man to crack a man’s jaw in a warehouse, then calmly light a cigar and slide into a gala with his hair perfectly slicked back. no one suspects a thing—except you, because you know exactly what kind of man he is.

𖦹 bootlegger!namjoon who keeps a bottle of your favorite wine stashed under the bar—the real kind, not bathtub gin—because you’re the only one he wants to impress.

𖦹 bootlegger!namjoon who feels his jaw tic every time you walk in with some preppy trust fund boy. he’ll stay silent, but ten minutes later, your date gets “politely” escorted out by one of joon’s guys for “violating house rules.” and no, you’re not allowed to ask what rule.

𖦹 bootlegger!namjoon who once broke a man’s nose for touching your waist too long during a slow dance. you weren’t even dating. the guy said something slick, and namjoon just appeared out of nowhere. he said, “apologize.” the man didn’t. he bled on the floor. namjoon went right back to nursing his drink like nothing happened.

𖦹 bootlegger!namjoon who plans for a future where you’re gone, married off, safe and distant. but then you show up at his place in the middle of the night, soaking wet and grinning like sin, and he forgets every single good intention he ever had.

lulu speaks pt 2: *taps mic* *feedback* hey y’all…idk wtf i just did but…i did it.

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well no it’s actually not funny anymore thanks for asking.

BTS Monuments S01E04 - Namjoon

⚔️ KNIGHT!JIMIN HEADCANNONS

warnings: yearning and pining. knight!jimin x princess!reader. if ur heartstrings aren’t tugging, i haven’t done my job.

lulu speaks: request by @rosequartzz77 !! i actually had a namjoon ver. of this in my drafts as well as a cai bot on my page soooo !! check that out if you’d like.

☾ knight!jimin who drops to one knee and bows his head every time he addresses you, even when you beg him not to be so formal.

☾ knight!jimin who always stands just a little too close, hand on the hilt of his sword, eyes scanning the crowd like he’d fight off an army for you.

☾ knight!jimin who calls you “your highness,” but it burns on his tongue—because he wants to say your name like a lover would.

☾ knight!jimin who bowed so deeply his forehead nearly touched your slipper the day he was appointed your guard. you gently told him to rise—and when his eyes met yours, it was the first time he ever forgot to breathe in full armor. he swore loyalty to the crown, but it was you he meant in his heart.

☾ knight!jimin who sharpens his sword when suitors arrive. you’ll hear the angry thrashing of steel against stone echoing through the ballroom form a nearby armory.

☾ knight!jimin who secretly teaches you how to wield a dagger just in case he isn’t there to protect you someday.

☾ knight!jimin who refuses to leave your side when you’re ill. not for food, not for sleep, not for orders. when you wake, pale and weak, he kisses your hand softly while you pretend to still be asleep.

☾ knight!jimin who turns away when you undress for a royal fitting, face red and jaw tight, even though your lady-in-waiting assures him it’s routine. he simply says, voice low and strained, “i dare not look upon her in such state. ’tis not mine right.”

☾ knight!jimin who would carry you through mud, over rivers, into fire—without hesitation. when your carriage breaks, and you jokingly say “well, someone must carry me,” he doesn’t laugh. he simply lifts you in his arms, voice low: “as thou commandest, my princess.”

☾ knight!jimin who steps in front of a lord’s outstretched hand when the man tries to touch your waist. the man scoffs, “i meant no offense.” and jimin bows, cold and sharp, eyes hard: “and yet, offense was taken. her highness is not to be touched without leave.”

☾ knight!jimin who sees you in a gown stitched in gold. that night, he dreams of unlacing it—only to wake before his lips ever reach your skin.

☾ knight!jimin who walks a step behind you in the gardens, carrying your cloak, your books, a flower he picked just in case you liked the color.

☾ knight!jimin who falls asleep seated at your bedside when you’re unwell, fingers curled loosely around yours on top of the covers, armor long since abandoned.

☾ knight!jimin who trains beside the royal pond, shirt discarded, hoping you’ll pass by and notice—but never bold enough to call you over.

☾ knight!jimin who when you’re away for a week, his bed remains untouched. he trains until his knees give out, collapses in armor, dreams of the way your fingertips grazed his cheek months ago.

☾ knight!jimin who would give you everything. his sword. his life. his soul. but the one thing he won’t take—unless you command him to—is your heart. because he still believes a princess deserves a prince, not a guard’s love.

lulu speaks pt2: um HI I LOVE HIM. REQUESTS ARE OPEN AND WELCOMED 😌

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