Shout Out To The USA For Pissing Canadians Off So Bad It Flipped An Entire Election That Was Supposed

To be honest I need a fic where Phoenix is replaced with feenie and everyone he knows learns his lore of eating glass and being so down bad for miles that he starts to switch to law for the first time.

I need that almost as much as I need a fic where Miles edgeworth intimidates the shit out of Apollo and Athena until there’s an earthquake or something, and they learn how similar they really are. (I like to think that Edgeworth’s trial was sealed from the public for that one because we all know Apollo is a Phoenix fan boy and he would know about that if it wasn’t)

Phoenix wright being phoenix wright yknow.

"he would not fucking say that" but about injuries. he would not fucking recover that quickly. those scars would not fucking heal like that. he would not be fucking able bodied after that. he would not be fully lucid after that.

Ahahaha not me looking at other fanfics characterization and sweating while trying to remind my frail ego that I’m doing this because I was bored and it’s fun, and some people actually just happened to like it.

This is the best explanation I could come up with for why it takes me so long to do updates sometimes when, at other times, I’m typing them up like clockwork.

Okay, as an American studying to become a botanist I’m about to fire shots in every direction. None of you are safe, not even myself, but there are things about this post that have pissed me off to the point of righteous anger.

American chestnut is functionally extinct yes, except for a few remaining colonies, however, that’s not because of most Americans, just as you, previous person, said your issues are not because of most of the British- as Americans relied on chestnuts as a cultural symbol and a food source as they taste arguably better (or so I’m told) than the European chestnuts that were exported to us carrying chestnut blight that killed our chestnuts. Those same stumps ARE STILL TRYING TO SEND OUT SUCKERS, and are STILL DYING BECAUSE OF AN INTRODUCED BLIGHT BY EUROPEAN NEGLIGENCE.

I understand you’re mad at the lack of education on our side, I am as well- the American education system FAILS at teaching botany on a MULTITUDE of ENORMOUS levels, and you and I both know that plant life is the basis of an ecosystem, but don’t you dare think that this means I’m not infuriated by the same from you- I am. I KNOW FOR A FACT that Europe is no better in its failure to find value in botanical studies, and I’m still pissed about it, but I’ve at least seen a few papers about the subject and written a few essays myself, and at least Europe isn’t the near-dead-static radio silence about botany the way America seems to be. But at least know that this is a two way street, and don’t deflect about that shortcoming when we’re both at fault.

The prairies??? That was misguided science and capitalism instilling laziness. We had rules and laws about rewilding areas post mining expeditions and construction, but those were ignored by greedy corps who figured slapping some trees on an area that didn’t have trees before would solve their problem. And the people in charge weren’t ecologists, but government officials who heard in school that trees give us oxygen and are therefore better than grass, and so with being slid a little extra cash, shrugged their shoulders about it and turned a blind eye to the issue because “well it’s just trees” and BOY, AM I MAD ABOUT THAT TOO, but being MAD, and BEING ABLE TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT are two very different ball parks, babe.

Then there was climate crisis attention in the nineties, and although the intentions of the campaigns were pure-hearted, they were misleading in the idea that planting trees Willy-nilly would solve our problems, and while yes, trees are larger organisms that need more co2 to grow to max size, and therefore absorb more carbon, not all trees are created equal, and while some non-natives might absorb more CO2 or do better in certain regions, more of the people supplying and planting those invasive trees have no ability, much less a concept of even recognizing the potential for something to become invasive. Another failure of our shitty education system, but we already know it’s shit, so that’s besides the point.

The grasses and monocultures of lawns we have are a direct spawn of English colonialism. Lawns were managed by slaves and considered a sign of wealth- and non-natural ornamental landscapes were seen as a sign of knowledge and skill to tend.

American pioneers and natives didn’t give two shits about those things, and though we aren’t blameless for the slew of invasive ravaging our ecosystems, Britain is no saint in this either. Y’all have a government that fears and respects Its people and their voices; do not squander your opportunity, when here in America, trying to get through to a politician bought out by lobbyists to get off their asses and do something is clearly MUCH HARDER than you all seem to think it is because capitalism is unchecked over here.

You have the science. You have the opportunity. Fight the status quo and take a risk while you have a chance to. Right your wrongs. There’s no excuse to not. At least we make an effort and fight, even though every step forward feels like a step backwards because politicians and public figures here usually have their pockets and offices lined so thick with wads of cash they can’t seem to hear us screaming in the streets. So many organizations out here are all desperately scrounging for donations and support individually to step up where our governing bodies ran like cowardly father figures going out for milk and cigarettes and then simply ignoring the issues we’ve being screeching about like it’s not something young people are mad about on the daily. Also, you lost lynxes??? Reintroduce them. Yes you’re on an island, that doesn’t stop animals, and it hasn’t before. They will adapt so long as you let them. You can fix the damage that’s been done, all it takes is effort and time, and a willingness to take a chance to make a change.

Moreover. You ALSO EAT THOSE STOLEN CROPS.

TOMATOES. CORN. SQUASH. BEANS. TOMATILLOS.

YOU EAT THOSE TOO!

And what about the Cinnamon? The Mace? The nutmeg? The British stole those from the people of India. The tea you’ve monopolized as your own? That’s from China and Japan. You don’t even drink it right. You’re suppose to pour out the first steep according to Chinese tea practices. And they sold it for far cheaper to the British at the time. The wheat? Grains? Ethiopia, that’s from the Fertile Crescent. Your very bread is made of a stolen crop.

Your fruits? All of it, stolen. The Mediterranean originally grew mint, oregano, rosemary, olives, and cabbage.

Do you indulge in chocolate? That was stolen by your Spanish neighbors from the Aztecs and Mayans darling. Chewing gum too.

We didn’t even steal half the crops we grow, imperialism did, so don’t even start there. Many of the natives crops are viable solutions to local food, but guess what? WE DONT FREAKING USE THEM!

You wanna get mad at us for something? Get mad that we don’t use acorn and coontie flour instead of wheat. Get mad that we don’t use elderberries and American cherries in jams as much as we should. Get mad that we haven’t cultivated the pawpaw or Florida plum as much as we should. Get mad that we don’t use sumac, or Kentucky coffee. Get mad that blueberries and cranberries aren’t a main staple in our diets, and because of capitalism-caused food deserts and absurd prices. Get mad that we don’t eat local meats, but farm instead of forage when there’s so much we could be eating to cut back on our waste, but we don’t because humans are prissy and don’t want to put the effort into making things taste good by selective breeding like we did when we were nomadic and still figuring out agriculture. Get mad that we could be eating our way through our kudzu problem in the south, but we aren’t because it’s just not something we do culturally.

Get mad about the things we can be faulted for, because at least we can actually try and control those.

The moral of the story here is we should be fucking mad at the GREED OF THE FEW. At the end of the day, that’s what’s caused us the most problems isn’t it? Instead we sit here and we bicker about who’s worse, instead of making each other better. Like you said, let’s not throw stones at each other from our stupid glass houses, and burn down the people who are actually responsible and have the means to do something but instead choose to do nothing.

Actually your society is the freaks for shooting everything that moves and burning half your "nature reserves" every year so that upperclass dandies can eat leaded pheasant. North Americans are the well adjusted ones here, your country has become a desolate suburban lawn in island form

Okay dump time:

So obviously, as in my previous post miles is an Oread and Phoenix is a fire spirit/elemental. Here’s what I would assign the rest of the cast:

The fey family: quite conflicted here, I don’t think their speciation is all the same because you know, different fathers n stuff. But the bottom line is: if they could channel in the games, or were actively a part of the clan, they are at least part witch/magic users. They occupy a role as heralds and enforcers between the spirits of the dead and the living. I decided that in this AU;

-Mia and Maya are half-elves because of course.

-I think Pearl is half nereid, because to me that makes sense for her.

-Dahlia and Iris were half-kitsunes, both with very different outlooks on life and definitions of “mischief”. Iris’ magic wasn’t nearly as strong as Dalia’s though.

-Morgan and Misty were regular human magic users. (The fey clan only recently started to approve of interspecies marriages as human population in their village was steadily declining)

The Fey clan was frequently sought out to treat magic-related ailments until recent modern medicine came about.

Everyone else:

-Gumshoe is absolutely a werewolf. He big. He clumsy. He goofy. He an awkward big dog man.

- Larry, because he’s always chasing after a pretty face, is a satyr.

-Kay: She is so a Fae. The fae mischief energy is strong with this one.

-the Von Karmas: they’re both demons, but demons of different cardinal sins. Manfred was a demon of pride, Franziska is a demon of wrath. Miles doesn’t care for his title as demon prosecutor because a: the press just assumed he was a demon by association and while he likes to feel connected to the Von karmas early in his career, he feels like he’s also lost that connection to his dad. That makes him feel guilty. Because B: when Franziska comes on to the legal scene it just makes shit confusing. What would they call them both? “The demon prosecutor” and “the ACTUAL demon prosecutor”? Moreover, when people found out she used a whip and immediately started calling her a “succubus dominatrix” (considered insulting to female demons who aren’t actually succubi) in the news? Miles bout near lost his shit that’s his little sister bro. Also being a demon doesn’t make someone inherently evil, and the press demonized Miles through that nickname. Imagine. You’re hated and called mean things for something you’re literally not. This is why Miles prefers his more “standard” form these days. He looks less like a weird demon and more like an oread, which he is.

-Trucy and Apollo: Aurorae, or wind nymphs. They take after their mom in that regard. Wind nymphs can fly and turn themselves into wind and reappear elsewhere. They’re extremely light beings. They do have wings to reflect birds and other sky dwelling creatures. Apollo I chose to be one because of the myth of Echo, I just imagine he’s like the wind of a hurricane, just so fucking loud and forceful without realizing it. Trucy more because her ability to disappear and reappear makes her excellent at magic tricks and deception. Also they’re hypersensitive to air movements and slight electrical charges, which is how perceive works for them.

-Athena: I wanted to make her a Raiju at first (lighting yokai) but those usually take the forms of dogs, so I figure maybe she’s a venti (Roman storm spirit). She’s sensitive to electrical fields, even more so than Apollo and Trucy, and as a result can not only hear peoples emotions with a heightened sense of hearing (she hears the charge and nature of the electrical fields) , she can sense them quite accurately too. Venti in some myths can take the shape of horses or storm clouds, but I think she’s just very electrically charged, and can summon or control small storms or electricity. (On top of the aforementioned powers). She’s also quite loud too, but not as consistently loud as Apollo is.

-Blackquill: this motherfucker is an Oni. What else do you want from me? He acts like a samurai haunted by some terrible misdeeds even after he’s proven innocent. He’s an Oni. 100% an Oni.

-Maggie Byrde: she’s a harpy. She has the lower half of a bird and wings. She’s a very clumsy flier.

-Will powers: Giant/jotunn. He’s a big lad. Gentle giant, anyone?

-Dee Vasquez: oh she’s SO a Gorgon. The headscarf thing? The femme fatale allure? Dark and mysterious? Gorgon. Absolutely a gorgon. She’d rock a pair of black aviators too.

-Lana and Emma skye: sphinxes. Lana being the kind to dish out riddles and justice, Emma being a bubbly cub until later when she becomes bitter and sardonic.

-The Judge: he’s a centaur. An old ass centaur. Some of them are supposedly wise, he’s just bad at his job.

-The Gavin brothers: Sirens. They have gills, claws, webbed hands, scales, etc. they also can shift into an aquatic form with a tail, and have alluring voices they can use for charm magic. Klavier uses his for musical talent, Kristoph uses his for manipulation. (So surprising, that.)

-Sebby: he’s a water elemental. He’s so turbulent, it reminds me of swirling water. He’s made of water, can control water, has an elemental core like Phoenix does, and hydration is extremely important for him or he will dry out and that’s no bueno. Overheating is also a serious problem because he could boil himself alive, or freeze himself solid if he’s too upset. His dad hates him for his delicate chemistry. (I still want to ring Blaise’s neck, can’t you tell?)

-Damon Gant and Tigre furrio are both malicious imps.

-Cody hackins is a kappa (mischievous Japanese water spirit with a turtle shell).

-Matt engarde is so a bitchy asshole vampire. Get staked through the heart, loser.

I’ll probably add more as I think of them.

But this is what I’ve got for now!

(Sorry this took so damn long, I fell asleep the first round of writing and then of course got busy with other things in between.)

Gimme fantasy au info in exchange for my fantasy/siren au infodump

FUCK YEAH SAY LESS

Yknow you really don’t know how much your mental health impacts your physical health until you start seeing it fall apart under serious mental strain.

Just noticed the gums on a few of my teeth receding- like I’m pretty sure the bone is exposed (I’ve always had like, really little gum and giant ass teeth, part of why I do my best to take care of them), which doesn’t make sense because I kinda obsess over brushing and cleaning in-between them whenever I can remember to take time for myself (pretty much every morning and most nights because thank you ADHD and depression you really don’t need to get worse after a long day, but for some reason you do, but I do my best to maintain healthy habits so I don’t experience long term consequences from y’all’s shit, so suck my dick)

I don’t have cavities- haven’t in years, and my gums normally don’t bleed much if at all, but I guess I didn’t pay attention to my spit until this morning cause it was bloody as hell. So I took a look. And one of my lower teeth is just. The gum used to be there not long ago. It’s not there now!

So I panicked. Obviously. I spent too much money fixing my shit teeth genetics so that I could smile without breaking mirrors and I DID NOT go through hell with mouth devices in middle school to have my bottom teeth fall out under mysterious circumstances.

So I did a quick little read up on it online. Apparently stress is REALLY BAD for your gums. And teeth. And the bone surrounding your teeth. It can make you prone to infections and periodontitis, if not make you more vulnerable to developing it.

And for several months I have been under, like, some of the most SEVERE stress of my life ever because thank you shitty chemistry teacher and thank you gifted student complex that makes me judge my self worth through my grade point average, you’re both bastards and I hate you both for this.

My diet hasn’t changed too much, I’m too broke to be eating absurd amounts of junk food when my mom still insists on cooking for me. And my home-cooked meals still include vegetables and starches and meats, so pretty wholesome meals all in all. My oral hygiene, while sometimes spotty because mental health, hasn’t been consistently neglectful because I recently decided I wanted my teeth to not be stained Brit yellow as a tea drinker, so I bought an expensive whitening tooth paste (with fluoride of course), and in order for it to work and continue working I need to brush consistently obviously, so that’s been motivating me to brush and I’ve seen it help. My gums are a healthy pale pink, not bloody red or swollen.

I even have one of those pick and mirror kits you can buy at the store that I use to check my teeth out and for missed or suspicious spots. Listen, ok, I had one of those telescoping rods installed in my mouth in middle school, a power chain, wedges, and rubber bands. My mouth was torn to fucking hell to fix my teeth and not have them fall out because they were fighting for space (because they were massive and I also had to have them shaved down just to fit in my mouth. By like a lot. A lot a lot). And I’m not doing that shit ever again. Like NEVER EVER. I had a permanent retainer installed on my lower teeth (haven’t broken it yet) and I wear my upper retainer at least once a week (again forgetfulness is worse when I’m exhausted and I wear it at night. Still trying to build that healthy habit, and it still fits even if a little snug sometimes. It’s still Better than never wearing it.)

But they’re receding on a few of my teeth and that’s a recent development because during my last dentist appointment my dentist said I was looking great, just to keep an eye on a potential problem area we’ve been watching over the years, but I’ve had no issues with it so far. That problem area WAS NOT my gums, or my gums attempting to evacuate existence. And I have had a little sensitivity to temperature but I assumed “well whitening toothpaste duh”. Now I’m starting to suspect it’s because my stress levels are causing my body to not function correctly and that’s affecting me physically. I’ve had more evidence for this theory but I’ve been dismissing it aside from this, including heart palpitations, trouble sleeping, a grey hair (I’m deadly serious unfortunately), stomach issues, menstrual irregularity even on BC, consistently elevated heart rate, and other issues. Mostly because honestly I don’t know of ways to manage this kind of stress in the context of adult life when nobody has time for themselves anymore between working and school.

This is the stuff people don’t talk about when it comes to stress. It’s always this intangible concept when talked about; but it’s not. It’s a physical manifestation and process in your body. You experience it, and it’s real even when you can’t feel or see it. And its impacts are really terrible for people’s health. But we don’t talk about those far reaching physical effects. We only talk about the emotional aspect of it, but it has an extremely physical impact on the body, and it can fucking kill you if not cause long-term harm.

I wish I knew how the fuck to make time for myself and fix this but I cannot manifest extra time for myself out of thin air, so I’ll just have to wait till things chill again and remember to do life at my own pace again.

Yeah

NOTICE: As more and more fanfic writers are using generative AI for their works (you uncreative dweebs), I hereby swear on everything I hold dear that I have not and will NEVER use generative AI in ANY of my written work. Everything I post will be organically and creatively my own.

I’ll repost the baby

M8, I would but I can’t even finish half my drawings, what help would I be my guy

my adhd brain has me literally unable to start a drawing bc i wanna draw a million things at once like. klapollo !!! kristoph !!! mia !!! emamaya !!! More Narumitsu !!!! simon !!!! nahyuta !!!! blackmadhi !!!!!! like i can draw them all but i don't know where to start and therefore my brain buffers like an ancient computer

Get that yaoi my man