My Perfect Mashed Potatoes

My perfect mashed potatoes

The secret is in the water; literally, it’s IN the water.

See, when you boil potatoes, a lot of special starches and sugars and stuff leeches out into the water. When you drain the water before mashing them, you throw away a lot of good stuff, which is a big part of what makes mashed potatoes “dry” and bland, even when you add large amounts of cream and butter and things.

So don’t throw out any water.

Here’s how you do that:

First, cut your potatoes into smaller cubes than you probably do. (I’ve left the skins on for flavor and also, that’s where a lot of a potato’s nutrients are, like protien and iron and vitamins B and C, just to name a few)

The reason for cutting them smaller (besides avoiding giant peices of skin) is so that there is less space in the pot between each peice for water to fill, so you use less water to cook them. That’s important because you won’t be draining any water, so you can’t afford to have too much water! For the same reason, just barely cover them with water when they go on the stove.

But! Before you do that, put the pot on the stove with some butter, garlic, and seasonings; let the butter start to sizxle just a little then put most of a single layer of potatoes in the pan and let the brown and sear. Turn them, brown them on all sides, get ‘em fairly dark (I forgot to get a pic here because I was worried I’d burn the butter).

Ready? now throw the rest of the potatoes in right on top, and add your water, give them a stir. This way, you’re boiling in some of that lovely fried potato/french fry flavor.

Okay, so, as they cook, you may need to add a little water, not too much! ideally the very highest piece of potato will be poking just above the surface. Now, when your potatoes are really really soft, mash them directly into the water. Just pull them off the stove, leave all the water in, and start mashing. Trust me. At first you’ll think there’s too much water. If you get them mashed and they ARE a little too liquidy, just put ‘em back on the stove. You’ll have to stir often or constantly, but they will steam off additional water without losing any good stuff.

Now add some salt, and taste. Right?! And you haven’t even put in any cream or cheese or anything yet.

Speaking of which, you can use like, a third of the amount of butter or cream or anything, and they will still taste better than usual. So they taste better AND they are higher in nutrients AND lower in fats and salts! That’s a lot of win — enjoy your potatoes!

Fuck Columbus! Indigenous Rights! And happy Thanksgiving!

Grinding whole spices is WORTH the cost and effort

Just wanted to remind folks that if flavor was color, pre-ground spices are pastels, and freshly-ground spices are vibrant fully-saturated jewel tones with an iridescent rainbow sheen.

I am not shilling, I will not link you to a brand or product.

But please, please put it on your future to-do list to acquire a ultra gritty (not smooth ceramic or glazed) spice grinder. Lava rock if you can. The mexican Molcajete works wonderfully. An electric grinder if you must.

Search for a local asian or latin supermarket for cheap whole spices in bulk. Per-Pound, whole spices in a baggie are almost always cheaper than pre-ground bottles.

I am begging you, knees on the ground and tears in my eyes, to please, just once, go buy a tiny amount of good-quality cinnamon bark.

It should be a lovely medium-brown color with a soft orange tint, not nearly black with age. It should look a little soft and crumbly around the cut edges. Look for the flat pieces, which haven't curled into rolls from dryness.

Grinding Whole Spices Is WORTH The Cost And Effort

Break a little piece off. Less than the size of your thumbnail. Crush or grind it however you can. Smash it with a hammer, make dust with sandpaper, however you want.

And stick it in your mouth.

A tiny amount of freshly ground cinnamon bark is heady, fruity, sweet, floral, and has a warm spice that breathes down your throat. You can chew on bits of the bark like candy, it's so sweet and good.

Pre-ground cinnamon tastes like bitter dust and betrayal by comparison.

The really old, dry as dust cinnamon sticks that look so dark brown they're nearly black... you can grind those up too, it'll improve the flavor, but it's about three steps behind the fresh stuff. Kingdoms fought wars over fresh cinnamon. Kings traded war prisoners for pounds of cinnamon, and I get it. I understand.

If you can afford it, if you want an earth-shaking treat, please consider: Whole Nutmegs, Good Cinnamon, Whole Cloves, and Whole Peppercorns.

And some method of grinding them.

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dontforgettheunderscore

1 year ago

My husband’s job primarily employs adult men but there is one (1) teenage girl and my husband said originally he worried she might be a bit of an outcast but instead every man on the crew was like “huh guess I am a dad/older brother now.”

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dontforgettheunderscore

6 months ago

Made the mistake of bringing up that needing glasses is a disability on tiktok and people got real mad.

“You can fix it with glasses” yeah, cuz they’re a disability aid? But like, I still have to pay 160 bucks to use my own fucking eyes?

Like, by definition, if your eyes do not work without aid, you have a disability to see.

Having a disability doesn’t automatically put you in what people consider the “disabled” category, but that doesn’t change the fact that it is in fact, a disability.

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dontforgettheunderscore

10 months ago

all i wanna do is eat nectarines and think about aurora borealis st. elmo’s fire gigantic jets ball lightning green flash earthquake lights and will-o-the-wisps

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dontforgettheunderscore

11 months ago

every time i see those posts like ‘what food from a show did YOU always wanna try’ i go lol none? but i just remembered im a liar