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Chain of Command Chapter 3

Though Yeongdeungpo was by no means a great neighbourhood- with its graffitied walls and copious amounts of street violence- Bambi was unable to get used to the crumbling walls and dirty streets that were distinct features of the area surrounding Hyeongshin.

The school itself seemed a little dingy, with shabby furniture and even shabbier students, so unlike Yeo-il’s pristine hallways and spotless floors. She eyed an overflowing trash can at the side of the corridor as she walked through, before turning away and sighing.

Whatever. She wasn’t a judgemental person. (She was).

She was headed to Hyeongshin’s meeting room, the usual meet up spot for when she came to do business with Forrest Lee. Despite the not-so-stellar quality of the school, she was in a good mood, as she always was when she was about to meet up with Forrest Lee, though it was a little dampened by the news she was about to deliver to him. It had something to do with business decreasing, which would’ve been fine if it was Ganghak, or Yoosun, or anybody with a reputation accumulated after a long time.

But for someone who just lost to another school and had their management changed in the short span that they were an executive (a position that they only gained through snitching on their ex leader), it would not have been the best thing to hear.

The boys from Hyeongshin were already losing part of their commissions, who knew what Donald would do if they continued to mess up? She frowned. Donald’s wrath was something she did not want to be on the receiving end of.

By now, she was nearly off the first floor, halfway up the staircase to the second storey where the meeting room was located, right at the end of the hallway. Though it wasn’t her school, she was well acquainted with Hyeongshin’s layout due to the numerous times she’d visited.

Like Yeo-il, there weren’t many students still lingering in the hallways, most having already left the school to go to karaoke or the pool hall, or perhaps even a cram school. (She snorted a little at the thought.) However, whatever little students were left identified her immediately and soon she had a small crowd of students whipping their heads towards her at breakneck speed, giving themselves a millisecond to gawk before directing their gazes to the ground, arms stiff by their sides.

In other parts of Yeongdeungpo, when people realised of her affiliation to the Union, they tended to stare and whisper amongst themselves.

But in Hyeongshin, when the boys saw her, or any other Union member, they all grew very silent and still, parting before her like Moses and the Red Sea. It seemed like Myles Joo had them trained well.

…

Before he left, of course.

She paid no mind to them, walking through the now cleared path (though there weren’t that many people in the way in the first place) and quickening her pace as she approached the meeting room, reaching for the handle.

Hyeongshin High’s meeting room, though smaller than a regular classroom, was spacious, with a long table on one side and two couches on the other. Though, officially, its purpose was to serve as a room where the student council would gather (and that was what it was used for, at least to the knowledge of the teachers) but the students of the school were all well aware of what it really was; the gathering area for the school head and his friends.

And there the school head was, sitting across the room quietly, frowning and presumably deep in thought.

“Hey,” Bambi tossed her bag onto the couch opposite Forrest Lee, making herself comfortable, before she noticed the unusual silence in the room and the absence of two certain someones. “Where’d they go?”

Forrest seemed to immediately know who she was referring to.

Robin Ha and Sam Lee (or better known as Grape) were Forrest’s second and third in command, though they seemed to be in disagreement about who was who. The two of them followed Forrest everywhere, and it felt strange when they were gone. Grape, who earned his nickname from his curly purple hair, was the shorter and more talkative one of the duo, with a cocky personality and an overt eagerness whenever it was time to get into a fight. Robin Ha, though less talkative than his friend, was by no means less sadistic or willing to punch somebody in the face.

“Hey. Robin went for a smoke, and Grape went to look for him.”

Forrest paused a little before he continued, and the look on his face told Bambi he was only expecting the absolute worst.

“So why’d you come down here today?”

She grimaced a little; it was too bad that she was going to have to validate his fears.

“It involves KHG industries.”

“Hyeongshin’s uniform sales have dipped after your loss to Eunjang. It’s not so bad for Yoosun, since Jimmy Bae’s in charge, but you haven’t been school head for long so…”

She studied his face, and when he stayed silent, she continued.

“Anyways, just get your boys to beat a bunch of guys up, or whatever. The method doesn’t really matter, as long as Donald doesn’t lose his commission.” Bambi pursed her lips; she usually never had trouble relaying instructions, but watching Forrest Lee’s cressfallenness made her feel a little guilty. “It’s better for all of us anyways, for sales to be high.”

Her attempt to lighten the tone didn’t seem to work very well, as Forrest continued to stare down at the table in front of him, his eyes never meeting hers. There was a grim yet pensive look on his face, like he was slowly processing the information.

After a moment, he finally responded.

“Yeah, okay.”

Bambi raised an eyebrow.

She’d been around Forrest long enough to put a name to each of his mannerisms, and the tone of voice he was currently talking with was the one he used when he was down- dejectedness badly disguised as impassiveness.

Usually he was brimming with confidence, making small talk and laughing with her, the large smirk on his face one of someone who knew he had power. But today it was different. She thought back to the events of the last Union assembly, sighing inwardly as she observed his downcast form.

She didn’t have to guess to know why.

“Has Ganghak come over to collect the files yet?” She inquired, neither addressing nor ignoring the elephant in the room, choosing to awkwardly skirt around it instead.

“Robin offered to pass them to Wolf, but I’m not sure if he’s arrived yet. I’ll check later.” Forrest’s grim look seemed to worsen at the thought of Ganghak’s leader.

“Okay.”

To be fair, who could really blame Forrest for being disheartened? Bambi certainly didn’t, but she was never really good at situations like this; she was more used to just saying something snarky and leaving.

She directed her gaze back to Forrest Lee, who was now staring at the wall behind her. His eyes were narrowed, like he was contemplating something, and she sighed again, out loud this time.

“Look, man.”

Forrest finally directed his gaze towards her, seemingly apprehensive about what she was going to say.

“I don’t like this new shift in management either. But if you and Jimmy Bae handled the situation with Eunjang better, this wouldn’t’ve happened. Not to mention what happened with Myles…”

Forrest Lee flinched, and for a split second both of them recalled the events that came before Myles Joo’s excommunication.

Bambi had already been suspicious of Myles after his show of displeasure at being demoted after Jake Ji’s arrival; his obvious anger at Jake and Donald Na, and even his hostility towards her and hesitation to follow orders, which had never been a problem before. She had the observers planted around Yeongdeungpo to report to her if Myles Joo was caught acting out, before Forrest Lee came to her all of a sudden with evidence that Myles was betraying the Union.

She narrowed her eyes.

She was pretty new to the Union too at that point of time, so Forrest’s information had definitely helped her in gaining Donald’s trust. Perhaps it was considered cowardly, or disloyal, to go behind your leader’s back to rat him out, but so what? The Union benefited from disloyalty.

If the boys were just going to sit by as their leader plotted a coup, it could end up leading to the downfall of the Union. And she couldn’t let that happen, could she?

“But I guess I can’t complain, since it was beneficial for me, too.” She finished, and Forrest nodded quietly. He seemed relieved that she hadn’t drawn the topic out any longer. Nobody wanted to think about the punishment that Donald had bestowed upon Myles, and the betrayal that had led to it.

“I’m gonna go now. Don’t forget to make sure the files are handed off to Ganghak. See you.”

“Later.”

She caught a glimpse of his face as the door slammed; his expression had shifted into something steely, like the gears in his head were slowly turning.

The sky outside had turned a dark blue while she was in the meeting room. She made her way down the stairs and out of the school gate. Though the school was empty by now, the streets were busy, cars rushing past her in a stream of colour.

She stood there for a moment, idly watching the traffic before a loud roar came from behind, forcing her to jump to the side as a group of motorbikes sped past her.

(God, she fucking hated motorcycles. Every goddamn Union assembly was full of them, leaking exhaust and polluting the air.)

Bambi glared at the bikers, her eyes catching sight of their red blazers and gray slacks. Could it be?  Her eyes narrowed in on the boy at the front of the group, his messy purple hair slowly becoming less visible as he sped away into the distance, turning a bend and disappearing. She grimaced.

Seems like Ganghak did come over to make a pick up after all.

i love him so much😭

tHIS MAN

i love you seaweed i love you sea i love you weed

"B-but Palestinians can get their freedom with peace not violence 🥺🥺" no. Screw your feelings. The armed resistance against colonizers and murderers is what will give Palestinians their freedom and what will eventually achieve real peace.

An enemy that bombs and uses white phosphorus against civilians doesn't know nor practice what your broken moral compass describes as "peace". Freedom was proven throughout history not to be achieved through kneeling and asking the oppressor to kindly stop. Freedom needs to be taken by force. Your little Utopian way of thinking doesn't work in the real world. Your feelings don't matter because you're not the one living under occupation. Your feelings don't matter because you're not one of the thousands of children who lost their limbs. You're not one of the children who became orphans due to this genocide. You're not the mother who lost her child to the carpet bombing. You're not the father carrying the remains of your child in plastic bags. You're not the newlywed woman who lost her husband. You're not the one at risk of either getting killed any second or losing your loved ones in the blink of an eye!

"Peace" is not really a thing you see during a live ethnic cleansing!

‘Blocking traffic/public disruptions aren’t going to help your cause’ if that is so, why have there been larger and more numerous pro Palestine protests than ever before? Why is public knowledge on Palestinian oppression more prevalent now? Why do a majority of countries in the world call for a ceasefire? Why do a majority of the countries in the world call for Palestine’s recognition? And why is it that people who complain about disruptions not helping our cause have never supported us in the first place? I wonder.

god i love fallible characters, but specifically zuko in the catacombs. choosing his sister over his uncle just to get to sleep in his childhood bed again. earning katara's kindness and empathy and stripping it all away in minutes because he ached for the familiar. fighting on the wrong side of history just to see his father smile with pride. knowing he could have done the right thing, but what is being good when you could be terrible but loved.

Do y’all think siblings in medieval times would look at the little beasts in illuminated manuscripts and point at each other like ‘ha! ‘Tis thou!’

Bro i forgot i got like a pt. 2 of these fam

in short, think self diagnosis, after extensive research, is valid.

not everyone have access to medical professionals. not everyone have access to competent quality medical professionals. not everyone can afford. medical trauma & medical neglect exist. misdiagnosis exist. medical racism sexism misogyny. etc.

though. to add some nuance: (i am specifically addressing autism but probably applies to most self diagnosis)

1. sites like tiktok and tumblr provide important lived experience lens that hard to find any other place. often play huge part in journey! but tiktok and tumblr should not be only place you do research for self diagnosis.

further, watching one tiktok or one tumblr post is not enough for self diagnosis. know most people who self diagnose isn’t doing this, but do see some people do this.

2. there are late diagnosed autistic people with higher support needs. there are late diagnosed autistic people who are visibly developmentally disabled but their other I/DD diagnosis covered over their autism. etc.

having said that though. overwhelming majority of autistic who self diagnose who are late diagnosed. have lower support needs, are high masking, less visibly autistic. most of them lived their life in nondisabled neurotypical society, mainstreamed, go to typical school, get job, maybe job after job after job fired quit fired again—often forced to be this way, not given choice. which is all distressing. have grief about not being noticed as autistic earlier.

but. you need to know that there are early diagnosed autistic folks, some of them high support needs and/or nonspeaking minimally speaking, some of them who put in special ed, go to “special” schools, who have high support needs, who can’t or not allowed to live independently, who needs full physical assistance with bADLs, who can’t keep own basic safety, who will never able to hold typical job, etc etc… they are still autistic. just because you have trauma about being late diagnosed late identified doesn’t mean for them early diagnosis is a abuse free blessing.

early diagnosed, visibly developmentally disabled people like these often face the blunt of the violence. they are one of the most marginalized groups in our community.

some late diagnosed autistics hold privilege over some early diagnosed autistics. (note i say some—late diagnosis early diagnosis not monolith experiences.)

3. just because you are, say, autistic, doesn’t mean right this second you should be an autistic advocate, or right this second you’re qualified to. i believe all autistic people have important meaningful thing to say about own experience with autism. but being an advocate involves so much more than that.

being advocate involves constant learning, especially from people more marginalized than you and people not similar to you.

being advocate means constant self reflection, means reflect on own privilege and oppression, means reflect on own internalized ableism internalized racism, etc.

being advocate means learning to decenter self, learning how to hold space for others, learning how to apologize and take accountability.

being advocate means learning how to listen.

being advocate means learning how to take responsibility.

being an advocate means addressing own trauma and not project trauma onto others, especially other more marginalized groups.

being an advocate means acknowledging nuance.

newly realized autistics, newly self diagnosed autistics, newly professionally diagnosed autistics (who didn’t know they autistic before professional diagnosis), they all have important place in autistic community and autistic conversations. but being new to this means you have so much more to learn. and you need to learn how to do more good than harm when share own experience and do own advocacy.

4. there is a world of autism experiences beyond your own. listen to them, too.

with all that said. self diagnosis, after extensive research, is valid.

did you guys know that the mother fucking UN's humanitarian and legal experts have been saying israel's occupation of palestine territories is and has always been illegal, as it violates the FUCKING GENEVA CONVENTION? did you know it was britain that 'gave' the land that wasn't theirs to give to found the state of israel as a tactic to get more jews to join the british army in their already-active war against the ottoman empire? did you know that just between 2008 and 2022 the idf killed almost SEVEN THOUSAND palestinians, as opposed to the 308 israelis by palestinians in the same time period? did you know that israel itself admits to 'forcefully evacuating' palestinians from their homes over the course of their annexation of the country? did you know the british army helped them? did you know that any palestinian who didn't want to have their house taken from them and given to american immigrants being shipped in to populate britain's pet project was killed on their spot? did you know that back in 2018 palestinians did nothing but MARCH in protest of their occupation and in response, the idf is CONFIRMED to have killed almost 400 of them, including FIFTY FIVE CHILDREN? did you know palestinians are not allowed to build anything on the land they have left? did you know they aren't ALLOWED TO LEAVE?? did you know over HALF of christian evangelicals support israel solely because the bible says israel has to exist in order to bring about the second coming? did you know that in 2021, over 88% of us congress were evangelical christians? did you know israel is confirmed to have knowingly bombed palestinian hospitals and the idf had been caught targeting journalists? did you know israel is committing another war crime at this very moment by dropping white phosphorus on gaza civilians? did you know the israeli press was just confirmed to have completely fabricated an account of palestinian war crime right after their own got caught on film? did you know the defense minister of israel openly called all palestinians 'animals' to justify the deaths of their civilians? did you know holocaust survivors are presently speaking out against the israeli state's ethnic cleansing of arabs?

why, in the united states, is criticizing a settler colony's active attempts at extermination labeled antisemitic because of the religion the settlers happen to practice, but rooting for the complete eradication of a muslim country that was already there and is barely still there not islamophobia?? why is religion being used as a shield to justify genocide?

when a sudden act of politically charged violence occurs, like the hamas attack a few days ago, i ask WHY? i ask WHY until i get as far back as i can. i read accounts written by all sides. i try to find out why this is happening in the first place. half of these facts have come from the israeli government itself. all of them are easily found and easily confirmed by reputable sources. a lot of them are caught on film. all of these facts lead me to know that the state of israel was created by britain in order to gain an advantage in an unrelated war. i know the state of israel has caused unimaginable harm to the country it's slowly eating, and has suffered just a fraction in return. i know religion justifies none of it.

palestinians deserve to live in their own country. palestinians deserve to not be forced to give their homes to americans. palestinians deserve to live, to leave, to stay, to wave their own fucking flag. they do not deserve to have another country plopped on top of them and then have their settlers ask 'don't WE have a right to exist?' as their own right to exist is being extinguished.

fuck the idf, fuck israel, fuck manifest destiny, fuck all settlers who think they deserve someone else's home enough to kick them out of it. literally, in israel's case. indigenous americans, indigenous canadians, chicanos, pacific islanders, filipinos, mestizos, we should all be standing with palestine, because we KNOW how colonial violence goes and what it looks like. solidarity between all colonised peoples. free palestine.