I Just Browsed Through The Jedi Section Of The Star Wars Fandom And Here Seems To Be The General Consensus

Sex/Gender Swap - Obi-Wan, Anakin, Padme, & Ahsoka Illustrated by BEHIND

Random clone from the 501st: It’s amazing how stupid Jedi are tho? Like?? I watch General Skywalker?? Just eat an entire ration bar?? Without taking off the packaging?

Other 501st: Yeah. Ahsoka keeps sleeping under the hot coils in the engine room because her room isn’t warm enough. You know, she could just put some more clothes on?? But I guess not.

212th clone: Sometimes General Kenobi stays awake for like 10 days straight and has to be bribed to sleep. Also that incident where he ate nothing but toast for two months straight and gave himself scurvy.

Clones from literally any other squadron ever: Hey, um, wtf?

I just can never get enough of Shen Wei’s wavering control when it comes to Zhao Yunlan

(I got Zhen Hun vol 1 and I read it in three hours I was so excited)

Like, Shen Wei is so obviously obsessed. He stares at Yunlan constantly (as long as Yunlan is not looking). He can’t help but to look back when he leaves Yunlan. Yunlan is sick and Shen Wei helps him home, basically tucks him into bed, and cleans his entire apartment. Shen Wei is absolutely the type of person to smell Yunlan’s clothes-

But my favourite scene is definitely when Shen Wei helps Yunlan drink. Because he does very well! He and Yunlan drink an alcoholic under the table, and Yunlan is really only tipsy, meaning either Shen Wei did all the heavy lifting or Yunlan’s liver is inhumanly quick.

And with being drunk comes Shen Wei completely losing his last threads of sanity. He is a being born from darkness whose hunger can never be sated, and good golly it shows. Him basically trying to eat Yunlan has always been a highlight. The moment Yunlan shows resistance (full resistance instead of just hesitance), Shen Wei full on unpossesses his own body.

I’m fully convinced (I wasn’t on my first two reads, but I am now) that Shen Wei unpossessed himself. He is so talented. His entire body shuts down, Yunlan of course fucking panics, and Yunlan takes three tries to literally summon Shen Wei’s soul back. Man just unpossessed his own body. The body that he is attached to. Shen Wei has never stolen a body, this one is just his, and he manages to unpossess it.

It’s so great. Yunlan told him to stop and, like, he did. He really, really did. He stopped his heart beating and himself breathing and literally being in his own body. 10/10, Shen Wei is so good at following directions.

Yunlan, upon realizing that Shen Wei is the super intimidating, ominously cloaked figure who literally everyone on his team is fucking terrified of and who has worked with him for years and has only been sort of (very) obsessive over Zhao Yunlan: “I should probably stop flirting with him, because it’s a bit awkward.”

Yunlan, approximately five seconds later: “You threw yourself at me while you were drunk. I never knew how much you favoured me.”

Zhao Yunlan is the best character ever. A hot professor acts really weird and is so obviously attracted to him and Yunlan is super into it. Shen Wei treats him like precious glass that cannot be allowed to even get dirty and also like he will die if Yunlan looks at him for too long. Shen Wei tries not to touch him but revels in the warmth left behind. Shen Wei bit him like thirty times because of his conflicting desires to both eat or fuck him. Zhao Yunlan is so fucking confused.

Zhu Hong suggests that Yunlan could sleep with her in lieu of payment and Yunlan is like “Okay :)” (because he thinks it would be nice to not need to have to pay her). Yunlan is openly bi to the point that him flirting with a hot professor surprises literally none of his coworkers (they just tease him because it’s funny).

Yunlan is positive that Shen Wei is attracted to him, because obviously Shen Wei is? Yunlan isn’t being vain or overly confident, Shen Wei literally caught him while he was falling off of the school roof and tended to his light scrape like it was Yunlan’s arm coming off. Shen Wei is so obviously attracted to Yunlan, but at the same time tries desperately not to show it. Zhao Yunlan is so confused. He is bummed when Shen Wei declines to meet with him and even more bummed when Shen Wei tells him he doesn’t want to go out with him and he is also baffled because he woke up to find Shen Wei literally watching him sleep less than a week later.

If I was Zhao Yunlan, I would also be confused.

Zhao Yunlan also is great because he’s the world’s best detective who comes up with half-baked theories and tricks people (well, mostly Shen Wei and Da Qing) into admitting he’s right. He cannot stand how useless Guo Changcheng is, but Guo Changcheng is his little good luck charm and he will be bringing him everywhere. Wang Zheng tries to die and he berates her like a little kid. The Emissary sends a spooky little guy to keep Yunlan from continuing forward, and Yunlan can’t bring himself to knock it aside, so he just steps over it. When it follows him, he eventually just picks it up. When it gets scared, he lets it hide in Clarity (his watch). He is disrespectful to the very idea of gods. He is unintimidated by the Emissary who literally everyone else is terrified of. He burns incense for the little messenger even though he didn’t have to.

There were some (a lot of) parts I didn’t really get, even during my second read. However, this translation makes a lot of sense! The underworld folk are fucking terrified of Shen Wei. Shen Wei is overpowered and answers to nobody and his very presence as the Emissary is enough to make most ghosts run and hide. They are so scared. Shen Wei is getting worse. If Shen Wei goes rogue, literally nobody can stop him.

Man, if only that mountain god, the one being in the entirety of history that Shen Wei was willing to listen to, was still around.

(They decide to get that mountain god back.)

Honestly, them wanting Yunlan to remember makes a lot more sense than whatever I thought they were doing the first two times I read it. They just need someone to hold Shen Wei’s leash, and they couldn’t have known that Zhao Yunlan is literally the worst possible choice for that.

(Zhao Yunlan doesn’t even care when Shen Wei tears his shirt (apparently with fucking claws) or bites him and he really doesn’t care what the Emissary does as long as Shen Wei lets him get his baby Wang Zheng back first. The mountain god, from what I recall, was more amused by Shen Wei’s darker tendencies than anything else. There is no one worse to hope will control Shen Wei, because there is no one else who is as willing as Zhao Yunlan is to sleep with the most powerful, uncontrollable being in metaphorical Hell.)

I’ll give them points for trying, but really, they didn’t do a very good job picking. I mean, there was literally no other option, but still. Shen Wei who retains some degree of his self control vs Shen Wei who is feral over Yunlan is a pretty obvious choice.

All in all, I love Zhao Yunlan and Shen Wei. Yunlan thinks he might be coming on too strong, meanwhile Shen Wei would probably collect Yunlan’s hair if he thought he could get away with it. Shen Wei knows where Yunlan lives and lives nearby, he works in the same city, and he has stalked seen Yunlan on cases before, meanwhile Yunlan’s worst crime is sullying the professor in his head. I love them. They’re perfect for each other.

I’m just imaging an AU where Padme’s pregnancy didn’t have to be a secret and Anakin is trying to pick out names for the baby so he asks his men for ideas, and the clones, of course, throw out names like

“Zapper!”

“Sling!”

“Bomber!”

“Kickback!”

Anakin is internally screaming, but he doesn’t want to insult them by saying those are terrible names so he’s just like, “…thanks, guys.”

I want us to talk more about the Percy Jackson that is the son of the Father of Monsters.

I want us to talk about Percy looking at his brother, Tyson, staring at his only eye, at the strength in his arms and the skin that doesn’t burn, and thinking this is my brother. This is my family. I’m not so different from him.

To talk about Percy who fought another brother inside the Labyrinth and saw skulls of victims killed in the name of Poseidon and listened to his father, this god who has birthed heroes and monsters and gods, tell him Percy was his favorite. Did he ever stay awake at night wondering what that meant?

Percy who can bring the ocean to wherever he is even in the driest desert. Percy who caused an earthquake by accident and ended up freeing a monster that gave even the gods nightmares. Percy who can breathe underwater and controls a sea that doesn’t like to be controlled and creates storms that could bring down ships and destroy lives. Percy who can control anything liquid. Percy who controlled poison and scared even Annabeth who knew him better than any other demigod, who had seen so many terrifying things. Percy who is still so very, very young.

I want to talk about Percy who is the son of the Father of Monsters and has to wonder where that leaves him.

Did he ever stare in the eyes of a monster trying to kill him and think, had things been just a little different I would have been your brother in more than name? Did he ever look at himself in the mirror and wonder if there were any other humans or demigods with that shade of green in their eyes? Does he ever lay at night and listen to Annabeth’s heartbeat and think, had things been different, had he not been raised by his mother, had he been just a little less human, had he not fallen in love, he would have been able to stop it as easily as he could stop the tide?

Let’s talk about Percy Jackson who is the son of the Father of Monsters and therefore that little less human than any other demigod he’s ever met.

Percy who might have stared at Frank and thought, I wonder if I could change my shape, too, if I weren’t so scared of what I might become. I wonder if I already did.

Percy Jackson, who saw himself reflected in the curses of the monsters he killed and thought, suffocating a goddess with her own poison: monsters and I, if we’re the same, then so be it.

Percy who looks like a greek god, who has an expression that makes it hard to be sure if he’s the good guy or not in the middle of a battle, who is a hero and a legend and still wakes up screaming most nights even in college.

Percy who bled red for his entire life but still flinches when he gets a papercut- will he bleed golden, this time, or will it look like sand?

Percy Jackson is the son of the Father of Monsters and his fear is very, very human, but he is not.

As if on cue, Andrew appeared in the doorway with a bottle of whiskey in one hand and Kevin at his back. “Success.”

That scene in the first book at Wymack’s apartment

(pt 1/pt 2)

Stalling Tactics

[Anakin, getting ready to go help Palpatine] Obi-Wan: [winded, busting through the door] Anakin! Anakin: [sniffling, quickly wiping his eyes] Obi-Wan! What – what are you doing here? Obi-Wan: [clearly winging it] I…came back early from Utapau because I realized that I forgot…my keys.  Anakin: [confused] What? How would you have left without them? Obi-Wan: Oh. Uh…I mean I…came back because I forgot…something else, then. [looks around the room] [picks up a pen someone left in there] Uh, this! Anakin: O…K. [standing up straighter] Well whatever Obi-Wan, I have to go take care of something, so, maybe I’ll talk to you later. Obi-Wan: [hastily, jumping in front of him as he tries to walk past] No! I, uh, I just remembered that it’s Master Yoda’s birthday next week, and we haven’t gotten him a thing! [reaching for his hand] C’mon then, I’ll take us shopping, and you can pick out anything – Anakin: [pulling his hand away] Obi-Wan, I’m not going shopping with you right now, I have somewhere I need to be and you wouldn’t underst– Obi-Wan: [blocking the doorway] You can’t go into this part of the building right now.  Anakin: [furrowing his brow] And why is that? Obi-Wan: They’re…fumigating. This wing. Space mites. And…mold.  Anakin: [shoving him aside] Look, I don’t know what’s gotten into you, but I have a situation I need to go deal with right now and I can’t really talk about it, so, uh, see you around. [heads down the hallway] Obi-Wan: [running after him] [keels over, feigning injury] Oh! Anakin: [warily sighs] What is it now? Obi-Wan: My…foot. Is…injured. Gravely. I might need you to carry me to the –  [Anakin’s comm goes off] Anakin: Hang on, it could be the Chancell– [Obi-Wan grabs it out of his hand and throws it into a nearby garbage chute]  Anakin: Hey! That was my comm! Why did you do that?! Obi-Wan: I…wanted to see if it could withstand the trash incinerator. [peers into the chute he just threw it into] Guess not. Live and learn, I suppose! [stretches his arms over his head and yawns] Well, I’m knackered! What’s say you and I go get comfortable and watch several hours of the holonet back at our place? Anakin: [shaking his head] For kriff’s sake. Look, I don’t know what your problem is right now, but I’ve got a lot on my plate and I don’t have time to deal with whatever’s wrong with you on top of everything.  Obi-Wan: [briefly making eye contact with Mace, who is hauling Sheev away in handcuffs further down the hallway and giving Obi-Wan a thumbs-up] Mmhmm.  Anakin: And I really don’t appreciate you making my day harder than it already is.  Obi-Wan: [nodding] I understand.  Anakin: And look: whatever happens after this, just know that I had my reasons. It was the only way.   Obi-Wan: Yes, of course.  Sheev: [yelling over his shoulder] You haven’t seen the last of me, Jedi! Anakin: Huh? [about to turn around]  Obi-Wan: [grabs Anakin and dip-kisses him]

Cover Story

Obi-Wan: [obliviously marching through Padme’s doorway while she’s in the middle of a dinner party with a bunch of Senators and Jedi] Padme, darling, it appears your husband and I used up the last of the shampoo in the shower this morn– [stops as he takes note of the giant crowd in the dining room staring at him] Padme: [almost chokes on her wine, makes eye contact while shaking her head]  Anakin: [sitting further down the dining table, mouthing the word “no”] Obi-Wan: [panicking] Uh…yes, Padme. Your…husband? Um…Dennis. Anakin: [mouthing “Dennis?!” and slapping his forehead]  Padme: [wincing, immediately smiling pleasantly as Bail turns to her in surprise] Uh…yes! Gosh, I… Mon Mothma: Well, this is certainly surprising, Padme! I had no idea you were married! Mace: [skeptical] Belated congratulations, Senator. The Order will have to send you a gift. [side eyeing Obi-Wan] What’s this about Senator Amidala’s husband and you in the shower now? Obi-Wan: Ha! No. Um. I wasn’t…not at the same time, of course!  Yoda: [suspiciously watching Obi-Wan] Padme: No, of course not…Obi-Wan…sometimes stops over here to shower.   Obi-Wan: What can I say? No one has better water pressure than Padme!  Shaak Ti: I’ve always found the Temple to have adequate water pressure, but perhaps we should have Master Kenobi’s refresher examined.   Palpatine: [loving this because he fully realizes what bullshit it is] I’d very much like to meet this Dennis, Senator Amidala. Why isn’t he here this evening? Padme: Oh, he’s terribly shy. And busy. All the time. His career is very, um, demanding. Anakin: He’s a model! [Obi-Wan and Padme throw him a look] Anakin: [chewing] Super good looking. You should see him shirtless. [holds up his fork] You’ve got great taste, Padme.  Obi-Wan: [mouths “really?!” at Anakin] [everyone looks at Obi-Wan again] Uh… yes. Although one has to wonder if all that attention hasn’t gone to his head. Anakin: Hey! [everyone looks at Anakin] I think…his ego is appropriately-sized. One might also argue that his, um, modeling mentor taught him everything he knows about having an inflated ego.  Obi-Wan: [pursing his lips] Really. Because I’ve heard his mentor is actually a very level-headed individual who often wonders how he ended up in ridiculous situations where he is being made to deal with a self-absorbed young protege.  Anakin: [scowling, through gritted teeth] I didn’t hear his mentor complaining last night. Obi-Wan: [turning red] Anakin, perhaps we should discuss Dennis’ issues with his mentor another time.  Palpatine: [smirking while pouring himself more wine] Nonsense! Tell us more, gentlemen.  Padme: [laughing nervously and standing up] Oh would you look at the time! 

Han is all “there’s to much Vader in him,” without mentioning that there is too much Vader in Leia too. 

Like, Bail Organa, bless his poor poor soul, tried to politician the Vader out of her. He tried SO FUCKING HARD. 

But the fact that she abandoned politics to be a General in the Resistance says a lot about her similarities to Anakin Skywalker. 

inspired by x