A SVSSS Fic I Want To Write One Day Is Airplane And Shen Yuan Being Ejected From The System And Sent

I keep reading Obi-Wan time-travel fics (post-66 to pre-Naboo) and just… wanting Rex and Ahsoka to show up like ‘yes we followed Maul through the anomaly on Tatooine and we know for sure nobody else went through but also… we lost Maul’ and then the two acting INCREDIBLY suspicious but in ways that entirely validate “Ben” being The Weird Fucker He Is

And also they keep referencing future!Anakin as Ahsoka’s “brother” and state that “Fulcrum” was Ben’s second padawan because the timing doesn’t really work out unless you know about the war. Her training was basically split by them anyway, it’s not that big of a stretch.

There’s a handful of fics where people are like “So are you like… married or adoptive siblings or…” and they’re just like “family, where they go, I go” and then never elaborate I just really like the “two halves of a whole idiot black ops specialist” vibe they have

Also I keep imagining that, since Ahsoka doesn’t want to steal her future/baby self’s name depending on the AU, she takes on Fulcrum as an actual name, and then she and Rex use either Torrent or Jaig as a surname, though I’ve been told that she went by “Ashla” a few times and I do in fact vibe with that.

Also I like fics (or at least I imagine fics) where they refuse to refer to each other as anything other than Captain and Commander until they can trust people. Not even fake names, just ranks, in part because Intimidation.

Also I just really like the idea of teen Obi-Wan and all his Padawan friends having just. Hero Crush on Ahsoka, because she’s only a few years older, sure, but she’s a total badass and probably a shadow and she’s showing off in the salles! And then Ben is like “Uhhhhh she doesn’t consider herself a Jedi, even though a Jedi taught her, she’s technically a Rogue Force User but don’t worry, she’s a good one”

People: Would you ever consider rejoining the order? Ahsoka: I’ve got work to do in the Outer Rim and I can’t be held back by bureaucracy, so it’s just gonna be me and the Captain until I decide otherwise.

And then she swings back around and rejoins just in time to snatch up bb Anakin for a Padawan

Jedi: Why does Ben drive his padawan so hard? Ahsoka: [shows up and jokes about the number of times their war experiences had resulted in horrifying injuries] Jedi: …oh.

It’s not paranoia if you’ve already experienced it dozens of times!

Ahsoka dodging around mentioning Maul by name by saying “Your first Sith Lord” Ben and Rex: Ah, that fucker. The Disowned Dark Apprentice. All the Jedi around them: ??!?!?!?!?!!!?!?!?!? How many claims-to-be-Sith did you fight????!?!?!?!?!?!??!

Jedi: How did Ben teach you? Ahsoka, brightly: Trial by fire! Jedi: Like– Ahsoka: Yeah, no, it was active warzones, but in his defense, we really didn’t have a choice.

At any rate, I want post-Empire Ahsoka&Rex&Obi-Wan time travel that’s just. So concerning to everyone pre-TCW.

Here’s a happier thought: in another world, things are different.

Darth Vader takes one look at this feral fierce daughter of queens and politicians, this girl lying silver-tongued and spiteful to his face and thinks oh. And a heartbeat later he thinks Padme because this child looks so much like her, down to the imperious jut of her chin. And she looks like a boy he knew once, a boy called Anakin Skywalker, who was reckless and absurd and so strong with the Force that the universe buckled around him.

He says, “You are adopted, aren’t you,” and Leia’s eyebrows skyrocket.

“What relevance does that have,” she manages, “Lord Vader,” and Lord Vader would smile if he could. Instead he reaches down to touch her beautiful face; she flinches away, shows her teeth, and he feels his heart full up to bursting point.

He says, “None at all.”

Alderaan does not burn. Tarkin does though. He falls in two neat, sizzling halves.

“Um,” says Leia. Vader’s lightsabre burns red in her eyes.

“I’m no friend of the Emperor,” says Vader, says Anakin. And, “I knew your mother.” And then, because he’s Anakin Skywalker and planning has never been one of his strong suits, he offers her his hand.

“Come with me.”

“Will Alderaan be safe? My parents?”

My parents. Not by blood, but by choice, and that matters more.

“I will protect them,” says Anakin.

okay i know Hardeen was a Terrible arc for everyone involved, but what if Obi Wan had told Anakin about faking his death? Anakin’s like no worries dude I Got This, except he really. does not,,

the only reason his “acting” is remotely believable is because almost no one has seen him like this before, so it must be due to all the grief and loss and heartbreak and anger and whatnot

he starts by sobbing over Obi Wan’s supposedly dead body for a solid two hours when Obi gets shot down. “LOOK at him, so cold and Lifeless. D: HE IS SUPPOSED TO BE WARM AND FULL OF LIFE, SNIPS. I know last week I checked his pulse because he was meditating so calmly I thought he passed away in his sleep, BUT HE’S USUALLY SO WARM AND FULL OF LIFE.”

It goes on until Anakin has finished everything on his painstakingly written Outline from last night. At least half of Coruscant hears part of this speech. Mace sends Obi the security footage later, at a time he knows Anakin will be there to sit through it with Obi, because if we had to suffer then you do too, Obi Wan. 

then at the funeral, Anakin pulls out a twenty foot scroll of real actual paper, because he would appreciate this, I think, and clears his throat loudly and messily before telling the council that he has prepared a few words for the greatest jedi this order, nay, this GALAXY has ever seen, and will ever see, no matter how long any of us live—

five hours later,, he’s still going strong. half the eulogy is Terrible and V Cringeworthy, but the other half is actually v heartfelt and moving. even Mace and Yoda have to blink away some tears. 

it becomes easier after Anakin starts going into Unnecessary Details about obi wan’s life, like how he’ll miss holding onto those heavy 327 thread count woolen robes when he’s saving obi’s ass (curvature 48.5 degrees) for the 23094th time, and how he’ll never see a more sincere expression of Compassion than he saw when reading line 83 of Obi Wan’s eighth letter to Duchess Satine last month, quoted now as follows— 

Ahsoka enlists Plo Koon’s help and they finally shuffle him over to the side, promising him they can finish his fake eulogy at the council dinner tonight. Obi Wan’s death may be fake, but MY WORDS ARE REAL, SNIPS, HOW DARE YOU. says Anakin, before he (a little gleefully) starts destroying the walls to show how Emotionally Compromised he is over this 100% real death. 

he takes the 212th drinking, after having told all of them, too. so now there are 293637 men crying about Obi Wan (relatable af, y/y), all of which have the acting talent of a wilted blade of grass. there are 283747 toasts, and every single person there cries for each and every one of them, despite everyone knowing obi is still alive

watched this for the first time when i was 14 i think? it saved me

*narrator voice* they were not fine

Road Trip

[Obi-Wan, Anakin, and Ahsoka, traveling through space] Anakin: [piloting while drinking a soda through a straw] [still drinking] [runs out of soda] [still making loud drinking noises] Obi-Wan: [slight eyelid twitch] Ahsoka: [playing something on her phone] This…is really boring. Can we stop for a bathroom break? Anakin: There’s a refresher on the ship, Snips.  Ahsoka: [dramatic sigh] I just wanted to get a change of scenery. This is taking forever! Obi-Wan: Now now, Ahsoka, patience is an essential element of being a Jedi. [sotto voce] How much longer do we have left, Anakin? It’s been ages. Shouldn’t we be home by now? Anakin: Not too much longer. [under his breath] About three days.  Ahsoka: What?! Obi-Wan: Three days?!  Anakin: Well I thought I’d discovered this great shortcut. That maybe turned out to be a hyperspace lane going in the opposite direction. And normally I would have noticed sooner but I kind of…fell asleep.  Obi-Wan: Anakin! Ahsoka: [covering her face with a travel pillow] Oh my gods…three more days of this… Anakin: Well I’m sorry, but it sure seems like my former Master should have woken me up, except that the old man fell asleep earlier than I did! Obi-Wan: Oh, so this is my fault? You choosing an unapproved alternate route without telling anyone is on me? Ahsoka: [throws a candy wrapper at Anakin’s head] Anakin: Young lady, that is not model Padawan behavior! [takes another long, loud sip from his empty soda] Obi-Wan: [scowling at him] As if you’d know anything about model Padawan behavior.  Anakin: [throws the candy wrapper at Obi-Wan]  Obi-Wan: I feel my point is proven.  Anakin: [pointedly takes another drink] Ahsoka: Oh my GODS, please STOP DRINKING THAT! Obi-Wan: [grabs it out of his hand and throws the can across the room] This! Bloody thing! Is empty! [all three of them yelling at each other] Mace: [popping up via holo-Skype] Kenobi, Skywalker, Padawan Tano: is everything all right? We expected you back by now. Do you need assistance?  Anakin: [nodding] Oh, Master Windu, we’re fine. Just a little…uh… Obi-Wan: …traffic! Congestion. A very large…construction…project.  Ahsoka: [nodding and smiling] My Masters have got it all figured out. Don’t you worry, Master Windu! We’ll be home soon! 

moments before the end of the world

And a Happy New Year

Clark: [Walks into Wayne manor with his family] Hello everyone! Merry chr-

Bruce: [marching to and fro like a drill sergeant in front of Tim, Steph and Jason, looking furious]

Clark: -istmas?

Bruce: [menacing] which one of you did it?

Tim, Steph and Jason: [looking bored] ...

Bruce: I know it was one of you. Which. One.

Jason: You 'know' it was one of us? That sounds a little presumptuous.

Steph: Yeah. I came here to have a good time and I'm honestly feeling so attacked right now.

Bruce: Of course it was one of you three!

Jason: [gasps] Oh my god. Bias.

Tim: This is sexist.

Bruce: what?

Steph: We're being victimized. [flips her hair] I feel unsafe.

Bruce: [stops in front of Tim] Tim. You're the sensible one. Who was it?

Tim: [dramatically] You accuse us of wrongdoing yet you lack even the slightest hint of evidence. For shame.

Jason: Shoddy detective work is what it is.

Steph: What would Gordon say?

Jason: You know. It really breaks my heart that you would just ASSUME that one of us did it. Really shows who you trust, huh, batman? God forbid you'd interrogate DICK.

Bruce: assu- ASSUME? In this family there are THREE people who would EVER even THINK to tie someone up, cover them in glitter and put them on top of the christmas tree. [points viciously at the slightly worse-for-wear pinetree] AND IT'S YOU

Steph: [studying her nails] sounds like sexism to me

Tim: [arms crossed] circumstantial at best

Jason: [grinning] got any FACTS to corroborate that accusation B?

Bruce: I-

Damian: [from the doorway; his clothes, hair and skin covered in glitter] It was Todd and Brown. Though I do not doubt that Drake assisted in planning it.

Tim, Steph and Jason: ...

Jason: OBJECTION

Clark: ...

Kon: [trying to stifle his laughter]

Lois: [to Clark] We're not having any more children. Two is enough.

my mom, turning up “we will rock you”: football babey!

me, internally: straight people think they understand queen which is cute

the witcher but with britney spears music (heavily inspired by @paper-records)