Diomedes: If I Had A Talent Of Gold For Every Time Odysseus Talked About Penelope, I'd Have A Talent.

Dick was the last to be adopted, Jason became the black sheep post-resurrection, Tim made himself Robin, Damian was dropped in Gotham after ten years of being kept secret, Cass possesses killer instincts that run counter to Batman's philosophy, Duke is a meta whose parents are still alive (albeit jokerized), and Steph has zero legal connections to the Waynes. All of the batkids have reason to believe they're the only one Bruce doesn't want around and Bruce is unaware of the problem because they don't vocalize it not just out of the usual emotional constipation, but also a deep-seated fear of being proven right. In this essay, I will—

My friend’s little brother (non-verbal) used to hide people’s shoes if he liked the person, because it meant they had to stay longer. The more difficult it was to find your shoes, the more he liked you.

One day my cousin came over, and she was a bitch. When it was time to leave, my friend’s brother handed her shoes directly to her and she went on and on about how he must have a crush on her because he only “helped” her.

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does anyone wanna hold hands until we feel a little braver

Dick Grayson's unmatched success as a child vigilante makes a lot more sense when you remember the Court of Owls was a thing and that Dick was meant to be the next Grey Son.

There is no way that someone at Haly's Circus wasn't there keeping an eye on him while he grew up. A future weapon needs to be trained and monitored after all, and a circus, a place where weird skills are completely normal, is actually a great place to secretly train a child.

You know, just some knife tricks that translated really well into actual fighting. How to get out of restraints and pick locks while under a time limit. Death defying acrobatic stunts that coincidentally do wonders for parkouring. That sort of thing. Nothing that seems out of place for a boy growing up around circus performers to learn, but would literally any where else.

I mean, while I fully believe that most kids would want to kill the man responsible for their parents deaths, Dick was weirdly prepared to go through it. He tracked down Zucco with way more ease than any normal child should have too. He became the first child vigilante, for goodness sake. The first Robin! He only started getting formal training after he basically forced Bruce into it!

Bruce himself has no idea that this kind of competency in a child is unusual, considering he was much too blinded by the similarities between his and Dick's tragic orphanhoods.

Alfred is in a similar boat because he’s desensitized to weird children after he somehow managed to successfully raise Bruce 'The Batman' Wayne, so he doesn't clock the hyper-competency as abnormal either.

By the time the other batkids start popping up (Jason 'The Audacity' Todd, borderline-street rat with no fear) (Tim 'the greatest stalker in Gotham history' Drake, child genius, also bullied his way into becoming Robin) (Barbara 'raised by the only uncorrupt cop in gotham' Gordon) (Stephanie 'daddy issues and spite' Brown) (Duke 'Pretends he's the normal one and people believe him' Thomas) it's too late.

It would also explain how Dick got along so well with Damian out of all of them. Similar childhood with different approaches and all that. On some subconscious level, Dick recognises and resonates with the murderous ten year old assassin with strong familial ties to a secret elite assassin organization.

It isn't until after the whole Court of Owls and Grey Son reveal that suddenly Dick realises a whole lot of things about his childhood that suddenly make a lot more sense.

"spam like = blocked" if you spam like me i am going to cast 1000 protection spells on you so nothing bad happens to you ever

there are many secrets that could be weaseled, tortured, threatened, or bought out of me. but my ao3 history?

Nah. that's between me and my fbi agent, and until i have to answer for each and every sin and crime i have ever committed, it's going to stay that way.

I made a new ship.

Nim Pianna and Arla Fett. Started a fic (You’re Safe) with that pairing on ao3… and I think it’s a completely new tag, I came up with the ship months ago while reading How a Romance Novel Saved the Galaxy by Ariana Deralte (ArianaDeralte), but… yeah. Thoughts?

Charles Xavier, chronologically :

- sacrifices his brilliant career to prevent a major international crisis

- sacrifices his principles to get the man he loves closure

- loses his legs #1

- gets heartbroken #1

- loses his sister go to make her happy

- sacrifices a close friendship to protect his children

- loses sleep

- gets brunt out from all the responsibility and trauma probably at some point

- accepts to get out of his dysfunctional comfort zone to help a mean man he's met once save the world

- gets heartbroken #2

- sacrifices his legs to help people #2

- manages to create a functional system that gives dozens if not hundreds of ostracised children great education, self confidence and integration into society (possibly saving them from abuse or worse)

- loses his school

- gets heartbroken #3

- gets violated by a god

- loses his hair

- shouts fuck you at the aforementioned god and proceeds to almost sacrifice himself to death to save humanity

- forgives the man he loves and makes him see the good in himself #10001000

The two shits he manages to keep fed, clothed and entairtained for 1/3 of a century despite beeing otherwise occupied (one of them having broken his heart thrice) :

- "you've never sacrificed anything"

- "you're always sorry, and then there is aways a speech"

horniest battle moments:

- taking your ally's weapon out of their scabard to use yourself

- using someone else's shoulder as a rifle stand

- nudging someone's chin up with the tip of your weapon

- freezing with your blades against one another's throats, breathing into each other's mouths