Indulging In The Beauty Of Vintage Books And

Samira Mohan x reader…just gay shit. Yeah…thinking thots rn.

Okay but imagine a song fic with Marcus Acacius or Harry Castillo and his younger assistant

Sinners? A master class in allegory. Should be taught in every single film and lit class.

BOOMSHAKALAKA YES LAWWWWDDDDDDDD

Go give THAT FIC ALL THE LOVE YALL ITS DELICIOUSSSSSSSS

The way this is literally me & @gothcsz’s interpretation of sugar daddy Marcus Acacius like uggggg. Everybody go read our doc child: SAFETY NET for clear skin. 5 likes and we’ll work on chapter two and make it extra nasty for everybody. 😁🤭

𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 (𝐓𝐖𝐎)

all my fics, blurbs, and other thoughts! reader is written as a black or poc woman but all are welcome to enjoy <3 | (18+/minors dni)

(FIRST MASTERLIST LINK)

𝐀𝐁𝐁𝐎𝐓𝐓 𝐄𝐋𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐘

MANNY CASTILLO ⋆｡°✩

⋆ late for work – manny has a meeting with superintendent reynolds. you... don't care. (+18)

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐏𝐈𝐓𝐓

MICHAEL "ROBBY" ROBINAVITCH ⋆｡°✩

⋆ thinking of you – robby gets himself off to the thought of his favorite nurse (+18)

⋆ greedy – robby surrenders. (+18)

⋆ the banquet – you and robby ditch a charity event (+18)

⋆ sfw headcanons (1) – my thoughts on michael "robby" robinavitch

JACK ABBOT ⋆｡°✩

⋆ ride – jack makes you ride his thigh (+18)

⋆ favorite – jack treats his favorite resident (+18)

⋆ weekends (1) – jack loves you too much (+18)

⋆ too much – jack mocks you (+18)

RABBOT X READER ⋆｡°✩

⋆ teamwork – robby is in jack's spot (+18)

⋆ trouble – what happens when you smack their ass (+18)

JAMIRA X READER ⋆｡°✩

coming soon <3

𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐒

coming soon <3

The yearning!!! 😭🥹

Companionship | pt. 9

Dr. Michael “Robby” Robinavitch x f!reader

Previous | Next

Summary: You try to move on, until your phone rings.

[ Series Masterlist ]

Note: Y’ALL ARE SO NICE TO ME!! I may not be able to answer everyone (especially on reblogs), but I appreciate you all so much😭💜

Word Count: 2k

Warnings: age gap, angst, foul language, panic attack, feelings, talk of death (adamson)

not beta read

Every thought screamed for him to turn around and run back into the apartment. It clawed at his insides that he had majorly fucked up. The pieces of the Visa card dug into his palm, sharp and unforgiving. You had cut it up. He had thrown your agreement and your payment in your face and you had already cut the Visa card up.

Michael kept walking, and walking, too embarrassed to turn around. Hot feelings buzzed in his chest, torn between guilt and something that burned unrequited.

Had it really been unreciprocated when you had basically admitted to it? Shame flushed through Michael’s system.

He had wanted to be a good person and not allow someone far too close to half his age to get tangled in his mess. In him. It would not be fair, to you most of all. He had just wanted to walk into your apartment, check to see if you were okay and then end the agreement, even when not having you in his company was the last thing he wanted.

He ended up tearing any hope to shreds. It was not even fair for him to have had any hope, but if you had pushed? I would have given it a chance, the thought stung and bile churned in his stomach. But he had been a fool and fucked it all up anyways.

The thoughts racing through his head felt jumbled and chaotic. Guilt and shame for how it had ended, for how he had hurt you, and something like relief. If you hated him, then there would be nothing to pursue and you would move on. Move on. It felt like acid in his mouth.

This was all for the better, he tried to tell himself. He could hardly imagine anything working between you anyways — between the age gap, the swirling insecurities he had with it, and all the skeletons in his closet. Not to mention his general avoidance of his feelings, or the kind of emotional intimacy long term relationships required. He fucked up anything serious he had ever found himself in. You would have gotten hurt regardless. It was better to rip the bandaid off early and let you go.

A longing sat heavy in his chest, an itch to reach out. A call. Just a call. Just to hear your voice and bathe in the way you had a knack for calming him. Was it weird that he wanted to seek you out even after all he had said? Over some stupid impulsive words strung together by his insecurities over the whole thing. A complete instinctive response to shield his heart from something real. Something that might matter. Something that might hurt.

But he had made it hurt all on his own.

—

Days blurred together, the pain in your hand acting as the only buoy that kept you tethered to your reality. You wanted to sink beneath the waves, let your heartbreak drown you, but the thoughts made you feel even more pathetic.

I didn’t even really know him, your mind sneered. How can you mourn what wasn’t even there?

Perhaps it had been that fact that you had grown to trust him, or the feelings flickering in your heart and in your belly at the very thought of him. Something had clearly been brought to life in your late night conversations, wandering eyes and lingering touches and you hated yourself for it. For the butterflies that still invaded your insides at the thought of his lips against yours, bubbling up your throat until you wanted to scream.

You had to kill the feelings and move on. You only allowed yourself one more day of misery before trying to pick up the pieces.

Every time you caught sight of your hand, edges stitched together, you thought of him. Of how you wished your heart had been more cleanly cut so the jagged edges did not get caught on any wandering thought, forcing you to feel it even more. Forced his stupid handsome face to center stage in your head, the way his eyes softened—

You wondered how the hell you were going to stitch up that wound.

Marsi came by after you had ignored her texts for a few days, showing up with a bottle of wine and junk food.

“I know you probably don’t want to talk about it, but it might make you feel better?” Marsi asked when you opened the front door.

You frowned, but let your friend in.

“I texted Erin since she might’ve been able to help with this sort of situation, but apparently she’s in Greece right now. With Craig The Hedgefund Guy.”

“Good for her.” You said monotonously.

Marsi raised an eyebrow, “So…did he not want to cancel the agreement in favor of anything else?”

“No, he wanted to cancel the agreement.” You huffed out.

Marsi waited patiently.

“He just didn’t want me.” You shrugged. “Thought I was just interested in his money.”

“Well, he has been—”

“I know, Marsi. I know.” Your throat got tight in embarrassment. “I just want to forget about it.”

“I’m happy to distract you with my poor excuse of a love life and my dumb professor.”

“Please.”

—

It had been a week. More than a week. Your healing cut was beginning to itch. You had scheduled an appointment with Dana back when you had been in the ER, but you did not want to go back. You had called up your PCP to schedule to get them removed instead. You just had two more days and you could put it all behind you.

There had been distractions in the end of year exams that you had been able to lose yourself in. Late nights became even more common, studying and trying to forget. Your heartbreak had yielded to anger, though the lines between them blurred enough that one was the other and you had a hard time figuring out which was which.

You sat on your bed, hoping that you would perhaps get so tired that you would pass out so you would not have to be alone with your thoughts. The anxiety of your exams was just increasing your turmoil even more.

Time is healing my hand, time will heal this too.

Sitting criss-cross on your bed, your laptop in front of you, you tried to focus on the numbers on the spreadsheet. They blurred together due to the late hour.

Your phone buzzed beside you, and your eyes flickered to see who it was. Your heart lurched into your throat at the sight of Michael’s name.

Heart already beginning to pound, a small amount of heat lighting your skin on fire, your hands beginning to grow clammy. You stared at it, before taking a long blink and rubbing your eyes. Surely, your eyes were playing tricks.

Opening them again, his name still sat there and the buzzing continued. It was late, nearly midnight, and a fear took root. Why is he calling?

With slight hesitation, you reached to answer it before it went to voicemail. The silence of your room was suddenly invaded by the sound of Michael crying. Heavy breathing trying to find rhythm, and panic bloomed from your fear.

You swallowed and just listened. Words got stuck in your throat, and the red hot anger that had been biding its time made you flinch to hang up. How dare he call you out of all people when he was in the middle of a panic attack. Did he not remember the scathing words he had said? Completely ending your agreement, your obligation to talk to him?

Had it been obligation? Or had it been care? Your mind whispered somewhere in a dark corner.

“I-I’m sorry—” he whispered, his voice cutting through the hyperventilated breaths like a siren’s call across the sea of your uncertainty.

Your heart thudded, but you let out a long breath, your edges softening.

“Just take a deep breath, Michael.” You said, trying to pull any sort of emotion from your voice. “It’s okay.”

“It’s not o-okay.” He hiccuped on a sob. “Fuck, I don’t even know why—”

You hushed him.

“Shit, fuck, I’m sorry. I had to take a patient off a ventilator—” He sucked in a sharp breath. “He was—he was gone, but fuck—I didn’t—it felt like—” He resorted back to his tears.

The sound of his desperation clawed through the heat of your anger, finding the soft spot beneath and latching on, sinking its teeth deep. Your own tears welled up. All the frustration, the sorrow, the anger, the heartbreak and your own brutal desperation tangling together in your throat, tears burning your eyes. You cried with him.

With your cheeks wet and sobs crashing through your body, you held your phone tightly to your ear, wishing instead it had been Michael you were holding close. Stupid, foolish girl.

“It brought me back to having to let Adamson go…it felt like I was reliving it all over again.” His breathing still came quickly. “I had to give up on him to save a little girl…and she didn’t even make it.”

Your own sadness bled into your empathy, “Michael…I don’t know what you need me to say. I’m sorry.” Your voice was hoarse. “Just breathe with me.”

You tried to take a deep breath through your nose and back out through your mouth, but it got caught somewhere in your chest. You cried harder.

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t—fuck. Today was rough. It was bad. I—I didn’t know who else to call. I needed to hear your voice.”

A part of your heart warmed and you rubbed your eyes. Your thoughts blurred with a thousand questions and a million protests.

“I’m sorry if I’m overstepping. I should—”

“No…stay.”

The line grew quiet, but it didn’t cut off. You had the fleeting thought to hang up and not allow any of it to get any more complicated than it already was, but you could not bring yourself to. You held onto your phone like a life preserver in the storm.

It took several minutes before your breathing began to slow and the tears to dry, and rational thoughts seeped back in. He took a long breath in on the other side.

“I’m really sorry for everything I said.” Michael whispered. “Fuck, that was so wrong of me to do to you.”

“It really hurt.” You told him simply. “I thought—I just—is that really what you think of me?”

“No,” he said quickly. “No, it isn’t. I didn’t know how to deal with my feelings, or how the agreement was making me feel. And I took it out on you. That was incredibly unforgivable of me.”

You swallowed, “It was getting complicated, that wasn’t what you signed up for.”

“No, it wasn’t.” He agreed. “It still doesn’t absolve me for everything I said.”

“No, it doesn’t.”

He sighed, “Thank you for picking up anyway.”

You stayed silent, unsure exactly what you wanted to say.

“But the agreement is over. Nothing more to tie us together.”

“So where does that leave us?”

“I don’t want this…distance between us. Even if that means we’re just friends. But I can understand if you want nothing more to do with me.” He said.

You bit your lip, “I can’t just forget what you said, not yet. But I don’t want you to go anywhere, either. I want to figure this out.”

He paused on the other end, “Did you get your stitches out yet?”

“No. I have an appointment with my PCP.”

“Come by the hospital instead? We can start there?”

You thought about it, about seeing him. About the possibility of finding sturdy ground with him again and the possibility of letting something grow without the hindrance of an agreement. Or any external pressure.

“Are you working tomorrow?”

“Yes.”

“I originally scheduled to come by tomorrow after work.”

“I’ll be here.”

“Okay, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Yeah, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Something like hope grew back in your chest.

[ Next ]

Companionship taglist: @queenslandlover-93 @clementine111002 @virgomillie @emily-b @kaygilles @lt-jakeseresin @imonmykneessir @kniselle @gabsgabsvaz @rosiepoise88 @calivia @holdonimwalkingmysnail @valhallavalkyrie9 @blahkateisdone @shadowhuntyi @fuckalrighty @elli3williams @yournerdmodziata @i-know-i-can @dickheadturner @dcgoddess @pittobsessed @glamorizethechaos @blueb33ry-cat @whatdoesntkillyoumakesyoustrange @burningpenguinwitch @evienorville @equallyshaw @heyysolsister @justrandomthougt @babygirlagenda

Dr. Robby taglist: @cherriready @seeyalaterinnovator @my-soulmate-is-mycroft @bxxbxy @18lkpeters @flyinglama @hagarsays @mayabbot @anakingreys @happyfox43 @dark-twisted-and-mechanical-mind @sarah-the-bird-nerd

(50 tags have been reached with the combo of all three taglists, so unfortunately The Pitt taglist for this series will be added in a reblog right after this is posted - I’m sorry if this is an inconvenience!)

You’re not depressed. You just need $250,000 in your bank account.

He’s so handsome I want to cry

so you're telling me that in FIVE YEARS no one in Jackson got with him???? HELL NAH i don't believe it