New Yorkers. [harry Castillo X Bipoc Moodboard].

when would jack stutter, have to catch his breath? whether it be something he sees, hears, smells. what makes him take pause?

Jack Abbot doesn’t stutter for effect. He doesn’t lose his words in arguments or get flustered in tension. He was trained—trained—to speak clearly through chaos. To radio for medevac while pressure-wrapping a wound with one hand. To give the date, time, and morphine dose to a nineteen-year-old he was holding together by sheer will while bullets cracked overhead. Words, for Jack, have always been tools. Precise. Tactical. Controlled.

So when Jack stutters, it’s never performance. It’s never dramatics. It’s malfunction. It means something short-circuited so violently inside him that all his practiced scripts—the field medic instincts, the ER attending cadence, the gallows humor—all of it collapses under the weight of something real.

It’s not trauma that makes him pause. He’s acclimated to that. It’s gentleness. It’s earnestness. It's the things no one ever trained him to survive.

It starts small.

You’re in his kitchen one morning, still in sleep clothes. No makeup. You open the fridge and mutter, “We need more eggs.” Not he needs. Not you need. We.

Jack freezes.

Just for a second. Just long enough that the corner of the coffee filter burns.

Because he’s spent years learning how to survive alone. Alone is safe. Alone is math he can do. But we? We is dangerous. We has loss baked into it.

So when you say something that sounds like permanence without even realizing it, Jack looks down at the mug in his hand like he forgot how it got there.

“You okay?” you ask, still rummaging.

“Yeah, I just—” He exhales, blinks. “I—uh, it’s—fine.”

It’s not the word he’s fumbling over. It’s the feeling.

Then it escalates.

You wear his sweatshirt to the grocery store and complain about the sleeves being too long. You say it in passing—no agenda, no performance. Just an offhanded “How the hell do your arms fit in this thing?”

Jack laughs. He nods. He goes quiet.

And later, when you’re brushing your teeth, he stands in the doorway, arms crossed, watching you like he’s never seen anything more disarming.

“You know you, uh—” He pauses. Swallows. “You look good in that.”

And that stutter? It’s not nerves. It’s not lust. It’s ache. It’s how dare you look like home in my clothes when I never thought I’d have one again. It’s him tasting the fact that someone might love him with the lights on. With the ghosts still in the room.

But the worst of it—the deepest malfunction—is when you touch the part of him he hides.

It’s a Tuesday. You’re lying in bed. Jack’s out of the shower, towel around his waist, residual steam curling off his shoulders. You’re half asleep when he climbs in, careful, always careful. The prosthetic is off. His right leg ends below the knee, the skin there pale, uneven in tone, scarred in a way that doesn’t fade with time.

You don’t flinch. You never have.

You roll over, press your face into his chest, and—without thinking—run your hand down his thigh and stop at the point where flesh becomes absence. Where history lives in muscle memory.

He draws in a sharp breath—sudden, ragged—like it knocked the wind out of him.

“Sorry,” you whisper, pulling back.

But he grabs your wrist. Not to stop you. To ground himself. To hold the moment in place.

“No, I—” His voice cracks. The words don’t follow. “It’s not—I just—” He blinks fast, jaw twitching. “I wasn’t—expecting that.”

Because what you touched wasn’t just skin. It was the thing he’s ashamed of needing love through. The thing people look at and get polite. The thing strangers pretend not to notice. The thing he never believed could be part of desire. And you just touched it like it was his. Like it was safe.

That’s when Jack stutters.

When you make the part of him he’s spent years compartmentalizing feel not just accepted—but wanted.

But maybe the most dangerous kind of stutter—the kind that ruins him—isn’t even about touch.

It’s when you fight.

Not over something petty. Something real. Something that threatens the fragile trust he’s learning to build. Maybe you accuse him of shutting you out again. Of pulling back every time things get too close. And you’re right. You’re so right it guts him.

He raises his voice. Snaps something defensive. His default. Control the room. Win the logic. Out-talk the fear.

But then you say it.

“Jack, you don’t have to be perfect to be loved.”

And that sentence? That sentence breaks him.

Not because of what it is.

Because of what it isn’t.

It isn’t a demand. It isn’t a plea. It’s grace. Unconditional. Unflinching. And it makes no goddamn sense to a man who’s only ever been valued for what he can fix, what he can endure, what he can sacrifice.

So he stares at you.

“You don’t—” His voice falters. “You don’t know what you’re saying.”

“I do,” you whisper.

And he stutters. He turns away. Rubs his jaw. Blinks hard.

Because he wants to believe you. More than anything. But his nervous system doesn’t know how to file that truth under anything but threat.

He says, “I just—” and never finishes.

Because he can’t.

Because it’s too much.

Because your love is louder than his guilt, and that is a sound Jack Abbot doesn’t know how to live through.

That’s when he stutters.

When you say something that unravels the wire he’s been holding himself together with since the war. Since the job started asking more than he had to give and he gave it anyway.

When you look at him like he is not a burden. Like he is allowed to stay.

That’s what makes Jack Abbot forget how to speak.

Not blood.

Not death.

But the unbearable mercy of being loved anyway.

Okay so this is what I have in mind for fics in the next few weeks:

- 5 moments with Jack Abbot: the one where he knew he was going to like you, the three where he gets to know you, and the one that seals the deal for him (let’s be real this man is down bad so they’re all seals the deal moments but ykwim) Jack Abbot x Dottoressa!reader

- fake boyfriend! Michael Robinavitch: trying to avoid a weirdo at the bar, you insert yourself at Michael’s booth with the rest of his colleagues, glued to his side as if you belonged there the whole time, an interesting arrangement ensues. (Fwb/fake dating)

- maybe a (n)sfw alphabet for each? is there a template to follow that y’all know of?

That’s all I have for now I’m afraid. But I’d love to Drabble and talk some brain rot in between :)

i hope every single one of you outlives these hateful fucks on the news right now. i hope each and every one of you is able to find joy and support throughout these tumultuous times and i hope you get to live so fiercely as yourself. i hope you wake up one day to news that you’ve outlived those pieces of absolute shit and whether that brings you joy or relief or hope or what have you, i hope you live to see that day

in love with whatever this is

Omg I wanna know what happens next 👀👀

Wouldn't it be nice

Part two

Summary: Three life changing years later you run into Harry Castillo on your first day of work.

Pairing: Harry Castillo x fem. reader

Rating: G

Wordcount: 3.2k

Warnings: vacation romance, unplanned pregnancy, death of parents, Harry is a family man, sister and brother dynamics, moving across country, reunions (sort of)

A/N: I still have no real clue where I'm going with this and how long this will be so... enjoy the ride?

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Main Masterlist // Harry Castillo Masterlist // Wouldn’t it be nice Masterlist

Three years later

Moving across the country was not how you envisioned spending your Christmas break, but the opportunity was too good to pass up. 

Everything had… kind of been a mess ever since you learned you were pregnant. 

You lost your job and your apartment, had to move in back with your parents. Your father got really sick, dying just days before you gave birth to your daughter Emily. 

And just when you thought things were getting better, just before Emily’s first birthday, you were woken up in the middle of the night by a police officer, telling you that your mother had an accident at work which she didn’t survive. 

That night was one of the very few nights you googled him. 

Harry Castillo. 

To say you were surprised at what you found out about him the first time you typed the letters of his name into google, days after finding out you were pregnant, was an understatement. 

The man who stole chocolate bars out of your minibar was a billionaire?

You fell in kind of a hole, reading a lot about him and his work. About him becoming the youngest self made millionaire back in the day. About the charities he supported. About the nasty divorce he went through years ago. Apparently ever since then Harry was New York’s most eligible bachelor Number one and every single female who was seen with him had been marked down as his new romance. 

You called his office. 

Once. 

The number having made its way into your phone for some reason. 

You didn’t reach him, of course. 

A very nice but strict secretary told you that you had to make an appointment and when you couldn’t tell her why you needed one, you were brushed off pretty quickly. 

You couldn’t tell a stranger that the man you had spend six days fucking in every way possible on your dream vacation turned out to be her boss and the father of your unborn child. 

So, you moved on from that. 

You parents had told you more than once to seek out an attorney to get child support. You could have needed the money, keeping yourself afloat with random jobs while applying to local schools in hopes to finally put your degree to some good use. 

So yeah, the last years had been hard, but you would never change a thing because it gave you Emily. 

She was the light of your life, always making you smile even when she spread mashed potatoes over her whole face and into her dark brown curls, big brown eyes looking up at you with mischief. 

She looked so much like her father it wasn’t even funny. 

You wanted to give her everything and more so when you actually got invited for an interview at one of the fanciest private elementary schools in New York City (you might have had a glass of wine too much after having a little pity party for yourself on you birthday that made you apply) you took that as a sign. 

Now you had actually moved to New York City, the school providing you with a little apartment that was more than enough for you and Emily. 

You would take over the first grade at the school, one teacher leaving for an extended maternity leave the school was providing. 

„Mommy is gonna pick you up right here,“ you knelt in front of Emily who looked a little unsure. She never had been at a daycare before and you had spent the last week easing her into it. 

„Promise?“ She asked and your heart broke a little before you nodded, wrapping her into your arms. 

Moments like these made you wish you could be a stay at home mom. 

You wanted nothing more than to spend your time with your daughter, but life had other plans. 

„I love you bug,“ you whispered, kissing her cheek. 

„Love you, mommy!“ She said before she turned around, taking the hand of Miss Clarins, who was working at the daycare and kind of became Emily’s favourite person in the last couple of days. 

„Good luck on your first day!“ The woman said and you sighed, torn but excited to start this new chapter. The good thing was that the daycare was in the same building than the school. You’d never be too far away from her.

„Thank you!“ You smiled, watching your daughter walk into the big room before you took a deep breath and walked towards the teachers lounge. 

„Uncle Harry?“

Harry blinked up, having been sorting through his emails on the phone as the car slowly moved through the city. 

„Yes, Daniel?“ Harry put his phone away, giving his whole attention to his nephew. 

„Can we go have ice cream?“ He asked and Harry chuckled. 

„No baby, you can’t have ice cream. It’s not even 9 am and it’s freezing outside!“ Harry’s sister Sarah scolded. The boy frowned, sitting between the two adults as the car slowly approached the school. 

„Can we have ice cream later?“ Daniel asked hopefully. Sarah have Harry a look to which he only grinned. 

„Tell you what, you be on your best behaviour for your new teacher today and I’ll pick you up after school to get ice cream from that place we found the last time we went to the park,“ Harry promised and Daniel’s eye got huge. 

„Please, Please, Pleasseeee?“ He nodded hopefully, first at Harry, then at his mother. 

„I thought you had a meeting this afternoon,“ she frowned and Harry smirked. 

„Not if you take it,“ he winked and Sarah rolled her eyes, looking between Daniel and Harry who both began to pout, the longer she didn’t say anything. 

„Fine!“ She finally said and Harry put his arm around Daniel’s shoulder just as the car stopped in front of the school. 

„Have a great day, buddy,“ he said and Daniel squeezed him while Sarah already opened the door to step out. 

„You too, Uncle Harry!“ The boy said before he climbed out of the car, waving at him as Sarah walked him into the school. 

He watched after them for a moment, wondering what in the world his (now ex) brother in law was thinking when he just threw his family away. Shaking his head to himself he got his phone out, scrolling through the emails that were already piling up for him. 

Once the contract with the French was finally signed, things would hopefully calm down. 

Maybe he could even take a vacation, his mind immediately wandering to the last time he had something similar to a vacation. 

He hadn’t planned to stay on the island. He had gotten the deal and he wanted to have a drink before making the call to prepare the jet so he could fly back home. 

But then he had seen you. 

It might sound dumb, but it felt like the world just stopped for a moment when he first saw you, your smile wide as you talked to the man working behind the bar. 

You were beautiful. 

And you changed his plans the moment his lips found yours for the first time that very same evening. 

He had cancelled his whole planned week back home, his sister asking him if he was okay before he told her that he had met someone and wanted to spend more time with you. 

It was unlike Harry to one, go on a vacation and two, be interested enough in someone to neglect his work. Even before his ugly divorce almost ten years ago he was a workaholic, something that was a blessing and a curse. 

It was what made him a billionaire at the age of forty two. But it also made him lonely. 

He should have known that you were too good to be true, having waited for you to contact him for an entire month before he decided to move on. 

Sure, if he had wanted he could have probably found you, he had his ways. 

But maybe it was better this way. 

A lovely memory of a week full of passion and, at least for him, love. 

He jumped when the car door flew open and his sister got into the car with a long sigh. 

„So you ditch work for my son now?“ She asked, the car already moving towards the skyscraper that held his company. 

„Do you want to spend all afternoon handling Daniel on the sugar rush I just promised to him?“ He asked, cocking his eyebrow. 

„You make a valid point,“ she mused, before letting her head fall down against his shoulder. 

„I’m glad he has you,“ she said quietly and Harry kissed the side of her head. Her divorce had been equally as dirty as his, maybe even more because a child had been involved. Her ex made her life a living hell until Harry stepped in and…. Not exactly threatened but…. Very pointedly reminded him that he could ruin his life in every possible way if he didn’t stop ruining his sisters life. 

Family was above everything for him, and his ex brother in law had been fucking with his family too much. He hadn’t seen the man in two years, not since he signed the divorce papers and fucked off to somewhere in Europe. 

Both him and his sister enjoyed the quiet in the car before it stopped in front of a tall building. Them carpooling to work had become a regular occurrence since Daniel started school. 

„See you at dinner?“ Sarah asked and Harry nodded, helping her out of the car. They might work in the same company, but they did not see each other much. 

His sister was all he had left of his family. Younger by almost ten years he was fiercely protective over her and everyone knew it. 

The board member who challenged her seat at the table three years after she had started working at his company had been so pissed for Harry voting him out, he still once in a while gave a shitty interview when he needed some more money. 

Sarah and him parted ways once the elevator door opened and Harry was immediately welcomed by his personal assistant Lou who was walking him through his day. 

„Sarah is gonna take the meeting with the French. I promised ice cream to a little boy,“ Harry said as the walked through the door of his sleek office. It overlooked central park and if he looked closely enough he could see the building his penthouse was in on the other side of it. 

„I’ll let them know. I think that’s all. Luxor replied to your proposition, but I haven’t had the chance to read through it yet,“ Lou said and Harry nodded before he sat down at his desk. 

„I’ll take a look. If you don’t hear any glass shattering they agreed,“ Harry joked and Lou rolled his eyes. He liked the young man, loved that he did not take any bullshit from anyone and especially him.

„Oh before I forget, the delivery of the marble for your kitchen renovation has been pushed back again. I will call there and ask what the hold up is, once it’s not the middle of the night in Italy,“ Lou said and Harry sighed. 

„Should just have taken the damn stone that was available,“ he mumbled, a little annoyed. 

He had let his interior designer talk him into some (probably) overpriced marble for his kitchen countertops and island that had been delayed four times already. Everything was finished except for the marble. And while yes, he knew whining about his 16 million dollar penthouse being a construction site was whining on a level most people would bully him for, but he was still annoyed. 

„Do me a favour and just tell the interior designer to pick some available fucking stone if they postpone again? I really wanna be able to use my own kitchen after nine months!“ He said and Lou nodded. 

„I’ll let you know,“ he said before he closed the door behind him and let Harry alone in his office. 

He reached for the cup of coffee that had already been placed on his desk, taking a sip as his laptop powered up. 

Five hours before he gets to leave. 

All in all, your first full day teaching at the new school had gone very well. 

Miss Cooper, who was heavily pregnant and would leave at the end of this week, had taken you into the classroom and you had spend and hour answering every single question the kids had. 

Of course you having your own horse that was now living its best life on a ranch outside of your hometown (your father’s best friend had taken it in for you) was the one topic that was most interesting. 

During lunch break you went into the daycare to pick up Emily, wanting to have lunch with her. 

She told you about all the friends she had already made, clumsily stumbling over her own words when she forgot to take a breath. You were glad she was settling in so well. 

As promised you were waiting for her outside of the daycare once your class was finished for the day, Miss Cooper telling you she would take over seeing the kids out. You decided to join her instead, Emily settled against your hip. She was very tired.  

The school ground was filled with parents and children alike, all waiting to go home after a long day of learning. Emily’s head was leaning against your shoulder as you watched over the chaos. 

„There is a list with who is authorised to pick up the kids. I think you’ll have down the faces of the people who usually come to pick up down quickly. If someone else is picking a child up, the person in the morning usually lets us know. Like today, Daniel is not getting picked up by his mother, but by his uncle,“ she ran a finger down her list. 

„Here he is. Harry Castillo,“ Miss Cooper said and you swore you could feel your heart stop for a small moment, before it picked up again. 

„Oh I remember him. Super nice and super attractive,“ she whispered for only you to hear and you smiled a little. 

„Don’t let your husband hear that,“ you tried to joke, making her chuckle. She rubbed her hand over her belly and sighed. 

„Is a baby in there?“ Emily chose to ask in that moment, pointing towards her and you both laughed. 

„Indeed there is. A little baby boy that will hopefully come out sooner than later,“ she joked, with a fond smile. 

„Cool,“ was all Emily said and you rolled your eyes a little, kissing her head. 

„Daniel! Your uncle is here!“ Miss Cooper called over her shoulder and little footsteps were quickly approaching from behind. You pulled Emily closer, turned your back towards the front where he must be approaching. 

It couldn’t be him, right?

There probably were a million Harry Castillo’s out there. 

„Miss Cooper!“ You heard a voice behind you and you closed your eyes for a moment, your shoulders tensing because you knew that voice. 

„Mister Castillo. I heard there will be ice cream today?“ Miss Cooper made small talk while you still had your back towards them, seemingly keeping an eye on the children. 

„We are also gonna search for a birthday gift for his mom,“ he explained. 

„That sounds like a perfect plan,“ Miss Cooper said before she met your eyes. 

„This is the lovely woman who is gonna replace me when I go on maternity leave at the end of the week,“ she added your name and you took a deep breath before you finally turned around, lips pressed into a tight smile. 

His lips parted the moment his eyes found yours and he whispered your name. 

He was still as handsome as you remembered, a little more grey in his hair than before maybe. 

He blinked at you, then his focus slipped to Emily who was about to fall asleep in your arms. The girl who looked so much like him. 

„Uncle Harry!“ Daniel’s voice interrupted this reunion, crashing into Harry’s side who shook his head for a moment before he picked Daniel up with a groan and a wide smile. 

„Hey there buddy! You ready for ice cream?“

„For lunch?“ Daniel gasped and Harry winked at him with a nod. 

„Where is your coat?“ Miss Cooper asked and Daniel’s eye became big. 

„Inside,“ he whispered and Harry put him down. 

„Come on, I’m going in with you. Need to go to the restroom for the fiftieth time today,“ she joked, before walking away and into the building with Daniel. 

Which left you alone with him. 

When you finally looked at him again, he was already looking at you. He looked confused. Happy? Shocked? 

„You never called,“ he said quietly and you released a long breath. 

You shook your head. 

„How….“ He looked at Emily again who was now fast asleep in your arms. 

„How old is she?“ He croaked. 

„She’s turning three in four months,“ you whispered and you saw the moment he did the math, his lips parting, before he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. 

„And you never called?“ He whispered, eyes watering. 

„What we had? I didn’t want to… I didn’t think it would be the same. We didn’t know each other. Not really. I wanted it… to stay a beautiful memory. It’s why I threw your number away before I even reached the airport,“ you tried to explain. 

You looked away from him and over the by now almost empty schoolyard.

„And when I found out that I was pregnant? It was too late,“ you added quietly. 

„You are right. It was a beautiful memory,“ he said and you looked up at him. You heard the door behind you open. 

„But maybe now you’ll give me chance to make more of those memories?“ He asked and you gulped. 

„We can go!“ Daniel, wearing his coat now, impatiently took Harry’s hand who laughed. 

„I’ll see you tomorrow,“ Harry said, taking one last look at you and at Emily before he turned away, letting Daniel pull him towards the street. 

When they were gone, you released a breath you didn’t know you were holding in, your mind running wild. 

He was here.

Harry was here

In a city of over 8 million people you ran into him on your first day at work. 

And he knew about you and Emily now. 

Kissing her head you slowly turned around to walk into the building to get your bags. 

A part of you was scared what a man with as much money and power could do now that he knew he had a child. 

But the bigger part of you, the one that never admitted even to yourself that you fell in love with Harry on that island, was holding on to the hope that maybe all of this was faith. 

And the start of something beautiful. 

30+ year old women are the backbone of this website

Daddy? Sorry. Daddy? Sorry. Daddy? Sorry.

"And I'm trying my best to stand up for you in every way I can." 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️