Random Kid: Batman’s The Best JL Member

DP x DC - Uncle Goon, I Mean Bill

There’s a lot of Danny is related to x-villain or x-batfam member.

But I raise you, Danny is related to a “no-name” goon in Red Hood’s gang.

Imagine Danny accidentally killing the Joker and panic calling his criminal uncle asking for the best way to dispose of a body.

In this universe I imagine since Amity Park is a small town in the middle of nowhere, Danny has no clue who the Joker is and thinks he just killed a man.

Red Hood catches one of his men sneaking out of a meeting and when confronted the goon admits that he was going to help his nephew hide a body. Imagine Red Hood surprise when he sees it’s Joker’s body.

Red Hood falls in love.

Billy and Teth meet. By 버유 | BnotV_U_forDC

If Only...

If only Tony Stark and Stephen Strange just living a normal life in a normal world like us.

They might be just a normal couple.

Tony will work as a normal coffee shop owner and Stephen will work as a doctor.

Stephen is working in a hospital, which is across Tony’s coffee shop.

He will be Tony’s customer and they both will fall in love at the first sight when Stephen just transfer to that hospital.

Tony really likes how Stephen looks like he needs a bunch coffee every day because his hard work at the hospital.

Stephen really likes Tony’s smile because it’s just as addictive as his coffee.

Tony will do hospital visit when Stephen don’t even have a minute to take his daily caffeine.

Tony will put a cup of coffee on Stephen’s desk with a memo ‘Thank you for your hard work, Doc, I love you’ and Stephen almost die because too much happiness.

Stephen will take Tony on a road trip when he has a free day. They will talk about ‘my life before you’ and continue falling deeper in love because all the scars is slowly healed.

They like to laugh together.

They like to flirt with each other.

They don’t like to argue, they talk about problems.

They don’t like talking bullshit, they are honest to each other.

A simple ‘Good morning’ text.

A simple kiss on Tony’s forehead

As simple as saying ‘I love you’.

Everything is easy for them.

Like the universe really want them to be together and happy.

Like nothing can take their happiness because they are just living their life to the fullest and feeling great everyday.

Because it’s just a simple and normal world.

Yes yes…

Because they deserved this simple and normal world.

Batfam: Oh sure we can! (track Jason)

----------------------

Bruce: You know you can stay, do you?

Alfred: Indeed, but I'm sure Master Jason might take care of them.

A fully accurate, to-scale comparison of the Cullens’ heights

Bruce Wayne is used to ransom calls. They happen often enough despite his children's training, though it doesn't help that they sometimes purposely get themselves captured to later mock the kidnappers but he digressed.

This call was different. "We have Tim Drakes children" what did that even mean? Did they kidnap some random infants with black wisps of hair and blue eyes and just hope that Tim miiight have had a night of indiscretion in the last year or so to be concerned about?

Spoiler was the first on scene, actively teasing Red Robin about the whole fiasco. He swears they couldn't possibly be his and this had to be a scam of some kind. They had been assessing the situation from the rafters of the warehouse when another guy who looked like prime Batman Adoption Bait stormed the place and beat the crap out of the guys before zooming over to the infants.

The pair nodded at eachother and leaped down from the rafters and landed behind the man. He whirled around, holding the kids protectively to his chest, careful to support thier heads.

They asked him to confirm if he's the father which he did so readily. Red Robin got a wierd feeling though and asked to get a swab for testing, just to be sure.

The guy refused. That wasn't overly suspicious but the defensive way he acted was. Were these not his children? The bats chose to try a different tactic and asked him to wait for the police to arrive so they could confirm he was the twins father.

He ran.

Danny was having one of the worst days of his afterlife, and trust him, he's had some rough days. Being chased through Gotham at night by its local terrifying vigilantes while trying not to drop or harm the babies was hard, especially since he was trying to hide his powers. But really, what was he supposed to do?

He can't exactly just say "a ghost with genie powers overheard my mom wish for grandbabies from me and granted that wish but screwed us by making the other half of the babies DNA that of some random rich guy from another reality?" Cause thats going to go over soooo well.

Why do they care so much anyway? He doubts they're going to make the guy pay child support, not that Danny needs it. Then again its probably better to stay in this world where no one knows who he is and his children are safer...from his parents OSHA violations if nothing else.

Vlad couldn't enter this universe cause he couldn't get past the "source wall" whatever that was, but Danny and his babies had no problems so meh.

The bats had him cornered and hiding invisibly inside an abandoned arcade (why were so many places in this city abandoned???) the bats kept combing through the place looking for him. He knew they were about ready to give up looking for him when one of the babies sneezed.

The next thing he knew the littlest bat, Robin was right next to him, "Found you." Then he was knocked out.

Consider if you will: Billy gets hit by some spell that sort of shows the gods who are in his head All the Time. Not exactly though, mote like misty gray human shapped blobs. Like someone took the Smooth tool in photo shop to them to erase all the details and faces. They still have different body shapes, postures, and voices though. Everyone can see all seven- wait seven?

Everyone there, especially those who don't normally have bodies of their own are Very excited to be there with Sort Of Bodies. Mercury immediately jumped on the table and started to sing while doing the Freestyle Dance Teacher dance. Atlas and Zues are brawling in the back and Hercules cheers. Achilles talking to Billy who is Not Responding while trying to figure out how to copy the dances Mercury is doing on the table. Solomon is simply giving some long winded lecture that Billy is already tuning out as he introduces each of his patrons to his coworkers and says, "and yes. They are always Like This. 24/7. Actually I'm surprised Hercules isn't trying to over power Mercury's singing with his own."

Hal points to the 7th and final figure who is yet to be introduced, A very small and skinny figure tucked between Marvel's cape and his legs, face to blurred and smooth to know but clearly glaring and body language frightening, and asks who this one is and what power they give. Thinking fast and maybe with a touch of help from Solomon sending a bit of extra power, Marvel says, "oh this? He's shy and doesn't like his name being given out. And he may not be the strongest or the bravest or the fastest, but he is undoubtedly one of the most important blessings I have. The Heart and Mind of a child. He keeps me honest and nags me about doing the right thing simply because it's The Right Thing. He also reminds me of the beauty and wonder in the world in small and simple ways. Like the time he got so excited about finding a 5 leaf clover that he made me preserve it and keep it in my pocket because the 5th leaf *clearly* means it's *extra* lucky. Or he'll point out things like how pretty the sun set is or how nice ice cream is on a hot day and just. All the little things that remind me of why I fight in the first place. He's a good kid, even if he didn't get to be a kid for very long." Billy feels a bit awkward patting his own(?) Head but he's got to sell the illusion.

Everyone is awwing almost enough to not notice when Murcury starts singing "FROM THE WINDOW, TO THE WALL!" And gets the the shit smacked our of him by Achilles before he can finish the next verse.

This is so cute. Imagine that when Cap was introducing Billy he put emphasis on his job by telling them "He is the only difference between me and Black Adam" because that is why Shazam picked him.

Also I am living for the chaos the gods are bringing to the table, or on the table if you're Mercury.

This is my application to rewrite Twilight, these are the main changes I’m making. Please add on:

Rewritten twilight saga:

- There is no secret religious context to this

- Bella is exactly the same as book Bella

- She meets the cullens not through weird science class with Edward but cause she has gym with Emmett

- He’s like holy sh*t this girl is hilarious and brings her home

- Both Emmett and Bella get to swear

- Bella calls Edward p*ssboy

- Carlisle and Esme are both early 30’s

- Alice is 4’10”

- Emmett is a 6’7” behemoth

- Rosalie is 6 feet tall and curvy

- She is also pro choice

- Jasper is still the newest of the cullens but he was never a confederate soldier and is actually some college age gen z vampire getting his film degree at NYU

- He was drunk and hanging out with someone he didn’t know was a vampire

- And he said just send it

- He woke up three days later in his dorm a vampire

- Carlisle finds him sucking the blood out of rats in the subway while he’s in New York for a medical convention

- He coaxes him out of the train tunnels and brings him home

- Esme power washed jasper before he’s allowed in the house

- Alice has the same backstory as in the books cause it’s wild, but showed up alone to the Cullen house

- She was on the couch and said hey where’s my room

- Jasper and Alice are not dating but are very good buddies cause they’re both a little unhinged

- Belle and Edward go on one horrible date when they both realize that they’re gay

- Bella still hangs around with the cullens cause they just genuinely like her

- Esme likes to make snacks for when Bella comes over but doesn’t really remember appropriate portion sizes

- She makes Bella two dozen muffins for movie night

- Charlie even goes over for dinner sometimes

- The cullens are painfully bad at pretending to be human during said dinners

- Charlie knows something is up

- Everyone in Forks knows something’s up, but don’t say anything cause Carlisle is a really good doctor and they don’t want him to leave

- It’s not long before Bella and Alice start dating

- It’s as excellent as you would expect

- Bella loves her very small girlfriend

- However it is Alice that girlies Bella piggyback rides

- Bella is really good friends with all the Cullen siblings and has different human friendly activities she does with all of them

- Rosalie teaches Bella about cars

- Emmett takes her rock climbing or something

- Bella and jasper go to slam poetry together

- Even Bella and Edward hang out and they go to concerts together

- Esme likes to take Bella to big museums and get her opinions on all her new projects

- Carlisle and Bella watch gross medical documentaries together

- When Bella comes out to Jacob he actually respects her relationship and they stay friends

- The cullens still have to leave after jasper tried to kill Bella, but he’s less creepy and he feels reeeeeally bad

- He has anxiety so yeah he feels super bad and sends her an edible arrangement

- They actually answer her emails tho

- No angst, they tell her they’re coming back after they rehab jasper for a bit

- Edward still runs off to Italy and Alice still brings Bella to come get him cause he can’t read Bella’s thoughts but it’s only cause he’s literally so dramatic and is like “I’m done”

- They don’t let him be done

- They drag his ass home

- In eclipse, the volturi let the cullens take in Bree Tanner

- I’m still just not over her death

- Bella and all the cullen children see her and are like ahhhhhh baby

- Rosalie and Emmett become really close to her and Rosalie finally feels like the mother she’s always wanted to be

- Bree accidentally calls Rosalie mom one time, and it’s the first time Rosalie has cried since being turned

- Emmett 100% got a very large baby backpack and tried to get Bree to ride in it for a bit cause he wanted the “full dad experience”

- Jacob and Leah imprint on one another

- There will be no baby imprints

- People start noticing that Seth’s eyes always stay on jasper a little longer than normal

- He asks him film questions and jasper gets very flustered

- They go to the movies and Seth is driven crazy by Jasper’s full analysis of whatever movie they saw

- But he’s really cute

- They are very happy together

- Bella and Alice get married

- Bella still gets pregnant with a vampire baby cause she and Alice go to a sp*rm bank and it just so happens that some rando vampire donated and that’s what’s coincidentally used to impregnate Bella

- I just thought that would be funny

- Alice puts her foot down and says her child won’t be named resume

- Bella’s pregnancy is less traumatic cause they realize pretty early on and are like ?????

- They take care of her and it goes as well as it could

- Bella gets turned at the last minute and her and Alice still move to the cottage in the woods with their baby

- Bree is so obsessed with the baby

- She got really excited when she got to pick out some of the clothes

- Jacob still comes around cause him and Bella are still friends and of course he brings Leah

-Leah and Jacob are dating cause they both deserve to be happy (no babies involved)

- Leah becomes reluctant friends with the lady cullens

- Even if she says she doesn’t like them

- Jasper is very afraid of Leah

_______________________________________________

Corrections cause I was made aware about some stuff I forgot about (aka Leah is older than I thought and definitely a lesbian):

-Jake and Leah become reluctant friends

-It starts because Seth just wanted his friend and his sister to get along

-Eventually they realize that they don’t actually hate each other all that much

-Leah takes one look at some indie girl at the mall and boom, love at first sight

-Her girlfriend is super cool with the werewolf thing, which is surprising at first

-Turns our she’s a huge old monster movie fan and things it’s hilarious that her new girlfriend Leah IS a werewolf

-Leah introduces her to her (definitely not vampire) family friends the Cullens and her girlfriend loses it

-Jake continues with engineering and auto work and decides he’ll go to college for it

-Jake and Rosalie like to work on cars together because Rosalie likes being complimented and Jacob is never not impressed by her decades of experience

Oh boy, I love this! :-)

Idk what to put here so uhmm please just take those *:･ﾟ✧ sparkly *:･ﾟ✧ renaissance Batman redesigns

english: coconut oil

french: :)

english: oh boy

french: oil of the nut of the coco