UNCASUAL REMINDER!!!!!!!

Stuff my camp kids did during snack free time today from most to least expected.

1. Eat their snack (the primary thing they are expected to do)

2. Ships and sailors (normal camp game)

3. Big kids sang the National anthem in four part harmony while the little kids buried a tenth grader in leaves and grass. (I put these together because these events clearly were connected but I’m not sure how)

4. Held a “funeral” where the girl was resurrected by everyone singing “Love Story” over her dead body.

5. Turned on “fire ambiance eight hours” on somebody’s phone, buried the phone completely in sticks in the shape of a campfire, and roleplayed as monkeys/cavemen discovering fire for the first time.

Amazing

September 19th ~Rosekiller ~ Word Count: 316 ~ Prompt: Cheek @rosekillermicrofic

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

Evan stopped Barty in the doorway, “You're drunk. Stay somewhere else.”

Barty recoiled, “Excuse me?” 

“You need to go.”

“Don't tell me what to do.” He shot back.

“You know, maybe I’d be nicer if you weren’t drinking yourself to death.”

“Oh, fuck this. I'm leaving. I’ll be the good guy and turn the other cheek.”

“The good guy? You're always manipulating me!”

“Bullshit! I’m not the one kickin’ you out!”

“You just always need a reaction from me. Why? Does it get you off? Is that it? Is it some sick fantasy of yours?”

“Shut up!” Barty shouted.

Evan kept going, “Why me, huh? I'm the only one you do this to. Does making me angry turn you on? Did it finally click that you're just a pathetic, sadistic, closeted little-”

“SHUT THE FUCK UP!” Barty's words echoed in the silent room. He sighed, “You're right. I- I don't know how to... I'm in love with you, okay?” He blurted, "And I hurt you because it was easier than facing the truth."

It was a while before Evan managed to speak,

"You love me?" He whispered. Barty nodded,

"I always have."

Evan blew out a breath, “I love you too... Even though you’re a fucking maniac.”

Barty snorted, his eyes filled with tears, "Like you aren't just as crazy."

They jumped when a voice came from nowhere,

“Finally.” Regulus groaned, “I’ve been waiting for three years.”

“When the fuck did you get here?”

Regulus rolled his eyes, “I’ve been here all morning, nitwit. I’m still waiting for you idiots to kiss.”

Evan looked back to find Barty was already staring, he looked nervous. 

Evan didn’t hesitate, surging forward to kiss the absolute mess of a fucking man that he loved with all his heart.

Sure, they were toxic, maybe even a little insane. But somehow, they worked. And what kind of love isn’t a little crazy?

Barty, in flirtatious voice: Everyone says that I'm crazy. And they're right. I am. Crazy about you.

Evan: That's so sweet... But also you're crazy- like bat shit crazy.

Barty: That's not very nice of you to say.

Regulus: Barty, you're literally strapped to a metal bed in a mental health institute.

Pandora: In a closed ward.

Dorcas: So maybe stop with the flirting and let us save you.

Barty teaching me how to live my life, is something I didn't know I needed

Barty: give a man a fire and he'll be warm for one day. set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

Regulus: Barty-

Evan: Smart

This fucking thread about JK Rowling's shit world building.

Going to use this so much

The Complete DICKtionary

Or Robinese (or maybe you prefer the spelling Dick-tionary), whatever floats your boat. I wish people used all of these more often, they’re g-r-e-a-t. Including future slang + defenitions AND when it was first used for your pleasure!

Dick’s “unwords”:

Dick Grayson does NOT like affixes, and creates a-fix for them. Not all of these are opposites of an existing word though, and some are more punny than anything! In alphabetical order they are…

aster — a situation with good circumstance, a good positive experience. Opposite of disaster.

First used in: Schooled (01x05).

In a sentence: “If ‘dislike’ is the opposite of ‘like’, is ‘disaster’ the opposite of ‘aster’?”

concerted* — not worried, calm and composed. Opposite of disconcerted.

First used in: Drop-Zone (01x04)

In a sentence: “This mosquito’s mighty concerted over your pain.”

chalant — displaying anxiety, interest or enthusiasm. Opposite of nonchalant.

First used in: Alpha Male (01x13)

In a sentence: “Be as chalant as you’d like.”

ject** — to get rid off what’s left. 

First used in: Terminus (03x23)

In a sentence: “Now, let’s ject the rest!”

outfiltrate — infiltrating an infiltrator and disposing of them. Opposite of infiltrate.

First used in: Infiltrator (01x06)

In a sentence: “The infiltrators have been out-filtrated!”

renial — refusing to admit the truth or reality of something. Opposite of a being in denial.

First used in: The Pit (tie-in comic issue #11)

In a sentence: “You’re in denial Ra’s, ever though of being in ‘re-nial’ instead?”

sheveled — ordered, kept in a tidy way. Opposite of disheveled.

First used in: The Pendulum (tie-in comic issue #12)

In a sentence: “Really though he’d be a little less sheveled after that.”

turbed — being in a good state of mind or to be calm. Opposite of disturbed.

First used in: Welcome to Happy Harbour (01x03).

In a sentence: “Let’s see if you’re more turbed once we kick your can!”

traught — to stop worrying, to keep calm. Opposite of distraught.

First used in: Homefront (01x12)

In a sentence: “Well, get traught or get dead!”

whelmed*** — being level-headed or experiencing an event that falls neither below or above expectations. A “between word” for underwhelmed and overwhelmed.

First used in: Independence Day (01x01).

In a sentence: “You’re overwhelmed, Freeze was underwhelmed. Why isn’t anyone ever just whelmed?”

Bart’s future slang:

Bart Allen comes from 40 years in the future, and brought back some slang**** (and derivatives) that now everyone uses. Surprisingly, there hasn’t been a time paradox because of this. Yet.

crash — something good, awesome and rebellious.

First time used: Bloodlines (02x06)

In a sentence: “That’s so crash!”

meat — a derogary term for a non-Reach organic lifeform.

First time used: Salvage (02x04)

In a sentence: “Half the meat at Comic-Con is from my era.”

mode — feeling down or being defeated.

First time used: Bloodlines (02x06)

In a sentence: “Feeling the mode.”

Thanks for reading, now go and unleash your inner Dick and Bart to infect your friends with some nonsense blather!

*this is already a real word, not something Dick made up. It is still counted in the DICKtionary though.

**plenty of prefixes would suffice for “ject” (e-, sub-, re-, de-), and all of them are used. Also, Wally was the one who said “ject” first!

***technically, the word “whelmed” serves the same purpose as “overwhelmed”, with the latter being a word that superseded the former. This is apparently NOT the case on Earth-16, as no one actually corrects Dick on it (not even Artemis, who’s a college-level English proffesor). Who knew?

****please note that these words have different meanings depending on who uses them. To the Reach, “crashing the mode” refers to a loss of control or failure. Humans have inverted it, and to them it means success. The future slang defenitions are from the human perspective and it’s thus why it’s reffered to Bart’s future slang.

If only I had someone to do this for me.. guess I'll stick to my girl dinners

✨Girl Dinner ✨

Simon Riley X Reader

A/N: Not proofread. Will probs go back and edit it. Please don’t throw things at me. xoxo

CW: None

—————————————————————————

If you knew Simon was coming over around dinner time, you would always have a healthy, balanced meal waiting for him. He works so hard and you don’t mind doing this for him. You always made sure to have a protein, starch, vegetable, and a dessert. Need to keep him the big boy he already is. He deserves it, okay!

But what happens when Simon decides to comes by unannounced and he arrives to you having ✨girl dinner✨

Honestly getting hit by a bus might have been better than the day you had at work. Everyone else’s problems somehow became your problem. You swear you work with some of the most incompetent people in your area. You just have to!

No one forecasted rain today either, but here you are soaked almost down to your underwear from the storm. You didn’t think to bring an umbrella and now you are paying the price. Now you are 4 blocks from home, drenched, agitated, hungry, and fucking tired.

Elevator for the win tonight! The thought of going up 4 flights of stairs makes you misty eyed. The hallways to your apartment feels miles longer when you are this tired, but you trudge to the door. Once inside, it’s time for your after work routine. Door locked. Shoes wherever they land. Comfiest pajamas. Latest season of Hell’s Kitchen. Beer in hand. Dinner time!!!!

After staring in your fridge for 10 minutes dissociating to cope with your mundane existence, you grab whatever looks edible and the least amount of work. You finally land on an air fried chicken patty, 3 pieces of swiss cheese, 2 yogurt tubes, a piece of salami, a snack bag of fritos, baby carrots, and half a cucumber. Ah perfect!

You sit down on the couch with a little shoulder shimmy, excited to dig in. As you pick up your chicken patty (uncut and with your fingers because you are not dirtying MORE dishes), three loud knocks reign on your front door. Your left eye twitches for just a moment before you heave a heavy sigh. “I paid my fucking rent.” You say to yourself as you get off the couch. Stomping doesn’t even begin to describe the way your feet the hit floor as you make your way to the door. Sorry Miss. Lutton downstairs!! I’ll have to send her some cookies.

You don’t even look before you swing the door open, ready to cuss out whoever dared to disturb your already horrible day. “What could you possib-“ The word dies in your mouth as your face comes square to your boyfriend’s chest. A chuckle leaves him as he stares down at his little firecracker. You raise your head to look back at him before giving him the most cheesiest, sarcastic smile. “Well hello there handsome. You lost? Why don’t you come on inside and I can help you find your way” You say up to him while putting your hands on your hips and smirking at him. He doesn’t say anything before he shakes his head and sighing. However, the blush on his cheeks doesn’t go unnoticed by you.

You move out of the way as he makes his way in your apartment. He places his boots next to yours and walks his way to your couch. A heavy sigh leaves his mouth as he takes his balaclava off. You smile as you walk toward him and sit down on the couch, giving him your full attention. “So what’s shaking” You bop his nose “Bacon.” He stares at you incredulously. You send a full teeth smile back at him.

“How was work?” He moves on from your weird antics. “Oh the WORST. Samantha would NOT shut up today. I swear to god Brian kept emailing me just to piss me off. We are in the middle of this project and he does 1 thing and then asks what else needs done and-“ You stop talking when you notice his focus is on your plate on the table. “Oh!!! Do you want dinner? I can make something.” You go to get up before two hands pulls you back down onto the couch. A squeak did NOT leave your mouth you do not care what Simon says. (HA)

“What’s all that then?” He points to your untouched beautiful dinner. “My dinner?” You say back in a sarcastic tone “A chicken patty, kids yogurt, 4 baby carrots, half a cucumber, a singular piece of salami, fritos, and 3 slices of cheese. That’s your dinner?” He looks at me with a mix of worry, confusion, and plain humor. “Yes. It’s girl dinner.” You explain back to him. “Girl dinner.” He states back, no real question in his voice. “Yeah. it’s all of the food pyramid. Dairy, meats, veggies, fruit, grains.” You point to each one as you say them. “What’s so wrong?” You look back in confusion. “I’m proud of myself.” You huff before grabbing your plate.

“Lovie. Do you make special meals when I come over?” The slice of swiss cheese in your hand freezes as he says this. “I mean, Yeah. You need a home cooked meal. You deserve a home cooked meal. This is what I normally have.” He stares blankly at you. He stands, says nothing, grabs your plate and takes it to the kitchen. “HEY. I was eating that.” You stand and begin to make your way to the kitchen. “Stop.” You hear and shit yessir. I am stopped.

“Go sit back down.” He says as he grabs pots and pans from the cupboard. “Simon. What are you doing? I am perfectly fine eating my plate I made.” You sit down on the couch and cross your arms. Borderline pouting one would say. “Yeah well i’m not. Sit there and i’ll bring you this when I am done.” You huff and watch television. You hear him mutter to himself periodically. Something along the lines of “the fuck ‘s a girl dinner” and “not eating properly”. 40 minutes, a beer, and an episode of hell’s kitchen later, Simon appears from the kitchen with homemade chicken parmesan, a side salad, and garlic bread. He places the plate on the coffee table and returns to the kitchen to get us drinks. You can’t lie, your stomach starts to grumble at the smell. He returns with 4 beers and places a kiss on the crown of your head before sitting down next to you and mauling his plate.

Okay so maybe girl dinner has NOTHING on something Simon made from. You can come to terms with that. “No more special meals just for me. We will cook together on nights i’m here and i’ll make sure you have enough groceries the other nights i’m not.” You look at him quizzically. “You don’t have to do that.” He stops eating, smiles at you, and kisses your forehead. “Want to.” You smile back at him and settle in to eat your meal, courtesy of the love of your life.

Don't mind me, I'll just sit here waiting for the next chapters like a good girl.

Mafia AU Masterlist

Pairing : Mafia!141 x Showgirl/Law Student!Reader

Synopsis: You’re a law student who performs shows at night, and you catch the eyes of a group of dangerous man.

CW: May contain mature content, poly relationship, afab!reader, very suggestive themes, and violence, manipulative behavior, stalking.

Statues : ongoing

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7

Part 8

[More to come]

🍑I do not authorize others to translate or republish my work on any other platform, or through any AI programs.

Petition to call Bartylus “Crack” (Crouch + Black)

Regulus: …So I just let them have it

Barty: *shocked gasp*

Regulus: what? I have a heart

Barty: *even bigger gasp*

Evan: tsk no no it doesn’t prove anything. it could still be made out of stone.