Quarter-Finals, Match Two: Primož Roglič V. Tadej Pogačar

Tadej Pogačar is through!

Round One, Match Eight: Michał Kwiatkowski v. Tadej Pogačar

Michał Kwiatkowski Propaganda

No propaganda submitted.

Tadej Pogačar Propaganda

No propaganda submitted.

Round One, Match Six: George Bennett v. Primož Roglič

George Bennett Propaganda

Always a DNF in my heart, and just look at him

Primož Roglič Propaganda

No propaganda submitted.

Round Two, Match Eight: Remco Evenepoel v. Thibaut Pinot

Remco Evenepoel Propaganda

No propaganda submitted.

Thibaut Pinot Propaganda

No propaganda submitted.

Round One, Match Five: Neilson Powless v. Fabio Jakobsen

Neilson Powless Propaganda

I mean just look at how happy he was starting that many days in the polkadot jersey in the tour this year

Fabio Jakobsen Propaganda

how can you not love a man getting back to such a good level after that harrowing crash. The drama of the 16 sec he had left in one of the mountain stages in the tour of 2022 was *chef's kiss*

THE FINAL: Tadej Pogačar v. Jonas Vingegaard

All propaganda under the cut:

Tadej Pogačar Propaganda

Jonas Vingegaard Propaganda

He is CUTE, he is SMOL, he has a CUTE NOSE and FRECKLES and EYES AS BLUE AS THE ENDLESS SKY---

OK no but seriously, he's amazing. As absurd as it can sound since this is one of the best riders in the world, he's always the underdog in people's minds. Somehow, no one ever thinks "OK I think Jonas is going to win this stage today", and when he does, they're like "OK he won but he still wasn't out of this world, it's because the others were having a bad day", and when he has a stellar day they're like "HE'S DOPING FOR SURE". It's like nothing he ever does is good enough and YET he doesn't give a fuck and keeps performing despite the pressure.

Being consistently good when everyone expects you to win is talent, but being consistently good when everyone hopes you'll lose is something else too.

And he's an incredible human being to boot. He's kind, he's compassionate, he's sensitive, he doesn't have a mean bone in him, he's affectionate, thoughtful. Remember that time during TdF 2022 when he asked Grischa to tell him if he could slow down at the end of the TT to let Wout win the stage? Yeah. He's that kind of guy.

He's a crier. It's cute and it makes me want to hug him. He loves his family and he always has a good word for his rivals and he's humble and I relate so much to his introverted personality and he's a cinnamon roll and a cutie patootie. But when he puts on his sunglasses, he looks like A WAR MACHINE.

(but a cute one)

He got a lot of heat when he didn't wait for Sepp on the Angliru during this Vuelta, only the instructions of the team before that clusterfuck stage were to battle it out between them and he probably liked it even less than us because he wanted Sepp to win the Vuelta from the beginning.

And need I say anything about the absolute sportsmanship of this man? When he lost his balance in the Col of Spandelles, TdF 2022, Tadej didn't miss the opportunity and powered away from him, but when Tadej was the one who crashed two minutes later, he waited for him. HE WAITED FOR HIM.

And he made the sport all the better for it and gave us one of the finest images in cycling history.

if you like MvDP, consider that though in these days when van der Poel is showing up with a mullet, Jonas did long hair earlier and better.

though there has been a change of style

If you like WvA, consider that some of the BEST hug pictures only exist due to Jonas being the kind of teammate whom others want to hug AND eminently sized for hugs/lifts

(we've all seen this but we can look at it again)

He's got sportsmanship. He's got incredible skills. He's even a dad! Maybe he's not always good at smiling for the cameras but he can sure smile for his family

Most importantly, he's a TdF winner with the time trial of the year and he cannot ride his goddamn bike without hands without his body language screaming oh god someone help me

Semi-Finals, Match Two: Matej Mohorič v. Jonas Vingegaard

Matej Mohorič Propaganda

YouTube

Post-race interview - Stage 19 - Tour de France 2023

The Tour de France 2023 will hold its Grand Départ in the Basque Country, with a first stage in Bilbao on 1st July, and will finish in Paris

Jonas Vingegaard Propaganda

He is CUTE, he is SMOL, he has a CUTE NOSE and FRECKLES and EYES AS BLUE AS THE ENDLESS SKY---

OK no but seriously, he's amazing. As absurd as it can sound since this is one of the best riders in the world, he's always the underdog in people's minds. Somehow, no one ever thinks "OK I think Jonas is going to win this stage today", and when he does, they're like "OK he won but he still wasn't out of this world, it's because the others were having a bad day", and when he has a stellar day they're like "HE'S DOPING FOR SURE". It's like nothing he ever does is good enough and YET he doesn't give a fuck and keeps performing despite the pressure.

Being consistently good when everyone expects you to win is talent, but being consistently good when everyone hopes you'll lose is something else too.

And he's an incredible human being to boot. He's kind, he's compassionate, he's sensitive, he doesn't have a mean bone in him, he's affectionate, thoughtful. Remember that time during TdF 2022 when he asked Grischa to tell him if he could slow down at the end of the TT to let Wout win the stage? Yeah. He's that kind of guy.

More under the cut:

He's a crier. It's cute and it makes me want to hug him. He loves his family and he always has a good word for his rivals and he's humble and I relate so much to his introverted personality and he's a cinnamon roll and a cutie patootie. But when he puts on his sunglasses, he looks like A WAR MACHINE.

(but a cute one)

He got a lot of heat when he didn't wait for Sepp on the Angliru during this Vuelta, only the instructions of the team before that clusterfuck stage were to battle it out between them and he probably liked it even less than us because he wanted Sepp to win the Vuelta from the beginning.

And need I say anything about the absolute sportsmanship of this man? When he lost his balance in the Col of Spandelles, TdF 2022, Tadej didn't miss the opportunity and powered away from him, but when Tadej was the one who crashed two minutes later, he waited for him. HE WAITED FOR HIM.

And he made the sport all the better for it and gave us one of the finest images in cycling history.

if you like MvDP, consider that though in these days when van der Poel is showing up with a mullet, Jonas did long hair earlier and better.

though there has been a change of style

If you like WvA, consider that some of the BEST hug pictures only exist due to Jonas being the kind of teammate whom others want to hug AND eminently sized for hugs/lifts

(we've all seen this but we can look at it again)

He's got sportsmanship. He's got incredible skills. He's even a dad! Maybe he's not always good at smiling for the cameras but he can sure smile for his family

Most importantly, he's a TdF winner with the time trial of the year and he cannot ride his goddamn bike without hands without his body language screaming oh god someone help me

Round One, Match One: Jasper Philipsen v. Sepp Kuss

Jasper Philipsen Propaganda:

I have a soft spot for a somewhat cocky, pretty sprinter

Sepp Kuss Propaganda:

Vuelta 2023, need I say more. And he even brought his dog there with its little special pass.

you absolutely cannot forget world's greatest domestique and 2023 Vuelta winner (GC Kuss!!!!)

The little domestique that could! He has been steadily working for tjv, been integral in their victories, just participated in all 3 grand tours, helped lead the team to victory, and won one himself. He's also cute af, married a spanish woman and speaks the language well. Oh, and he has an adorable puppy. He is an adorable puppy

Round Two, Match Seven: Jonas Vingegaard v. Marc Soler

Jonas Vingegaard Propaganda

No propaganda submitted.

Marc Soler Propaganda

He may be ranked #130 in the UCI rankings but he is #1 in my heart ❤️

More propaganda under the cut.

As you may know, Marc Soler moved to UAE Team Emirates in 2022 and has since been one of Tadej Pogačar's most valuable mountain domestiques – pulling the peloton for kilometres on end, being there in the final group before Tadej and Jonas start attacking each other. Then there's stage 17 this year; his infamous ‘scary eyes’ and comforting hand, pulling his leader up the Col de la Loze and helping maintain his podium place.

However! There is much more to Marc Soler than that! Before 2022, his entire professional career was spent with Movistar – that blue-clad stalwart of Spanish cycling hopes. With them, he was again an invaluable domestique to the likes of Enric Mas, Alejandro Valverde, Nairo Quintana, and Richard Carapaz. In the intra-team ~drama~ that plagued Movistar’s 2019/2020 seasons, he remained if not neutral, but relatively uninvolved. This is well-documented in their documentary ‘Movistar: The Least Expected Day’, the series that first endeared him to me.

In 2018, he had his day as a GC challenger – a week, really, swooping to victory at Paris-Nice to take the overall win with a fantastic attack on the final stage to make up more than a minute on Simon Yates

Now let me discuss stage 5 of the Vuelta 2022: Marc’s second stage win at this race – the first being in 2020. There was a battle for the breakaway, and Marc missed out! Never fear – the intrepid Spaniard did what he does best; launch a seemingly futile attempt to bridge, riding solo or in a small group for 50km+ that never really gets anywhere. Not today, though! He joined them, when Stewart attacked he countered brilliantly and rode solo for the final 15km. Brilliant stuff. This won him the stage, the combativity award, and later actions brought him the overall super-combative award, all while supporting Juan Ayuso to the podium.

Oh yeah, did I mention the mullet?? And the earring??

Outside of racing, he comes across as a genuinely nice guy – though I have yet to come across an interview in English, translations of Spanish-language seem cheerful and respectful, having fun in UAE’s social media videos!

He recovered brilliantly from having to abandon in both the Giro and the Tour in 2021 – breaking both of his arms in a crash in the latter, yet soldiering on and completing the stage.

Soler in his natural habitats; pulling the peloton up some steep, steep slopes, or breaking away for a hail-Mary attack that’s seemingly done only for the sheer joy of doing so. He’s a valuable domestique, brilliant rider, and most certainly embodies the spirit of ciclismo!

Thus concludes my Soler propaganda.

Vamos, Marc!

Quarter-Finals, Match One: Mathieu van der Poel v. Wout van Aert

Mathieu van der Poel Propaganda

As much as I hate the white bib shorts, Mathieu can definitely pull them off. Hate to admit it but he *does* look good in white.

Wout van Aert Propaganda

No propaganda submitted.

Jonas Vingegaard is through!

Quarter-Finals, Match Four: Jonas Vingegaard v. Thibaut Pinot

Jonas Vingegaard Propaganda

No propaganda submitted.

Thibaut Pinot Propaganda

how can you not vote for absolute cycling legend Tibo. The small documentary they made at the end of the season? Fucking broke me man.

Chala-la-lala-lala TIIIBOOO PINOOOOO

Please accept Thibaut age 7 in his cycling gear as additional propaganda (x)

He was full of dreams, and already he wanted to be “Champion of the Tour de France”.