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story of us k.h

if i could write a story about my life then i would dedicate a whole book about just you and i. i could write pages and pages about everything, from the moment i saw you to the moment i fell for you to the moment everything started to go downhill. 

chapter upon chapter about you. i would dedicate a whole chapter about how dull my life was before you came into it and how you managed to make it so bright so very quickly. i’ll write about how you caught my eyes across the room, drawing me in and then getting me hooked by saying “hello”. 

when they read that they’ll still be naïve to the future, just like i was, they’ll say “they’re the lucky ones” envying our young and picture-perfect love, just like our friends did all those years ago.

my next chapter would be about honeymoon phase, where we couldn’t get our hands off of each other, becoming each other’s oxygen, only being able to live if we were next to each other. how different that is to now. no longer am i the girl i was when i was with you. no longer am i always by your side, no longer having a seat reserved next to you and now having to look for an empty seat in a room full of people. you gave me the key to the cage i didn’t even know i was locked in. i don’t even know where you are in your story anymore, maybe you’re going through your redemption arc, i don’t know.

the chapter after that would be about the fall. not the falling in love part, the falling out of love part. i’ll write about how much easier everything could’ve been if we had just talked to each other, properly. if i had known what i know now maybe we could’ve had it all, we could’ve made it. if i had told you more about me, then maybe we could’ve both broken down the walls i built up. i would write to you kai. not to the readers of our story, but to you. i would write to you about how much i wish, no pray that we could’ve made it work or at least at the minimum, i wish we could’ve at least made it end a little bit better. i wish we didn’t fight as much and i wish we didn’t lose our voices as much due to the words we used to shout at each other. but we can’t change the past, no matter how much i wish i could. 

then i would write about the now, how we manage to stand alone on two opposite sides of the room, not speaking, not looking at each other, just watching the world pass by. i could laugh until my stomach aches at the irony of the situation i found myself in but at the same time i could cry out in anger and sorrow because at the end of the day i still love him because he was there for me, through thick and thin, even when we were at the end. i will write about how much i hope this is affecting you, killing you that you can’t hold me anymore because that’s how i feel. i hope you think of me when you wake up to the moment you fall asleep because i do. and no amount of silly blind dates is going to get you out of my head, but you’ll leave one day because life moves on, we’ll move on, well unless you’ve already moved on but i doubt that, we both had a strong hold on each other’s hearts and you know that.

i wish i could know what you would write kai. would you say the same things about me, would you blame it all on me or would you take the blame? how you would you describe me? would you say i was just another face in the crowd or would you describe me as if you were romeo talking about his sweet juliet. i guess you could say we’re kind of like them only that our families aren’t mortal enemies and did actually love us being together or the fact that we don’t take our lives at the end of our story. okay, maybe that was a bad example but what i mean to say, is that we were a tragedy, star crossed lovers perhaps.

i wonder if you would write about how stupid i defiantly look right now, because i would. i could write about how i’m trying to make myself look busy and that no matter how hard i try, it probably isn’t working at all. you’re probably staring at me and thinking ‘what is going on inside her head?’ and if only you could speak those words out loud, i would be able to say it’s because ‘i love you’. 

it’s a shame i’ll never be able to publish this big book idea of mine, i mean i could, it’s just i don’t want to because it isn’t just my story, it’s ours. that’s besides the point though, because either way i will never say any of this out loud, it will just be another one of those moments that could’ve led to a different path in my life. maybe in another life, we could’ve found each other after all this and i would tell you it all and maybe we could’ve made this damn book a reality but that’s just another ‘would’ve could’ve should’ve’ moment. if only we weren’t so hot headed and quick to jump to conclusions and not so stubborn to admit that we were in fact the person in the wrong. if only i wasn’t such a perfectionist, thriving off of praise and needing that constant reassurance, telling me that i’m doing good or if only you didn’t hold your pride so highly and tightly, unlike how you would hold me. 

if this is my story then i’m scared to see how it ends because i feel as though we have a few more empty pages left to fill, and would you please stop acting as if this is nothing kai? why won’t you just come up to me and tell me you miss me or at least say a ‘hi’ or something. i would be right up for doing that but i’m lost for words right now and i can’t put together the words to describe how much i miss you, hell i’m sure if i went up to you right now, crickets would begin to start chirping, that’s how loud the silence is. almost suffocating.

look at us now kai, we’re just watching the walls and tables collect dust by how long we’ve been avoiding each other and it’s killing me and i can’t help but want you here, in my arms holding me close. i want to know kai, i really want to know whether or not you feel the same way as i do. did you happen to miss me after i left? is this space between us making you want to itch closer to me or am i just making this tension up? how much i curse the world for making us ‘the star-crossed lovers’, i mean how unfair is that, why are we the ones that have fallen victim to this god awful ‘trope’.  

we’re acting as if we’re part of a contest, one where we have to ignore the one person we so desperately want to be close to. i don’t like this game, no in fact i despise it, liking it much better when you were with me, whispering the sweetest words i’m sure the world has ever heard. so many things i wish i had said to you kai but we had such little time, it was practically impossible to squeeze it all in, meaning that i couldn’t. so, we have to accept that not all stories end in a happy ending, and that although the prince did help the damsel in distress leave the danger behind her, the damsel is managing perfectly fine on her own, no matter how much she does miss said prince. 

this is how we end our story though, me and you on opposite sides of the room, not uttering a single world and only taking soft breaths avoiding eye contact with each other but knowing that the other is there. two people who were in love but just not meant to be.

“soft” launch,insta au-kepa arrizabalaga

liked by clairerose,kepaarrizabalaga and 700,379 others

yourusername it’s the most wonderful time of the year

ynsaidwhat i’m not saying you have some explanation to do because kepa just posted same picture on his story but you do😳

diariesofyn kepa and y/n stans rise!!

liked by kaihavertz29,yourusername and 717,799 others

kepaarrizabalaga merry christmas from the alps🤍

kuwchelsea who is that omg?? i just pray she doesn’t break your heart because we all know what happened last time…

ynlovebot they are making snow angels together STOP MY HEART

ynfilms okay maybe love does exist after all

kaihavertz29 watch your legs,we need you back in one piece😉

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liked by cmpulisic,yourusername and 977,977 others

kepaarrizabalaga long days,but easier by your side

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liked by clairerose,kepaarrizabalaga and 970,379 others

yourusername breaking my silence,nobody pinch me because i finally found my prince charming🤍

kepaarrizabalaga ms. arrizabalaga has a nice ring to it😉

sophiaaemelia i don’t know about that,it doesn’t exactly roll off the tongue tbh

izakova 😆😆

ynsaidwhat that’s definitely one way to soft launch but congrats omg!!!

diariesofyn it’s happening,everybody stay calm

kuwchelsea wait that should’ve been me,but since it’s you,i will let it slide

ynfilms her next post with him is gonna be with their kid,mark my words

sunset vows insta au (m. mount)

created in collaboration with @masonmiamor ! the matching fic will be linked here when it is uploaded 🫶🏼

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yourusername

liked by yourbff, masonmount & 1,293,947 others

yourusername i take this magnetic force of a man to be lover 😚💍💕

tagged: masonmount

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*comments have been limited*

masonmount my wife 😍😍😍

benchilwell congratulations guys!

sophiaaemelia mr & mrs mount 💕💕

cmpulisic okay but… your husband’s got a lil dumpy 🤭

cartiamallan ❤️

england 💙💙💙💙💙💙

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masonmount

liked by chelseafc, yourusername & 2,194,836 others

masonmount yes she’s mine, my mj forever💕💕

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chelseafc congratulations to you both 💙

reecejames congratulations mate!

yourusername & you’re my peter parker🥹

masonmount no i’m your spiderman

cmpulisic can you climb walls?

masonmount no

benchilwell exactly mate. you’re peter parker.

landonorris congratulations 🧡🧡🧡

checkmate, i couldn't lose - christian pulisic

pairing: christian pulisic x reader

author’s note: based on interview christian gave in 2021,let me know if you liked this<3

word count: 700 words

from feeling you are on top of the world to watching your loved one in the coffin,life sure is unpredictable.

it was hard to comprehend why was this happening to christian,but there was nothing either of you could’ve done to bring his grandfather back to life. it all happened so quickly,he never had a chance to say goodbye to him.

to make timing even worser,it was a week before he planned to introduce you to him. it was about time because his grandfather wanted to meet who is that girl that got him utterly infatuated. not to mention he was the first one to hear all about you. it was not a secret that christian trusted his judgment very much.

even though unfortunately he never got to meet you,he was absolutely sure that you were “the one” for christian. the way his eyes light up everytime he would even think about you,the way he could not help to smile when he was taking about you… all the signs were there.

and yet there was not a single sign that was the last time he will ever see him alive and play chess with him. you immediately knew something terribly wrong happened when u saw a tear falling from his left eye after answering his sister’s call. quiet “what’s wrong” escaped from your lips as you sat down on floor next to him.

he still couldn’t process these news and it felt like time has stopped. all he could do at that moment melt down into your embrace.

it took him a while to realize that opening up is never not something to be ashamed of. he thought he was too tough to need help and didn’t wanted to be a bother to you with his rants.

eventually, you assured him when it’s all on him,it can feel like a lot. that’s not how it should be and it won’t be as long as he has you by his side. this was the first time he broke down in tears in front of you even though he showed vulnerability before,it was nothing like this.

it felt like hours passed before he managed to say devastating news out loud. this meant your trip to his family is gonna happen sooner than you planned. too bad it was under these unfortunate circumstances.

one of the reasons he didn’t really open to anyone because he couldn’t stand “i totally understand how you feel” sentence. already prone to over-analyzing everything,this just made him feel like nobody is actually listening. somehow you knew he hated hearing that and you never used it. even when you didn’t feel whatever was bothering him on your own skin,you did understand it.

however,this time you understand from your own experience. you were very close with your grandparents as a kid. they taught you pretty much there is to learn. reading,tying your shoelaces,writing,manners…and when both of them passed away in a short period of time,it felt unreal.

him and his grandfather had their thing and it was playing chess. after the funeral,christian wanted to see his room one last time. you wanted to give him privacy to do it but he wanted you to come with him. he took your hand and gently pulled you to him. when you entered room,his look was immediately on chess board next to vinyl recorder and you started to put pieces together.

“wait,that’s why you have tattoo of chess piece?”

“one of reasons,yeah. he taught me how to play when i was younger,but i am nowhere near level.”

“i didn’t even know you knew how to play it.”

“i guess i never mentioned it,but me and kante sometimes play it on plane. we always have good battles but it’s hard to beat him.”

“i’m here if you wanna feel like beth from queen’s gambit. absolutely clueless about how any of this is working.”

“hm,i think out of all people you would understand it. “

“why?”

“he used to say that life is like chess because it consists of very limited number of moves. you need to make good use of them and create your own opportunities-just like i did with you.”

“well whatever you did is definitely working on me.”

“checkmate,i couldn’t lose.”

no way u really made me a character 🥺🥺 but on serious note,this series is mind blowing u guys have to read this😍😍

juno! j.b pt.3

my knuckles rapidly knock on mel’s door as i try to tame my breath. when the door finally swings open i see mel let out a long sigh, obviously not expecting me.

“what are you doing here, idiot? you told me i was supposed to get you at four it’s three!”

“i couldn’t do it. it reminded me of a dentist you know? and they had these stupid magazines with those quizzes on what season you are and then the receptionist kept giving me the evil eyes and kept trying to give me these weird condoms that made her boyfriends balls smell like pie and oh su-chin was there! did you know that the baby has fingernails? i mean can you believe it! fingernails!”

mel grimaces yet her eyes are amused.

“oh, gross. do you reckon the baby could scratch your vag when it comes out” 

i ignore her comment.

“i’m staying pregnant, mel”

she shushes me quickly.

“keep your voice down mate, my mum’s creeping around somewhere. she doesn’t that we’re you know”, her voice goes down into a whisper “…sexually active.”

what does that even mean?

“ oh… well i was thinking about everything and i thought ‘oh! there’s someone out there that would want my baby!’ you know like the women who can’t have kids or maybe some lovely lesbians”

“but…. you’ll get huge and your tits are going to lactate like a cow and you’ll have to tell everyone that you’re pregnant!” 

“i know but maybe they’ll all love me for being so caring!” 

“ or maybe they will also lose their shit and be super mad at you and possibly not let you graduate or most importantly let you go to the alps for spring break.”

“ i don’t care about the alps, jude and i were planning on taking a trip to portsmouth for spring break anyway.”

mel sighs in response, exhausted by the constant name drops of jude.

“well, maybe you could look at one of those adoption ads i mean they’re literally filling the newspapers at this point.”

“there are ads? for people to become parents?”

“oh yeah tons! you can sell anything from iguanas to exercise bikes to babies! it’s crazy what you can do!”  

“come on mel, you really think i want to scope out possible parents in the local newspaper! that’s so dodgy! it’s like buying clothes at the corner shop! i won’t be looking at the newspaper advertisements”

we sit on the bench under the pretty tree in the big park, as we look through the numerous amount of advertisements in the newspaper.

“the newspaper sucks.” 

it really does. never have i wanted to fall asleep more than i have when i was reading this garbage.

“i know juno, but at least it sucks for free and what else were we meant to do today?” 

she’s right of course, we have nothing else to do today. 

after mel finishes speaking, we continue to turn the pages in silence when she find a couple who’s teeth are as blue as water, their lips just as blue as them well. the articles reads “wholesome, spiritually wealthy couple who have find true love with each other.” 

she turns her head to face me, i’m guessing to check if i’m paying attention to the article in her hand, though i’m off in another world, looking at a selling for a piano. my mind goes straight to jude when i see the advertisement. 

“ did you see there’s a guy here who’s giving away a piano, free for the hauling as well! i reckon we should get it and haul it to jude’s house.

“you’re not listening”

“no, i heard you loud and clear but i just can’t give the baby to someone that will describe themselves as “wholesome” you know. to be honest, i’m just looking for someone a bit more on the edge.

“well then what do you have in mind, a family of disturbed loners who are into knife play and incest? cmon juno they’re going to be the person that’s going to have a human life! one that’s been inside of you at that!”

“no mel! i was thinking more along the lines of a graphic designer, in their thirties, and has a cool asian wife who dresses awesome and plays bass perfectly, but i’m trying to keep my choices open.”

“all right, oh how about this one? a healthy, educated couple who are seeking an infant to join our family of five, you will be compensated please help us complete the circle of love.“

nope. nope. nope.

“big no, they sound exactly like a cult and they have three kids already, greedy guys! not the one for mini me”

“y/n! you need to take a look at this one.”

mel points to the newspaper and i look down to paper. it reads “educated, successful couple who wish to….” 

but i don’t get to finish reading because i take a look at their faces. their beautiful faces that are pretty even in black and white, 

their names were betty and aaron jones.

and they were definitely the future parents of my baby.

jude sits in his room, listening to the playlist that y/n had recommend to him and the same one that played when they went to fourth base.

he stares at the pages of his yearbook, specifically at the photo of y/n and the message that she wrote for him, and him only. it says “hey jude! i hope one day you get off of this photo with your lotion that you not so secretly keep in your drawer! joking (well…) love y/n.

god was he in love with her, she was just so ugh. she was just perfect and somehow he was the lucky one that managed to see her in all her beauty. he was the one that got to see all her scars and insecurities and he was the one that kissed her there. he was one lucky son of a bitch that’s for sure. 

he doesn’t care if she doesn’t ever love him (the biggest lie on planet earth) all he cares about is that he was the first person that she opened up to and that even if she never loves him back, then he will watch from the side-lines, cheering her on no matter what she does. because he really loves her. 

jude reaches for the phone, the same one y/n has hanging in her room, debating whether or not to call her. he puts the phone down after a couple of moments. 

he’s brought out of his moment by a knock on his door, which is soon followed by his mothers head peaking through. 

“jude baby? are you coming downstairs to eat?”

“no, no i don’t think so. not really feeling it oddly enough”

“but you played for at least 5 hours today puppy, you need to eat and it’s breakfast for tea and i know that’s your favourite”

jude just places his hand on his stomach.

“y/n y/l/n called by the way.. while you were out. she wanted to know whether or not your coming to this performance on saturday.” 

“oh thanks for the message ma”

“judie, you know i feel about her, she’s trouble.”

“i know you’ve said…. maybe about fifty times.”

“i just don’t want you to consider her a close friend that’s all.”

she sighs and leaves jude to himself.

jude then only finally reveals what’s hidden in his closed fist. the panties that he kept from that magical night.

a/n: i really hope these are doing the movie justice! @taintedstranger i think you wanted a tag so i really hoped you enjoyed it!

THANK U BABES🥰❤️❤️

everyone say happy birthday to @melodramainterlude HAPPY BIRTHDAY

mon cherié -benjamin pavard

summary: both you and benjamin are insufferably stubborn,which makes this “hot and cold” situation unbearable. if destiny wants to see you together,who is gonna be the first one to stop acting like you hate each other?

author’s note: thank you for all your support and requests so far! this is the longest piece i wrote so far and i really put my heart and energy into this one. let me know what do you think <3

word count: 2,5 k

warnings: angst,betrayal and mentions of cheating

What is it about us that we always want something we can’t have? Or someone. I had never craved anyone’s attention like this before. Not until I met him.

He was always there,yet so far out of my reach. Almost like a toy you will reach for at top shelves in stores. Unreachable for me. I never knew where I stood with him. One thing was sure- he was the one. He had to be. If not him,then who? I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him. No amount of love movies could ever prepare me for that fatal attraction. Nothing compares to experiencing that moment. Destiny wanted us together,but did you?

From that moment on, he was the last thing I would have on my mind before going to sleep. It even got to a point where I couldn’t even escape him while I was sleeping. And when I wasn’t seeing him in my dreams,I would daydream about him. Not that I would ever admit that to him. I was too proud to do it. Eventually,that would cost us time we could already spend together.

As the time went by, I was convinced that falling for someone this hard is a form of self- destruction.It just had to be. Raw feelings and this catastrophic timing made the most painful combination. How is it even possible to love someone that much without really knowing them? I just saw right through you. For what you really are, and I still love every single part of you. Even flaws. That’s what made you so irresistible. Some said that’s because I had a savior complex and you needed to be “saved”.

The truth is- I needed you. Needed to be saved by your love. If anything,I loved your flaws more than anything. You wouldn’t be who you are without them. You desperately wanted to give off the impression of someone mysterious to everyone else and always leave them wondering. Who are you? Are you in touch with all of your darkest fantasies? Have you created a life for yourself where you can experience them? What are you really like? Do you have someone? What rumors about you are true? For a good period of time,those rumors left me wondering too.

I scrolled through her post and it wasn’t because I was envious. The only thing I want for you is to be happy,even if it doesn’t include me. At least that’s what I was trying to convince myself. It worked for awhile. It got draining eventually and I was trying my best to hide it. I felt so pathetic for crying over someone who probably doesn’t even think about me. Why would you? I clearly did my best to push you away from me. We were never friends,but certainly not this either. How did it even come to this? From sitting together in classes and making jokes to not being able to stand each other.

I had to contradict everything you said. For some reason,even though you were shy,you always had something to say about everything. Truthfully,sometimes everyone found it frustrating. What did you wanna prove? It seemed like you wanted to be a teachers pet and always be against everyone else because you are above us. Straight A’s,tall,good-looking,popular among girls.. Even your football career seemed to be going in the right direction. What else is there to prove really?

Once again,I saw right through your facade. You wanted approval from others,which is something you always seek. Maybe not actively,but you love to feel accepted. You loved to make people laugh,but honestly, nothing about this situation was funny at all. Maybe destiny doesn’t wanna see us together after all.

Where did it all take a wrong turn for us? If „we“ ever were a thing after all. Everyone noticed the way we looked at each other. Self-proclaimed enemies don't look at each other with lust in their eyes. If I had to point out one specific event, it would be the moment where I comforted you about one of the rumors that was going around.

Not because I wanted to humiliate you or find out the truth so everyone can gossip about it and talk behind your back, just like they always do. Some nice „friends“ you have. It was because I wanted to let you know I'm not that naive to believe everything I hear or read.

And most importantly- to let you know I'm here for you. Someone you can rely on, shoulder to cry. I see you and your good heart. Your good intentions. The rumor has it that you were sending inappropriate texts to some girls while you were with that girl. There was no way anyone would want to hurt her, especially not you. She looks beautiful and kind, she probably gives you butterflies. I was having sleepless nights over thinking about how to bring that up, but let's face it-that's not something you just casually bring up in random conversation. Who in their right mind would just ask „Hey, did you send these inappropriate messages to girls while you had a girlfriend? „

Nobody, except for me. I was waiting for an opportunity to ask you about this for days, weeks even. Nothing seemed like the right time to ask you about it and I wanted it to be as natural as possible. Somehow, after all that overthinking, I brought it up in the most idiotic way possible.

I noticed you were walking home alone after school and stopped you. After so many years, I still don't know what got into me. All I know is that I suddenly felt like my heart was in my throat. Even though I was practicing what to say in the mirror so many times, I went completely off the script.

Not the first time we have been off the script, is it?

„Hey, can I just show you something if you have a second?”

„Of course, what is it?”

„Uhm, I don't know are you aware, but they are talking about how you were sending some questionable messages to a lot of girls.”

„Wait, what?”

„So you don't know? There are screenshots going around…”

„I have to go or I will be late for a game, but if you can, please send me those screenshots.”

„Good luck and I will.”

„Thank you. „

This definetly felt wrong. It felt like I was interrogating you for a „crime“ that has no correlation to me whatsoever. It wasn't my place to ask you that, but since I already did, I had to proceed with it and send you screenshots.

Nothing for hours.

Followed by „seen at 3:27 am“.

That's what happens when you go off the script,but that's life. We can't retake this scene and try again.

Now it's up to you to decide what comes next. At the very least, you could've thanked me for letting you know, but no. Radio silence at your end.

After that conversation, I wouldn't even consider us „enemies“. I would consider ourselves as strangers because, at the end of the day, that is what we are. Who was I fooling? I will never know what you are thinking, who you are when you are alone at night with your thoughts. My friends noticed that you were looking at me every time I looked away from you. They didn’t know about our conversation, but even then, they knew you looked like you were so desperate to say something. Still no progress and let's face it- there will never be one.

It's not like I didn't try to occupy myself with other things, other people. All of my attempts worked out only for a short amount of time. Not suprising considering they never left significant mark on my life. Looking back on it, I should've risk it, confess it to you and risk a rejection. It couldn't be that bad if it happened sooner, right? They say time heals open wounds of a broken heart, but what would be a medicine for however you wanna describe this? All my friends are tired of hearing of how much I miss you and I got sick of thinking about you all the time. It almost felt pathetic.

I needed something, well someone to get you off my mind. Funnily enough, my boyfriend, well ex-boyfriend now, looked very similiar to you. It's safe to say I have a type. Brown eyes and curly brown hair. Very predictable of me. If I only predicted that so called replacements don't work out. If anything, that cheap version of you only made my life even more miserable with constant lying and gaslighting.

To make the whole story more embarassing, he broke up with me right before Christmas and ruined my favorite time of the year. Looking back on it, it was a blessing in disguise. There is just one thing I will forever regret if you put aside the fact that I endured his gaslighting for months. He was my first kiss and just looking back on it makes me physically ill. It's such a repulsive memory. Thanks God I complemently blocked that out of my memory.

On the other hand, I don't think he will block you out of his memory because he was also one of those that were envious of you, your talent, popularity and attractivness. Imagine if he knew he was your supossed replacement… Failed to even be the mediocre version of himself. He is free to add me on the list of girls who he didn't satisfy in any way. Not to wish bad upon anyone, but he doesn’t deserve to feel happiness after what he has done. Not to mention he most likely cheated too because I saw him with other girl on new year's party. Dissapointing but normal procedure by his standards.

Wanna hear something that is not a normal procedure in our story? Him sitting next to me in bus on our week long school trip. In the middle of the night as well. Everyone were asleep except few of us. I didn’t even notice him at first because I was got lost in my thoughts while looking through window. Night was so peaceful and you could see stars since sky was so clear, not a single cloud in the sight. He tapped my shoulder to get my attention and I just assumed it's one of my friends that was sitting behind me.

„Do you mind if I sit here? „

„No, go ahead. „

„It's a bit crowded back there so I hope you don't mind that I came. „

„It's okay, don't worry. „

„Why are you awake? „

„I could ask you the same thing. „

„I asked you first. „

„And you came to my seat so your rules don't apply here, monsieur . „

„Monsieur? I'm not that old,mademoiselle”

„Sorry, your dark cicrles are telling me a different story. „

„Hey, no need for that. „

„I'm just kidding, but seriously, why are you awake?“

„Because I can't fall asleep. „

„Really? „

„Really. That's why I'm here. „

„Huh? Am I supossed to tuckle you in and tell you a goodnight story? „

„I mean, if you want to… „

„Just go to sleep. „

„That's very rude of you, mon cherié. „

„What did you say? „

„Hm? Nothing, you are hearing stuff. „

„Goodnight then. „

„Goodnight. „

Well, that was suprising. His presence and the smell of his perfume were so comforting. It was almost like I needed him to fall asleep peacefully. To be more exact, it seemed like he needed me too.

Why are we each others safe place when all we do is bring chaos into each others lives?

Overthinking hit me again while he was leaning more and more towards me. This probbably doesn’t mean anything, but I would've lied if I said this isn't gonna disturb me. I was finally moving on and then this had to happen? How convinient.

„Sometimes I was conviced you are doing this on puprose. What else could it be? I just wanted you to make up your mind and put both of us out of this misery. I was hoping I will never ever come across you after high school. „

„I'm sorry, but that will never work out for you. Your shoulder probabbly went numb because I was all over you, I'm sorry. „

„Not just that, you were also drooling in your sleep. „

„That's embarassing. I hope nobody saw it. „

„Not only did they see you, they took pictures too. „

„Put that in a frame. But jokes aside, why did it took us so long? „

„Maybe because both of us are so insufferably stubborn? „

„That's what makes it more fun. „

„Suffering back then wasn't that fun, to be honest. „

„If this is suffering, then I wanna suffer forever with you. „

„Wow, so romantic of you. „

„Why are you rolling your eyes? I'm being serious. „

„It's just a natural reaction when I see you. „

„Are you thinking what I'm thinking or? „

„Oh stop winking at me and be serious for once. „

„Sorry, what were you saying? „

„I was about to say that I will never forgive you that you will never be my first kiss. „

„What?? I thought I was special? You are such a traitor. „

„Turns out you weren't the only one that was drooling over me. „

„Just so you know, that kiss doesn’t count. „

„So which one does? „

„This one. „

And he was right. That is the only that will ever matter.

marcus Rasford thanks 😁

sure,do you have anything particular in mind?😉

@gaviandgrizisgirl request :)

warning: smut

——————————————————————————

“You did so good cariño” you said, seated on your boyfriends lap at home after his first game back.

“Thank you amor, I’m glad to be back” he said, caressing your sides softly. Your mouth met his before slipping lower to his neck, leaving wet kisses. His hands squeezed your sides, repositioning your crotch against his growing erection.

You grinded your hips, making Pedri groan. You kissed your way up to his jaw, slight stubble grazing your cheek. You held on his neck, lips coming to his earlobe. Your tongue swirled against it before you whispered

“I think you deserve a reward”

Pedri smiled “Oh yeah?”

“Mhm”

You took off his shirt, carresing his chest and leaving a trail of kisses all the way down to his happy trail. You stroked him over the shorts, and he really wanted to let you pleasure him but the number 8 on your back with his name spelling above was doing things to him. Pedri pulled at the hem of his jersey.

“I wanna fuck you in the jersey” he whispered and you smirked, getting back onto his lap. You discarded your shorts,showing off the lacy underwear. Pedri hooked a finger under, pulling the material to the side. He spread your arousal around your clit, making you whine.

Suddenly, he switched positions pushing you on all fours before him. You heard him take off the rest of his clothes. He grabbed his dick, leaking precum, and stroked it a few times at the view of his name on your back. You felt the tip against your folds and pushed your ass back, asking for more.

Pedri wasted no time either and entered you in one swift movement, making you both moan. He started thrusting into you, enjoying the view of your ass bouncing with every snap of his hips.

His movements came to a stop and you looked back at him breathless and confused. Before you could say anything tho he spoke up

“Come on, bounce on my dick. You wanted to reward me, yeah?”

You hesitated a bit before moving up and down on him. Pedri grabbed your ass, squeezing the flesh, making you moan his name. His eyes never left his name sprawled across your back with his cock buried inside of you.

“Fuck, your pussy is better than my comeback”

You clenched at his words, feeling closer to cumming.

“It’s all yours Papi, you deserve it” you moaned out, your movements becoming sloppy.

Pedri noticed this, stilling your hips with his hands and thrusting up into you harshly. You were already on edge and this was enough for you finish. With his name on your lips, you came, head falling into the pillows.

Your sounds were enough to push Pedri over the edge as well, filling you up with his cum. He thrusted a few more times before pulling out, letting his cum drip out of your pussy. That sight,paired up with the jersey was enough to make him hard again.

——————————————————————————

Wherever You Are

Summary: You realize that you don’t want to live without Kepa anymore.

Warning: Angsty beginning but fluffy ending bc all I seem to wanna write is angst these days lmao

Word Count: 2.5K

A/N: Inspired by “Wherever You Are” by 5 Seconds of Summer. Also if anyone has requests feel free to send them my way! Right now I’m writing for Kepa Arrizabalaga and Christian Pulisic, but I may be adding Kai Havertz to the list soon! Also also shout out to the Puli girls for always being so supportive and constantly inspiring me to write every day 💙

“Every night I almost call you

Just to say it always will be you

Wherever you are.”

Kepa laid awake on his back, staring at the ceiling. He should’ve been asleep to get some well needed rest for his game the next day, but he couldn’t. His mind wandered aimlessly, just like it did every night. No matter what he did, all he could think about was that night, the scene playing on constant repeat whenever he close his eyes.

Your forehead was on Kepa’s, suitcase in hand. You knew once you walked through airport security, you wouldn’t be able to turn back no matter how much you wanted to.

“Tell me to stay. Just say the word and I’ll stay,” you choked as tears ran down your face.

He held your face in his hands, keeping you as close to him as he possibly could.

“You know I can’t, mi vida,” he said, trying to remain strong for you. “This is a once in a lifetime opportunity that I can’t ask you to pass up just to stay here with me.”

You sobbed harder. He was right. Your dream company in Spain had accepted your application and you were set to start the week after. You’d known from a young age that this was all you ever wanted. Everything you’d done up until this point in your life was geared towards this job, and you finally had it after years of hard work and determination.

Kepa threw a wrench in those plans. You never anticipated falling in love along the way. The years you spent with him were some of the best moments of your life and you never wanted it to end. You didn’t know what the future would hold for you, but the only certain thing was that you wanted him in it.

You had to make a decision once your received the email. Kepa couldn’t just up and leave with you no matter how much he wanted to. His place was in London playing with the team he so dearly loved. But Kepa knew that this was your lifelong dream and wouldn’t let you give up on it just for him. You both wanted to go long distance, but with your work schedules it wouldn’t have been realistic to sustain a relationship anymore. You would be staying indefinitely in Spain and he would be indefinitely in England. Keeping a relationship would prevent the two of you from growing, and he never wanted to hold you back from the happiness he knew you deserved.

It absolutely broke your heart to know you couldn’t be with him. You wanted him as much as you wanted this job, but you couldn’t have both. Your head was telling you to suck it up and get on the plane for a job you’d longed for since you were a child. But your heart begged you to stay with Kepa. And you would’ve. He just needed to say the words and you would’ve given up everything for him.

Kepa couldn’t ask you to do that. And you knew he couldn’t.

He wiped the tears from under your eyes trying to memorize your face with the little time he had left with you.

“I promise one day I’ll find you again. I swear it. I promise I won’t stop until I find you,” he stated firmly.

“How can you know that? How do we know things won’t change between us?” you cried, desperate to hold onto him while you still could.

“Because you’re worth fighting for, and you will always be worth fighting for.”

Kepa softly kissed you, pouring all the love he had for you into it.

“Do you hear me? I’ll fight heaven and earth, all the gods in the sky, every higher power that could possibly exist if it means I get to be with you. I won’t ever give up on you, on us.”

The two of you stood in the terminal in your own world, holding on for as long as possible. You could feel time ticking away and you prayed it would stop just so the inevitable wouldn’t have to come.

The announcer’s voice over the speaker brought you back to your harsh reality. You were going on a plane to fulfill your dreams, leaving the love of your life behind to fulfill his. Time was finally up and there was nothing you could do to stop it.

“I love you Y/N,” he said softly.

“I love you Kepa,” you cried, “so much.”

He kissed your forehead tenderly before kissing your lips, savoring what very well might have been your final time.

Reluctantly, the two of you stepped away from your hold. He handed you your bags, letting his fingers linger on yours ever so slightly. You could see the tears in his own eyes, but he refused to let them fall. Your heart broke even more knowing he wanted to be strong because you couldn’t be.

“Bye Kepa,” you said so softly it might as well have been a whisper.

He nodded his head, but you knew it meant two things: he was giving you the courage you needed to walk away and he was telling you that things were going to be okay.

And with a deep breath, you headed towards the security gates. You turned around to look at him one final time, tears still falling from your eyes. He gave you a small smile, both of your hearts breaking in that moment. With your heart feeling heavy, you broke his gaze and headed towards your destination.

Kepa stayed in the airport until he saw your plane taking off in the distance. He stared out the window longingly, finally releasing the emotions he was trying so desperately to suppress.

“Bye Y/N.”

Kepa relived that moment every night since you left almost two years ago. While you hadn’t blocked or unfollowed each other on social media, you hadn’t spoken since. It would’ve been too painful knowing you were so close yet so far out of his reach. Kepa would’ve given up on his own dreams to be with you. But you wouldn’t want that for him and he knew that, just as he didn’t want you to do the same. He wanted to be selfish, but more than anything he wanted to see you happy. And if you had to be out of his life to be happy and finally achieve everything you’d ever wanted, he would make that decision every time.

Kepa instead focused on his own career, putting his best onto the field. And it paid off, returning to his incredible form for both his club and country. Kepa had finally proved himself to be one of the best goalkeepers in Europe and gained the respect of both fans and critics alike. He’d won a few pieces of silverware, and he was only just getting started. He had regained his confidence on the pitch and it showed. He was so proud of how far he’d come despite all of his setbacks and his dreams were right within his grasp. Everything in his life was falling right into place. It was almost perfect.

Yet the one thing he wanted the most in this world, he couldn’t have. There weren’t any football trophies or medals in the world that could compare to the feeling of having you in his arms again. Every picture he’d taken with his awards only served as a reminder of what he had lost, who he had lost in the process. While it wasn’t necessarily a decision he regretted, it didn’t make the thought hurt any less.

Kepa never really tried to move on. He couldn’t forget about you, nor did he want to. While his teammates attempted to convince him to go on other dates, he knew that no one could even come close you. You weren’t together anymore, but Kepa’s heart was still entirely yours whether you knew it or not. He didn’t know what the future held for the two of you, and that was the worst part. Not knowing if he was waiting for something that would never come or if the right time was coming and he just didn’t realize it yet. But he knew he desperately wanted you to come home to him.

Spain had been an absolutely incredible experience for you. From the moment you landed, you fell head over heels for the country. You learned so much about yourself and gained memories that you knew would last a lifetime. Your dream job turned out to be everything you wished for and more. You wanted to spend forever there and you easily could have. It seemed your future was almost set in stone displayed right in front of you.

But life in Spain was almost perfect. It almost felt right. It was almost your forever home. That word and that feeling kept surfacing. Almost, almost, almost. This was everything you dreamed about for as long as you could remember. So why did you constantly feel like something was missing?

You stared at the pouring rain through the window as your taxi dropped you off in front of a familiar house. You didn’t know if this was a good decision, but for once you decided to listen to your instincts and follow your heart. You grabbed your bags, thanked the driver, and walked up to the house.

As you walked closer and closer to the door, your hands began to shake, your heartbeat increasing with every step. There was no turning back at this point, and there was no telling what was going to come of this encounter. But you weren’t going to back down. You weren’t letting this go without a fight.

You took a deep breath before knocking on the door. You heard soft murmurs and the sound of footsteps before the door opened.

To say Kepa was stunned to see you drenched outside his home was an understatement. The moment he saw your face, his heart stopped. His brain stopped functioning properly and he struggled to catch his breath. You two stared at each other, not a word being exchanged as your minds raced.

“I’m sorry I just showed up unexpected like this but I needed to tell you this and it couldn’t wait any longer,” you said to him after a minute of silence.

Kepa couldn’t find his words, so he just nodded his head to let you continue.

“You were right. The job was incredible. Spain was incredible. I loved every moment of it and I had absolutely everything I wanted. My dream job, amazing friends. It was what I dreamed about and more. Everything was perfect.”

You took a deep breath, your voice beginning to waver as you spoke on.

“But every day I could feel something was wrong. No matter what I did or where I went, it always felt like something was missing. I thought maybe it was homesickness, maybe it was restlessness, anxiety from a new job and a new experience. But the longer I stayed, the worse the feeling got. I kept trying to ignore it and move past it, but nothing worked because I knew why I felt that way.”

You couldn’t hold the tears in anymore, letting them mix with the rain that was currently running down your face. You lifted your head and looked right into Kepa’s eyes for the first time since you left that day.

“I didn’t have you. I had everything I could’ve dreamed about, and it all paled in comparison because all I could think about was how much I wanted you, how much I wanted to be with you, how much I missed you.”

You let out a sob, trying your best to stay strong.

“And God Kepa, I miss you so fucking much. I know we agreed that I couldn’t just stay behind, but I’ve thought about that moment every day for two years and how much I fucking regret leaving you that day. I fought with myself, trying not to call you every night just to hear your voice. I avoided watching matches so I wouldn’t see if you’d moved on or not. I tried to convince myself that I was ready to let you go.”

You were shaking, but it wasn’t because of the rain. Kepa just let you go on.

“But I lied. I lied to myself because I knew I would never stop loving you. And I couldn’t just let you go without fighting for us. I’ve realized that I can’t live without you anymore. Spain was perfect, but I don’t want perfect. I just want you.”

You hesitantly stepped closer to him.

“I know it’s been a long time and things have changed, but I can’t give up without fighting for this. So tell me to go and you’ll never see me again. But if you tell me to stay, I promise I’m never leaving ever again.”

Kepa didn’t even hesitate. In one swift motion, he gently cupped your cheeks with his hands and for the first time in two years, he kissed you. It wasn’t a small peck, but a kiss that conveyed every emotion he’d ever felt in the time you were gone. There would never be enough words in the world to properly describe how much he needed you in his life and this was the only thing he could do. You kissed him back with the same energy, tears streaming down both of your faces.

Kepa pulled back from you to look deep in your eyes before kissing you again, much gentler this time. He wanted to savor every bit of this moment, one that’d he’d dreamt about every night since you left. He didn’t want perfect either. He didn’t need it when he had you because you were more than enough for him, and you always would be.

He pulled away again, this time choosing to rest his forehead on yours.

“I made you a promise that day,” Kepa whispered, “a promise that I would never give up on you. I said I would fight even God above if it meant being with you. And I will never ever go back on my word. I would wait the rest of my life just to be with you at the end of it all.”

Kepa pulled you as close as you physically could, planning on doing so for the rest of your lives.

“So stay with me now. You don’t have to be away anymore. You’re home now.”

“I love you Kepa. And I never stopped loving you,” you whispered.

“I love you, Y/N. I never stopped loving you and I never will. Because it doesn’t matter how far you are from me or what universe we’re a part of or how much time has passed. It’s you. And it will always be you wherever you are. And nothing will ever change that.”

The two of you stood in the doorway, your hands were covering his and foreheads pressed together as you both tried to memorize the other. You held each other tightly, just as you did in the airport all those years ago. Only this time, you weren’t begging time to stop so you can be together just for a little longer because you would have each other forever. And as Kepa kissed you, you knew you would never have to say goodbye ever again.

Taglist: @neverinadream​ @pulisicsgirl​ @masonspulisic​ @bracedes​ @lizzypotter14​ @notsoattractivearenti​ @thoseboysinblue​ @pianoisland​ @lovelynikol16​ @chelseagirl98​