I Adore Meeting Plural Systems Who Have Fictives. Like Mew Are Telling Me Mew Got LORE? That's So Fucking

“i’m not the same as who i was before [x] thing happened to me” does it help to know that you would not have stayed that person regardless

Why does an undertaker make a good gossip?

They really know get the dirt on someone!

Why are undertakers always so tired?

Because they’re always taking graveyard shifts!

Folks have got to understand that they probably aren't messed up by some Secret Big Trauma that they just can't remember; but rather by a million tiny microtraumas that they do mostly remember but don't even register as traumatic because nobody actually understood that these things would cause trauma, much less stack on each other over the years.

CUTE THOUGHTS UNDER THE SCARY WINDS

it's such hard work being such a cute mousegirl

girls keep putting me in their pockets and taking me home with them because im so irresistible and easily pocketed

it's nice being a hit with the ladies but they don't always call me an uber home :/

More favourite numerical memes:

Implicit or implicit enumeration of uncountable things (example: taking inventory of the fucks which one gives)

Suggesting the divisibility of things which are not customarily thought of as able to be subdivided (example: "six whole people")

Using words that aren't numbers as numbers (example: "one William dollars")

Technically correct but contextually misleading estimates (example: looking at a group of several thousand things and observing that there are "at least three")

Incongruous qualifiers for apparently simple sums or tallies (example: she was twenty-seven years old, not counting 2014)

the beverage brand Fruit2O is pronounced "difruit monoxide"

I've said it before but wangxian doing cheating role-play but they can never actually pull it off

*meeting at a public bar*

Wei Ying: hey stranger ;)

Lan Zhan: ...hello. Can I buy you a drink?

Wei Ying: you better not, my husband is Hanguang-Jun, he's insanely possessive and strong~

Lan Zhan getting red ears: how strong?

Wei Ying: your line was supposed to be "he doesn't have to know!" Lan Zhan are you fishing for praise? Let's try again

Lan Zhan: ..... I am married as well

Wei Ying: he can't satisfy you, that's why you came here huh?

Lan Zhan: no he's amazing. He's very sexy

Wei Ying twirling his hair: hehe is that right? Your husband turns you on that much?

Lan Zhan standing up: yes. I want to go home and have sex with my husband right now

Wei Ying getting out of his seat: yeah me too