Love At First Sight

My favorite part about the Mario movie was when he said “It’s Jump-man time” and proceeded to jump all over the place.

hey you!

you want some orbs?

i can make orbs, you just gimme a radially symmetrical image, I'll make it into an orb

Thanks for the commission!

a dude came into the library stoned out of his mind and was like, “do I need a library card to look at books?” And I said, “to take books home, yes. To look at them, no” and he looked so relieved. bro was staring at a fish encyclopedia for like an hour and then just left.

Nintendo really decided to leave her down there for another 8 months 

i know unicorns are usually silver or lavender with those skinny horse legs built for running but id like to see more unicorns with natural colouration built like tanks like these beasts

A computer programmer goes to buy some bread.

On his way out, his wife says, “and while you’re there, get a carton of eggs”.

He never returned.