HE JUST ACCIDENTALLY SAILED TO IRELAND?

New Frankenstein origin story just dropped

I had a dream where you were in jail and every time someone mentioned you your pfp would appear and it got to the point where I started hating it

hey this is really funny. ill never be over this. why was i in jail what were my crimes

Friends, bookworms, bitter lovers of classic literature’s greatest and most greatly cheated horrors, I have a request to make of you:

Send me the absolute worst film and TV series you know of when it comes to adapting—read: ruining, rewriting, and/or bastardizing beyond the point of recognition—the books of classic horror we know and love.

Give me your fanfictions of a fanfiction-level headaches. Your reincarnated wife plots. Your no-homo’d friends and/or siblings. Your heroes made into sudden assholes, your grating girlbosses full of contemporary wink-at-the-camera edginess, your dull damsels sanded down into corseted props, your monsters alternately stripped of their proper menace or their intelligence in order to fit the Universal Classics mold.

Give me the worst of your slop.

Plague me with your anti-recommendations in their dozens and hundreds.

Why do I make this request? So I can form a list. Ideally with cited sources, though I think we’re all aware that the easiest way to form said list is to just link to Wikipedia. I am at a loss for any known work that faithfully does right by our dusty old monsters and their foes.*

*Incidentally, if anyone has anything they would sincerely recommend to take the edge off, pass those my way too with your review. No need to suggest the Substacks or @re-dracula. They are my sole refuge as-is.

The reason for the list is that I would like to have it as reference material for what I hope can be a decently public-facing open letter to Hollywood as a plea, a curse, and a general shaming for the industry that has refused to actually read, comprehend, and acknowledge the books they continue to harvest for content without ever doing right by the stories, casts, or themes. Their notion of ‘adaptation’ has dissolved entirely into a game of Telephone with the last half a dozen filmmakers who barely skimmed, let alone liked, the books in question.

That said, I have some specific books in mind already, starting with Dracula and The Picture of Dorian Gray. You know why. But others on the roster include Frankenstein, The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, Carmilla, and The Phantom of the Opera. Let me have the worst of the worst of their movie and television counterparts; that goes double for the ones that have made you full-body cringe at their popularity.*

*It goes without saying that Francis’ fanfiction is at the top of the list. No need to rub more salt in that wound.

My inbox is ready for your worst, friends. Hand over the bile.

but i created you

What up, I'm Robert, I'm 28, I'm gay, and I never fuckin' learned how to read.

feeding your decaying georgian twunk how-to guide: soup, an oaten cake and a frozen dead hare

yes victor is an unreliable narrator, and yes we should take this into consideration when we are analyzing the plot and his character and actions. howEVER he is just one of three unreliable narrators, and cherry-picking and dismissing or discrediting whatever victor says when it suits your argument is just plain silly. you could just as easily apply that same logic to the creature, or to walton, and at that point why believe anything anyone says in the novel in the first place? of course there’s inconsistencies in a narration recounted years after these events took place, and of course it is colored by moments of bias where the truth or level of exaggeration of his statements are debatable, and analyzing these moments can be interesting and important! but there comes a point where you have to suspend disbelief and take things that are said at face value. else you wind up picking apart throwaway lines, or quotes taken out of context, and your argument just becomes nitpicky and unfounded, particular in a book that is already filled with plot holes/inconsistencies. give this man some grace

i love you enderverse

the thing about victor frankenstein is that, aside from the deeply unpleasant but distressingly period-typical views about women and his polar exploration sunk-cost fallacy attitude, he's not even really a outstandingly bad individual. spending two years trying to make a whole person with no solid plan for what to then Do with this person is an extremely extremely bad idea, but after that all his reactions to stress and tragedy are fairly common and natural. avoidance, depression, decision paralysis, secret keeping, etc., these are very normal trauma responses. they are just literally all of the very worst responses he could possibly have had given his particular situation.

victor hate posts be like: he’s bad. he’s annoying. i hate him. he’s an awful 19 year old single father. he sucks