Iulia

Your boundary doesn‘t need an apology.

healing doesn't have to look pretty or be some magical process. healing is hard. it's draining and exhausting.

don't try to paint it as anything other than what it is. don't be ashamed at how rough it can look.

Getting Back on Track

The past few weeks have been kind of difficult. I ended up getting off track with my fitness goals. Surprisingly, though, I have been able to stay on track with my eating. I’m not calorie restricting or anything (honestly, I stopped actively counting my calories a long time ago). I have just been making sure I focus on eating actual food and incorporating, at least, some servings of fruit and/or vegetables throughout each week. I also focus on how I feel after eating certain foods. If there is something specific I want or am craving, I just eat it. No big deal. Having a cookie (or 2) at lunch is not going to, suddenly, reverse everything I have done prior to this month. I think the fact that I pack my lunch almost everyday for work has also been helping me.   

Anyway, I really want to get back on track with the fitness component. I’ve stopped caring so much about weightloss. I just want to be strong (and to be able to do a pull up without any assistance lol). I also miss the gym in general. I actually got to the point where the gym was becoming a source of stress relief for me. With how life has been (e.g., personal stuff, the overall, disappointing state of the world, etc.) I think we all could benefit from finding those things that help us make it through each day.

I’m going to try to go to the gym tomorrow after work. It might be difficult to get back into my previous routine, but I’m ready. 

No, you aren't "behind in life".

But, it's okay to grieve the time you spent surviving. The time spent trying to figure out what was wrong. The time spent healing to become a person again.

It wasn't your fault.