—That’s Where These Stories Get Wrong.

dreaming about caleb jerking off

a/n :: inspired by this lovely video :3

his hand is moving impossibly fast under the blanket he has draped over his lower half of his body . his hips have a mind of their own , jumping and thrusting into his hand and then back down into the mattress , the lack of restraint he has over his own body prominent . having no clue where to put his other hand , it'd be placed firmly over his eyes to cover how shameful his movements are . his mind would be plagued with the thought of your mouth on his cock instead of his hand , practically forcing the cum out of his body way faster than he intended . his moans are incredibly loud and accompanied by little whimpers once he cums , not knowing how else to get the pleasure out of his system . "ohfuckohfuckohfuckohfuckohfuckohfuck," said all in one breath as he orgasms so fucking hard he becomes lightheaded and sees stars .

𝜗𝜚 ; welcome to the bar

who do we serve here ? — anyone who seeks escapism is welcome at bar lupin. would you like your drink strong and bitter, or disgustingly sweet and light?

 what is this place ? — formiito's very own establishment of disillusioned lovers and poets. feel free to look around.

 my name is formiito, the writer behind these fanfics. bar lupin themed blog, though not solely restricted to bungou stray dogs. i take requests for resident evil, bg3 and may yap about other fandoms too.

❝ — to the stray dogs! ❞

i. MASTERLIST   ii. RULES

REQUESTS ARE OPEN!!

Simon Riley who never gets mad at his wife. No matter how angry he is. CW : None. Pure fluff

Simon was practically fuming. First he'd been ordered by Price to train a group of new recruits, then, the young recruits decided to be a colossal pain in the ass, and to top it off, he'd missed his lunch break where he would normally have some respite by calling you.

So now, he was shouting at the recruits. More than usual. The recruits all looked dead on their feet. But Simon didn't care, they decided to be annoying little pricks. They needed discipline or they'd never make it in the military.

"For fucks sake, you mongrel! Run ten laps!" Simon roared at a recruit, the others looking nervous. Not wanting to be the next one to face Simon.

"Uh, sir?" One of the recruits squeak.

"What?!" Simon roared, the recruit pointing behind Simon.

Simon turned with a low growl, clearly not in the mood for anymore antics, only for him to look down and see you. His wife, in a pretty little sundress and holding a Tupperware container full of something. It didn't matter what was inside, his stomach was growling at the thought of your cooking.

"Swee'heart" Simon sighed in relief, his shoulders visibly relaxing and his arms wrapping around your waist. He relished in the squeak that came from you as he lifted you up and buried his face in the crook of your neck.

"You alright, big guy?" you giggle. Simon grumbling in agreement. Making you laugh again.

Simon set you down, barking at the recruits to find Price and that he'll be taking over the training, before walking behind you with his hands on your waist to guide you to his office.

"Si, if you're busy I can go" you offer, and Simon can barely handle how fucking sweet you are to him.

Simon shook his head, taking off his balaclava and sitting in his office chair. Pulling you to sit on his lap.

"Made you some cottage pie" you grin, opening the container in your hands and handing it to Simon. God it was still warm. "I thought you were gonna yell at me with how mad you were at the recruits"

"Would never yell at you, princess" Simon said, rubbing your hips as you fed him a forkful of the cottage pie. He groaned at the taste, making you giggle.

"good?"

"so fucking good, lovie. Needed your cooking after how shit today has been" Simon smiled, bringing your left hand to his lips and kissing your wedding ring gently.

⛧°. ⋆𓌹♰𓌺⋆. °⛧

btw guys I pulled white lily cookie and dark cacao cookie while writing this :p

✴︎ CAN I HOLD IT WHILE YOU PEE?

જ⁀➴ Asking the LADS guys if you can hold it while they pee

ﾉ including: Xavier, Zayne, Rafayel, Sylus

ﾉ cw: suggestive, talks of handjobs and obviously pee (no watersports tho)

ﾉ info: Requested by Anon ||| Requests are OPEN ||| TAGLIST

જ⁀➴ Xavier

♡ Xavier was confused as to why you were following him to the bathroom in the middle of the night.

♡ He stopped in his tracks once he stood in the middle of the room and realized you were in the doorframe.

♡ “You need the toilet too? I can wait,” he offers tired, but you only grin at him as you walk towards him.

♡ You wrap both arms around his torso and give him puppy eyes - it's nearly impossible for him to say no when you're that sweet.

♡ “Can I hold it while you pee?” You ask with a mischievous glint in your eyes.

♡ “Hold what? The roll of toilet paper?” He asked tired, his brain not fully working in this state.

♡ “No, your dick.” You say bluntly and step away from your small hug.

♡ Xavier's eyes went wide for a moment and he was wide awake after you said that and he gulped, unsure what to answer.

♡ “Uh… sure?” It was more a question than a statement and he blinked a few times, trying to wrap his head around as to why you would want that.

♡ You giggled when he stepped closer to the toilet and pulled his pajama pants with his boxers down just enough to get his dick out.

♡ “Well, do you want to hold it now or? I kinda really need to… yeah,” he mumbled, the tips of his ears a cute shade of pink.

♡ “Xav! It was a joke! But if you insist…” you laugh softly and step behind him, gently grabbing his cock so you can aim it.

♡ Xavier had a shiver run down his spine when the first few drops turned into a steady stream, closing his eyes to not think about your hand wrapped around his manhood in such a dirty moment.

♡ He thought it was just a weird dream when he got up in the morning so he never really mentioned it again.

જ⁀➴ Zayne

♡ You knew his answer before you even asked but you still happily skipped after him to the bathroom.

♡ At first Zayne thought you skip past him and into the bedroom or into the kitchen to grab a snack for your movie night.

♡ But he almost closed the door right in your face when he went into the bathroom.

♡ “Are you okay?” He asked with one raised brow, giving you a look over, genuinely wondering why you'd follow him into the bathroom.

♡ “Is it about the call earlier? I told you it's just a coworker who took over one of my patients and-” you cut him off mid sentence, laughing softly.

♡ “Do you think I'm jealous? I trust you, silly” You said amused which immediately eases the worry in his face. Of course you weren't concerned or jealous but there was this mischievous look on your face.

♡ “Then what brings you here?” He asked curiously, leaning against the doorframe to stare you down as if he needs to extract your deepest secrets.

♡ “Can I hold it? While you pee?” You ask as sweet as you can muster and he shakes his head, pinching the bridge of his nose.

♡ “You want to hold my penis while I pee?” He asks amused and stands up straight again, still shaking his head in disbelief when you nod eagerly.

♡ “Absolutely not” His voice sounded strict but the look on his face gave away that he was highly amused.

♡ You cross your arms over your chest and pout “Then I'll watch” you protest.

♡ Zayne sighs and gently picks you up to set you down outside of the bathroom where the door closes in your face and the lock shuts close. He won't let you hold it.

જ⁀➴ Rafayel

♡ You didn't really want to hold it when he goes to the bathroom you just saw the trend going around on TikTok where people ask their partner that question and thought it's fun.

♡ Rafayels reaction to random, unhinged questions are always adorable to you, all pink cheeks and confused eyes.

♡ So when he strolls into the bathroom for his evening bath, you follow him like a lost puppy, bumping right into him when he abruptly stops.

♡ “What is it, cutie? Wanna join me in the tub?” He asks with a sweet smile and you almost feel bad for what you're about to ask.

♡ His face changes from soft and gentle to confused and almost repulsed, the apples of his cheeks turning redder by each second until it reaches the tips of his ears and slowly creeps down his neck while avoiding your excited gaze.

♡ “For a second i thought you asked me if you can hold my… while i…” he didn't even say the absurdity out loud but you only nod with a far too happy grin

♡ “Wait- You were serious?!” His voice rises in pitch which only adds to your amusement.

♡ So you unbuckle his pants, not planning on doing anything without his consent, just teasing a little.

♡ “Yes? Is that so weird? I mean you've peed before while I was in the tub when we stayed at that one small hotel room,” you remind him that it's technically nothing new.

♡ Rafayel sighs, it's almost an annoyed whine. He hates saying no to you but this seems so absurd to him.

♡ “One time. Just this once so you're happy.” He mumbles defeated and his blush changes from a soft pink into hues of crimson and deep red.

♡ You didn't want to chicken out now either so you pulled through with it, giggling when you actually got to hold it

♡ No matter how much Rafayel whines and pouts after, he did kinda like it but he would deny it until he's in his grave.

જ⁀➴ Sylus

♡ Sylus is no fun when it comes to pranking, always one step ahead and ready to do the wildest things so you knew he would say yes before you even asked.

♡ You gave yourself away with batting your lashes pretty - you always do this when you want something.

♡ “What is it this time, kitten?” He asked with a lopsided smirk, looking you up and down in hopes to find out more.

♡ At this point you considered chickening out, his know it all attitude ruining the fun for just a moment but you smiled sweetly at him.

♡ “Sylus, mighty leader of Onychinos, my handsome boyfriend,” you started with some flattery, grabbing his chin playfully just to keep him waiting.

♡ “Would you… let me hold it when you pee?” You ask with a straight face but it only lasted 0.2 seconds until both of you broke the facade.

♡ Sylus chuckled and shook his head at how ridiculous you sounded but ended up shrugging.

♡ “You know I won't ever say no to you, especially not when you ask so nicely,” he teased and gently grabbed your wrist before dragging you towards the bathroom despite your protest of it being a joke.

♡ “Oh so you're telling me that you're too scared of getting your hands dirty?” He teases, wanting to see you struggle for the amusement.

♡ You ended up holding it with a pout, your cheeks burning while Sylus smirked at you, arms crossed over his chest - he didn't think you would actually do it but he didn't mind it at all.

（・+・マ！

birthday sex with caleb is soo sweet.♡ he’s so eager to pump all his love into you!

like, he’s pressing you deep into the mattress, his large hands pushing your knees up to your ears as he folds you over. your pussy’s so loud, gushing wet juices as he feeds you inch after inch of his fat cock. you can barely breath, mewling out small whimpers of his name.

“s’too much!” you cry, shaky hands gripping the sheets as his heavy cock splits you open. caleb just shakes his head, his eyes too focused on how perfectly your pussy’s sucking in his dick.

“you can take it, princess” he cooes, leaning down to plant a sloppy kiss on your plump lips.

his thrusts are slow and deep, shaking the bed everytime he slams into you. his eyes can’t help but roll back at the feeling your sweet pussy clamping so hard around him. you’re milking him so well!

“oh, fuck” he chokes out, “birthday pussy’s gna kill me.” he says between kisses.

you’re biting back tears from how insane the stretch is, your heads thrown back into the pillow while his cock heads grinding perfectly into that spongy spot.

“caleb! please!” you hiccup, feeling your body tense up; you’re so close to cumming already. your thighs are aching so bad and you can barely breathe, but he doesn’t let up.

Caleb knows you’re close, can tell by the way you’re clamping so hard around him. he can feel that gooey pussy spasming and begging for his cum.

he’s so mean because he pushes his body weight on you and grinds his dick further into your sweet spot. now you really can’t breath! with his weight heavy on you and his cock fucking you so well, you completely come undone.

sobbing out moans, you wrap your arms around his neck and he kisses you.

“that’s it baby, cum for daddy,” he’s so proud of you. loving the way you can’t control your spasming body.

you’re barely able to kiss him back. stars are exploding behind your eyelids. your body’s trying to curl in on itself but it can’t with the way caleb’s laying on you.

honestly, caleb’s barely holding on. your warm pussy is so perfect, tightening around him and squeezing him so well; he ends up cumming sooner than he wanted to. and god it’s so much. just spurt after spurt of heavy, thick cum.

“ ‘m sorry pipsqueak, couldn’t hold it in” he chokes out. his stomach’s flipping, waves of red hot pleasure coursing through his body. he’s panting in your ear and begging you to forgive him for not being able to stop himself.

you feel so full, his warm cum nestled deep within your cunny. best birthday ever!

satoru thought, at first, that dating someone with an oral fixation would just be a bonus. frequent blowjobs for the win!

until he's already hit the back of your throat three times that morning and you're trying to lower yourself to your knees before seeing him off at the front door. a parting gift, you call it! and god does he love the sight of your pretty lips wrapped around his fat cock but he thinks it might fall off with all this use.

he tries everything. letting you sit on a pillow under his desk as he works, so that you can warm his cock with your mouth. he thought that maybe you'd like the weight of it on your tongue enough to sit still for a while, but you can't help but twirl your tongue around his tip and start bobbing your head up and down on his length until he's shooting ropes of hot cum into your mouth.

so then he tries filling your mouth with something else. pushing two fingers between your lips when he's laid in bed with you. but (and this one is on him, he'll admit it) watching you suckle on his long fingers like you so often do on his cock only gets him hard again. he always ends up rutting into you with his fingers pressing down on your tongue anyway.

he gives up eventually and lets you have your way with him and his cock. it's not like he could ask for anything less, he's so used to your touch now that he thinks he'd die without it. plus, his body has always been at your mercy.

I HAVE A SOULMATE? I

C: Kusuo Saiki X Reader

W: The reader is an artist, There are hints at the reader being neurodivergent (my bad guys, I’m autistic), and Y/N is not used.

E: Everyone is born with a gem. Right over their heart. It keeps their heart beating. And it’s connected to your soulmate. When you meet, your gem glows brightly. And if anything ever damages your gem, assume your soulmate is dead. That means you’re dead next. (Dw guys no one dies I just had to add the dun dun dun effect),

T: Soulmate AU, Technically Love At First Sight

You were sitting on a bench way after school ended as you have been for a while. You found peace in sitting outside, sketchbook in hand. But, sometimes annoying friend groups just love to invade your space. Like this one friend group right now, a blue haired delusional boy, a butt-chinned idiot, a dark purple haired delinquent, a short perv, and a energetic gym freak. But the one that some how stood out, only because he seemed almost too normal was the one with pink hair, green glasses, and… hair…clips? The friend group seemed to be pushing him forward while he remained with a blank expression.

You heard their voices getting closer and closer, and you tried your hardest to ignore them. But it was getting worse when their volume seemed to be increasing by the second.

You looked up and saw them approaching. The group pushed the guy you had your eyes on forward and walked away, but not before giving a thumbs up. Your chest, specifically your heart began feeling warm.

“They forced me here. I don’t see you that-” He gets cut off by a bright light coming from his chest and yours. Your heart felt hot, but it was such a beautiful feeling. You looked down and you were almost blinded. You smiled sweetly.

“You’re my soulmate.” You said, completely in shock and disregarding anything he was previously saying.

“Guess so.” He said, actually using his words, not that you would know the difference. “Suddenly” his friends starting leaving for an “unknown” reason.

“I want to take things slow though. Some people jump right to kissing and to be honest, I don’t know you.” You say in the most sincere way possible.

“Thank god.” He sighed.

Do y’all want a part two? I planned on it but only if it’s wanted.

Helloo if I may ask can you do where kusuke makes a little device that removes saiki's x-ray vision and seeing that the reader is pretty?

Pls say yes AND thanks for reading my request beautiful person that i adore 😎.

:3

This was a thought that once occurred in my head; whether I can verbalize my thoughts and write them down is another can of worms.

tiny drabble, may expand on this one, tbh. Not proofread 💔 (none of my works are)

Kusuo knew opening packages from his brother was a mistake—though his mother insisted. Good grief.

He half expected some weird prototype, or even some freaky gag gift—the usual. What did he find? New glasses and antennas, which was odd. His glasses worked fine, maybe it was some sort of prank? His antennae was quite fine as well.

‘To my dear little brother,’

‘I write and deliver to you, my newest prototype! I wish you enjoy my latest findings, and thank me for them. You must use the new set together, you cannot mix and match them!’

‘Warm Regards,’

‘S.K’

Just how annoying could his brother get?

With gentle precaution, Kusuo replaced his glasses and antennas. He didn’t notice any initial difference. Maybe it was some sort of prank? Would he feel a shock? Would he realize that kusuke is monitoring him now? All questions were answered when his father entered. How strange, he wasn’t muscle and tissue…but rather his father. Kusuo’s eyes widened by a small margin.

“Ku, your friend is downstairs, they’re here to see you.”

It was you, you were the only one his mother let in without calling him down first. Perhaps his mother sent his father as a messenger. He merely nodded, he didn’t need his father pestering him with his newfound sight. With his normal, silent grace, he followed his father halfway before she deviated to be in her room.

Nothing could prepare him for the first sight of someone that wasn’t his family. What words could he use? He never used beautiful, handsome, striking, cute, or pretty to describe an organism…so how could he describe you? How do you attribute pretty and cute properly? Sure, he’s seen photos of people, more or less skin, with or without his consent, but they’re not physical. You there and three dimensional. How could words describe you? Skin and eyelashes. Smile lines and crinkled eye corners. Pores and color. Your picture and your personality. Is this how attraction felt? Is this how boys felt when Teruhashi walked by?

No, it couldn’t be. You were the real thing, to him you would be the only real thing.

Very light fake plastic trees mention!!!

★﹐冬のはなし．﹗﹑ KUSUO SAIKI

ミ★ ; "I rejected her." he said, his voice remaining stoic, "Why?" was all you said, tears welling up in your eyes, "Because I like you"

warnings. angst. happy ending. second lead!teruhashi. implied unrequited love. grammar errors

"Saiki, I really really like you." the blue haired girl said, waiting for him to answer the two words she wanted to hear him say; "oh wow." but that never came, not from him but from someone outside the classroom door, it was a surprise they didn't hear her, she assumed they focused on each other. She left before the pink haired boy said anything, going to text him that their cafe hangout would be canceled.

'smth came up sai, i'm srry." — seen

Right. You were guessing that kusuo and kokomis were hanging out at this point, it was no surprise that they would end up together, he'll even some of kokomis crazy fans thought so. Those two were meant to be soulmates, together in every universe.

While you were stuck as the second choice, like always. You wondered if you were to confess before the blue haired angel would everything stay the same? That instead of teruhashi confessing to saiki in that classroom, it was you? That he said yes to you, and not her. You hated how selfish you were thinking, though you were glad you and saiki gotten those matching rings that would stop his psychic abilities, he wouldn't know what you were thinking of.

It was late, and here you were still crying over the pink haired boy, something you hated. You looked at the ceiling, and starting thinking of every universe there was where the two of them would end up together. That's when you heard a notification from your phone;

You checked your phone to ignore the feeling of heartbreak. That was the plan until you saw a message pop up;

"Meet me at the park in 5" — sent from 'ku⁉️'

It was 3 AM at the moment, what would he want this late at—

'I'm not taking a no as an answer" — sent at 3:02 AM

Okay then, you were heading to the park, great.

Once you got ready, you headed out your window, making sure it was quiet so no one could hear you, after that you started head to the park where the pink boy would wait for you. That same feeling of heartbreak not leaving you as you headed to the place.

By the time you get there he was by the swings, swinging back and forth, you went up to him and smiled, he looked up at you and stood up, "We need to talk," he said, that same stoic face not leaving him, "About...?" "Teruhashi confessed that she liked me," "oh. congratulations on getting with her! you two were practically made for each oth—" "I didn't say yes, I rejected her."

your didn't know wether to feel bad for her or not, "Why?" "Because I don't like her" "okay... why are you telling me this?" "Because I saw you outside the classroom door," that's why, maybe he doesn't want you to get the wrong idea about because you always joke about that to him, "Right, Is tha—" "I also wanted to let you know that..." "That..?" "I know you like me, I knew from the start" ah. you thought you were being discreet about it, guess not. "Look. give me time, I'm trying to get over you. Just please— give me more time to get over you" you look up at him and tears begin to show up in your eyes.

The link haired boy looked at you and grabbed you by the cheek, he got near your eyes and wiped the tears that began falling out, "That's not what I meant." "Then what do you mean then?" "I need time to understand what I'm feeling for you, to make sure I'm not lying to you." was all he said, he turned to look the other way, hiding the fact that he's flustered, "And that means..." "It means we could be something more"

And on that night, snow began to fall from the sky on a nice December night.

And Maybe, just maybe, this wasn't a dream.

NAO SPEAKS? i lob my silly little pink haired guy :(

"Open that pretty mouth wider," Sylus growls, his massive hand encircling your throat as he guides his cock past your lips. Your jaw aches trying to accommodate him, but the praise in his eyes makes you do as you’re told.

"This is what happens when you try to take control, handcuffing me to the bed… That was quite bold of you the other night." His hand begins to slowly crush your windpipe as he slides his cock deeper down your spasming throat. Your pitiful struggles only make his vermilion eyes darken with such cruel delight. This is what you get for thinking you could chain him down, it was rather cute of you though.

He starts slow, letting you adjust to the feeling of him stretching your throat. But patience isn't his strong suit, not when you’re on your knees like this.

You try to squirm away but his iron grip holds you in place as he starts to bottom out your throat, using you like some personal pocket pussy. Each thrust causing your beautiful tits to bounce violently, drawing a low chuckle from his chest.

Your vision starts to darken as he cuts off your air completely, reduced to nothing but a warm hole for his pleasure.

"Remember this next time you think about being clever with those handcuffs," he taunts, his hips jackhammering your face as consciousness starts to fade.

"Don’t worry kitten,” he purrs, feeling his cock distend your throat beneath his fingers, "I won't let you pass out… at least not yet."

A choked whimper is your only reply, before you start to taste the salty pre-cum pooling in the back of your throat.

"Take all of me," Sylus snarls, his hands tightening as he pushes his entire length down your throat, your muscles clenching violently, squeezing him so deliciously that he almost loses control. Shit. Nevermind, he can't stop himself now, not when you feel this good.

Sylus' head tilts back, the first rope of cum shooting into your stomach while you try not to choke, "That's it, just like that."

Your face is red, tears and saliva streaming down your chin as he finally pulls from your abused throat. He admires his handiwork with a cocky grin, watching you try to gasp for air.

"Such a good girl for me," he coos, running a finger across your bruised lips.

You try to speak, but he shoves his finger into your mouth, coating it with spit before pushing it down onto your tongue, "Actions speak louder than words. Show me just how sorry you are, I'll allow it."