Readcomiconline.li Dont Show Me Singles In My Area I Dont Care About Sex I Only Care About Batman

imagine being so good at acting like everything is fine even the fandom thinks you are mentally stable ( dick grayson obviously)

You know that TikTok trend like POV: this is your emergency contact.

Imagine being part of a superhero team and your hyper competent team leaders emergency contact is one (1) very flippy acrobat who is 100% here and present in the moment and not being weighed down by the guilt of a thousand deaths. Nor is he seeing any of these shadowy corpses while assisting your team.

No he’s far far too stable for that?

Anyway here’s my list of my favorite unhinged Grayson moments (without panels tho if anyone asks I can prolly track em down)

-Dick licking a random substance of the ground and then going. Yup tastes like heroin

- pulling a gun on Roy Harper (outsiders divorced husbands arc)

- that fight between him and deathstroke

-that other fight between him and deathstroke

- teen titans robin nonsense

- secrets and masks hallucinajaybin being a shadowy amalgamation of ????

- Tim: please be Robin

Dick: how about uno fucking reverse

- literally like 80% of the Grayson Run (specifically any scene with tiger or midniter)

- the desert scene is rated separately bc it’s more insane on its own wdym you walked through a desert for like fuck knows how many days without food or water RICHARD

-bleeding himself to death near radioactive material bc your job is martyr

-bleeding himself to death for his not dad (it’s 100% his dad)

- is it mean to include that ooc time in Batman and Harley Quinn where she ties him up and it’s HEAVILY implied they fucked? Welp I’m including it anyway

- KEEPING THR DISCOWINY COSTUME AFTER MIRAGE??? RICHARD YOU HAVE MONEY USE IT

- young justice robins/nightwings laugh deserves its own mention

-threatening his dad with the promise of adopting his brother

There are more that I am forgetting I am sure. But in summary I love him he’s my son. The fact that he has this much responsibility bc he’s the best equipped worries me about the other characters mental stability

“Dude you totally just combined our color schemes LMFAO…”

“Oh come on! I had a new adult identity before EITHER of you!!!”

“Yeah and that’s not the outfit you first had! Where’s discowing! Where is he!”

“Oh come on…you KNOW he had to retire it because America wasn’t ready for THAT much cunt to be served…”

“True…I have to admit you ate…no crumbs…”

but its important

My favorite thing about reading Dicks thought process vs literally how everyone else views him.

This is the least exaggerated version of this I will willing produce.

-older gen JL: thinks wing is dependable, charming, intelligent and a great leader, impressed how much he’s grown and how well he’s done in the hero world

Heroes his age: the golden standard that everyone tries to match up to and fails at one point in their sidekick-hood before accepting yeah I’m not Dick Grayson and having him lead them in a hero team. The defacto person to look towards in a crisis situation, manages tasks efficiently and doesn’t let personal details affect him. He’s cool, calm and collected while still being the most empathetic man on the planet.

Heroes younger than him: straight up awe. if the heroes who saw his awkward teenage phase, discowing and are privy to his love life info. How do you think people who just saw ‘Mr perfect’ without any of the painful growth to get there and since about 9 billion things have happened since Dick was Robin people have too much to talk about to ever bring it up. I see their thought processes going something like this

-oh my god is that nightwing like THE nightwing like Robins big brother nightwing like the leader of the titans nightwing is he looking at me oh my god he smiled at me wtf wtf wtf until they hyperventilate

(Source how Kow talks about dick Grayson like 99% of the time- ignore all Dan Dido works )

Batkids: awe with a side of insecurity bc that’s the gold standard and how tf are you supposed to get there. Even if you’re an amazing fighter like Cass, the leadership skills, ability to talk people down, make more allies than enemies, infiltrate, lie, cheat, steal, put on a million different masks and come out whole.

How does he know what he’s doing? How does he look so calm and collected when the worlds ending

Batman and Superman (remember when they co-parented in the 60s yeah me neither): like uncomfortable amounts of pride like the type of pride that feels too big for your chest as well as implicit trust.

For B specifically Dick is his crowing achievement as Batman

VS

Dick Grayson at any given moment pre Tom Taylor run: everything is my fault, I suck at everything, I’m never good enough to stop bad things from happening to the people I love it’s all my fault and I will never be able to stop it. My life is an accidental trolly problem except I didn’t know it when I started, I didn’t mean to press any levers I didn’t know what I was doing I am a burden who must make himself useful as an apology.

Like Dick is in a constant spiral of how much he hates his limits and how he just isn’t ever going to be strong,fast,smart or good enough while everyone is staring at him with heart eyes like omg it’s nightwing <3

Arabic in the batfam

@leefail has gotten me obsessed with how arabic would work in the batfamily

because arabic is natively spoken by 230 million people and is taught in any muslim majority to country because its considered poor faith to recite the Quran in any other language.

its also the most inconvenient and stupidly difficult language to learn in human history.

why?

because it is a colonial language

meaning the Arab empire happened and we all switched to arabic but unlike English... there wasn't the internet for people to learn how the 'og Arabs' spoke it and Arabs didn't slaughter and replace like the puritans they just taxed and converted (slaughter optional im not ignoring north Africa but it was region specific)

so that means that arabic which has a collective vocab of about 12.1 million words as well as a nasty habit of giving 100 words the same meaning as well as assigning 1 word like 8 meanings got practiced by these arabic speaking countries differently

so certain words fell out of use or changed meaning in one country while being startlingly popular in another

it also means that a lot of arabic regions maintained their older speech patters

latinised softer letters in levant countries closer to Cyprus due to the presence of Aramaic, syrianic and latin.

harsher more guttural sounds in regions that were closer to Iran.

so what does this mean? and Why does this mean arabic is a bitch to learn

well for one you don't write in your regional dialect, you write in modern standard or fus7a which is a whole other beast. Meaning that you don't really learn to speak in school.

two the dialects are significantly different enough across the region that people who learned arabic in Lebanon won't understand people from morocco.

now we are all SUPPOSed to speak Modern Standard Arabic but you have to understand how little it is used outside of like legal jargon. so you kinda lose it once you leave Arab formal education.

Which means if you immediately default to MSA 99% of Arabs will assume you are a cop like if you know the word for government but not skirt... come on man be less obvious.

Now most us speak 1 -3 dialects and understand 9-10

me personally I speak a levantine dialect and can understand most Egyptian, Jordanian and Gulf dialects. Iraqi and the rest of North Africa (with the exception of Tunisia) not so much.

Now what does that mean for arabic in the batfamily

its too useful for the Bats to not use

so do all of the bats speak arabic 1000%

Do all of them speak different dialects 1000%

Here they are imo

Bruce: Bruce is a cop (MSA) He can code switch and speak all the dialects but he just genuinely likes MSA, its the most complex and intricate form of the language and what's most commonly used for things like poetry and literature. But it does mean that his speech comes off very stilted and cringeworthy to most Arab speakers. The first dialect he learned was definitely Egyptian because its the one that's the most common in music and television as well as having the largest group of people speaking it (110 of the 230 million are from Egypt)

Dick: now I have no evidence for this but Dick Grayson would speak Lebanese arabic. It's notoriously the softest of the dialects and has the most higher pitched and flippy tones. His mother also grew up in France which would Fit for Dick since Lebanese Arabic tends to substitute harsher arabic words with French. the most common greeting in Lebanon is 'Hi, kefak ca va' which is English, arabic and French. And for a cameleon character with such an interesting and convoluted ethnic background I think picking the softest dynamic tongue with the most intersectionality fits.

Jason: Jason todd speaks Jordanian arabic, Jordanians are the most hilariously creative people in the mid east imo. there are turns of phrase from Jordan that kinda make you pause and blink for a second because damn... okay then. I have never met a Jordanian without a degree in the most creative insults you've ever heard. Jordanian arabic is also very close to stereotypical Levant arabic which still maintaining a lot more of the harsher more guttural sounds that countries like Lebanon and Syria tend to exclude. Jordan also has a huge Bedouin population and I just think he'd match that vibe

Tim: Tims parents were archeologist.. Egyptian. Tim has the heaviest Egyptian accent when he speaks arabic. His parents definitely had him learn it in hopes he'd follow their footsteps. Ja become Ga and he works so damn hard to keep the accent out of his words to try and hide any identifiers and he fails miserably. He also uses it the most out of the kids and he can read and understand MSA fluently unlike Dick and Jason who are fine readers but cannot speak it for the life for them. Tim also does the international students Mix and Match where you sometimes just use a word that's country specific to other countries. Tim doesn't tell Damian he understands it and so Damian has the most intense shock of his life when Tim replies back to his angry arabic muttering.

Damian: So I know that talia studied at the university of Cairo but I feel like Ra's speaks a very old form of arabic so I think Damian code switches quite often. I picture him speaking like a Saudi upper court dialect when he's talking with Ra's and I think talia does the same. But I think Damian is most comfortable somewhere in-between Jordan and UAE arabic with more levant terms of endearment (because of the aforementioned softness and ik talia isn't a soft parent in canon but she is one in my heart so there) and more casual speech following GCC speaking patterns. Tho I think Damian can understand and speak all of the dialects including the less popular ones like Moroccan daraji.

Steph: I have zero evidence and not even an elaboration but if steph was Middle Eastern she'd be Iraqi bc vibes so that's what she speaks fuck you im right. It's definitely on the harsher side tonally but idk she gives the energy of using it and teasing Jason and Dick for using frou-frou arabic. Tho I will absolutely make the argument that she learned Syrian arabic for a friend pre her involvement with the bats.

Also Steph, Dick and Jason do sip and bitch sessions and they disagree on the correct way to make coffee. Jason is absolutely a traditionalist, Dick is a Turkish coffee believer and steph adds way too much cardamom.

also also Jasons favorite poet is Darwish, Tims fave is Al-muttanabbi, Dicks is Gibran (ik he spoke mostly in English but tell me Dick Grayson isn't gonna freak over 'your children are not yours they are children of the world') , Bruces is Qabbani. Steph doesn't like poetry but she has absolutely read memoirs of a woman doctor by nasal el saadawi and loved it

Dick ‘has been a barista like 90 times over 50 years of comics Grayson’ can absolutely prepare whatever drink you want him too. He can also guess/ judge what your go to order is.

With the bats

He can guess what WILL be there favorite even if they’ve never tried it before

——————

Bruce on 13 mins of sleep fucking exhausted but even Alfred isn’t giving him shit bc they HAVE TO crack this case: hrn

Dick plopping a take away coffee cup in front of him: DRINK

Bruce goes through a quick is this my son or a shapeshifter, mind control, demon situation before deciding fuck it we ball and taking a sip: this… tastes different

Dick: yeah

Bruce ‘actual freak who grumbles when coffee isn’t bitter enough’ Wayne: this is good

Dick: yeah it’s a red eye

Bruce: hrn

Dick: yeah no problem B

——————

Jay (just got done fighting aliens and needs to get back to whatever he was doing before) : get me a Drink as black as my soul

Dick: sure

Dick brings back the drink from the kitchen

Dick: strawberry iced matcha with oat milk right here for you

Jay: what the fuck Goldie

Dick: I saw you sobbing at the notebook a week ago don’t play tough with me and don’t fucking lie we both know you like tea more.

Jay sputtering: Don’t PLAY TOUGH? BROTHER I PUT A BUNCH OF HEADS A BAG AND MADE THE UNDERWORLD INTO MY BITCH

Dick: yes yes Jay now go drink your tea and run along

(It is the best fucking thing he’s ever tried, bought a matcha making kit as soon as he got him, has denied it ever since but Dick doesn’t buy it and keeps making him the drink)

—————-

Tim:

Dick:

Tim:

Dick:

Tim:

Dick: you’re a heathen

Tim: proudly

Dick: fine take the monster and go OH MY GOD

————————

Steph wincing at the taste of a latte: there’s something seriously wrong with this place, no matter how much sugar I add it’s just bitter

Dick: yeah Steph it’s bc they burn the beans to get more use of em

Dick: you could add all the cream and milk you want it’s not gonna do shit

Steph: ugh this is the only coffee spot on my campus in so screwed

Dick pulling out a takeaway coffee cup: don’t worry I brought you some from home

Steph: Jesus fuck this is delicious

Dick: upside down sweet almond latte with caramel and double espresso

Steph: should’ve married into the family with Tim god damn

Dick: Cass is still an option

Steph: what

Dick: what

——————————-

Dick:

Duke:

Dick:

Duke:

Dick: you’re one of Tim’s heathens aren’t you

Duke: just because I like energy drinks more doesn’t mean I don’t LIKE coffee

Dick grumbling: should’ve left you with the cops

Duke: what was that? I didn’t hear you

Dick thrusting the coffee cup at him: just take it, end my suffering

Duke: oh damn that’s good… what is it

Dick:…. It’s Vietnamese style coffee

Duke: fuck I might I have to switch, Jesus that’s good

Dick vaguely smug: another victory

—————

Dick: hey Cass

Cass: busy… like you should be

Dick: yeah, yeah I have like 6 mins of free time left before I have to meet up with Robin (Tim) for an op

Dick: anyway i made you strawberry hot chocolate

Cass: this isn’t coffee

Dick: it has 180 milligrams of caffeine

Cass: how?

Dick: don’t ask difficult questions

Dick: where the hell did she go?

Dick: is this how everyone else feels about us?

——————

Damian: I want coffee

Dick: you’re an infant, no

Damian: IM 15 GRAYSON

Dick: a certifiable baby

Damian: I hate you

Dick: you would hate me more if you stunted your growth and ended up Tim sized

Tim: HEY!

Damian: this is true… apologies Richard

This is actually peak omg

the first ever ric grayson x roy harper fic <3 i'm a trendsetter.

Dick Grayson wanted to be a contortionist when he grew up rotating his head 180 degrees while keeping body in the same crawling position on the ceiling: what's wrong... are you scared of me

*most creepy Annabel-esque laugh you've ever heard god abandoned us as soon as it was unleashed*

Robin whose mouth didnt move:

Goon:

Villain:

God:

Heros:

Batman: you see why he has a leash now?

Robin bats eyelashes thru mask:

Goon: ... I... can the whites move?

Batman: usually no

Goon: then... how?

Robin:... 7

Goon: wha? seven what?

Robin beginning to move on the ceiling: 6

Robin: 5

I love it when people draw Robin!Dick as a little creepy unsettling child like yes he embodies the blue eyed stare and moves in ways humans were never meant to move in and he never really grew out of it. Like the bright colours, the flips and the quips are so deceiving he’s so unsettling in the way no other Robin could quite replicate. I just know every criminal breathed a sigh of relief when he finally outgrew the tights.

No one

Not a single being

My brain at any given moment: polycule titans

Polycule titans polycule titans polycule titans polycule titans polycule titans polyculetitanspolyculetitanspolyculetiyanspolyculettans hejehehwhrhrjeieheudjhejdjdusjd

The funniest aspect of a child crime fighter is that sometimes they’re going to run into something that makes no sense because they don’t have the life experience. Because they’re nine.

Like Robin runs into a guy who works for The Penguin and the guy just throws his hands up like, “Don’t hit! I’m not an enforcer. I’m an accountant.”

Robin:

Robin, squaring up: I don’t know what that is.