Fourteen And The Toymaker Making Out Sloppy Style But Fourteen Is Actually Kissing Tooth!master

Crowley has a bad habit of being the architect of his own misery.

From what he's sure was Earth's first (and, in his opinion, worst) hangover, to shutting down London's mobile networks only to have to make an urgent call himself, or purchasing the cheapest plant mister and using it in a bluff only to have it leak giving the damn game away, Crowley is frequently frustrated and frequently so at himself.

Now is no different.

He's sitting alone in his car (it still smells like angel and yellow and good lord he didn't know he could be this miserable) with only his plants for company and running through the last few days in his mind and wondering exactly where he cocked the whole thing up.

There was progress, he's sure of it. There were touches, moreso than usual. Hell, he thought he was going to drag the angel off to, well, somewhere, when they were at the pub and he just oh so casually placed his hand over Crowley's useless heart.

He can still feel it, those thick, strong, warm hands that even through layers of fabric felt divine and it made him want things. Tangibly want.

Imminently want.

How was that mere days ago? How had it gone so pear shaped so quickly? He went slow, he did the right things, he tried to protect his angel like he's always done. Well, bugger him for a lark considering how all that turned out.

He knows things now, like the depth of commitment Aziraphale had to the almighty and certainly not to him.

He knows what it's like to love and hate someone in a moment in equal measure. Knows what it's like to have someone awfully close but never further away.

He knows how the angel tastes, the love of his damned pointless, interminable existence, but only when tinged with fury and betrayal and desperation. (It was never supposed to be like that, it wasn't). He knows how soft those lips really are and he knows how those hands would grab him and maybe, in the right circumstances, pull him closer and then maybe-

He wishes he knew less. He'd like to know nothing at present.

But there's nothing for it now, Aziraphale's gone where Crowley can't follow and for the first time in six millenia, Crowley is untethered and entirely alone. Not the kind that protects you but the kind the hollows you out.

He had always promised himself he'd never tell Aziraphale howhe felt, would never break that boundary. Now that he knows how it plays out, he can't help but think he was right, Maggie and Nina be damned.

For the original tempter, the being who brought knowledge to humans and defended that with his entire infernal being, he's currently questioning if this is just one, big, awful joke with him as the natural punchline.

Knowledge, it turns out, is a real heavy burden.

Muttering to myself: "The sets are still there in Bathgate, the sets are still there in Bathgate, the sets are still there in Bathgate..."

I feel like I'm going to repeat it like a spell every single day. Until, you know.

A recap of the panel with Rob Wilkins at The Ineffable Con 4

- About the ending of S2/the kiss: he says that the scene blew his mind. It was not David & Michael but Crowley & Aziraphale. Everyone knew it was one of the most important scenes. There were 3-4 takes but the one we see is the only one that exists. He found the haunting look on Aziraphale’s face really emotional. He also said that he wasn’t prepared for the fandom’s reaction but finds it brilliant.

- His favourite side characters are Bildad, Mrs. Sandwich, Eric and the Dowlings.

- He was really excited to have David, Peter Davison and Ty on set. He wished he could have had a selfie with all of them.

- He says that Good Omens really is like a family.

- He loves the love and dedication fans show to Good Omens. He’s amazed by people who get tattoos.

- His favourite easter egg is the presence of Terry’s hat and scarf. Also, the copy of Good Omens that Jim is reading from is Rob’s copy.

- About red herrings: there are things in S2 that might become more or not if S3 happens. Rob also said that there are things in S2 we haven’t noticed yet.

- His favourite thing about Crowley and Aziraphale is the fact that they’re a unit.

- He genuinely doesn’t know anything about S3 happening or not but he’s hopeful because the sets are still there in Bathgate.

- He has a record of “Everyday” signed by David Tennant and Michael Sheen.

- He loves Jim and how Jon Hamm just went with it when playing him.

@neil-gaiman @theineffablecon

Actually, it's really interesting how Crowley was right in episode 1. Keeping Gabriel around *was* endangering their lives. Beelzebub told him about the extreme sanctions, and Crowley learned how bad it all was, and he knew he had to go back to protect his angel. So he goes back to the bookshop and apologizes. Not because he was wrong though, but because he knows full well the angel made up his mind. Aziraphale WILL do what he thinks is right, even at the cost of himself. Crowley knows him too well. And so he apologizes, even though he was right, and spends all season protecting them both. Perhaps he doesn't tell Aziraphale about the book of life because he full well knows that it wouldn't make a difference. Save some kids and go to hell. Love a demon and be destroyed. Help an old enemy and be erased from existence. It wouldn't matter. So he spares Aziraphale the stress of it and he decides to help as best as he can. The result of it all being that Aziraphale sees all of this as him and Crowley teaming up to do the right thing, and Crowley sees it as saving Aziraphale when he knows Aziraphale won't save himself.

Okay, just curious if I'm alone on this—I kinda don't like the new TARDIS interior. Like, I get that it harkens back to the older designs (yes, including the round things), but it just feels... empty. There's so much blank space.

And take this from a theydy whose favorite interiors are the 8th Doctor’s and the 11th’s first one. I do love that it’s mostly accessible—though some of those ramps to the higher doors definitely aren’t—and from a lighting perspective, it looks fun. But it just... I don’t know, doesn’t feel lived in.

I loved that the 9th/10th Doctor’s chair thing had holes and was slowly losing its stuffing—it made the space feel used. The 1st Doctor had old-timey chairs and random furniture cluttering the space, clashing beautifully with the ship’s sci-fi aesthetic. The 12th added bookcases and chalkboards, making the space feel like a mad scientist’s study, full of ideas and chaos. And the 8th Doctor’s TARDIS? Absolute charm. It had that warm, gothic library-meets-Victorian-parlor aesthetic—cozy, dramatic, and just oozing with personality. It felt like a place where stories happened, not just where adventures started.

And I mean, the 15th added a jukebox, which is something, but I just wish the interior had more personality, more pizazz, you know? Especially since so much of his wardrobe blends old aesthetics with new. A lot of his looks feel inspired by the ‘60s, so why not lean into that in the TARDIS design? Imagine some of that weird, old-timey ‘60s furniture scattered around—those funky, space-age egg chairs, bold sculptural coffee tables, or even a mod-style couch. A black-and-white checkerboard floor or a weird geometric rug somewhere would add so much to the vibe. It wouldn’t just match him, it would make the space feel intentional, like the TARDIS is reflecting his era-blending energy instead of just being a big, empty sci-fi room. But even if they did all that, it wouldn’t suddenly make this my favorite TARDIS design—I mean, the 8th Doctor’s is right there. But it would make the space feel more distinct, more like an extension of the Doctor himself. A more unique, character-driven design wouldn’t just make the TARDIS visually interesting, it would enhance the storytelling. The TARDIS isn’t just a backdrop; it’s a reflection of who the Doctor is in that era. Giving it more personality would make the 15th Doctor’s run feel more his, rather than just another iteration of a familiar aesthetic. It would make the ship feel lived in.

And here it is, the key point (well, okay, one of the key points) - Aziraphale really cannot abandon the idea that Crowley's goodness is an unextinguished spark that he has retained from his times as an angel. Therefore, if Crowley were to be reinstated in Heaven, it would bring him back his long lost integrity and "fullness of joy" (as in the Bible, yes). He knows perfectly well that Crowley is unhappy and has never been happy in all these 6000 years. Of course, he cannot help but want to "put everything back the way it was". And he can't/doesn't understand that for Crowley this is simply not an option.

On understanding and other things

I think part of the reason why that final talk is so painful is because it shows that they don't know each other as well as they wanted to believe. Both of their ideas about who the other is and what they want are based mostly on what they want the other to be and not on who they really are.

They both want to be together, but in different ways. Aziraphale wants them to be on the same side, on the side of heaven. Crowley wants them to be on their own side, one apart from heaven and hell and everything they know, one where they can be themselves as Crowley and Aziraphale, not as angel and demon or even angel and angel.

And I think the reason they want such different things has to do with a number of things that could be summed up in their different life experiences and, consequently, their views on idealism and big changes.

Aziraphale never got over who they were in the beginning. I think for both of them that might have been one of the most beautiful moments of their lives, because they were still together, on the same side, simply in awe of the beauty of creation and unaware of the problems that would arise in the future. It is the only part of their history where they could be on the same side without breaking the rules, so it is only natural that Aziraphale remembers it as the best of times. But it ended with Crowley being unfairly cast out, so it's only sensible that he has a completely different perception.

And Aziraphale still believes Crowley to be an angel. He interprets his rejection of evil and his pursuit of goodness as a remnant of the angel he used to be and his desire to be one again. And actually, this interpretation makes sense, but it’s just not the correct one. Crowley has again and again denied his demon nature, doing everything in his power to do as little evil as possible without his head office noticing, yes, but not because he wants to be an angel.

Crowley has given up the idea of heaven as fundamentally good a long time ago, as it has proven, in more than one ocassion, to be capable of as much cruelty as hell itself in the name of an imagined greater good. Crowley's experience as an angel was good only at the very beginning. Once he learned that heaven was more about following rules than doing good, his idea of it was lost.

In short, Crowley doesn't want to be a demon any more than he wants to be an angel. It is not a matter of which side, but of the existence of sides per se. He does not like the system and does not want to be part of it from either side.

That is why he is hurt, because after so long, Aziraphale misunderstood his true nature. Crowley wants to be good, yes, but not in an angelic way. He doesn't want to go back to the place where rules and great plans matter more than real goodness. He just wants to be himself, outside of preconceived ideas of good and evil.

And so Aziraphale's offer to return to all that comes to Crowley as a disappointment. To realise that after all these years the one person you can consider a friend doesn't really understand you, the one person who has stood by you, listened to you, protected you, and done everything that no one else ever did. That even that person can't understand what you are, well, it must have felt like a stab in the chest.

And the same is true the other way around.

Crowley wanted to think that after the events of s1, Aziraphale had finally accepted who he was and what he (they) wanted. In the same way that Crowley hasn't been good at being a demon, Aziraphale hasn't been good at being an angel, and Crowley thinks that puts them in the same place. But it doesn't, because although Aziraphale is not just a clueless angel who silently follows the rules, neither has he been let down in the same way that Crowley has.

As I mentioned earlier, their difference of opinion is based (not entirely, but largely) on their different experiences of heaven. Aziraphale has been let down by heaven a couple of times throughout history, but none of them could match what Crowley had to go through when he was cast out. Aziraphale knows this, but he can never truly understand it.

So even when they both understand that heaven is not ideal, one of them approaches it with exasperating idealism, while the other doesn't even try anymore.

more doctor who niches i have noticed

people who think that season one was the best / ninerose enjoyers / Don't Skip Nine !! people (honestly so real)

people who started watching in the early 2010s as a kid/teenager & got Attached to eleven

(related to above) people who make aesthetic gif edits of amy pond

people who think clara is an awful manipulative liar who sucks & is bad (she's their favourite character) (often twelveclara people also)

TWISSY ENJOYERS (me)

second doctor / jamie mccrimmon fans primarily

eighth doctor adventure enjoyers (often adults)

(related to the first one) people who got bored partway through eleven & had no prior attachment to david tennant often seem to like nine the most

people who have a deep emotional connection to at least three characters played by david tennant

people who will die on any hill defending thirteen's era (often thasmin truthers also) (though a lot of thasmin people see the Problems with the era theres a subset of people who think chibnall did Nothing Wrong)

people who will die on any hill defending steven moffats writing and every day this pains them (usually have really good analysis) (they can see the problems but can also see the really good parts & how the two are inextricable)

people who think fourteen shouldn't have happened

people who like the tenth doctor in a really intellectual way (usually not tenrose people)

TENSIMM PEOPLE.

people who really like turlough

people who got really really excited whenever susan is mentioned

whatever the doctor and the master have going on is so much more complex than just “enemies-to-lovers” or even “friends-to-enemies-to-lovers” in the most deranged way possible. they’re friends, enemies, lovers, rivals, bitter exes, reluctant allies, arch-nemeses, and they’re constantly, rapidly oscillating between those things. usually they’re more than one of those things simultaneously. they’re lovers who regularly try to kill each other. they’re tentatively repairing their friendship but still can’t trust each other. they’re hatefucking. they’re searching in each other for a lost innocence they can never truly recover. they’re enemies with benefits. they’re each going scorched-earth to annihilate the other. they’re a disgrace to their species. they’re the last of their species. they both want to carve out the parts of themselves that resemble the other. they ran together through fields of red grass under the orange sky of their now-destroyed homeworld and made a pact to run away together to see every star in the universe. i just. do you understand.

Hand, anyone?

Me: Fuck, David aged like fine wine, he looks so hot now

Twitter weirdos: He looks old now

Me: …… you all too young to appreciate men anyway

Oh, RTD, I could frigging KISS YOU!

Just as a proper "thank you" because you dared to give your Doctor an unapologetic happy ending. (With a TARDIS!!!) And if that is not LOVE I don't know what is. That sheer I-don't-fucking-care-what-you'd-make-of-this but I love them, I want them to be happy and if that's in my power I'd give them this. It's love, guys. Simple as that, love that is brave and doesn't look for excuses because it doesn't need 'em.

And you know what? I'm an aro, and I bask in and laugh and cry and feel so alive because I feel incredibly lucky to have this.

Happy, happy, happy. Stupidly, perhaps. But so what?!