NYX #2 (2024)

🌈Happy Pride Month (2024)🌈

Caduceus Vibes

Jaune: Why are you wearing women's clothes?

Mercury: Uh... Just because?

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Mercury: (Bridal carried by Jaune) Y'know, if the internet saw us right now, they would be having FITS!

Jaune: What are you talking about?

Mercury: We must go to different websites, I guess.

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Mercury: (Tied up with Jaune) If you don't quit squirming, I'm going to "unload my shells" right into your "sword sheath"! And by sword sheath, I mean-

Jaune: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!

Mercury: WHAT?! I'm a red-blooded young adult male! It's friction and junk-ology and spandex grinding against leather and JUST PLEASE stop wiggling your bondage rope-

Jaune: WOULD YOU JUST SHUT UP SO I CAN THINK?!

Mercury: DON'T YELL AT ME! That's totally one of my turn-ons!

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Mercury: You saved me~!

Mercury: Just remember, anytime you need hole-filling-

Jaune: Aaand you ruined it!

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Jaune: We are NOT your dads!

Mercury: Don't listen to Daddy Arc, Kiddo~!

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Mercury: Oh no... You drank TOO MUCH succubus juice!

Jaune: (Dancing) Actually, this is the most free I've felt in MONTHS! GET UP HERE! That is, unless you're rhythmically challenged~!

Mercury: YOU DARE QUESTION MY MOVES?! Fine! These ladies want the Merc? (Dancing) THEY'RE GONNA GET THE MOUTH~!

Jaune: BRING IT!

Mercury: (Dancing against Jaune) You... You're really putting on a show, dude!

Jaune: This will never, EVER happen in my life again! I might as well enjoy it~!

Mercury: You sunshine-assed little maniac~! DANCE, YOU FOOL, DANCE~!

Cinder: How long do you think we can make them do this~?

Pyrrha: Until it bores us~.

Cinder: You're alright, Nikos.

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Jaune: ...Why are you holding my hand?

Mercury: It helps me focus...

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Jaune: (Holding Arkos art) Uh, what is this?

Mercury: (Yoink!) NOTHING! Just some fan-art~!

Artist: No, it's true! You were in love-

Mercury: Yeah, with me~!

Jaune: I don't know if I believe you.

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Jaune: MERCURY?! Argh... Figures...

Oscar: I... I don't understand... The spell was supposed to summon your soulmate... I must have messed up the spell!

Jaune: Soulmates?! We're just friends, Oscar!

Mercury: That's what YOU think! But this proves otherwise. It's science!

Jaune: It's not science; it's magic!

Mercury: Oh, you old softie~! Looks like this spell worked juuust fine~!

James Earl Jones

1931-2024

Are you proud of that joke?

How immature does one lowlife have to be to make a joke like this the same day a beloved man both to the people from his life and the people who grew up with his work dies?

How do you go on with claiming to be of indigenous decent when you show no respect or value to the land, people and spirits?

You are disgusting thinking that this is a “dark humor” joke at the expense of another life. Granted you’ve already “joked” about death before, you claim the US jokes about shootings and we don’t, no one does.

What person aside from a sociopath laughs at the pain and suffering of others and things. Show some basic fucking dignity, respect and selflessness for crying out loud.

You can’t backtrack from this, deleting it only paints you worse… and we’ve already seen it.

You are in your 30s and galavanting about like a 13 year old boy.

You are a grown woman, so start acting like one

My condolences and prayers go out to the friends and family of Mr jones.

I hope you’re proud of yourself Lilian Orchard

President Pickles signing his first bill into law granting him official immunity for official acts such as stealing cheese and licking crumbs from the trash

Y'know what? I'd think i'd be pretty funny if Cinder forgot and/or didn't care to lear Jaune's name

EX:

Cinder: Ruby. Weiss. Blake. Yang

Cinder, squinting at Jaune while trying to remember his name: ...Jacob

Cinder: Nora. Ren

Cinder: All of you are gathered here today to witne-

Jaune: My name is Jaune

Cinder: That's what I said, Josh. As I was sayin-

Jaune: My name is JAUNE!

Cinder: Whatever you say John.

Jaune: RRRRAAAGHH

Cinder: Emerald, who was that young hell-fighter?

Emerald: Jaune Arc, ma'am.

Cinder: Arc, eh? I'll remember that name...

"Cinder did not remember that name"

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Cinder: Who is that honor student, Emerald?

Emerald: Jaune Arc, ma'am.

Cinder: Arc, eh? How odd. My research specifically calls him out as an academic failure!

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Cinder: Hm~. Who is that bathroom ballroom dancer, Emerald?

Emerald: Jaune Arc, ma'am. One of the... Pokémon card trainers from Beacon's first year.

Cinder: Well, he's certainly got a foot loose or two~! Perhaps I've found someone who's hotfoot enough to dance with me?

Emerald: Oh, his foot isn't as hot as yours, ma'am. You've never lost a dance competition! Except for that time when you let Mercury win on his dad's birthday. It was very sweet of you, ma'am.

Cinder: Oh, he just looked so sad, Emerald. With his, "Oh... My dad used to hit my feet with a steel pipe like that..."

Emerald: (Giggles)

Cinder: Hm... I wonder if this Jaunem Arcury shares any relation.

Emerald: Unlikely, ma'am. They spell and pronounce their names differently.

Cinder: Bah! Arrange a game and I'll ask her myself!

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Cinder: Excelsior to you, Mr...

Cinder: (Whispering) Emerald, what's the name of this lounge lizard?

Emerald: Jaune Arc, ma'am. One of your Baby-Alives from Beacon's first year.

Cinder: Yes! Arc~!

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Cinder: I'm sure your replacement will be able to handle everything. Who is he, anyways?

Emerald: Uh, Jaune Arc, ma'am. One of your Target Practices from Beacon's first year. All of the recent events of your life revolved around him in some way.

Cinder: Arc, eh?

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ATTENTION! FIRST YEAR PROBLEM ON TEAM JNPR!

Cinder: Team JNPR?! Good god, who's the team leader there?!

Emerald: (Typing into scroll) Uh, Jaune Arc, ma'am.

Cinder: Arc, eh? Good man? Intelligent?

Emerald: Uh, actually, ma'am, he was enrolled on a dare by Professor Ozpin.

Cinder: Oh, well, thank you very much, Salem!

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Jaune: You know what I think of this exam?! (Rips) This! (Rips) And this! (Wipes butt) And some of this!

Cinder: Who is that champion of injustice, Emerald?

Emerald: That's Jaune Arc, ma'am.

Cinder: Arc, eh? New man?

Emerald: (Chuckles) Actually, ma'am, he thwarted your campaign for Fall Maiden. You shot his partner. He saved Beacon from falling. His teammate, Nora, painted you in the nude.

Cinder: Hm... Are you sure? I think I'd remember all that.

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Emerald: Oh, god, he's being dropped into the Deathstalker nest!

Cinder: The fuck's a Deathstalker?

Jaune Dummy: (Perforated repeatedly, Scrapped into a heap)

Cinder: ...Emerald. Who was that corpse?

Emerald: Jaune Arc, ma'am. (Sniffles) One of the finest, bravest first year ever to bless at Beacon Academy~! (Sobs)

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Jaune: (Walking down the hall, Hallucinating)

Cinder: Emerald, who is that idiot?.

Cinder: Emerald, who is that doofus?.

Cinder: Who is that fashion disaster?.

Cinder: Who is that deadweight?.

Cinder: Mushbrain!.

Cinder: Dorkus Maximus!.

Cinder: Dirtstain!.

Cinder: Goofball!.

Cinder: Sextant-deficiency!.

Jaune: STOP IT, STOP IT, STOP IT!

Cinder: LOOK OUT!.

Jaune: Huh? (Falls off cliff) AAAAAAAAAAA

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Jaune: (Chuckles)

Cinder: (Opens office door, Sees graffiti)

I AM JAUNE ARC

Cinder: ...And who in Salem's name are you?

Jaune: RRRGH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Jaune: (Shakes Cinder) JAUNE ARC! JAUNE! ARC! JAUNEARC! JAUNE ARC! MY NAME IS JAUNE ARC!

Jaune: (Pulled off, Dragged away) Oh, you're dead, Cinder. You're dead! YOU'RE DEAD, CINDER!

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Cinder: I've decided to start carrying my weapon closely after I was assaulted last night by an unknown assailant.

Jaune: (Distant) DAMMIT!