Damian And Tim's Relationship In A Nutshell

DC Secret santa 2024 gift for @deven895 :33 

"Malk"

Jason: "Hey Damian, you got anything to drink?"

Damian: "Yeah, in the fridge." Dick: "Hey Jay- Uh- grab me a glass of malk"

Jason: "We don't have any 'malk' but I can get you some milk." Damian: "That's what he just said."

Dick: "Yeah I just want some malk." Jason: "No you're saying it wrong, you're saying 'MALK' like it's a disease."

Damian: "Haha, funny Todd, how do you say it?"

Jason: "I'm saying it the way, everyone ought to say it milk, M I L K."

Damian: "Right like 2 precent."

Dick: "Right whole malk."

Jason: "Nononono, say milkshake"

Dick: "Milkshake"

Jason: "Okay now say milk." Dick: "Malk."

Jason slaps his forehead Jason: "Are you hearing this?"

Damian: "Yeah, the man wants a glass of molk."

Jason: Jason: "Molk?!"

Damian: "Give him the molk Todd!" Bruce outa nowhere: "Damian, inside voices please."

Damian: Sighs "Sorry Father."

Dick: "JAY! POUR ME. A GLASS. OF MALK." Jason: "Why are you yelling at me??" Damian: "Just give him the freakin molk!" Jason: "You guys aren't even saying the same thing!"

Dick: "WE'RE ALL SAYING MALK, JAY." Jason: "No! your saying-"

Damian and Dick: "MaLkkk MaLkkk Malkkk"

Jason, on his last nerves: "..."

Dick: "Moaaaaaaaaaallkkkkkkkkkk" Jason: "SHUT UP"

Dick: ".."

Damian: "." Jason: "JUST SHUT UP"

Jason gets his gun out of his pocket and aims it at his forehead.

Damian: "Put it down, Todd!"

Gets his knife out ready to throw it

Dick proceeds to also get a gun out

Dick: "Don't do it Jay!" Jason: "You're gonna shoot me if I shoot myself?!" Jason: "That doesn't make any sense!"

Damian then aims his knife at his throat, while Dick aims his gun at his forehead.

Dick: "PUT THE GUN DOWN JAY." Damian: "PUT IT DOWN TODD." Jason: "PUT YOUR WEOPENES AWAY!" Jason: "I'M GONNA KILL MYSELF OVER THIS-" Dick: "YOUR LIKE A BROTHER TO ME"

Jason: "I'm sorry I'm late. I was busy with something." Tim: *from the hallway* "HE PUSHED ME DOWN THE DAMN STAIRS." x

Gordon: "I hate to break it to you but I think your wards/team is dumb." Batman: "Dumb kids?" *Batkids doing random shit on another rooftop+choas* Batman: "Wait- Those are my dumb kids!"

i just sniffed something.. AMAZING ART??!?!?!??!

raven and starfire

Riddler: “Riddle me th-“

Batman: “china 1782”

Riddler: “I didn’t even start the riddle! How do yo-“

Batman: “im Batman”

Jason: there is NOTHING I can’t do-

Tim: Kill the joker

Jason: YOURE A PIECE OF SHIT

tim: JUST SAY YOU CANT DO IT

Jason: I WONT

tim: You won’t say you can’t do it?!

*jason pulls out gun*

Jason: FUCK YOU TIM

Tim: FUCK YOU

*fight ensues w Jason throwing his gun in the floor and throwing hands w tim*

In the many rare days of Jason visiting the manor, he pops in and out. One time Duke wanted to go get an errand, so Jason offered to lend a ride.. After errand, Jason goes "Hey kid how bout I teach you how to drive?" Duke: I'm underage man that didn't help, so duke was driving either way, back to the manor a cop pulls up Duke: Oh! Cops! switch. switch. jason: why are you panicking? Duke: Gotham cop sees a black dude driving a white dude's car without no license? I'm gonna be a hashtag by sundown he gets out his phone and leaves it out Jason: The hell you are doing? Duke: I'm not reaching in my pocket in front of a cop, thats the leading cause of death amongst African-american men the cop gets out, duke sees its a black cop from the window Duke: Hold up, wait- Yes! its a black cop jason: Its an emotional roller coaster with you Cop shows up, saying "You've been circling this parking lot for almost an hour, can i see your license?" duke: listen here bruh, i aint got that right now. You know how it is man cop: i aint even trippin' man Jason: Look officer i'm just teaching the kid how to drive cop: then im gonna need to see your license and registiration jason gives his license cop: your license expired 4 months ago jason: ..i'll make a call and get it renewed cop: No your over the age of 20 so you have to go to the DMV and take a driving test he says as he is writing a ticket Jason: what?? cop: and im confiscating your license jason: what?! cop: and im giving you this ticket jason: 250$ dollars?! cop: if you prefer i can impound your car duke: hey let him take the car man its cheaper than the ticket

Babs: Depends on why you want to punch the kid- Looks at Damian Babs: What did little demon junior do this time

Steph, looking at Damian: Babs, would it be wrong to punch a child?

scooter accident

Damian, has a bruised knee goes to Dick for "assistance": "Grayson, I have faallen off my scooter and require assistance" Dick: "Dami look at your knee it's bleeding"

Damian: "The pavement was the victim, I am the victor" Dick: "That's a pretty bad boo boo, just wait right here let me go get something okay"

Damian: "Bandage me in silk and I shall ride again!" Dick, now with bandages: "Ok, we have to clean it first" Damian: "whats that" dick: "hydrogen proxide it'll disinfect it"

damian: "dose it hurt"

dick: "no it won't hurt" damian: "promise?" dick: "okay a little" *dose the thingy* damian: *intensified screams* dick: "sorry i have to do this-" damian: "THE HORNETS OF HADES HATH DESCENDED UPON ME" Dick: "i had to dami"

damian: "i have smelted iron with titan's touch, and forged swords with chimeras flames!"

dick: "oh god" damian: "but never felt the basilik's sting like this!"

dick: "stings a little bit but it's not that bad" damian: "lay two tokens on my eyes for the ferrymen"

dick: "damian-"

damian: "im fading to elysium..i see pennyworth"

dick: "you just had to bring up alfred"

damian: "HE LOOKS BEAUTIFUL" Dick: "damian your being a little too dramatic."

Damian: "I.AM.THE DRAMA."

Dick: "do you want superman bandaid or batman bandaid" damian: "batman bandaid please."