A Collection Of My Favorite Tweets Regarding The Ever Given In The Suez Canal

There's a new swarm of totally real ladies with empty blogs following me, and I'm blocking and reporting them left and right. If you are an actual human person with a brand new account trying to follow me, I urge you to please post *anything at all* on your blog so that when I go to check who the heck you are, I can tell you aren't just a bot-encrusted void. Just a simple "hello this is my lurker account I use to follow people" is enough.

Love it

Time travel caper where the protagonists’ ability to achieve their goals is hindered by the need to avoid interfering with some critical event that seems utterly inconsequential from a contemporary perspective. LIke, you can kill Hitler all you want, but for the sake the stability of the space-time continuum it’s absolutely essential that no action be taken that could potentially delay or disrupt the publication of Skyrim HD.

Let the good stuff in the tags again I not mad just disappointed. ;) Too important to not repost.

crazy how at my age my parents already had children (that they were in no way equipped to raise)

This is the first discussion of The Great library of Alexandria that hasn't made me feel anger and regret I am just confused but I like it

The Great Library of Alexandria was burned for a very good reason. It was hopelessly contaminated with the works of time travelers and the paradoxes were soon to be catastrophic. Only a full purge would save the world.

Good save

“You fool!” cackled the Dark One, “No man can kill me!” “But I am no man!” bellowed the hero, as he unhinged his jaw. A grotesque sound filled the hall as they hacked up impossibly large balls of cloth. Unfurling, they stand and announce “For we are actually three trench coats in a halfling!”

I still get pissy every time I see an illustration like

because THAT! IS NOT! PROPORTIONAL! That is not an accurate diagram!!!

Here! Here is an actual image captured by the OSIRIS-REx spacecraft. THIS is what the distance between the Earth and the Moon actually looks like:

In a country were an unbeatable truth serum with a verified 0% false positive rate is routinely used on all political candidates, the revelation that one candidate is completely clean of any misdeeds is considered terrifying by everyone (voters included) instead of reassuring.

The mighty alien race comes to the human leaders, pledging their unconditional surrender, and even offering peace gifts of immense monetary and technological value. The only problem is that we had no idea we were at war, or that aliens even existed.

You are an ancient, sentient cursed sword known for corrupting even the most valiant and well-intentioned of heroes. However, you cannot corrupt the most recent hero whose hands you have fallen into - not because of their purity of heart, but because of their incorruptible cynicism.

I am but @the-haiku-bot your not a people not that I mind bots like you

i don’t know about you guys but the main reason i am still on tumblr in 2024 is BECAUSE it is the most cloutless least influential social media app out there and that is the experience i am after. absolutely none of this will ever translate into significant attention or real success in my life and that is so beautiful.