Harry Potter And The Chamber Of Secrets Outtake.  The Snake Head Of Jason’s Lucius Cane Gets Caught

If you ever think that Fandoms now are fucking insane, remember that in the 80′s the Star Wars Fandom branched off into two factions called the ‘Cathedral of Hamill’ and ‘The Church of Ford’ as they flamed the fuck out of one another while throwing gay Skysolo fanfic on Mark’s lawn. 

I just think

It’d be really neat if Danny looked more like Martha Wayne than Thomas Wayne.

LIKE

I love the Danny Fenton looks like Thomas Wayne or Danny Fenton is Thomas Wayne reincarnated — but the BEAUTY of Martha??

Of Alfred interacting for under five minutes with Danny, dabbing his eyes and going, “That is indeed Martha,” I WANT IT. I want Martha who was spunky and sassy and wanted to do good for her town the same way Danny wants to do good for Amity Park.

I want Martha who loved to take Bruce and the family out to star gaze because her baby had never seen the stars before, and the way his eyes light up like a mini galaxy takes her breathe away the same way that Danny feels when he turns his head up to the sky yearning for something he knew loved but doesn’t know what.

I want Martha who would literally find trouble in a paper bag because she can’t help her curiosity the same way Danny can’t help tripping over his own ghostly tail and making a mess of things before he figures things out.

I want Martha who would fight men who thought they held power, going absolutely feral from stress the same way Danny does when he’s tired of not being able to do his homework or pick up a vacuum against the wall to clean because ghosts.

I want Martha who loved the pearl necklace that Bruce had picked out for her birthday, and Danny reaches towards his neck and startles when his fingers only touch skin when he is certain there was something supposed to be there. I want Danny whose eyes linger on whites and pearls when he passes by open window stores in the mall, fingers itching to flick a nail against the smooth surfaces.

I want Martha who died bleeding underneath the hand of a gun, hoping to everything above that her boy would be safe, and Danny whose body burns at merely looking at the makeshift guns his parents create in the lab, his heart pounding desperately with a yearning to save there was someone she wanted to save the ghosts.

Steve: how was the honeymoon?

Stephen: Tony got drunk and tried to set our marriage certificate on fire

Stephen: he said “good luck trying to return me without the receipt”

why does anyone in Gotham even bother doing crime like you KNOW the second you leave the bank with the money you just stole Bruce Wayne is gonna be chilling on a bench on the other side of the street in his bat fursuit like “hey bitch u better not be breaking the law”

batman not being in birds of prey is so funny to me bc its like once he hears about harley’s situation, he fucks off to a different country for a “vacation”, and gets the occasional update from alfred that’s like “well sir, she blew up the ace chemicals.” and bruce is like:

and then he goes back to doing weird justice league grade bullshit detective work.

Ladybug: A Young Avenger

Hey Everyone, I got prompt for a civil war ML crossover fic but I was really into Team Iron Man on Ao3 for longest of times and, after endgame, I kind of need some team fluff. So I tweaked the prompt. It’s still team Iron man; just… not the way you’d expect. (Also did anyone know else know that Penny’s last name was Rolling?)

It took Tony Stark all of five minutes to figure out Ladybug’s identity.

“Jarvis, buddy?” Tony called out.

“Yes, sir?”

“What’s up with teenagers and being bug-themed heroes wearing inappropriate costumes?”

Keep reading

Smol Damien Maribat Au

this is such a random idea but imagine: 11 year old Damien seeing 15 year old Marinette transform into Ladybug. Or detransform. This girl who took his moody ass preteen agnst with a smile and offered him cookies and fenced with him and was actually almost decent. This girl who, upon the class/school being kidnapped by X Rogue Gallery Villain (Probably the Riddler. Or Penguin. Someone low-key not going to murder her. but that’s not the point.) Sacrificing herself up to deal with whatever weird mind-games they had in store, giving Damien time to contact Bruce. This girl who then kicked ass and took names and reversed the damage but still checked on everybody else. 

Damien thinks about the Hero Rules his father has tried to instill in him. Thinks about Marinette. Ignores her frantic freaking out and trying to explain and just. Takes her hand. Takes her back to Wayne Manor. 

“We have a sister now.”

“holy shit its fucking GENETIC. BRUCE. BRUUUCE! THE DEMON SPAWN KIDNAPPED A GIRL!”

“he wHAT?!” 

And Bruce is like. Damien. Son. You can’t just kidnap girls, no matter how much you like them. Or how heroic you think they are. He’s sure her family, the family she’ll be going back to in a few weeks, the family in PARIS, will miss her. 

And somehow Damien weasels in visits? Back and forth? And Marinette coos over him bc he didn’t really spill her secret like she asked and she’s very grateful and Damien is adorable. She likes her new baby brother. 

Jason wonders what the hell kind of powers Mari has to reign in the Demon Spawn into something vaguely resembling a real human child. 

Tim is looking between Damien, Bruce, and Marinette, and wondering if it is, in fact, genetic. This is just kinda suspect. 

Dick is cackling like HELL YEAH NEW SISTER! BABY BRO AND BABY SIS HE’S SO READY! LETS BOND!

Alfred just sighs but takes it in stride. Mentally starts picking out Mari’s new room and costume. Though apparently she designs? Perhaps she’ll convince the family to have a costume revamp. (She absolutely does. Their costumes offend her delicate sensibilities.) 

Also Damien just shows up and commends Tom and Sabine on raising Mari and they’re? Confused? But okay. 

They have a son now. They feed him all the things. 

Damien also gets the Rooster Miraculous when he’s in Paris so he can run around with Ladybug. And kicks Chat in the shin. Often. That’s HIS sister, don’t flirt with his sister! This is completely unprofessional. Robin would make a much better Chat Noir. Replace him. 

Mari is just long suffering. Bundles up her baby brother and gives him lots of snuggles while he pouts and protests. He is a mighty assassin! He does not need sisterly affection! … Though science shows that hugs are proven to increase serotonin levels so he SUPPOSES she can continue. He needs all the good feelings he can in Paris. 

Chat wonders where the hell this little bundle of feathers came from and if his Lady will be mad if he tosses him off the side of the Eiffel Tower. 

okay, so:

Rachel is literally one of the richest people in the country…all she had to do was say her full name and that chauffeur in botl immediately cancelled on his client to drive her and her friends around. When you add her wealth and status to the fact that she’s very outspoken about her family’s entire business and organizes and promotes multiple protests and does performance art…like. she’s popular online. no doubt.

Piper’s dad is supposed to be like, the hottest guy in Hollywood, and even though those girls from the wilderness school didn’t recognize her, he doesn’t really strike me as the type of celebrity parent to shield her from the media or events- he wants her to enjoy and take advantage of the privilege she has. I’m sure he’s got her plastered all over his social media and takes her as his date to every red carpet premiere. When you take into account she’s a Troubled Youth™, I’m sure gossip mags and anyone who likes celebrity kids is obsessed with her. 

Annabeth, since Magnus is ‘’’’dead’’’’, is legally the sole heir to her family’s entire fortune, and technically owns the building that Blitz and Hearth are running that wonderful homeless youth shelter out of. I’m sure that will get her some media coverage. 

And then we’ve got…Percy, the kid everyone remembers blew up the St. Louis Arch and I’m SURE there are still debates about whether he was really a hostage or not years later. Frank, who’s grandmother was a wealthy business woman, who hasn’t been seen since his family’s estate mysteriously exploded. Thalia and Jason, who are literally the missing children of a disgraced Hollywood starlet. Don’t you think this could…get messy?

Like…Percy popping up on Rachel and Annabeth’s instagrams, and people who recognize him are just like ‘hey what the fuck’, and internet sleuths who have been obsessed with that case look further into it, and realize Annabeth was also involved in the mysterious kidnapping/terrorist streak, then looking further into her and realizing…apart from her and her nuclear family, everyone she’s related to has died under very mysterious circumstances? Magnus was pulled out of a river with a hole burned into his abdomen. Randolph’s wife and children drowned at sea, Randolph was thrown down a cavern or something, Magnus’ mother was mauled by wolves in her apartment in the middle of Boston…like hello? Then they realize there’s no record of Annabeth like, existing, between the ages of 7 and 12, and…does this bitch even have a birth certificate? Her father’s a notable professor and author, but there’s no mention of her mother anywhere, not even a single picture, and when pressed his life long friends said he just showed up with a baby one day, without even having ever mentioned he was seeing a woman…so this baby just? appeared? one day, with no warning, and now she’s an heiress who owns a homeless shelter in a city she doesn’t live in? what the fuck? The internet sleuths started out trying to crack the mystery of the Arch Bombing and somehow opened up a whole other can of worms.

Oh, right- the bomber! How does Percy Jackson know Rachel Elizabeth Dare?! The conspiracy theorists are worried about that- maybe it wasn’t a kidnapping, maybe the kid really was on a crime spree, and now maybe Rachel is looking to take her protests up to a new level and is looking at this criminal mastermind for help. Some weirdo who knows how to use a facial recognition program and has too much time on his hands identifies them both as being present at the Hoover Dam Riots from a few years ago- the riot that lead to the destruction of those angel statues! The sleuths are then able to pull up an article tying both of them to an explosion at their high school- but with Rachel’s father’s wealth and Percy’s stepfather being a respected teacher there, it’s no wonder charges were dropped! They then find some other weird, buried reports- Rachel stealing a helicopter and flying it into Manhattan? Rachel appearing to have deranged, mysterious ‘episodes’ in the middle of class? Wait, what the fuck- Percy’s school principal reported him as a missing person, and his mother and stepfather were uncooperative with the police investigation? Then Percy showed up 8 months later and claimed his aunt kidnapped him, but wouldn’t give the police any information past that?

So the sleuths start digging into those 8 months- there’s security camera footage showing Percy, looking haggard and homeless, stealing a cop car? around the area of that huge explosion in Rome? spotted all around Greece in the days before the bombing at the Parthenon? What the fuck? 

Then, holy shit- they find footage of him and missing teen Frank Zhang getting onto a private plane less than 20 minutes after the Zhang estate was blown up?? These conspiracy theorists aren’t even barely ready for this rabbit hole. The Zhang kid isn’t very active on social media, but combing through Percy Jackson’s pages they’re able to find a few images of him. Recent, post-estate bombing ones. Most of them appear to be goofy selfies with Percy and an unidentified girl that was also spotted on the security footage with them, but there’s one group shot that catches everyone’s eyes- because apart from featuring the weird Chase girl, what the fuck is that Tristan McLean’s daughter????

So they start combing through Piper’s pages- she’s more active than the Zhang kid, but apart from posting her mugshots with goofy captions, going on rants about meat-eaters, and posting videos of her dad being weird, she doesn’t have a lot of information. Except…one internet sleuth that joined this internet search party swears she recognizes a boy that pops up in a lot of pics on her instagram. Some more digging and they got it- it’s Leo Valdez, the kid who was accused of killing his mother! He’s got some cousins that have been trying to clear his name for years now, but they haven’t been able to find him because he keeps running from foster homes, they have a whole page dedicated to people trying to track him down! They contact the Valdez family members, and they’re elated to find out he’s alive and safe- but then it becomes a question of how does he know Piper McLean and what was he doing with her, Percy Jackson, Annabeth Chase, and Frank Zhang in Greece around the time of the Parthenon bombing???

They start looking into the other two teenagers pictured with the group in Greece- they can’t find anything on the young girl, other than the Jackson kid referring to her as ‘Hazel’ in some of his posts, but the other boy…

He’s not very active online- just some aesthetic coffee shop pics, a few blurry selfies, and designs for what appears to be an architecture project at his school. But his username is ‘*disgraced*’, he’s called ‘Jay’ and ‘Jason’ in posts by his friends, he’s got blond hair, striking blue eyes, and a very specific scar on his lip…

THE TRUE CRIME COMMUNITY IS FLIPPING THEIR FUCKING SHIT. DID THEY JUST FIND BERYL GRACE’S MISSING SON AFTER 15 FUCKING YEARS?!?!?!

Sleuths completely drop the bomb plot at this fucking point, and put all their energy in finding out if this is The Jason Grace, and- they literally can’t find a record of this person before he suddenly started appearing on Piper McLean’s and Leo Valdez’ media profiles. It looks like all his social accounts were started in August of the year he would’ve turned sixteen. But he’s the right age, he looks close to the computer generated age-up pictures made for the case, and- holy shit someone found a picture on Percy Jackson’s instagram of Jason and a girl called Thalia!

People are losing their minds- this girl looks a lot younger than the 20-something Thalia should be, but Beryl Grace was known for her innocent baby-faced look, so that can explain the difference between her and the aged-up picture. Same striking blue eyes as the boy next to her, same freckle pattern splashed across her nose, same raven hair and sharp smile that made her one of Hollywood’s biggest beauties before she could even talk properly. 

She doesn’t seem to have any social media herself, but pops up in quite a few of Jackson’s and the Chase girl’s pictures. Once Beryl Grace’s old friends, who have been searching for her children for years, see the picture of the smiling siblings together, it’s nothing but tears. They’re insistent that these are absolutely the Grace siblings, and are begging the police in charge of their case to track them down. They want to know they’re safe! And the rest of the world wants answers! Where have they been for all these years!

And how are they connected to what appears to be an ongoing bombing/murder/money grabbing plot????

what is going on here?!?!?!

 All this information gets dragged up in less than a month. People are going full Pepe Silvia level crazy trying to piece everything together. Netflix has already announced a conspiracy documentary about the hunt for the truth about this band of kids and what their end goal is.

Chiron’s just sitting at Camp Halfblood watching all this shit go down like:

Annabeth’s little brothers Bobby and Matthew are going Full Feral Gen Z online to fan the flames of conspiracy, “oh yeah the first time we met Percy Jackson and Thalia Grace they stole our dad’s car and drove it off a mountain”, “one time Annie stabbed a man in front of us”, they post a tik tok of what appears to be Annabeth and Percy drenched in blood and dust cleaning off weapons??? They set an ABBA song over it??? Everyone’s losing their minds but then one day on a live stream people start asking if they know Why their sister and her friends are like this and they just dead pan, ‘oh, they’re all demigods. the ancient gods are all real and it just gets messy for their kids sometimes, Annie’s mom is Athena-” and everyone is like ah. they’re just assholes feeding us false information. (they still post tik toks like ‘put a finger down if one time your sister took you out for ice cream but then this weird man who would later hold the titan kronos in his body showed up and begged her to run away with him so he could avoid the kronos thing even though she was like 15 and he was an adult and then she pulled out a knife and told him she should slit his throat after all he’s put her through but then he called her out on her bluff but still accepted the rejection and left and then she offered to get you a second helping of ice cream if you didn’t tell your parents about that whole thing and then later the ice cream parlor was attacked by a snake woman’ lmao)

Anyway, desktop detectives keep pressuring the police and the fbi and whoever the fuck to look into this whole thing deeper and make some arrests, but they can’t, because while everything that’s been surfaced is suspicious, it’s all circumstantial. The only ones that actually have arrest records are Piper and Leo( and Leo’s was without evidence, as his cousins are still fighting to get the case reopened!), all charges on Percy and Rachel have already been dropped or overturned, there’s absolutely nothing physically connecting Annabeth and her father to their family’s deaths, Frank was never actually a suspect in his family’s fire and while the footage with Percy was suspicious it wasn’t illegal, and they still haven’t been able to physically produce the Grace Siblings or even get a phone number for either of them, so like….all that plus the occasional intervention of the Mist, even though it absolutely looks like this is a whole criminal master plot…they can’t prove it! Just taking a group picture on a boat in Greece isn’t enough to legally claim they bombed the Parthenon!

This all comes to a head when the Netflix docuseries premieres, full of the online theorists who pieced this whole puzzle together but where unable to find the last piece that would connect the whole plot and make it make sense….

Percy Jackson films a video of him and all his friends who are fingered in the docuseries watching and reacting to it. They think it’s completely hilarious. He posts the video to his youtube channel (which Sally later Murders him for) and it’s the top trending video for like…half a fucking year. 

like…the drama. the mess. the conspiracy. I want it. 

Part 21! Close but no cigar…

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