Heres An Idea. What If They Talked

The hill I will die on.

Nature really went off with sperm whales. A 70-ton predator with teeth the size of a banana but it only eats squishy prey that it doesn’t even chew, it just schlorps them down whole like a vacuum cleaner. Big giant fat head full of goop. Tiniest fins in the world. Strong enough to smash a ship to pieces and smart enough to figure out how to do so but its first line of defense is just to shit everywhere. Possibly the most complex language in the animal kingdom and it creates sounds by blowing air through its internal right nostril (it uses the left one to breathe) into its giant fat head. It’s the loudest animal on the planet and might have the capability to create a beam of sound so loud it can shake your organs apart but they don’t seem to use that to hunt or fight. They’re highly flammable. We used them to make candles.

After learning of the existence of Magic, everyone started to “cheat” the system, treating magic like bugs in a game. The only person to follow the set rules of Magic is you. Which is good because the bugs have just been patched.

I never read the hobbit, but I HAVE read lotr and the silmarillion, but I just learned that the battle of the five armies, that part they made a WHOLE movie out of, is only 1 page in the book because bilbo gets hit by a rock and wakes up when it’s over. 10/10 no notes, that should have been the movie too

I was a slasher villain covered in bleeding runic carvings with one arm that was a heavy iron blade, most of the dream was spent in a therapy session for issues completely unrelated to being a murderer and possible cannibal.

Monument valley & cores by qing ying

"came back wrong" but it's from work

Bilbo's been living in Erebor for a few years as the king's consort when he gets word from the shire that a little baby hobbit has been entrusted into his care and can you come pick up your baby cousin please so Bilbo and Thorin make the journey to Bag-end to collect little Frodo, but for various reasons (probably safety/general dwarf secrecy idk) they don't tell anyone other than Balin the reason for their journey

All this to say can you imagine the chaos that ensues when Bilbo and Thorin mysteriously disappear for months and then return with a hobbit baby with blue eyes and dark wavy hair

remember kids

Artist 🎨: @vhsdogs

Mad about politics again