Credits: @/thealiciacook On Instagram. I Strongly Related To The Line That Said ‘you Would Just Want

Look at those scratch marks. LOOK AT THEM. This was no misunderstanding. This person could’ve spoke a different language or not have the ability to speak at all and their message was still 100% clear and he 100% care only for what he wanted. Stop saying this BS. Stop joking about rape. Stop dismissing victims.

Me trying to figure out how loki has all these powers yet decides to stab Thanos

i don't think anyone really understands the levels of being passively suicidal like it doesn't matter where i am or what i'm doing i'd still rather be dead and it's so exhausting

I wonder if this is common: As a kid I would lose all emotions for periods of weeks or even months, I would feel nothing and live as a zombie, it felt like nothing mattered and nothing could touch me. During these periods I had very little patience or consideration towards others, I would sometimes snap at people or fail to offer reassurance and comfort, and I’d feel incredibly guilty afterwards, but still couldn’t force myself to be kind and gentle at all times. I just wanted to be left alone and not hurt anyone. It would scare me, just how out of control everything was and how much I didn’t care, I would try to force myself to feel something, I would do dangerous things to myself to try and force a reaction, because it felt like I wasn’t a human being anymore, and as if I wasn’t even alive. I would eventually be able to snap out of these by sinking into fantasies and dreams of things that gave me hope, there wasn’t much but I wanted to stay human no matter what.

I understand today I had to be dissociated from my feelings to that degree to stay alive thru traumatic periods of my life. I have very little memories from these periods except occasional fear that I wouldn’t be able to come back to myself and feel things. Do you remember struggling with this? Is it more universal type of experience of childhood trauma?

Send in your confessions here, please specify they are confessions.

Dear diary... (Trigger warning)

At 13, I hoped I would never turn 15.

At 15, I hoped I would never turn 18.

At 18 I thought that would be it. I thought I would be dead before I got to see another year.

I never wanted to make it this far.

Now I'm about to turn 20...

I hate the fact I'm still alive. I hate that after so many years of wanting to be dead, and actually trying to die, I made it to this point.

I feel so lost now. I never wanted to live this long. But I'm stuck in this world. I could never find a way out in all those years, and now I'm doomed to keep living a life I never wanted.

I wanted to die. But I'm so useless I couldn't even get that right.

“sometimes I wonder how it would feel to break down. to grab things and smash them to pieces. to scream and show everything I feel inside on the outside instead. and I wonder if it would help. to let go like that. to say, fuck it, and not give a damn whether you’re locked away in some dingy asylum away from all things sane. when you have felt crazy for so long, you wonder why it should matter to finally stop pretending that you were ever okay that you were ever sane or normal that you were ever anything else at all. let. it. breathe. and let them lock you away. let them blot your name from the history books. to finally not exist… perhaps at last you’d feel something close to freedom.”

— broken thoughts