Ellie + Text Posts

There have been several theories put forward as to why there is such a high concentration of strange disappearances in the Appalachian mountains.

Those theories include ones born of extreme classism such as wild men, cannibals or cults. The more esoteric ones are tolerable, theories such as Sasquatch activity, alien abduction, Not Deer related activity or strange cosmic shifts in time and space.

As an Appalachian person, I personally think it’s because the caves are eating people.

Now hear me out, that sounds wild but really stop and think about it. When no one is around, who is to say that caves don’t come alive and start sucking people in? Think about how many sets of remains with archeological significance have been found in caves worldwide? You could say that it’s because evolutionarily modern humans and our ancestors occupied caves for hundreds of thousands of years. You could say it’s because they’re perfect dark tombs to bury our dead in or to crawl in when your injured and need shelter. Or you could say the caves eat people and have been doing that since the beginning of time. That’s what I choose to believe and that’s why I don’t go near them. Artificial caverns like mines are more mouths for the earth to feed with and that’s why I don’t go near them either. I’m imploring you to watch your back whenever you’re near a known cave and don’t venture into limestone cave country alone.

We put steel bars over the mouths of caves here in western Virginia, you may be tempted to believe this is to keep people from vandalizing the inside, disturbing endangered bat species or wandering in and getting lost. That’s not true. I know it is a muzzle for the cave. One of those Hannibal Lecter face cages to keep it from eating you. Watch out. I’m warning you. They’re lying to you.

https://x.com/trtworld/status/1785959608168731091

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Jesse we need to be careful with the people in charge

Tongs?!?!

The vet just described Leeloo’s lungs from her last check up as sounding like “Diet Coke poured over Rice Krispie’s”, a description that dealt me a fair bit of psychic damage. She must have been so fucking miserable.

But today she’s sounding amazing, her lungs are nice and clear. Unfortunately she needs another round of X-rays to see if her lungs collapsed permanently or of they’ve resumed better function now. I can delay them until after I get my loan disbursement but if anyone wants to take advantage of my commission sale it’d be put to great use toward my muppets bills.

For those who’ve donated as this is going on I cannot even stress enough how much it’s helped me out, I adore you and your generosity.

Leeloo says thanks too!

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez pointed out that many young people are concerned about having kids because climate change will make the planet increasingly uninhabitable.

Fox News hosts are now claiming she wants to “get rid of children.”

USA TODAY

Human with Neuralink brain chip sees improvement after initial malfunction, company says

Neuralink has fixed an initial setback, writing that a small malfunction seen with the brain chip no longer impacts a patient's ability to u

"It's working BETTER after it broke" sounds exactly like something one of Elmu's companies would say.