Hi, You There Who Are Or Are Thinking About Spending All Day In Bed, It’s Okay, I’m Not Telling You

Tiles! I want to have a kitchen wall full with different designs

It’s wild when you’re disabled and have adapted your entire life to be able to function even a little bit and people will still think you’ve “given up” or “let the illnesses win” because you allow yourself to rest. Grind mindset is garbage.

A personal vent - this is my experience and may not reflect other autistic experiences.

Approximately 16% of Autistics are in full-time work.

Approximately 32% are in some form of paid work.

I am in the 16%. And it fucking sucks.

"You are doing so well!" No. I'm not. I'm mentally extremely unwell and in constant burnout. But it's either this or being homeless.

"You must be high functioning then." Besides the terminology, it's kinda a no, too. I high mask. I don't function at home. I can barely take care of myself. It's all fake.

"Count your blessings!" No. This is a curse for me because I was late diagnosed and forced to live NT for 36 years of my life. I am not coping and I am not happy on an autistic level.

I don't go out, I can't watch shows or movies because I'm too exhausted, week-ends are barely enough recovery time, I'm in therapy that's holding the flood at bay just barely.

"You should just quit." I can't. We would lose everything and in the current economy my husband's income is not enough. We'd lose the house, the cars, the cats (which are like my children). And finding another job that pays me $29+ an hour for what I do isn't easy or a guarantee it won't be worse for me.

"You are so lucky to be able to work." I'm not. Please, my sweet dumplings... understand that I'm not.

｡ﾟﾟ･｡･ﾟﾟ｡ ﾟ. 2024 will bring blessings.

ﾟ･｡･ﾟ

this is your gentle reminder to stop fighting against your adhd and instead structure your life around it

buy a pack of chapsticks and put one in the pocket of all of your coats and jackets because you always forget to bring one and chapped lips is sensory hell

leave important things where you can see them. if they go in a box or a drawer you will forget they exist

put any appointments or deadlines in your phone calendar As Soon As you get them. set a reminder for a week before, a day before, an hour before, as many as you need as often as you need them.

when that little voice in your head says "i dont need to write that down, ill remember it" that is the devil talking!!! write it down anyway!!

plan for down time. have a few hours at the end of every day to just do fun stuff like engage in your hyperfixations. even if you didnt get all of your work done that day, have the rest anyway. you probably spent the whole day beating yourself up for not doing what you Should be doing, so you still need the break.

if you never eat vegetables because its too much effort to chop and cook them, get the frozen or canned shit. it doesnt go off for ages and you just have to microwave it. theres no point buying fresh vegetables if they just keep going off and being left to rot in the bottom of your fridge

if you struggle to decide what to have for dinner every day, take the decision out of it. choose a set of meals and eat those on rotation until you get sick of them, then choose some new ones and do it again.

its not stupid if it works! our brains literally have a chemical deficiency. you are allowed to accommodate yourself. go forth and stop making your life more difficult than it has to be because "this shouldn't be this hard". it is hard, so make it easier.

Gordon Mortensen (b.1938, American)

Spring Flowers

"Back during the pandemic" "when covid was still a thing"

Covid is killing over 1000 Americans each week. Covid is the 3rd leading cause of death in the US. Covid is still spreading and mutating. Only 16% of Americans have gotten their boosters in a "vaccine only" strategy to fight the disease (that doesn't work because vaccinated people can and do catch and spread covid). Covid is still a very real threat to you and those you love. Stop talking about it in the past tense. Stop living a lie. It's not 2019. You'll never live in a "post covid" world. Our wishes for "normal" have destroyed any chance of a true end to the pandemic unless we act. Mask up and stop the spread if you really want to past-tense covid.

there was no perfect path. you did not get punished. your life did not unravel when you made a left turn. the memory will always be there. you can visit whenever you want. there is no alternate timeline where you made a better choice and got a happier ending. you were a little girl chasing the ice cream truck, playing hopscotch, swinging and aiming for the never ending blue. yes, the grief was waiting up ahead. but so was the miracle of saturdays in a car headed wherever you wanted to go. enough sky to wrap around every wound. friends who, despite your perennial bouts of silence, kept an ear close at all times.

what is it with able bodied people saying “get well soon” after you say that you’re chronically ill?? like? i am not gonna? and i once literally responded with “i’m not gonna, it’s chronic, as in permanent.” and they went like “oh well, hope you get better!” like bro 💀

like man doesn’t it fucking suck that there’s not really any public space. that you can’t go anywhere without spending money on food or transportation, that unless you wanna sit on a mall bench all day or browse library shelves you basically can’t do anything in public? even standing in front of a building without paying for something (“loitering”) is illegal. everything is built to punish homeless people which means if you ever want to sit down or rest or exist in public every building and park bench and windowsill is telling you to kill yourself instead. maybe that has something to do with the unpleasantness of online spaces, where everyone is shoved together into a giant digital chamber because it’s the only “public square” still available while also being isolated and alone in their room on their phone because everything sucks and a global pandemic is still happening. like I’m just saying I think that has more to do with how annoying people are on the internet than like mcu fanfiction