Gregorsheart - ♡♡♡

“do you want to talk about it?”

no, i want to kill myself because of it.

Mandatory literature we have for the next week is literally a short smut story... what the fuck is this school?

Today I went to Kunsthistorisches Museum Wien so I'm posting the least atrociously photographed art I have from there ^^

Behold! Helena Fourment! (Only real ones know the context) (I am ashamed to admit this painting was the entire point of the trip and even after seeing it with my own eyes I still dislike it lol)

Judith with the head of Holofernes:

1. Carlo Sacareni

2. Simon Vouet. Always a pleasure to see his work in a gallery.

Ancient statue of godess Isis. She's so badass looking and the two colors of marble, breathtaking.

Girl in a fur, Tizian. I have no idea if Masoch ever saw this painting so just in case I am in love with her for him. But genuinely, my favourite from the "new" paintings that I saw today.

Me n who? (Idk who they are ngl)

Apollo and Daphne, Jakob Auer. One of those that impressed me the most.

More Apollo.

Dionysus, good to see you!

Aaand souvenirs:

(Somebody cure me of autism please)

holy shit i just learned something beautiful

Some are calmer and it's just something that pulls me closer to certain things. But I love some special interests so much that when anything even remotely related to it is mentioned, the excitement breaks the scale and turns into physical pain. Full body reaction, discomfort with vague pain in my chest. So filled with joy that I burst and it turns into misery again. But special interests give my life a meaning and were almost always the reason why I chose not to kms.

My special interests feel like they are studying themselves on their own while things that don't interest me are sometimes impossible to study. Often when I'm researching a SI, questions start spawning in my mind and they spiral to the point where finding the answer becomes impossible and I become frustrated. It's like I'm trying to zoom in to an infinitely small point that I know I'll never get to, but it still hurts.

autistic people: what does having a special interest feel like to you?

(and if u want to say, what is your current special interest?)

All my attempts at re-reading Venus in Furs are spoiled by me immediately starting to cry

Why can't I donate my living body to science

Just as I think that this can’t get any worse, I am always unpleasantly reminded that, yes. This can get worse. (x)