Jew Here With A Friendly Reminder That:

The Count in his Count Mobile.

got fuckin DAMN i love being alive!!

hey you reading this, we're both alive RIGHT NOW

and like, that doesn't have to be intimidating, you don't have to do ANYTHING right now, you can just hang out! you'll be alive for a while, we have so much time to be alive, so no need to rush!

and how sexy is that?? I think that's really cool

I love you

bitches will have the scared disorder and be like why am i so scared

can we give a quick shoutout to fat women real quick. Please

Pangaea was wasted on the dinosaurs. Imagine the railway network.

ive been seeing so many ads that are like "tariffs are gonna start soon and nobodys gonna be able to ship anything !!! thats why you should buy our product while its on sale :)" and its been driving me nuts because its so ungodly out of touch

Nothing pisses me off more than those TikTok ads that’ll go something along the lines of:

“America is falling apart and we’re all quickly descending into fascism! Anyway go buy my T-shirt with some slapstick liberal stock phrase so I can exploit and profit off of your grief!”

“how is annabeth head of athena cabin” have you ever met an autistic 12 year old girl. she’s running that shit like the navy

every morning I wake up and think of these words from philosopher cher