Sometimes I Think ‘when Was The Last Time You Kissed & Felt Alive' I Always Think Of You. I Haven’t

"I'm so scared of losing you I'm already missing you"

My Heart's Thoughts

I believe in everything until it’s disproved. So I believe in fairies, the myths, dragons. It all exists, even if it’s in your mind. Who’s to say that dreams and nightmares aren’t as real as the here and now?

John Lennon (via lifeofquotations)

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Each time I try to get up, your memory comes back & throws me back down to this pit of missing you. When does this heartbreak end?

-My Hearts Thoughts

Why did it have to end?

we belonged together

"You were the light in my eyes. The sweet, warm fire that made me glow. It was all for you, every shallow breath, every lonely sob, every happy hug and every gentle kiss. All the stinging pain and honey love we had; it was yours, all yours."

- My Hearts Thoughts

“FUCK YOU!!” I scream and throw your teddy bear across the room, something falls, something breaks. I don’t care, I love you. I can’t even say I loved you, I probably always will. I just left someone because I’m still too broken over you. My love life is ruined because nobody is going to be you. And I hate it, I hate you for it.

My Hearts Thoughts

I ended up having a really interesting conversation with some people at the bus stop today. They were getting out of some sort of ‘clean and sober’ meeting and had starting saying how they were so bored because they didn’t have anything to do, and had to stay at home because all their old friends would pull them back. So I said something like, ‘So this is the time to do all the stuff your parents told you they didn’t have money/time for!’ “Whatcha mean?” “You know, like when you were five and you REALLY wanted to have that toy or do that thing and you were like, ‘Please mom please I gotta have this I gotta go do this’ and they went ‘Hell no you think I’m paying for that do you want to goddamn EAT?’ “ And this light went on in their eyes. The lady is going to go check thrift stores for an Easybake Oven and I told her about Wilton cake decorating classes. The dude is going to Griffith Park and ride horses, because, ‘I always wanted to be a cowboy, and you can’t drink when you’re on a horse ‘cause you’ll fucking die!’ Fuck it. This is what being an adult is. Sure it’s bills and work and relationships, but damn it, it’s also time to do the things you LIKE. I signed up for a free class/lecture on Water Gardens. I’m going. It’s time.

We got married last February btw, we're free from so many things now and we're doing our best with our current issues. But y'all, we're doing it! Just because things seem impossible now doesn't mean life won't find a silly way to give you the love you deserve. 💖

“I need you so much…

I just want to curl my fingers in the hem of your shirt and bury myself in you…

But that’s hers to do…

Not mine…

You’ll never be mine…

To need…

Especially not the way I need you.”

- My Heart’s Thoughts

"I love you" No you don't, your calling me a liar. A love without trust is like a ocean without salt... So a lie

- My Hearts Thoughts

“Oh darling, do u remember when it was just us, stranded in the middle of our love in an "empty” hallway? I got so stuck on asking why that my heart stopped for a second when I realised you were looking me deep in the eyes repeating, “I love you more”, I’ll never forget. Do u remember under the stairs, our lips collided into a bliss I never thought existed. You held me securely, your kisses have always been soft, honest yet never shy. I looked up at you with wondering eyes, “your everything to me” I said, I’ll never go back on those words. You put your forhead to mine and said, “your mine” I’ll never forget. Now I’m laying here in bed, in between our memories, missing you. Our story will always be my favorite, no matter how troubled it gets. I’ll always love you with a burning passion, a calming completeness, I promise, I’ll never forget.“

Stardizzydreamer on tumblr aka. Star.sebstan on IG