The Energy And Naturally Everything In My Life Started To Flow Easier When I Recognised That I Was Placing

The mutuals were so right. Reading On Self-Respect by Joan Didion DOES stop you from losing your fucking mind

Nha Fala (2002)

Colman Domingo in conversation with Jacob Elordi for Variety's Actors on Actors

obsessed with her vibe

I’m going insane trying to read every book, watch every movie, write everything I’ve ever felt or wanted to say but didn’t, languages I want to learn, too much i want to do and so little time, and life’s responsibilities just keep piling up and agghhhh your page always makes me feel like I could do it but I don’t know, how do you do it?

It doesn’t sound like you are enjoying it when you do read, watch, listen, write. Because where is this pressure coming from? These are hobbies, rituals, ways to relax. They are not routines and you can’t check them off of lists. The things we love deserve more space in our lives than that. There has and always will be responsibility for everyone who does read a lot and study a lot and similarly for people who prioritize other interests. The internet speeds time up, disorients us. My blog is 10% of my life and interests. I may post about learning Portuguese once after an entire year of dedicating myself to it in silence. These things aren’t goals. Ive never thought to myself “i need to write more”. In fact I force myself to write less and meditate more so that when I do write it comes out perfectly formed from the deepest depths. I don’t understand when this started, this idea that your desires can be looked at with the same toxic productivity lens that you would see your job through. Its enough. You will read and write and learn when you stress less about how much you haven’t done. Pick up an audiobook on your way to work or school, start small. And breathe. These things aren’t going away.

🎬 Ritual in Transfigured Time (1946)

Women have another option. They can aspire to be wise, not merely nice; to be competent, not merely helpful; to be strong, not merely graceful; to be ambitious for themselves, not merely for themselves in relation to men and children. They can let themselves age naturally and without embarrassment, actively protesting and disobeying the conventions that stem from this society’s double standard about aging. Instead of being girls, girls as long as possible, who then age humiliatingly into middle-aged women, they can become women much earlier — and remain active adults, enjoying the long, erotic career of which women are capable, far longer. Women should allow their faces to show the lives they have lived. Women should tell the truth.

—Susan Sontag, "The Double Standard of Aging," The Saturday Review, Sept 23, 1972

(Philo Thoughts)