hecrtgolden
Matilda Yaxley. Written by Charlotte.
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Matilda didn’t like exploiting her friends' kindness. She disliked it almost as much as she disliked not having a stable home. But at this point, the blonde has learnt to accept that the hands she’s been dealt are pretty shit - and even if she tries her best to put on a happy front - it all just kinda sucks. At least she’s got a tent. It could always be worse.
The tent in question is set up in its usual spot next to the pond in the park. She feels a lot less alone knowing the ducks are just outside. Plus, it’s quiet - or at least it is until almost midnight when what sounds like a footstep breaks through the silence. Matilda is quick to grab the flashlight next to her and unzip the tent ‘‘ whose there? ’’ she calls into the darkness.
‘‘ yeah, i know. ’’ she says quietly, eyes facing the heavens. ‘‘ it just seems we get beat down a lot more here, huh? ’’ there is a small huff that escapes her lips as she turns back to Bash. ‘‘ you don’t reckon I could take them down? I’m tougher than I look. ’’
‘‘ fuck ’’ she mumbles. She burns with a desire to do something, anything. She was too young to do anything for or about her mother, and because of it her Dad just wonders free. Maybe she can do something now. She’s not sure what, but she has a feeling she’ll have plenty of time to work it out. ‘‘ this is fucked, bash. ’’
morbidity was a talent of sebastian’s whereas sugar coating , not so much . though someone that attempted to shit out sunshine and rainbows such as tilly made it tempting to do so . ❝ i think they already are one , ❞ bash stated nonchalantly . nevermind his thoughts on if it was even connected to previous known murders or not , it seemed unlikely to be caught on the first time . no , bodies after bodies tend to rack up before a lead was even treaded upon .
Sammy is almost always the first to throw the punch. It’s a fight or flight instilled in him - gifted even, by his father. And when his anxiety levels are already high, so are the rest of his emotions. He’s barely slept, bags under his eyes from a four-day stand-off with his dad, so when a couple of older men that used to tease him in school make a snide comment about his mother, he’s the first to throw the punch. Every ounce of frustration that has built up goes straight to his fists as he swings, ‘‘ Fuckin’ say it again ! ’’ He’s spitting like some feral animal, barely registering the hands that grab him from behind and pull him away ‘‘ No - let me fuckin’ at ‘em, I can take them. ’’ the heel of his hands press into his eyes as he tries to bring himself back down. ‘‘ they’re always fuckin’ pickin’ at me, that group of fucking pratts are. They called the fuckin’ cops on my brother last week as well ! ’’
❝ i’d say darkness and misery is a pretty pleasing aesthetic , ❞ and pretty accurate for this shitty town bash was merely destined to r o t in . ❝ so , i’d say you know well enough . black and blues is as far as I can go , ❞
matilda is sitting on the floor behind the counter, trying to eat a sandwich as quickly as possible. They’re now ‘ down a staff member ’, so she’s doing a shift ALONE for the first time. It is an odd feeling, and she’s trying to keep herself busy as to not focus on or feel the overwhelming grief that comes with loosing a friend. The sound of the door takes her by surprise - of course, their first customer of the day is going to come while she’s trying to have lunch - and she quickly wraps it up before the familiar voice echoes through the shop. She stands up quickly, a smile forced across her features. ‘‘ good afternoon, darling boy ! ’’ its bright, it has to be. ‘‘ i mean, you’re welcome to still do so if you wish, i’ll just close my eyes. ’’
DESPITE LACKING EMPLOYMENT THERE , the record shop would be one of the first places anyone who knew nickie would look , should they be on the search for him. less so lately than usual , but loitering around the shop and bothering its employees ( mainly his sister ) was typically one of his go-to pastimes. wandering through the door , the first thing they noticed was how quiet it was , not a soul in sight. " anybody here ? " they called out , hoping someone might emerge from the back rooms , " hope you know I'm going to start stealing things if I'm left alone for too long. " it was a joke , sure , but one that had the likelihood of quickly becoming reality if he grew bored enough.
CLOSED STARTER | FOR MATILDA YAXLEY ( @hecrtgolden )
( Kathryn Newton + cis woman + she / her ) 🠒 john hughes movie by maisie peters is something that resonates with matilda yaxley. the shop assistant at record this! record shop is glen ellen's very own broken bird, who has been in town for twenty years and while they are only twenty five, they can be very naive but if their friends mentioned them, you'd think they were more benevolent. in a town where every one knows everyone, it's hard to keep a secret, but i think the killer knows that [ redacted ], and it's bound to get out sometime soon. i wonder if the killer also thinks of symptomatic by peach prc, butterfly clips, always chipped nail polish, glitter eyeshadow, handmade bracelets, smudged mascara, bruised lips like i do, when i think of them.
full name — matilda yaxley nickname(s) — tilly, tilda, millie. name meaning — battle mighty age — twenty five date of birth — march 19 place of birth — fresno, california current location — glen ellen, california, us gender — cis-woman pronouns — she/her sexual orientation — heterosexual religion — agnostic occupation — assistant at record this ! record shop education level — high school family — louise yaxley ( mother, deceased ) , daniel jones ( father ) , evie yaxley ( maternal grandmother, deceased ) , jose yaxley ( maternal grandfather ) finances — working class spoken languages — English
medical diagnosis’ — post traumatic stress disorder, anxiety, depression, pyrophobia
Inspired by : NELL CRAIN (THE HAUNTING OF HILL HOUSE), JANE EYRE (JANE EYRE), JO & AMY MARCH (LITTLE WOMEN), SCOUT FINCH (TO KILL A MOCKING BIRD), ELIZA DOOLITTLE (MY FAIR LADY)
TW for abuse, fire, stalking, Metal health
- Matilda was the only child born to louise and daniel, although she always craved for more. In her earliest years she begged for a sibling. She said silent prayers to a god she didn’t believe it and whispered it into Santas ear when december rolled around. She never got a sibling, no, instead her parents separated.
- two houses, two homes, two kitchens, two phones. two birthdays, two christmases. it was FINE, but it made her sad. She wished so deeply for a nuclear family. Instead she got awkward handovers where her dad will rip her from her mothers arms and moan that she was a BITCH.
- When Matilda was seven, her life was flipped on its head in the worst way. The divorced was being finalised and as a result, her Dad set fire to the home where she and her mother slept. He was the first on the scene, the first to pull his only child, terrified and screaming, from the burning building - ‘the heroic dad ’ the headlines went mad ‘ hero dad braves flames to save daughter ! ’.
- It didn’t take long for his plan to foil though. The police were onto him from the get go. They just needed evidence. They watched him carefully, allowing him to lap up the glory like a dehydrated dog. Five weeks after the event, he was arrested on suspicion of pre medicated murder, malicious arson and endangering the life or health of a child. He lost custody of Matilda and she was sent to live with her ageing grandparents.
- her grandfather was already living in a care home when she moved in, the dementia had set in some years prior, and her grandmother had said she was grateful he would never know the weight of grief over their daughter. They visited him three times a week, and life with her grandparents was slow but comfortable.
- five years later, when Matilda was almost thirteen, her father was released due to a lack of evidence. He was not allowed contact with his daughter until she was 18 and could make the decision herself, but he was still always there. she could feel his eyes watching from afar.
- When she was eighteen he became persistant. He would show up at her school, at the house, on street corners. Begging for her attention, and when she refused he would throw out threats to her life and her grandmothers life.
- Several months ago Matilda lost her grandmother and with that the home she lived in. She has been living with friends (sofas mostly). He is still everywhere. He comes to the record shop often, and even though he’s barred now he stands outside and waits for her.
- Still, she is almost naive ( it’s probably the trauma ! ). She has the sweetest most kind heart in the world . Queen of ‘it’s fine ! I’m okay ! How are you ? Do you need anything ? Tea ? Coffee ? A hug ? Oh no I’m not projecting I’m fine !’
tilly takes a seat next to him, legs crossed and shoulders bumping slightly. ‘‘ and what is the vibe ? darkness and misery ? ’’ it's light and teasing ‘‘ if i didn't know better, i would think you have an allergy to color. ’’
hecrtgolden:
‘‘ This ’’ she says quietly, trailing her finger across the ceiling ‘‘ this is where the split should be. And here, on this side - the evening sun. Lilacs and baby pinks. Yellow trickling through. and this side - this would be midnight rain. Navy’s, blacks, hundreds of tiny fibre optic lights for stars. Brooding clouds and tiny raindrops. ” A sigh escapes her lips as she jumps down from the ladder. “ That’s just how I would decorate it, if I was you. ”
@bashscmmers
the roll of golden hues came rather naturally when around matilda . probably due to the pure opposites that they’ve grown to be . in fact , her description was a pretty good indicator of their own dynamic . tilly , sunshine and rainbows . sebastian fit the broody rain and clouded aura . ❝ i don’t know if i could tolerate that much sunshine , even if it is split . doesn’t quite fit the vibe . ❞
‘‘ nah, not a chance . ’’ Sammy responds, head shaking knowingly as he lights up the cigarette between his teeth ‘‘ my moneys on some group of teen fuckwitts who came up with this masterplan during some underage drinking game - not two braincells to rub together between ‘em i bet. ’’
𝐒𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐄𝐃 𝐃𝐎𝐖𝐍 𝐀𝐓 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐔𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐃 with slight amusement. sure, whoever was doing this was some sick fuck, that is if it wasn't some bored highschooler that got a hold of the area codes. rolling her eyes, phone locks. ❛ hundred dollars that it's some computer geek in highschool ! ❜
| 𝐎𝐏𝐄𝐍 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐑 | 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐩𝐮𝐛𝐥𝐢𝐜.
“Madness as a defense against terror. Madness as a defense against grief.”
— Susan Sontag, from As Consciousness Is Harnessed to Flesh: Journals and Notebooks 1964-1980
Kathryn Newton as Margaret THE MAP OF TINY PERFECT THINGS 2021 | dir. Ian Samuels
‘‘ This ’’ she says quietly, trailing her finger across the ceiling ‘‘ this is where the split should be. And here, on this side - the evening sun. Lilacs and baby pinks. Yellow trickling through. and this side - this would be midnight rain. Navy’s, blacks, hundreds of tiny fibre optic lights for stars. Brooding clouds and tiny raindrops. ” A sigh escapes her lips as she jumps down from the ladder. “ That’s just how I would decorate it, if I was you. ”
@bashscmmers
‘‘ Some proper dead joke though, innit ? ’’ Sammy mumbles, gesturing to his phone that lies between them. He doesn’t think much more needs to be said to clarify what he’s talking about. What most people have been talking about all day. ‘‘ all jokes aside n all that, what shit for brains thought it was funny ? Whoever it was, I reckon we could find ‘em if we rub our ‘eads together quick enough. I’ve even got a tin foil ‘at I could wear for the occasion ’’ he adds, stretching his legs out across the grass while pulling out a grinder, ‘‘ fancy a smoke? ’’
@hvrrorsfm
Matilda sits cross legged on the counter as she watches Jesse lock up around her. Her shift technically finished over an hour ago, but the combination of a familiar yet unwelcome face lurking across the road and the unsettling recent events didn’t exactly have her rushing to leave. She takes a sip from a bottle she had picked up during her lunch break and saved till now, extending it to Jesse.
‘‘I have a very very very important question ’’ she starts, pulling her legs up to her chest ‘‘ do you wanna come to the park and swing on the swings with me ? I might even push you if you’re lucky ’’
@hvrrorsfm
Sammy gets to work early most days, which is surprising given his famously shitty time-keeping habits when it comes to his personal life. Today, however, he’s running late. Not late late, he’s still got time to spare before his shift actually starts - but only 20 minutes or so rather than the usual hour he gives himself to lounge behind the bar. The reason is the shining new black eyes he’s sporting as he walks in. ‘‘ just me ’’ he mumbles - not feeling as talkative or irritating as usual. ‘‘ we got any ice packs back there ? ’’
open ! where: local bar
it’s a little insane that the local bar opens as early as it does, nevertheless, benjy is there if not a little just… hungover, not from alcohol itself but just sheer tiredness that feels just about as painful as a hangover. believe it or not, the local bartender didn’t partake in much drinking, but shit at home was not going great, he had a whopping medical bill to pay for his dad’s home healthcare worker and he looked at their accounts last night and it wasn’t going all too great on top of their kitchen sink just absolutely breaking, spraying water everywhere. shit piled up, and by the time he opened the doors and checked restock and turned on the goddamn television a murder happened over night. or early day. either way, it was all over the television and he leaned back against the bar to look up at the screen and said, “shit,” before turning to face the customer. “well that’s cheery,” he mumbles underneath his breath, just what this town needed really. “what can i get for you?”
( JONATHAN DAVIS + CIS MALE + HE / HIM ) 🠒 PARENTS by yungblud is something that resonates with SAMMY TURNER. the drug dealer / bartender at glen ellen’s local bar is glen ellen's very own DIRTBAG who has been in town for fifteen years and while they are only twenty five, they can be very SHORT FUSED but if their friends mentioned them, you'd think they were more LOYAL. in a town where every one knows everyone, it's hard to keep a secret, but i think the killer knows that [ REDACTED ], and it's bound to get out sometime soon. i wonder if the killer also thinks of bloodied knuckles, care bear plasters, misplaced anger, shotgunning at parties, black nail polish, discarded baggies, a thick cockney accent like i do, when i think of them.
full name — samuel alexander turner nickname(s) — sam, sammy. name meaning — god has heard age — twenty five date of birth — april 1st place of birth — hackney, london, england current location — glen ellen, california, us gender — cis-male pronouns — he/him sexual orientation — homosexual
height — 5′11 religion — agnostic occupation — bartender / drug dealer education level — high school family — douglas turner ( father ), katherine turner ( mother ) joshua, caleb, poppy, beau, max, mila ( siblings ) finances — lower working class / poor spoken languages — English
medical diagnosis’ — adhd, depression, ptsd, anxiety, oppositional defiance disorder
voiceclaim — danny dyer
Inspired by : James Cook ( Skins ), Mickey Maguire ( shamless ), Neil Sutherland ( the inbetweeners ), Nathan Young ( misfits ), alex karev ( greys anatomy )
Tw for abuse, substance misuse, violence.
- Sammy is the second eldest of several children born to Douglas and Katherine Turner. He grew up in a two bedroom housing estate in Hackney, London. He attended a state school on the verge of closure, he ran wild ran the estate with friends a lot older. He did everything and anything to avoid going home. Nobody saw the signs - or more, nobody wanted to see the signs.
- Douglas and Katherine did not parent well. They barely existed well. Douglas was abusive in his methods with a temper that couldn’t be controlled around adults or children. Katherine, sweet Katherine, grew tired and fearful. Trapped and complacent. Josh and Sammy basically took on the role of parents to the smalls.
- Shortly after his tenth birthday the family immigrated to the states. ‘too much trouble over ‘ere’ Douglas had mumbled.
- Coming into teenage hood, Sammy grew angry. Angry at his situation and the cards dealt to him. He had always struggled in school, but now his behaviour was unmanageable. It was like his body was constantly in fight or flight mode. ‘Defensive, Lazy, Unmotivated - a teachers nightmare’ - all words scrawled across his report cards over the years. they don’t care, Sammy had realised. They don’t want to listen to my screams for help. nobody fucking cares.
- It would have been obvious, to anybody who stepped back and looked at the entire unit, that Sammy had a magnitude of odds stacked against him. Some days all he needed was a fucking win. Somebody to turn around and say that they saw him. Nobody did. He was pegged as a failure before he even had a chance. Nobody cares !! Nobody cares !! It’s all his fault and nobody fucking cares !!
- Douglas only grew angrier with age and the aggression only got worse as his kids grew stronger and started to fight back. Stupid sack of shit - you’ll never win against him.
- Sammy knew he would never win. He knew by fourteen that it was futile to try. He took whatever fist was thrown at him, and he spent his teenage years stepping between his father and his siblings, pleading with his mother to do something. If she couldn’t protect them, he would. Josh had grown useless in his own years. While Sammy only felt anger, he felt a strong desire to step away and keep his head down. Coward - why don’t you grow a better fucking coping mechanism !!
- aside from the obvious, there was another undetected reason for Sammy’s piss poor school performance. He couldn’t read - not well at least. He had managed to skirt by this issue for the majority of his life. He used their own diastase of him to hide the embarrassment. He spoke in jibberish with a shit eating grin when asked to read aloud, made sexual innuendos when questioned about board work and kicked off or doodled on school tests. Fuck it, if they didn’t care, why should he?. Until one teacher did, one who had been eyeing up the boy and taking note of his deteriorating behaviour for a while. He kept him back one afternoon and asked Sammy to read a passage from the assigned text to him. Sammy did the usual - pout and moan and roll his eyes and demand to be let go for lunch. This interaction repeated itself again and again, and after years of screaming to be seen, he suddenly wanted to be left alone again.
- this teacher didn’t leave him alone. In fact, he invested in Sammy. He encouraged him to take up drumming, and payed for his lessons (unbeknownst to Sammy, who assumed it was free), he tutored him after school and once building up some trust he took Sammy for an eye test one afternoon. It transpired that not only could Sammy not read well, he couldn’t see very well either. The opticians where shocked at how he had been going about day to day tasks with one blind eye and the other with intense short sightedness (not that he will wear the stupid glasses. Fuck that).
- Adulthood doesn’t feel too dissimilar to teenage hood, Sammy finds. It’s still just misdirected anger and school runs he didn’t sign up for. It’s still running for your life against wolves, it’s still fight or flight and pre conceived judgements. It’s still untamed loyalty that his teachers swore he would grow out of. The only difference is while he once questioned why the universe just wanted to piss on him, he know understands it’s probably deserved.
WANTED CONNECTIONS
- Exes / hookups / fwb: Sammy is massively touch starved and falls for people very easily (though he will never admit it). He always tends to be the one to fuck it up though
- The teacher: as stated in his bio, this teacher has a massive positive impact on Sammy and changed the course of his life. They still check up on Sammy and is no doubt teaching the other Turners right now. They may even be Sammys call when he gets arrested for dumb shit.
- best friends: while Sammy can appear to be a pos, he has the biggest heart in the world. He really is just misunderstood but once he builds a connection he guards it with his life.
Enemies: It’s well known this boy likes to throw a punch or two - if you’re lucky it could be you!
Clients: As well as working at the bar, Sammy also deals drugs. The money is mostly used to support his siblings, so really it’s like charity! The more drugs you do, the more shoes there are for the kids!
Potential partners: I have nothing to say but 😢 give him one good thing
