I Was Today Years Old When I Learned That Not Only Do African Queen And European Queen Exist, Not Only

WE NEED MORE DANCING MUMMIES

There are fewer music videos featuring dancing mummies than I expected. 1997 had two, Around the World by Daft Punk and Everybody (Backstreet's Back) by Backstreet Boys. Nearly a quarter of a century went by until we had another, Nadiyon Paar (Let the Music Play Again) from the 2021 Bollywood movie Roohi.

Music videos that I expected to have Ancient Egypt-theming but don't for some reason (?!) are 1979's Egypt by Kate Bush (more modern Egypt/ruins-themed, OK fine) and, most surprisingly, 1986's Walk Like an Egyptian by The Bangles.

Granted, those were still relatively early days for music videos, but damn, Walk Like an Egyptian really phoned it in. Not even a little Cleopatra eyeliner for the performance or a picture of a pyramid projected on the background or something? Just a quick blink-and-you'll-miss-it flash for a few seconds of the four members of the Bangles in some really bad costumes that read more Temu Ancient Greek than anything? Weaksauce.

There are lots of music videos that are Ancient Egypt-themed but are sorely lacking in dancing mummies.

- King Tut by Steve Martin (1978) - Egypt (The Chains Are On) by Dio (1984), which is technically a concert recording (Live at The Spectrum 1984) but it's themed as fuck so it counts - Tut-Ench-Amon by Falco (1984) - Valley of the Kings by Blue Murder (1989) - Remember the Time by Michael Jackson (1992) - Put Your Hands Where My Eyes Could See by Busta Rhymes (1997) , which features a pastiche of themes but that's OK, it slaps - The Curse by Josh Ritter (2010) - Dark Horse by Katy Perry (2013)

Honorable mention: Suraj Hua Maddham from the 2001 Bollywood movie Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham. Because pyramids.

Hot Relationship Tip: Be kind.

That's it. That's the post.

Kindness is seemingly such a simple concept, but I think it's underrated. In established relationships, it can be too easy to drown in layers of sarcasm, irony, and cynicism to the point where genuine affection isn't really expressed. Not good.

These days, when I want to explain my divorce without getting into too many details, I'll say that being in 2020 lockdown made me see just how mean he was treating me all the time. It's the truth, and it's interesting (and maybe sad) to see how many people genuinely nod and get it. Like yeah, who wants to be around someone who is just plain old mean to them all the time?

Praxis starts at home. Concepts like axes of oppression exist to describe social issues, not to justify interpersonal cruelty. Being awful to your partner isn't "punching up". Kindness isn't ever too big of a priority.

other people love to go on about how WOW I am so organized with my spreadsheets and taping-off of dead outlets and labeling light switches and you wish you were so on top of things and and AND--

it's all very nice, thank you. but! what exactly is the alternative? are y'all really just remembering things??? off-the-cuff???!!!?! *ALL* THE TIME!?!?!?!?!

[ toxic positivity, allusions to CSA/religious abuse ]

Inspirational speaker at work event, singing a song called It's a Gift: "All the people, in the prisons and cathedrals, we're all the saaaame."

My brain, immediately: "Definitely not the same. One place is full of thieves and abusers, and the other is a prison."

fun little Stray musical Easter egg

so I was poking around for more info on the composer for Stray. IMDB?

ok, cool. but I want to know more. to the personal site!

so charmingly minimal, but I want to know even more. Twitter?

wait a minute. where do I know that screen name from?

*gasp*

British Egyptologists were the original weebs.

It's a crime that no one has done an adaptation of the Iliad where the gift horse whose mouth went tragically unexamined is a mint vintage Ford Mustang secretly rigged up with explosives.

Someone who identifies as straight: *flirts with my non-binary ass but is visibly confused that they're attracted to me*

Me: "I'm going to wreck you..."

Them: *shudders in mixed fear and arousal*

Me: "...r concept of what counts as sex and the construct of virginity."

*pulls out whiteboard and worksheets*

"Let's start with Hanne Blank."

Real talk re calling yourself an atheist vs. saying you're agnostic:

If you're willing to have believers preach at you because they think you're open minded and indecisive, say you're agnostic.

If you'd like to skip the preaching and go straight to the anger at you for daring to so shamelessly exist without belief in a deity, say you're an atheist.

Either way, they're going to be mad at you. I prefer to save myself the trouble, personally.

(For the record, I'm technically an agnostic atheist, but that is a concept almost no one gets, so I say one or the other when I'm not in the mood or place for giving a big philosophy lesson.)

love how so many cultures looked at cabbage and thought like "Let's put this in a well-seasoned, mildly acidic solution along with some other veggies, like carrots and onions, then let some friendly bacteria have its way"

curtido, kimchee, sauerkraut, band gobhi achar -- all s-tier sour crunchy sides