Unnamed Grief

A little gift/ preview for @freezer-bride-your-sweet-divine

(Thank you for your support in navigating tumblr and your endless feedback, I REALLY appreciate it)

This piece will eventually be part of my series,

https://archiveofourown.org/series/4163446

Or maybe it won't, but I felt like it was a waste to scrap it entirely!

Unnamed Grief

Chapter 0, Prologue

It’s not that Bruce doesn’t love his sons.

He does.

Fiercely.

To the point of agony.

To the point of madness.

But they are sons.

They are legacy and reflection and consequence.

Dixie was origin.

Dixie was genesis.

Dixie was the very first moment he knew what it meant to live for someone outside of himself.

The moment that reshaped the architecture of his soul, rerouted the pathways of his cold, calculating heart.

Dixie didn’t make him Batman.

She made him Bruce, in the softest, most staggering ways.

He can explain why the others matter.

Jason needed saving.

Tim needed purpose.

Damian needed undoing.

But Dixie?

Dixie needed nothing from him (except, maybe, understanding, the one thing he was never able to provide her with) and yet she became his everything.

She wasn't the best of them because she was flawless.

She was the best of them because she was HIS.

His In every ugly, broken, radiant piece.

She was never built to be a soldier, even if she learned to fight before she learned to laugh.

She was not meant to carry the burdens she bore, and yet…God, she CHOSE to.

She chose to carry them.

Her brothers.

Their world.

Him.

Always him.

Even when he failed her.

Especially when he failed her.

Bruce knows all of his sons.

He can break them down, read their patterns, identify every fracture in their psyches.

But Dixie? Dixie remained unreadable, unknowable, even being the one he has known for the longest time, even being the one whose bones were shaped just like the ones he has known since before his own birth, his mother's.

She was his daughter in a way the others could never be, not just by blood, not just by name, but in understanding.

She KNEW him.

She knew him in the way a mirror knows its subject.

In the way a grave knows its dead.

None of the boys have ever looked at him the way she did, like she could see every ruin inside him and still believed something beautiful lived there.

Jason rages at him.

Tim studies him.

Damian judges him.

Dixie forgave him (Dixie raged and she studied and she judged too, but in the end she forgave him, she ALWAYS forgave him).

Again.

And again.

And again.

And that was a terrifying, holy thing.

Because forgiveness, real forgiveness, from someone like her…it CHANGES people.

The boys push him.

She grounded him.

The boys rebel.

She resisted.

She defied with love, with laughter, with hands that mended what others destroyed.

She wasn't his soldier (even if he knows she often viewed herself that way).

She was his compass.

He is not a man of poetry, but she made him one in the quiet moments.

Made him remember what lullabies sounded like.

Made him believe in softness.

Made him ache.

And he knows…it’s not that his sons are less.

It’s that Dixie was more.

More Bruce.

More memories.

More mystery.

More herself, in ways that none of them ever dared to be.

His sons always belonged to the world. She always belonged to him, not by ownership, not by right, but by that old, unshakable bond formed in the abyss between his birth and hers, between his grief and her grief, two wounded things clinging to each other like breath.

She was the child he never asked for, the one who became his first everything and the one who saved them all.

How could anyone ever compare to that?

They couldn't.

They never will.

More Posts from Helecthra and Others

1 year ago

I actually wrote a fanfic centered around cabin 7, in which one of the main characters is Lee Fletcher. I already made a post about it, because the fanfic itself spawned from a tumblr prompt whose author I can't find (the post was on Pinterest and it was cropped).

The fanfic is called "Cabin seven's tango" and it is on Ao3, here is its link!

archiveofourown.org
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

ALSO ALSO

THERE SHOULD BE MORE FANFICS ABOUT THE SILLY BACKGROUND CHARACTERS

CASTOR, POLLUX, LEE FLETCHER, MICHEAL YEW, ETC ETC!!!!

please


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1 year ago

"This fic was ai generated—" Cool, so lemme block you real quick

1 year ago

I WANT FOR AO3 TO HAVE A FILTER TO TAKE OUT ALL THE FICS I'VE ALREADY READ CUS MAN I'VE READ A LOT

1 month ago

Writing the AU of one of my own AUs, I discovered that, in my mind, Wally West enjoys the musicians of the summer of love.

Idk why, it just kinda fits, expecially because I dare you to look me in the eyes and tell me that Wally West wasn't made to belt out at the top of his lungs " With your love" by the Jefferson Starship (I know, back in the '60s they were the Jefferson Airplane, but alas) half-jokingly serenading the love of his life.


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1 week ago

It may take me a while to finish writing and publish the 18th instalment of Robin's Blues (I am after all, once again, in exam season) but I will make it up to you all with some snippets of another work of mine!

Behind Blue eyes, entry 1

Alfred both loved and hated his granddaughter’s blue eyes, Thomas’ eyes.

He loved them because they reminded him of the man who once laughed through halls and who smiled like he held all the secrets of the universe.

He hated them for the same reason.

And now, they’re gone.

It should be a relief.

It is a relief.

But it’s also a wound.

Something sacred has vanished.

And Alfred is nothing but pain and reprieve held in the same trembling breath.

Because Thomas is gone.

Because Thomas will never really leave her (him).

https://archiveofourown.org/series/4163446


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1 year ago

Honestly I barely know how to throw in a half-decent impagination, but this is really, really useful.

@Fanfic writers:

My friend send me this link, is a series on a profile on Ao3 (tumblr) that has different tutorials to insert things to fanfics via html code, I thought I would share bc it’s really cool

Lists of tutorials:

How to make images fit in mobile browsers

This is a tutorial/live example on how to make large images fit on mobile browsers but remain normal size on desktop browsers.

How to mimic letters, fliers, and stationery without using images

This is a tutorial/live example on how to mimic the look of letters, fliers, and stationery (as well as other forms of written media) without using images. For all your epistolary fic needs.

How to make a “choose your own adventure” Fic

This is a tutorial/live example on how to create a "Choose Your Own Adventure" fic. While this has been explained before (see here), this particular tutorial shows you how to use a work skin to hide the next parts from the reader until they click through to get to them.

How to make linked footnotes on Ao3

This is a live example of how an author can create linked footnotes in their work with only a little bit of HTML and no workskins required. This is best viewed by clicking "Entire Work". While I've included the actual coding in bold and italic once you click "Hide Creator's Style", there's a more detailed explanation here.

How to change text on Ao3 when the cursor is hovering over it (or clicked on mobile)

This a tutorial/live example on how to have text change or appear once a cursor is hovering over it. Helpful for pop-up spoilers, language translations, quick author's notes, etc.

How to mimic author’s notes and Kudos/Comment buttons

Anonymous on tumblr: do you have a skin that would mimic the author’s notes and review/kudos buttons section from the end of a fic? the desired effect being that the fic could go on after the “end” of the fic, so after the author’s notes and review/kudos buttons

Here's a tutorial/live example to do just that, with some of the buttons actually functioning. I'll explain more inside!

How to wrap text around images

This is a tutorial/live example on how to align images to the left or right of the screen and have text wrap around them.

How to mimic email windows

This is a tutorial/live example on how to mimic email windows on AO3 without the need to use images.

How to make ios text messages on Ao3

This is a tutorial/live example on how to mimic iOS text messages on AO3 without the need to use images. There's also a chapter on how to have emojis displayed on AO3 as well.

How to make Customized page deviders

Bored with the default page dividers? This is a tutorial/live example on how customize your page dividers with no images needed (though I do show you how you could use images if you wanted to do such a thing).

How to make invisible text (That can be highlighted)

This is a live example how to make invisible text that can only be seen by highlighting the text. Tutorial is included in text, and you can always leave comments about questions you may have.

MOBILE USERS: Sadly, this probably won't work for you, since highlighting in a mobile browser is different than web. I've tried correcting this, but have yet to find a solution.

How to make a rounded playlist

Original coding and design is from layouttest. I make no claims for it, just tweaked it so it will work on AO3.

How to create notebook lined paper on Ao3

This is a live example of my AO3 skin that allows the author to recreate the look of lined notebook paper in their work. To learn more about it, you can find the tutorial here.

Sticky notes on Ao3 without using images

This is a live example of my AO3 skin that allows the author to recreate the look of sticky notes (aka Post-Its) in their fic. To learn more about it, you can find the tutorial here.

How to make deadpool’s thinking thinking boxes on Ao3

This is a live example of my AO3 skin that allows the author to recreate the look of Deadpool's thinking boxes in their fic. To learn more about it, you can find the tutorial here.

How to make newspaper articles on Ao3

This is a live example of my AO3 skin that allows the author to recreate the look of a newspaper article in their work. To learn more about it, you can find the tutorial here.

2 weeks ago

It's strange working on the same series for over a year.

It's strange because the protagonist slips into your bones (she already has my soul, that pours into her with my very breath).

Dixie by now is almost flesh for me.

I guess it's fair.

I made her haunted and she haunts me in return.

I guess it's fair.


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1 month ago

Me, in a creative slump (that I can't even call writer's block because I AM writing, I just don't think what I am writing really fits into my series without sounding repetitive/superabundant).

Also me, panicking because the first anniversary of "Robin's Blues" is fast approaching and I would really like to publish something in that date.

Anyways, how would you all feel if, before a confrontation of sorts between Dixie, Bruce and Talia, I talked a bit more about what happened just after Dixie's death? Specifically focusing on Bruce, Talia and Damian?


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8 months ago

Alfred and Ra in my series "Robin's blues" apparently:

Alfred "I really love my granddaughter and, even if I can see Martha and Thomas in her and it hurts me greatly, I couldn't imagine my life without her and I never want to see her suffer" Pennyworth

And Ra:" Finally one member of my progeny that doesn't completely suck, now we just need to put her trough more pain to really make her shine!" Al-Ghul

archiveofourown.org
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

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helecthra - Just some fanfics and their chronically-tired mum
Just some fanfics and their chronically-tired mum

https://archiveofourown.org/users/Helecthra/pseuds/Helecthra

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