I've been thinking a lot about Dick Grayson as I often do. Because like You are ten years old, and you've never really been normal, have you?But normal has never really mattered either. And why should it? You're ten years old, and you can fly, and every night your very existence is met with thundering applause and adoring crowds. You're not normal, but you've never needed to be.
Then it all gets ripped away. The crowds, the lights, and everyone who loved you, all gone the second you hear those bodies hit the ground. You are not normal, and no longer in a way that is okay.
You are eleven years old, and you can fly again. Not on the trapeze, but across Gotham's rooftops. You feel more alive than you have since the circus. Part of you starts to believe that Dick Grayson hit the ground with his parents while Robin flew away. You've done nothing but inhabit a corpse since that night, but behind the mask, you're alive again. Alive. But not normal.
You're in middle school, and the other kids like you alright, but they realize you're not normal. You put on your best act to convince them otherwise. It almost works. You play their games with false smiles. You become known for your charm. But it's hard. You have to make them like you, but not too much. Nice, but impenetrable. You're eleven years old, but you've watched Bruce very carefully, and you know that having people close to you is dangerous. You are not normal and you can never let yourself be.
You're a teenager now, and you spend more time in your mask than out. Dick Grayson has friends, sure, but Robin has teammates. And teammates are far more valuable. You have your Titans, and you finally fit in again. Right? It doesn't matter that they're older than you, but you've trained for longer, or that they have powers and you don't. You're still one of them. And they may not know Dick Grayson, but Robin is more complete, isn't he? Robin didn't die that night at the circus. Robin doesn't have to play normal to fit in. But you're still alone. Or, at the very least, still lonely. Lonely, and not normal. Even among aliens and superheroes.
You're an adult now, and your days with the name Robin seem like a lifetime ago. Dick Grayson still isn't a complete person, but you refuse to be like Bruce and hide forever behind that mask. But sometimes you still feel like you're doing little more than puppeting a shell. Nightwing is more grounded. Nightwing can still fly. You're not normal, and you've come to accept that you will never be, but you wonder if you could have ever been. Was it Bruce that sent you on this path, or did he catch you before you fell somewhere worse? Did Gotham make you like this or is there something in your soul that is just fundementally incorrect? Something that stops you from ever being normal? That makes your smiles false? Morphs your natural charisma into a character you play both behind and in front of the mask?
You will never know. It's one of the things that stops you from ever being normal.
Writing the AU of one of my own AUs, I discovered that, in my mind, Wally West enjoys the musicians of the summer of love.
Idk why, it just kinda fits, expecially because I dare you to look me in the eyes and tell me that Wally West wasn't made to belt out at the top of his lungs " With your love" by the Jefferson Starship (I know, back in the '60s they were the Jefferson Airplane, but alas) half-jokingly serenading the love of his life.
Tumblr prompt:
A daughter of Apollo who finds that anything she even briefly mentions wanting tends to show up on her bed within a week. New watercolors, candies, hairties. She suspects that one of the Hermes' kids is doing it, but no one is willing to give them up. It stops after Manhattan.
That said I strayed from the aforementioned prompt but I liked how it turned out, so, if you are interested on how this fic turned out, here it is!
All the pain in Aelia's life stemmed out of love.
Sadly her parents are innocent, ignorant to her woes.
Sadly Vivienne is long dead.
Sadly the memories of Luke's hands on her make her feel dirty.
Sadly the pain of her scraping never leaves her.
Sadly the person that always left her wonderful drawings and cute trinklets fights on the other side of the war.
Sadly her twin's face in her mind is horribly disfigured, just like it was when she had to wrap him into his golden shroud.
Sadly her little brother's body is never gonna be found.
Sadly, this sorrowful circle it is never gonna end.
Im just feeling a certain way rn
When I get a nice AO3 comment or Tumblr reblog I have to force myself not to say "I LOVE YOU PLEASE MARRY ME CAN WE BE BEST FRIENDS FOREVER I'M OBSESSED WITH YOU" and instead say "thanks"
Alfred and Ra in my series "Robin's blues" apparently:
Alfred "I really love my granddaughter and, even if I can see Martha and Thomas in her and it hurts me greatly, I couldn't imagine my life without her and I never want to see her suffer" Pennyworth
And Ra:" Finally one member of my progeny that doesn't completely suck, now we just need to put her trough more pain to really make her shine!" Al-Ghul
It may take me a while to finish writing and publish the 18th instalment of Robin's Blues (I am after all, once again, in exam season) but I will make it up to you all with some snippets of another work of mine!
Alfred both loved and hated his granddaughter’s blue eyes, Thomas’ eyes.
He loved them because they reminded him of the man who once laughed through halls and who smiled like he held all the secrets of the universe.
He hated them for the same reason.
And now, they’re gone.
It should be a relief.
It is a relief.
But it’s also a wound.
Something sacred has vanished.
And Alfred is nothing but pain and reprieve held in the same trembling breath.
Because Thomas is gone.
Because Thomas will never really leave her (him).
https://archiveofourown.org/series/4163446
Honestly I barely know how to throw in a half-decent impagination, but this is really, really useful.
@Fanfic writers:
My friend send me this link, is a series on a profile on Ao3 (tumblr) that has different tutorials to insert things to fanfics via html code, I thought I would share bc it’s really cool
Lists of tutorials:
How to make images fit in mobile browsers
This is a tutorial/live example on how to make large images fit on mobile browsers but remain normal size on desktop browsers.
How to mimic letters, fliers, and stationery without using images
This is a tutorial/live example on how to mimic the look of letters, fliers, and stationery (as well as other forms of written media) without using images. For all your epistolary fic needs.
How to make a “choose your own adventure” Fic
This is a tutorial/live example on how to create a "Choose Your Own Adventure" fic. While this has been explained before (see here), this particular tutorial shows you how to use a work skin to hide the next parts from the reader until they click through to get to them.
How to make linked footnotes on Ao3
This is a live example of how an author can create linked footnotes in their work with only a little bit of HTML and no workskins required. This is best viewed by clicking "Entire Work". While I've included the actual coding in bold and italic once you click "Hide Creator's Style", there's a more detailed explanation here.
How to change text on Ao3 when the cursor is hovering over it (or clicked on mobile)
This a tutorial/live example on how to have text change or appear once a cursor is hovering over it. Helpful for pop-up spoilers, language translations, quick author's notes, etc.
How to mimic author’s notes and Kudos/Comment buttons
Anonymous on tumblr: do you have a skin that would mimic the author’s notes and review/kudos buttons section from the end of a fic? the desired effect being that the fic could go on after the “end” of the fic, so after the author’s notes and review/kudos buttons
Here's a tutorial/live example to do just that, with some of the buttons actually functioning. I'll explain more inside!
How to wrap text around images
This is a tutorial/live example on how to align images to the left or right of the screen and have text wrap around them.
How to mimic email windows
This is a tutorial/live example on how to mimic email windows on AO3 without the need to use images.
How to make ios text messages on Ao3
This is a tutorial/live example on how to mimic iOS text messages on AO3 without the need to use images. There's also a chapter on how to have emojis displayed on AO3 as well.
How to make Customized page deviders
Bored with the default page dividers? This is a tutorial/live example on how customize your page dividers with no images needed (though I do show you how you could use images if you wanted to do such a thing).
How to make invisible text (That can be highlighted)
This is a live example how to make invisible text that can only be seen by highlighting the text. Tutorial is included in text, and you can always leave comments about questions you may have.
MOBILE USERS: Sadly, this probably won't work for you, since highlighting in a mobile browser is different than web. I've tried correcting this, but have yet to find a solution.
How to make a rounded playlist
Original coding and design is from layouttest. I make no claims for it, just tweaked it so it will work on AO3.
How to create notebook lined paper on Ao3
This is a live example of my AO3 skin that allows the author to recreate the look of lined notebook paper in their work. To learn more about it, you can find the tutorial here.
Sticky notes on Ao3 without using images
This is a live example of my AO3 skin that allows the author to recreate the look of sticky notes (aka Post-Its) in their fic. To learn more about it, you can find the tutorial here.
How to make deadpool’s thinking thinking boxes on Ao3
This is a live example of my AO3 skin that allows the author to recreate the look of Deadpool's thinking boxes in their fic. To learn more about it, you can find the tutorial here.
How to make newspaper articles on Ao3
This is a live example of my AO3 skin that allows the author to recreate the look of a newspaper article in their work. To learn more about it, you can find the tutorial here.
Writing the fanfic of my own fanfic with music on shuffle and accidentally hearing the perfect song for the mess Dixie is in that story is a preciously heartbreaking thing.
Anyways The Crane Wives might have a stronger chokehold on me than what I previously tought.
P.s. the song was "Allies or Enemies"
https://archiveofourown.org/series/4163446
https://archiveofourown.org/series/4830169
me every time I post something
In my works I often delve into themes such as pregnancies, abortions and parenting and Idk who needs to ear this, but I woke up with the visceral NEED to say a couple of things about it all:
I was born in an extremely religious country in which, strangely enough, abortion was legalised fairly early on. This doesn't actually mean it's easy to access to it, because of society's views on it, that trickle down on gynaecologists as well. About 70% of gynaecologists in my country consider themselves conscientious objectors, which means it is basically impossible to access voluntary interruption of pregnancy, except if the woman's life is at risk (or if you pay a shit ton of money in a private clinic, money that, often enough, one doesn't have). This (sadly) doesn't mean we receive any kind of sex Ed in schools (no, not even the crappy kind often showed in films) or any real help/guarantees for new parents, so basically you just have to pray that the condom won't break, because it's near impossible to actually have an abortion and you have almost zero support if you actually decide to keep an unplanned baby. That said my country is now also trying to make those laws even more restrictives (ex banning abortive pills, prediliging the hiring of doctors, nurses and anestheticians who are C.O.etc.), hiding the way our governement tries to rule over women's bodies behind our rapidly decreasing fertility rate.
One summer, while I was still in high school, me and my friends had to drive for over ten hours to reach the only region of my country where the objectors rate it's lower than 15% because one of my friends couldn't wait two months for the only gynaecologist who performed it in our area.
I was the only other girl in my friend group and, at my friend's request, I stayed with her the whole time. It was a traumatic experience, even not being the one having to undergo the procedure. Half of the nurses treated her like dirt and one of the counsellors (that are hired to help women or, more in general, people with a female reproductive system, in this kind of situations) started ranting about hell and damnation, while gripping my friend's wrist so hard it bruised. I literally had to pry the woman away from my friend and to throw her out, and I only managed to do so when I threatened to press charges.
While I always knew on an abstract level that in other countries, countries extremely close to my own, having access to abortion (or even to a morning after pill) was easy, easier than in my home country and decisely less frowned upon, it was all just news for me and I never really paid it much attention.
Then I left my country and studied abroad for a while and, during this time period, I met my partner. A couple of years later I discovered I was pregnant and I panicked. I was scared shitless because while I love kids, I hadn't planned on having one back then (or even now, to be honest). Even then I thought about it. If I decided to keep the baby I would have had actual support from the institutions, both economical and time-wise so my choice was actually mine and mine alone, not influenced by a frightening lack of resources.
I decided not to continue the pregnancy. I went to the clinic with my boyfriend and the procedure was quick, painless and nobody tried to make me rethink anything by guilt-tripping me with tales of eternal damnation.
I never felt any kind of guilt about it while living there. Nobody was forcing down my troath pro-life Ads or picketing the clinic when I went to do a check up specifically meant for people who had had a "traditional" abortion.
Even now, when I think about a traumatizing abortion, I don't think about mine, but my friend's.
Even now, when I see my nephews or my little cousines faces I don't ever regret having walked into that clinic.
Even then, the tinge of guilt in me resurfaces, sometimes, now that I live in my home country. A tinge of guilt I can't really explain, because I was lucky enough to be raised in a pro-choice familial enviroment. A tinge of guilt I shouldn't feel, because it was my choice (as it should always be) and I don't regret it.
What I am trying to say is that, even if you don't know it there IS a right way to do things and we should all fight to make them available to the largest number of people we can.
Religious guilt is never gonna be the answer.
My country tried to make it as such.
Now our fertility rate is at an all-time low from which I don't think we will ever recover and there are whole generations of women literaly terryfied of falling pregnant, because they do they are gonna lose their jobs and everything they worked for in their lives, without the possibility of actually making a choice on their bodies.
Religious guilt is never gonna be the answer, the possibility of chosing in authonomy for your body and for your future is.
https://archiveofourown.org/users/Helecthra/pseuds/Helecthra
42 posts