I Love This Audio

I probably won't finish this piece any time soon, but I wanted to share the unfinished version with you anyways!

Hehe hoho

Lunar halo

@picabuzz

⚠️GO S2 SPOILERS⚠️

Fallen Pt 4

Voice of God: Crowley’s second fall was not brought upon by my influence, though some might not believe it. It was, instead, brought about by high levels of alcoholic influence.

So, I feel like I’m losing my mind. I keep seeing metas about how Aziraphale wants Crowley to return to Heaven and be an angel again because he wants them to be on the same side/be good/change/etc., etc., etc. but I don’t see that at all. I actually see it as the very opposite.

Aziraphale loves Crowley just as he is. But there’s something more. Something huge.

Aziraphale loves Crowley and because he is an angel who is stuck in seeing things as black and white, he constantly praises Crowley for being nice. For being good. For being kind.

Aziraphale has watched Crowley on and off for 6,000 years. He watched him thwart the plans of Heaven and Hell because it was unjust. He spared the lives of innocents. He did small things that made Aziraphale happy just because (like making Hamlet successful and saving valuable books). And because Aziraphale sees things in black and white, he sees all the things Crowley has done as nice, as good, as kind.

Crowley vehemently attests he’s not nice or good or kind.

He’s not exactly wrong nor is he lying when he says this. When Crowley spares goats during a cruel bet over a righteous man and swallowing laudanum to prevent a suicide, when he prevents Armageddon by working with Aziraphale and stopping the Anti-Christ from being the Anti-Christ, he’s not doing the nice/good/kind thing.

He’s doing the right thing.

Crowley chooses to do the right thing without hesitation. He is better than all of Heaven and Hell who have callous and dispassionate view of all existence because he questions, because he makes choices. Crowley sees the world for all its messiness and he sees himself. He sees a place where he fits in. He sees the blurred edges.

And Aziraphale sees that, even if seeing the blurred edges is hard for him.

But here’s the thing that Aziraphale can’t voice.

It’s the reason why he told Crowley about being allowed to return to Heaven and become an angel again. He doesn’t want Crowley to change. He doesn’t think Crowley is flawed. Or not enough.

It’s something that is so monumental that it cannot be put into words. Because to put it into words would be more than blasphemy. It’s down right unthinkable for anyone in Heaven, Hell, or Earth to say what Aziraphale knows deep in his soul.

God was wrong to cast out Crowley.

Aziraphale believes Crowley can/should return to Heaven because he knows that Crowley should never have fallen in the first place. He wants him to be forgiven because when Crowley fell it was unjust. Aziraphale is trying to correct a mistake. He’s trying to do the right thing.

Yes, Crowley would never accept returning to Heaven. And Aziraphale was wrong to even suggest it (although that conversation is another can of worms to unpack).

Aziraphale loves Crowley. He loves him exactly as he is. He doesn’t want him to change. Aziraphale knows that Crowley the best of all of them. He wants to change Heaven because of it. Because God was wrong and Aziraphale knows it.

Aziraphale may have difficulty seeing beyond black and white, but when it comes to Crowley he sees everything crystal clear and in vivid color.

Another miraculous escape

Watching good omens as someone both religious and with religious trauma is Insane because I can see myself in both of them. Right now, I'm a bit more leaning towards Crowley, but there was a time I was as wholly blindly faithful as aziraphale was, and still see myself in him, and you really don't know any better. You end up saying things or hurting people because you were taught that some things are good and some things are bad and that's just the way it is. There is a certain terror that comes with leaving, so instead of leaving you try to follow the best you can, and maybe, if you try hard enough, you can fix it. The system is broken and you can fix it and the system works as it is and you have to leave are conflicting concepts that take so long to dismantle in your brain. I'm more cynical now, and I look at things more objectively, but there was a time I would hate certain groups of people just because my church told me that it was right. And isn't that fucked up? Why does being right hurt so much?

and they say wine is romantic

I mean I haven't seen the lore but the song itself gives a dark vibe