When You Broke Up With Your Situationship Did You

tbh alicent being a shit mother is such an important thing to me. all of her relationship with motherhood.

since i could talk i always said i didn't want children. the adults laughed at me everytime, this stupid little girl, saying i just have to wait. it'll change when i get older. i'll see the appeal, apparently. of course i don't see the appeal still, no matter how old i am. but i noticed how assumed it was of me, expected even, that i didn't know shit and there's some secret parental gene that would manifest.

that's young alicent holding little crying helaena and wondering why she doesn't feel anything. if she's deficient in some way. if maybe she can make herself do it long enough, or hard enough, she'll settle in. and guess what? she fails. she doesn't settle in. she grows to love her children in time, they came out of her, of course she loves them, but she never gets better at handling them. with no help from either her husband or her father, she fails even harder.

my mom, who always dreamed of children, told me how scared and disoriented she was when i was born (her first). all the books she read didn't mean shit in that moment. and she's a happy mother, one of the best parents i know, but she worked SO HARD for it. saying that's just her maternal nature is directly spitting on all the blood and guts she poored into this. it's a hard-won satisfying job when you want it, it's hell on earth when you don't.

i feel like so many people misunderstand redemption arcs. they’re not about forgiving past actions. they’re not about softening previous behavior. redemption arcs are about realizing past behavior was heinous and resolving to be better, do better. that’s why so many redemption arcs fall apart upon close scrutiny.

What if they just danced 👉👈

white queers are always so damned certain that "true" queerness is for them & them alone. expressions of queerness from Black people (most notably, Black women & those percieved as women) that don't center whiteness & aren't tailored for white audiences are always, always pegged as being unbelievable. all this plus a heaping dose of thay classic "all bi women are dirty attention seeking liars" brand of biphobia. fuck off man

I'm in my silly billy era.

[...] the mother, says about her son, "You got his sweet ways" when she sees the same kindness in her son that his father had.

— "Beloved" by Toni Morrison

Chai tea bag + lil but of brown sugar + apple cider packet + 16 oz. mug of hot but not quite boiling water

it will not Fix You but like. maybe. maybe.

:3

we seriously need to stop conceding to the personhood trap when it comes to abortion rights. is a fetus a person? thats a spiritual question. i dont care about the answer. should another person dictate what someone can do with their body? simple answer: no.