On Endlings, And Despair

It Has Begun

So it looks like the literal fascist takeover has begun (this was published July 18, 2020).

Trump's federal jackboots are testing the waters in Portland. Where is next?

The ACLU is fighting them in court, but we all need to expose this and do everything we can to stop them before it's too late.

ACLU story and call to action: X

❤️

Also @dullgecko put me onto the Aasimar Riz AU series by @whatisamildopinion and I am going quietly insane over it so here please have some fanart for it and go read it it's fucking amazing

So to further out myself as a Fandom Old ™

I’m browsing ao3, as one does, and this one image struck me to the core and I just stared at the screen for like a solid 20 seconds

Oh how the world has changed

Fabian's getting a sibling. his friends are all excited for it. Hallariel and Gilear are over the moon. he burnt all his baby clothes and as a result, everyone has been shopping, been preparing for the new baby. Fabian hates it.

once it's born, everyone coos over it, adores it, makes it laugh and looks at it. there's pictures being taken left and right, handmade blankets and shirts with embroidered initials and the softest plushies imaginable gifted from everyone around.

Fabian doesn't want to look at it. he avoids going near its room in the house, starts training and dancing even more and avoids being home as much as he can, so that he doesn't have to watch his mother smile at the little creature, doesn't have to listen to her coo or sing to this child that she loves.

Riz remarks to him that his sibling is cute. Kristen keeps trying to get him to hold it, tells him how you're supposed to keep one arm under and one arm across to ensure it's steady. Fig tells him he must be so excited to be a big brother, and that even though they're step-siblings, it must be thrilling to finally have a biological sibling. Fabian doesn't respond.

he had siblings. numerous ones, all without names and faces, all dead. he never met them. they never got to live much of their lives, murdered by Whitclaw for his father's feuds. no one speaks of them. no one thinks to remember them.

this baby will be the first Lomenelda-Faeth baby, his first biological sibling that doesn't share his Seacaster name, and he feels it viciously. good. it doesn't deserve his name. his legacy.

his friends coo over this baby, this stupid little thing, and his mother has spoken more to this child than she has to him in the past 18 years combined, and it's not jealousy fueling him when he sees his own baby blanket in its clutches. it's grief.

this baby doesn't get to have his stuff. it was a gift from his father, his family, and it doesn't belong to this new creature. it's done nothing to deserve this affection, this adoration. love is earned. love is what happens when you make a mark on the world, when you write your name on every place you've been and are respected and admired.

love is what you get if you become Maximum Legend. it's what you get when you defeat your enemies, or defeat your mother in fencing, or come out in victory after a harsh battle. love isn't freely handed out just because you exist. it's hard earned once you're enough, and Fabian is so, so close to earning it. he's done it all. he's saved the world. he's worked so hard, and done his best, and gotten his mother to stop drinking and be ready to be a mother. so why is she devoting her time and affection to this stupid little thing that hasn't done anything yet?

it's not fair. and he thinks about it when he slams the door behind him in the morning, the unfamiliar lilting notes of his mother's lullaby burning in his ears, until the roar of the Hangman finally drowns it out.

it must be so exciting to have a sibling, Fabian! it echoes in his ears. he thinks of Captain James on Leviathan, his grotesque tentacles crawling over his head, his foul breath just inches from his face. "Oh, I have so many of your siblings’ brains in me stomach already." how many of his siblings met their ends like that? how many of his siblings died without ever getting to tell him their name, without making their own mark on the world or knowing that there were more of them?

the wind howls around him and the Hangman furiously blasts down the roads, Elmville rushing past. he has enough siblings. none of them survived long enough for him to ever learn their name. this child, this baby, this stupid little sibling has done nothing to earn all the affection it's been getting, this love that's now handed out freely where he's never ever received a scrap without fighting for it tooth and nail. it's got enough.

he takes his crystal out, debates for a moment, and deletes all new notifications. he puts it on Do Not Disturb. he owes this new child nothing. he never got to learn the names of any of his other siblings. this baby, he decides, has done nothing to earn that privilege. there's nothing special about it. he's had enough of siblings, and he doesn't need another. he's a Seacaster, the last of his name. this child is not. it's a Lomenelda-Faeth, two people whose name he does not share and two people who haven't looked at him in weeks. he doesn't need them. they don't get to need him.

the Hangman's engine roars, and he thinks about his mother's singing. how he hasn't heard her ever sing before. he tries to recall it, and the song slips into a Halfling accent before he can stop himself. the motor revs, and he drives on.

i basically assume that people don’t like me unless they explicitly tell me they like me and then periodically remind me

too many of us were raised to put up with anything, to just be polite and take it,, in a society where someone will do something like cook the eggs before the bacon and serve you cold eggs. you don’t have to accept that. you can do better. we all can.

FUCK YOU DISNEY

Anyways, y’all better start saving your fave fanfics and fanart under the Disney labels cause it looks like they’re trying to curb fair use/fanworks and I’m sure there’s going to be mass panicked deletions even though it’s probably unnecessary cause AO3′s legal team will fight for us.