I Need Billy Thinking He’s So Great At Hiding Things (and He Is) No One Knows He’s Like Fucking Eight

Part 3 (?) Of Captain Marvel Adopts Superboy

On the au side if Billy doesn't tell Connor yet

Connor who continues to misunderstand that Captain Marvel was a single father who lost his child and spreading that rumor to the Young Justice

This naturally gets out to the adults and the rest of the main roster of the Justice League

Billy having lost Freddy to foster homes coming up to a Superman who is trying to discretely question him about losing a child

Mutual misunderstanding as Billy is talking about not having Freddy around anymore but admits that he seems to be in a 'better place'

Superman who is getting very concerned the good Captain seems to be talking about his child in the present tense

All this talk about foster homes and adoption making Billy a bit irritable and Billy immediately asking Superman if he's going to be a part of Connor's life anytime soon

Superman understanding he's overstepped and calling the Captain a good dad

Just...mutual misunderstandings all around hahaha

I think it’s kind of funny how coin (who obviously wanted peeta rescued from the arena instead of katniss) doesn’t see what an absolute nightmare he would be for her to deal with if she left katniss in that arena

Like she thinks katniss was hard to deal with/manipulate/control after she left peeta behind? Peeta would’ve had her whole district eating out to the palm of his hand before she even realized who she was dealing with. She thought katniss was too single minded/stubborn about her focus on saving peeta over the revolution itself? He would have been her absolute nightmare (and I adore him for it)

Billy being the guardian of the Rock of Eternity which holds many of the most evil creatures in the world like the seven deadly sins is hilarious to me. Probably not canon but in this au every few years he meets up with the other beings who watch over a bunch of dangerous sinners. They use the meetings to share any strategies or mishaps so they can help each other be more efficient but since they’ve all been around for thousands of years minimum, they’ve pretty much optimized their systems so they spend most of the time gossiping and hanging out lol.

I’ve been cackling about this for like five minutes now

A scenario where Shepard jokes with Vega, saying she's practically Garrus' wife now after she promotes him to her XO during the war, resulting in them unintentionally spending a lot more time together.

The joke goes over Vega's head, and he goes to congratulate Garrus personally. Garrus is confused, and Vega promises to keep the "secret marriage" a secret. Garrus now has to figure out how in the hell he accidentally proposed to and married a human and how is he supposed to tell his dad he missed the unplanned wedding and the ceremonial meeting of his fiancé. He was almost 30, but this was going to get him grounded for at least another 30 years or maybe even life.

Was he supposed to get his new wife a gift? Where they supposed to get matching tattoos like Turians? He could've sworn he read somewhere that humans consummated their vows the same way Turians do. Where did he go wrong dammit!?

He adores the idea of Shepard being his wife and loves knowing that she was so excited that she even told Vega about it. He just now has to figure out how he married her in the first place without her knowing he doesn't know. Because then she'll think he never wanted to marry her, and that is NOT the case. Maybe Tali will know? No way. She'd just call him a bosh'tet. Wrex will also call him a professional idiot. Liara won't judge, but he's sure she still hasn't gotten over her crush on the Commander, and he doesn't want to rub his new marriage in her face. Maybe Joker will tell him if he promises him the new fornax issue.

Garrus has had his fair share of giving his dad a pseudo aneurysm, but this one was going to send him into cardiac arrest for sure when he finds out his son married a woman the family didn't even meet. He needs a drink...after he finishes bribing Edi to scrub away everything she just heard him say out loud.

Garrus doesn't know that Vega is the galaxy's worst secret keeper, telling Shepard he's keeping the secret marriage a secret unwilling to let Shepard convince him that she's actually not married yet. She goes to see Garrus to have a good laugh about Vega's idiocy but walks into Garrus telling Edi he will use Shepard's override if she doesn't get rid of something.

Garrus is absolutely mortified and gives the cheesiest greeting to his "wife." She assumes Vega already brought the joke to Garrus but she's not overlooking him trying to be suspicious with Edi. He recovers, mentioning it was for his sesrch history for a gift he wanted to get her. He did intend to get her a gift so the phrase wasn't a complete lie...

She jokes about it and calls him her husband. Garrus, the realist he is, does not take this as a joke. She leaves him to his vices, and Garrus is now in a full-blown panic. He needs to understand what he did, and he needs to know now.

(If my brain gets any more random ideas, I'll at least finish and provide a resolution to this concept, lol. Feel free to offer your own ending)

THIS SPECIFIC SHOT OF JINX HOLDING ISHA TIGHTLY IN HER ARMS, AND SEVIKA INSTINCTIVELY USING HER ENTIRE BODY TO SHIELD THEM FROM THE EXPLOSION HAS A COMPLETE AND UTTER CHOKEHOLD ON MY HEART 🥺💔

I SWEAR IF ANYONE HURTS THEM I’M GONNA 🔪🔪🔪

Shang Qinghua comes in late to a Peak Lord meeting and immediately gets harangued and insulted by Cucumber Bro, but like, good naturedly, and he responses in kind

But once the meeting gets started he notices that several peak lords look disheveled and kind of beat up and everyone is either giving him dirty looks or looking at him like he's a puzzle to solve

What he doesn't know:

Before he got there the other Peak Lords started talking shit about Shang Qinghua and Shen Qingqiu lost his shit at them. Blood was spilt but more than that egos were punctured

And then the moment Shang Qinghua turns up Shen Qingqiu is ruder to his face then they were behind his back

They are all so confused

I’m gonna be thinking about them for the rest of my life.

Clark gets hit with a love spell and is cursed to be loved by everyone (more than usual). Except you can't effect what's already there. ...Oh, and love spells don't affect kids.

or, Billy Batson's Unwilling Observation of his Adult™️ Coworkers Love Lives

Bruce and Diana do not change at all, and they notice this of each other. You know who else isn't affected though? That's right. Billy Captain Marvel Batson himself.

See, Bruce and Diana are pretty smart, so they realize that the only reason they both aren't reacting is because they are both in love with Clark, obviously.... which means their coworker Captain Marvel must be in love with him too.

Bruce: I've gathered you all here today because I've noticed that all three of us are acting normal around Superman. Diana: It appears so. Billy: ?!?!?! Are we supposed to be acting weird? Diana: we will fight to the death for superman's affection Bruce: agreed Billy: WHAT IS GOING ON?! Diana: ???? He was hit with a love spell. Specifically, a spell that makes everyone else love him. Billy: HE WAS?!?!?!?! Diana: Bruce: [Bruce & Diana, exchanging looks] Bruce: You wouldn't happen to be... immune to some spells, would you? Billy, taking the out: YES. YES I AM. Diana: Oh Bruce: Oh Billy, vibrating with secondhand embarrassment: I'm. I'm just gonna leave. Diana: ...ok Bruce: (internally screaming)

61 zoeeyy