Black Skimmer (Rynchops Niger)

In 2004, I was a young comedian in New York City, and I secured an audition at one of the city’s top clubs. Their host would watch a few of us audition before the pros came on, and she’d recommend anyone she liked to become a regular at the club. I was super excited, and spent weeks crafting the set I wanted her to see.

My first joke did okay, but my second was stronger and by the end I was crushing. I finished with a big applause break, and said good night - but the host was nowhere to be found. I called out for her twice and joked that I must have done so well that they gave me more time before she finally came back up. I realized she probably wasn’t watching my set, or she’d have known when I was finished.

Her phony feedback after the show made it worse. “You started strong,” she said. “But you faded at the end.” Why couldn’t she have just told me she got distracted and offered me another audition in the future? Why couldn’t she be an adult about it? I wanted to be sure that she was lying - so despite having done no subway material, I asked her what she thought about my subway material. She told me it was generic. Not only was she lying to me - but now in her lie, I was a bad comic. I was furious - but I politely thanked her for her time, knowing that there was nothing I could do.

Thankfully, other clubs were more responsible with their new talent, and I got the regular stage time I needed to grow. A few years later, I was on the Late Late Show, and things continued to progress.

In 2012, I opened my own comedy club in New York City. During construction, a woman came in to ask if we were hiring a new talent director. I recognized her immediately - but she clearly had no recollection of every meeting me before.

I asked her for her resume, with absolutely no intention of ever reading it - like she’d metaphorically done to me 8 years earlier. And then I politely thanked her for her time, knowing that there was nothing she could do.

TLDR; When you keep your head down and do good work, the universe will get petty revenge for you.

It’s peak Dry Season in South Florida, but Wet Season is right around the corner. The afternoon thunderstorms, or Florida mountains, are forming and will soon be widespread. 

Myakka River State Park, FL

Years ago, I worked at a large chain grocery store in the Southeast US, you can probably guess which one. I had a manager that just did not like me. For example my car broke down on my way to work on my birthday, and when I finally made it there she chewed me out in front of the store for coworkers and customers alike to spectate. 

She often pushed me to quit school and work full time because she was so certain I would fail, and she needed the shifts covered. Well Saturday before Easter(a busy day for them) I was back in my old city, now gainfully employed and quite happy. I stopped in that store to pick up a few things. It was so busy that she was relegated to bagging groceries. Perfect. I made my way to her line with a huge grin on my face. She recognized me. Perfect.

This particular chain makes baggers ask guests if they would like help taking their groceries to the car. She must have forgotten, so I specifically asked her for help. She would have been reprimanded for refusing, and thus obliged. She’s an old woman, the uniforms are conservative, the parking lot is huge, we are in South Florida and the employees can’t accept tips. I relished in walking her to my new car, a car that would have been far out of my reach on a grocery clerk’s salary. As she finished loading my groceries, she said “Come back and see us again!” and I said “Yeah, I guess you’ll still be here.”

Left a smile on my face for the rest of the day.

What is so special about Saturn’s moon Titan?

Titan is Saturn’s largest moon and the only natural satellite in our solar system known to have a dense atmosphere. But there is something much more amazing about the Saturnian orbiter.

Titan has a vast system of oceans, lakes, and huge mountain ranges. How, though, could a body whose average temperature is -290°F (-179°C) contain liquid water on its surface? It doesn’t.

The oceans and lakes on Titan are made of liquid methane (CH₄) and ethane (C₂H₆). The mountains are made of water ice. That’s right. The “waters” of titan are made of not water, but hydrocarbons, and its mountain ranges are made of not minerals like calcium, iron, and cobalt, but ice.

Could, then, there be not water-based, but hydrocarbon-based life on Titan? Astrobiologists (scientists who study possible extraterrestrial life forms) are hoping to send rovers there one day to sample the oceans and answer that question.

If it turned out that there is life somewhere else in the solar system, it would be so much more than just a cool scientific discovery. For two hundred thousand years, we humans have thought that we were alone in the universe. We thought that only our blue and green home harbored life. If life turned up elsewhere, we would know that we were wrong all along.

(pictured: Titan; source: NASA, Cassini spacecraft, 2006)

A spectacular video showing climbers going through Mt. Rainier. (Video)

I’d love to be here. 

Anon to avoid links. Freshman year college, roommate and I HATED each other, long story, not relevant. But the week before Thanksgiving I started getting sick, ignored it, got a lot sicker very quickly. She’s packing to go home for the holiday and bitching to someone one the phone that I’m faking it, not really sick etc. Meanwhile my fever is skyrocketing and I’m starting to hallucinate. I remember telling her that I needed help, needed water, practically begging. She laughs and says ‘if you die can I have your stuff’, and left. I managed to get to my cellphone and realized that the battery is gone (never did find it, she swears she never touched it, so…) Pretty much spaced out after that.

A guy I’d been dating for all of three weeks came by the room to see why I was ditching classes and avoiding him, heard what turned out to be me knocking a lamp over, and broke down the door. One trip to the ER and a week in his apartment (side note, he had the BEST roommates in the world, two guys and a girl welcomed me without hesitation and really took care of me) and I come back to the room. She’s packed up all of my stuff and shoved it into a corner.

My revenge? she had a huge crush on a guy… guess who? yep one of my new boyfriend’s roommates. I told him, also told him she was working up the nerve to approach him. End of semester we’re at a party and she walked up to him and started talking. He’s acting all in to her (Award winning performance) then stopped and really loud “wait aren’t you Mouse’s roommate” and started telling random people there “dude she totally left Mouse to die in that room”. She’s trying to blow it off, saying we’re such good friends. He just gave her one of those 'scrape it off your shoe’ looks and says “Bullshit. She’s MY friend and I wouldn’t date you if your nipples dripped brew.” He’s a bit loud and by the next semester I think he told everyone on campus the story.

Three years later and I can still remember the look on her face when he said that. Especially once the other drunk partiers started in on her. More So when she realized I was there and listening to it all. I’m now engaged to that 'new boyfriend’ (he kicked down a door for me, how could I not) and his friend is going to be his best man. Roommate? Transferred after freshman year ended. B-bye now.

“Dwell on the beauty of life. Watch the stars, and see yourself running with them.” ― Marcus Aurelius Aurora over Kirkjufell, Iceland captured by the always awe-inspiring Sean Parker.

Just so you know, you can always watch the Earth live from the ISS. Its really relaxing to me (the music they play is soothing too)

An EPIC View of Earth

“Look again at that dot. That’s here. That’s home. That’s us.” 

Carl Sagan wrote those words in his book Pale Blue Dot: A Vision For The Human Future In Space. His now-famous ode to our home planet (listen to the full passage here, in animated form) is perhaps our most poignant and humble reminder of the exquisite beauty and shared fragility of this planet we call home. 

NASA is now bringing us a daily reminder of that message, thanks to the EPIC camera (a very appropriately named camera, in my opinion) on board NOAA’s DSCOVR satellite. You can see some of its handiwork in the image sequence above.

DSCOVR’s official space job is to observe weather on and around the sun, to extend its mechanical finger into the solar wind and measure how strongly that stream of charged particles is gusting toward Earth. It does this job from a special spot in space called the L1 Lagrange point. If you were to draw a line between us and the sun, DSCOVR would be sitting along it, like so (not to scale):

That’s a convenient place to put a spacecraft, especially one whose job it is to stare at the sun. See, DSCOVR is nestled inside a pocket where it’s tugged equally by the Earth’s and Sun’s gravity, like a stalemate in an orbital game of tug-o-war. Gravity does all the work, and the spacecraft doesn’t need to maneuver much to stay in position. There’s a few of these gravity-neutral Lagrange points out there, as you can tell in the image above, and we’ve got spacecraft residing at all of them. 

As a side effect of its sun-staring mission, DSCOVR’s backside happens to be looking back at Earth full-time. In a way, I think that makes it a different sort of moon. 

NASA doesn’t like to let any opportunity go un-scienced, of course, so they decided to slap a camera on DSCOVR’s rear, the one named EPIC, and use their stable perch to keep a regular eye on us. Good lookin’ out, NASA.

A little change in perspective can do a planet good. In 1990, from a vantage point beyond Pluto, Voyager 1 turned its cameras back toward home to take one last look, giving us the image that inspired Carl Sagan’s ode to ol’ Dotty Blue:

This was not an easy shot to take. Voyager’s camera wasn’t the fancy digital type like most of us have in our phones. It was essentially an old-fashioned black and white tube TV in reverse, relying on colored filters held in front of the camera to highlight different wavelengths of light. Voyager stored its image data on magnetic tape, and each of the shots took more than five hours to reach Earth. Sagan and NASA’s planetary science team had to practically move the heavens (since they were unable to move the Earth) in order to take that picture. 

Now consider the effect this picture has had. That’s home. That’s us. Even if you weren’t born in 1990, everyone and everything that made you is in and on that hazy blue speck. I hope you never lose sight of how amazing it is to view our planet from this perspective. 

Luckily, you can get a reminder every day. The DSCOVR satellite is now sending roughly a picture an hour back to Earth, 24/7/365. That’s a near real-time view of our home. Go take a look. It’s pretty epic.

To see a daily look at what a day on Earth looks like, check out EPIC’s daily updates here.

Milky Way from Lake Cuyamaca js