Since it’s almost that time of the year again
God me and some friends are talking abt being dense af rn and i just remembered this one time i was shopping w my dad and i wanted to get rainbow shoelaces at the dr martins shop. And there was this punk girl, dyed hair face piercings rlly cute, behind the counter and like prince charming putting the shoe on cinderellas foot she offered to lace my gay shoelaces into my dr martins and i let her. “Wow what good customer service!”. And then in the car my DAD had to tell me that she was flirting with me a major L to gay people over the world
Didn't expect to get hit with the 1000 yard stare
What did he want me to say?????
mutual 1: I want to turn that man's prostate into silly putty
mutual 2: here's smth i doodled during science class lol
mutual 3: pls remember that you personally can drink milk and still be a lactose intolerance ally!! anyone who tells you otherwise doesn't know their history :]
mutual 4: fucking a robot girl in the ass call that backend programming
mutual 5: holy shit I need him so fucking bad holy shit holyyy shit oh my god
mutual 6: anyone get kind of horny putting the ignition key in the car....it's so intimate....turning him on....
mutual 7: so lets talk about where scrimblo's arc is realistically going- I know a lot of people are trying to argue that he's being manipulated but this ignores the fact that there is clearly unresolved conflict between him and bleebus about their moralities
mutual 8: happy propeller penis thursday
mutual 9: "scrimblo and bleebus need to discuss their morality" god forbid a pathetic boywife does some torture 🙄🙄
mutual 10: WHO IS HYPED FOR THE NEW ALBUM LETS FUCKING GO
mutual 11: guys we're not getting a new album
mutual 12: please stop sending me death threats
mutual 13: why is my whole dash talking about this band I don't even listen to.....
mutual 14: hey boy nice knife wound can i put my tongue in it
mutual 15: i'm going to fall into lake michigan
Every time a small child starts crying or having a tantrum in my vicinity and I catch the parents glancing at me I’ve started saying “me when…”.
Friend kept trying to tell his crying kindergartener to calm down and relax and the kid growled “I AM relaxed” while visibly tensing every muscle in his body and I was like “oh that’s me at work every day” and we had a chuckle.
Parents look to other adults like “shit are they mad? Do they think my kid is acting like a demon?” And this response is my attempt to say “no. I think your kid is just acting like a human being.”
I WISH I could fling myself on the ground and cry because I experienced a minor inconvenience.
I think we should hear her out
i think we should hear them out
In light of recent events, let’s not forget that H. Bomberguy is responsible for driving a formerly-beloved transphobic TV writer into a downward spiral that cost him his career and his family… all by playing Donkey Kong.
Multitasking but im not actually doing anything productive