So I Have This Fun Thing Where I Can't See Out Of My Left Eye So In Gym Class I Got Hit In The Face With

Thank fucking god! After three continuous days of doing nothing else, I have finally triumphed! I can have my life back! 

Hey :) I'm also looking to find a Sherlock calendar, why is it so hard to find?! They are either out of stock, or really expensive, or don't ship to where I am, it's so annoying! Please tell me if you find one for around $12/ 10 euros :) I'll let you know too if I find one :) Have you checked danilo com? I was about trying to buy off it, but it didn't work for me, and now a few days later, the price has risen! :( But maybe the price is fine for you, especially if you don't need shipping costs :)

I have no idea why they are so hard to find! Thank you so much for your website suggestion, it did work for me. I decided it was worth the higher price. :)

I'll let you know if it comes up anywhere else! 

Thanks again! Have a great day :)

One of my favorite bit characters in Les mis is the poor random porter of Gillenormand who has to deal with Jean Valjean and Javert showing up at night with a mostly-dead Marius. He’s just so confused! He hasn’t read the first 1000 pages of Les Miserables so he has no context for Jean Valjean and Javert. He spends the entire conversation being utterly baffled.

POV: you’re just trying to sleep when you hear loud knocking at the door. Outside are two weird old men. One is a bizarre cop who seems to be operating on autopilot— he keeps mechanically saying incorrect nonsense like “here is Gilleormand’s dead’s son” even though Gillenormand has no son and the man they’re carrying isn’t dead. The other old man is some horrible-looking buff weirdo covered in sewage. They clearly have a History but you don’t know what it is.

They try to drag you into their relationship drama. One says Marius is dead, the other says nothing but exhaustedly shakes his head in disagreement in a way that makes him seem very Done with all of this. You are even more confused. You do not want to be part of this drama.

Javert addressed the porter in a tone befitting the government, and the presence of the porter of a factious person.

“Some person whose name is Gillenormand?”

“Here. What do you want with him?”

“His son is brought back.”

“His son?” said the porter stupidly.

“He is dead.”

Jean Valjean, who, soiled and tattered, stood behind Javert, and whom the porter was surveying with some horror, made a sign to him with his head that this was not so.

The porter did not appear to understand either Javert’s words or Jean Valjean’s sign.

Then you try to ask for clarification. The cop just repeats that the not-dead Marius is actually dead, vaguely says he got himself killed at the barricades—and then he very helpfully states that when people die there are funerals, as if he’s just stating a random fact he knows about death. This clarifies nothing. You finally just walk away and make it someone else’s problem. Good for you.

Javert continued:

“He went to the barricade, and here he is.”

“To the barricade?” ejaculated the porter.

“He has got himself killed. Go waken his father.”

The porter did not stir.

“Go along with you!” repeated Javert.

And he added:

“There will be a funeral here to-morrow.”

For Javert, the usual incidents of the public highway were categorically classed, which is the beginning of foresight and surveillance, and each contingency had its own compartment; all possible facts were arranged in drawers, as it were, whence they emerged on occasion, in variable quantities; in the street, uproar, revolt, carnival, and funeral.

The porter contented himself with waking Basque. Basque woke Nicolette; Nicolette roused great-aunt Gillenormand.

And then the two of them leave, and youre left with all the confusion of someone who’s been plunged into the middle of Jean Valjean and Javert’s weirdness without any of the context of Victor Hugo’s hit 1862 novel Les miserables:

The porter watched them take their departure as he had watched their arrival, in terrified somnolence.

please reblog! (and tips are greatly appreciated)

examples: fanart - personal art/other commissions

- please pay as soon as i accept your commission as i’ve had a couple of people pay me two or three weeks late and i can’t afford it!

- if you want to commission me, please email me at chazgilbert1995@gmail.com

- if you like what i make for you you can also ask me to put it in my society6 shop so you can buy it on a variety of products

- I will send the initial sketch/lineart before colouring so you can tell me everything you need me to tweak!

- if you want me to post your commission on tumblr as well as emailing it to you (all emails are highest resolution) please leave your url so i can tag you

I know I don’t have very many followers but for those of you who do, a notice that I changed my URL to “Ionlyrunfromshame” 

Brother: Oh my gosh, look at this!

Me: Yes. Time Magazine. With President Obama.

Brother: NO! What is he doing?

Me: Smiling?

Brother: At what?

Me: The ground?

Brother: So...?

Me: He don't know he's beautiful.

Mom: What the heck is wrong with my children?

What the ever-loving fuck? 

I just finished watching After the Dark and I am...I am astounded. I think I loved it? But I'm so in shock at present that I can't decide. I certainly loved the plot and the characters were phenomenal...it was incredibly visually effective and beautiful...

But the ending! I have no idea how to handle it!

Please, if anyone has seen it, please please please talk to me about it. Please, I'm begging you. Someone needs to share in this delightful, brain-fucked agony. 

You know how water has a majestic quality to it? How, in the middle of the day, when the light hits it, it almost shines? The sun reflecting off of the facets of inconsistency on the surface, creating a glittering spectrum. It’s awesome. It’s beautiful. It brings a smile to your face and warmth to your chest. It is not what I am seeing now.

It is midday, nearly one in the afternoon. The sun is directly overhead, hitting the water just right. But I have never seen a less majestic sight. It is dull. It is sad. It is cold.

In the middle of January it should be frozen. But global warming has given us an astonishingly warm winter and all around me people walk by with only light jackets and scarves. The Chicago River remains fluid. I am conscious that I am giving the river more thought than I ever have in my life, despite visiting the city countless times in my childhood. I am avidly working to avoid thinking about today. Focusing on anything and everything else. But there’s only so long that can last. Only so much about the bland, gray water that I can expound on before there is nothing else. And I am left alone with reality.

I couldn’t sleep last night, tossing and turning for hours before I finally gave in and got up at four in the morning. I was alone in the living room, on the sofa. Eve was asleep upstairs, probably would sleep late; she’s had a tough week. I let her sleep as long as possible before kneeling beside her bed, what used to be our bed, and hesitantly speaking her awake.

Eve loves the city. Our first real date was to a concert at Soldier Field. We were married at the Chicago Botanic Gardens nearly two years ago. She loves the fast pace and the excitement, but she said she didn’t want to live here. “You’d be miserable!” she told me. “You’re an old-fashioned guy; the city would sweep you right up.”

So we lived in the suburbs, in Woodstock where it’s quieter and more stretched out. There aren’t very many places you can walk to and you don’t really know your neighbors that well, but it’s nice. You’re not boxed in, you’re free. And it’s a good place to raise kids.

That’s what we were going to do, Eve and I. We were going to raise kids in the suburbs of Chicago. That was the dream. I had a stable job at a business firm; Eve was working as a stagehand at the Woodstock Opera House. It didn’t pay that much, but she enjoyed it.  She would come home excited, the light in her eyes burning, dancing, every time a new show came. She’d sneak me in the back and find me a seat off to the side during rehearsals so I could appreciate the art. That’s what she always said, anyway.

“The real show is nice and all but it’s the rehearsals that you’ve got to see. Not too early where they’re fuddling around and not too late where they’ve got it all ironed out. But in the middle where they’re just trying and designing, seeing the way certain things sound and how powerful they are. That’s the real art. That’s the show I want to see.”

There was a one stand-up comedian that Eve particularly loved. There aren’t really rehearsals for comedians so she let me sit in on the real show one of the nights. We were still laughing about some of the lines when Eve let out a cry and doubled over. We didn’t know what it was and she was pregnant at the time so I rushed her to the emergency room. Forty-eight hours later and we were back home but without the baby. Something had gone wrong, she’d had a miscarriage.

“It’s fairly normal, it happens a lot more than you’d think,” the doctor told me. Like that would make me feel better. Like that would make it easier. Like that would help ease the devastation in Eve’s eyes.

She was off for a long time after that. Less enthusiastic about things. Like she’d been muted. I figured she just needed time, that she’d be back to normal soon. And maybe, if that had been all we had lost, she would have. It’s impossible to tell.

A couple weeks after that, the company I had been working for went through cutbacks. They had to lay off a grand total of eight-two workers throughout all their locations. Through no fault of my own, as I was assured by my ex-employer, I was one of them. Eve was more upset about it than I was. I had been the main supporter of the two of us, bringing home the money as she pursued her art interest. We had planned for her to give that up and be a stay-at-home mother once our child was born. Maybe that’s why she took it so hard. Just one more piece of our life, our plan, our future, fading away.

As Eve got more and more detached and it became obvious that finding another job would not be an easy task in this economy, I got increasingly more stressed. I wanted things to be normal, to be easy. I hadn’t signed up for this. This moody version of the woman I had fallen in love with. She was downtrodden, she was crushed, she was drowning and there was nothing I could do. And every work opportunity I pursued was another door shut in my face and it became evident that we’d have to move if I couldn’t find work soon, our house was too expensive.

So I made a bad decision. One that I’ve regretted constantly since then. I had been visiting my father; he and his brother were second generation immigrants from Italy. My father’s brother, my uncle Tito was there and he told me he had some work for me.

“It’s not necessarily…legal work. That’s why I was hesitant to bring it to you earlier. But it’ll fix all your money problems, I guarantee it.” Turns out he’d gotten himself in some sort of money counterfeiting gig where all you had to do was make the stuff and then exchange it to a middleman for cash so you never had to use the fake bills yourself. I refused at first. But things weren’t getting any easier and eventually I called him up and told him I was in.

Tito helped me find the equipment and he taught me how to make passable currency and how to get in touch with his buyer. And so the far room, the room that was going to be the nursery, became a workshop for counterfeiting. I developed quite a knack for the trade and my uncle was correct in that it did solve our financial problems. But not Eve. No, it didn’t fix her. She still looked to be drowning but like she was resigned to it. Like she knew she couldn’t fight the current and so had given up.

She knew about my new “job,” obviously, I was working in our house, not to mention the sudden increase in our funds. But aside from the initial “are you sure this is a good idea?” we never talked about it. And that was worse. That was much worse. It was like she wasn’t surprised that I had stooped to this level.

Weeks went by. Months. She and I barely spoke anymore. And I hated it. I hated what I had become. What our marriage had become. What had become of her, of Eve, of my angel. I had taken to sleeping on the couch downstairs and I would only see her at meals or pass her occasionally in the halls. It’s like we were strangers.

Eventually I couldn’t take it anymore. I snapped. I had been working and just finished my next batch of bills, they were hanging up to dry. I ventured into the kitchen for a drink and she was there. Sitting at the dining table, silently staring at her folded hands in front of her. She looked up as I came in and her eyes were glassy with absence and in that moment I remembered the countless times she had laughed there, we had talked here. Times when the kitchen was filled by teasing and happiness and love.

It was too much. I have never yelled so much in all my life. I yelled and she stared and I screamed and she flinched and I begged, cried, pleaded, and she whispered.

“What’s become of us?” It was so quiet I could barely hear it over the beating of my frantic heart. “I’ve called my sister,” she murmured. “I’m going to live with her in the city for a while.”

You could’ve knocked me over with a feather. I knew she was unhappy, obviously, I knew she needed something different but I didn’t know she would leave me. The idea had honestly never passed through my mind. That’s what marriage is, isn’t it? Agreeing never to leave? Never to give up?

Of course she was right. I needed to get my life on track, she needed the companionship of her sister to piece herself back together, and we could both use some time apart. There’s nothing worse than being faced with something horrific that you know will tear at everything in you until there’s hardly anything left but knowing that you have to go through with it. Because it’s the right thing. It’s the good thing. It’s what you need to do.

She was to leave two weeks from then, who knew when she’d be back. I took my counterfeiting equipment to my uncle, told him I was out.

“You can’t just…be out. They’ll come after you,” he said. Let them come. It’s been a fortnight, I haven’t heard from them. Besides, what could they possibly take from me now? I’ve gone back to scanning the paper for work. My first two interviews were disasters but the third one seemed promising. They said they’d give me a call in the next couple weeks.

So this morning, I let Eve sleep as late as possible and then we boarded the train. The 10:48 to Chicago.  I had offered to drive her but she had hurried to assure me she would be fine on the train. She probably was afraid of being trapped in the car with me when I was so desperate and broken. And she didn’t have that much stuff anyway; she was only bringing a small duffle bag. I did insist on riding with her, to keep her company, to keep her safe. She allowed that, though the ride was silent.

I sat us on the second story on the far side so I could keep my eye on the rest of the car. Just in case Tito was right about my old employers. But there was no problem. Eve watched the news on her phone and I listened to music, unraveling slowly. The panic was welling up inside me. I couldn’t imagine a life without Eve. I still can’t. At times, the only thing preventing me from begging her to reconsider was the group of girls giggling a few seats down from us.

Eve’s sister Heather’s house is only an eight minute walk from the train station. I knew this. Eve knew this. But she didn’t say anything as I led us the long way, strolling around the city for nearly half-an-hour before ending up in front of the house. There was so much to say but I was being strangled by my emotions and I couldn’t find the words. So we walked in silence. When I glanced at her, she was looking around. Probably enjoying the city like she always has. I was just trying to enjoy these last few minutes with her. Trying to savor them. To remember them.

This won’t be the last time you see her; it’s only for a little while. I thought to myself for the hundredth time. But nothing would quell the turmoil, the twisting feeling that I would lose her. That we would reach Heather’s house and I would leave her there and never see her again. So we kept walking.

Eventually we arrived. We stood at the door without knocking and I turned to her. Eve, my wife, my love, my savior. For a moment, standing in that doorway, I saw a piece of the old her. She was looking at me hungrily, memorizing me with her eyes as I was frantically trying to memorize her with mine.

“You… you know where to find me,” I murmured, my voice raspy from disuse. She nodded. “Eve, I…” I intended to tell her I loved her, one last time before she left but before I could finish, Heather wrenched the door open. How she knew we were standing out there is beyond me. She gave me a reproachful glare as she took Eve’s bag from my hand, simultaneously ushering her little sister into the house.

As Eve crossed the threshold she looked back at me one last time.

“Garrett,” she murmured, her eyebrows knitted together but whether from concern, sadness, or pity I couldn’t tell. Then she was gone and her sister was giving me one last scornful glance before closing the door. I stood there on the doorstep, staring at this last of many barriers between Eve and I. This one I hadn’t put up and I had no idea how to take it down.

Eventually I walked away, walked to the bridge, staring over the edge at the Chicago River rushing past. Dull and sad and cold. Like me.

so i’ve been thinking a lot about the moment when karen comes to visit matt after he’s beaten by nobu

he answers the door without wearing his glasses, which i believe is the first time since he’s spoken to karen about being blind in the first episode (when he takes them off and then immediately puts them back on) that he’s not worn them when she’s there; he even puts his glasses back on when he’s sitting with foggy going over files and karen comes in 

so matt answers the door looking like this

[image: screencap of matt, battered and bruised, no glasses.]

karen and him exchange what passes for a greeting between them at this point, and then matt immediately goes to the counter and puts his glasses on while karen takes off her coat

[images: two screencaps of karen taking off her coat in the hallway while matt puts on his glasses at the counter]

then he grabs a beer and turns back around, glasses firmly in place

[image: matt, beer in hand, standing behind the counter with his glasses on.]

so i’ve been thinking about why he would put his glasses on so quickly if he’s willing to answer the door without them on. because it makes sense that he answers the door without them because he’s hurt and tired and sick of everything, whatever reason he’s had to keep them on seems unimportant in light of everything that’s happened, etc. and i’d say it would make sense that he went to the door without his glasses, realized it was karen, and then put his glasses back on (because karen is different, because it’s Karen, because he knows how karen reacted to seeing his eyes before) but matt has supersenses, matt knows it’s karen long before karen reaches the door. so what makes him put his glasses on? 

i think what’s different is this 

[image: karen stands in the doorway, matt turned away from her. CC says: “you look like shit.”]

matt hears karen say that, hears karen say “you look like shit,” and matt murdock puts on his glasses, which do next to nothing to hide his abundant injuries or uncomfortable gait or obvious pain, especially given that karen has already seen them. matt murdock, who is so rarely seen without his glasses in the comics and the show, who wears glasses even in situations that seem incredibly deeply impractical, even in his own home, even with people who know him well (and here’s a post about this, and tw for some well-meaning ableism + in-comics ableism) - when karen says “you look like shit,” he puts on his glasses. because matt associates looking like shit with people being able to see his eyes- with being visibly disabled. because matt has to live with not only all of the guilt that comes with his daredevilling and with his super senses and with only being able to do so much, but also with internalized ableism.

hahahhahahha kill me I literally can’t write this paper