IS A HORSEMAN OF THE APOCALYPSE

I've hidden something scary, and FUCKED UP in this post

SO YOU’RE NOT EXTRATERRESTRIAL?

you’re American???

I thought you were Aussie lol

I have never once been to Australia in my life.

people always try to play the "but you're a lesbian" card whenever i say odd shit about men and i think that's because people are too cowardly to accept the truth: these are pure, objective observations. i don't have a leg in this race. when i say Gene Wilder has a kind of evil warlock's raw sexual charisma in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory you can't write me off as being too horny. because i'm literally not. i'm making a statement of fact here. and you'll just have to cope with it.

characters going “we were lovers once”: eh, it’s okay i guess. it’s nice enough

characters going “we were friends once”: absolutely devastating. one hit knockout i’m gone

CHAPPELL ROAN paying homage to DIVINE | Kentuckiana Pride (2024)

me: yo this could be us

my girlfriend: bet (sends picture of katana)

me: where- how-

the 6th love language is fighting monsters together

cruelty is so easy. youre not special for choosing it

Can't have shit in the Malevolent fandom wdym we're the whimpering in holes podcast ?????

people will be like “don’t worry it’s all in your head!” like babe… yes… that’s the problem… how do i get it out of there…

Vice doesn't have many expressions other than "tragic victorian anxiety" but one of them is definitely "caught two seconds away from slurping your soul like a gogurt"