Finally Scientific Strides Are Being Made To Fulfill My Lifelong Dream (being Consumed By Fungus)

walk into the local in a skirt and a guy calls me a “fucking faggot”, and i explain to him that im actually a femboy not a trans woman and he says “oh sorry lad, so you still relate to masculinity in some sort of way” and im like yeah and hes like “sorry mate” and im like ur fine honestly happens all the time and hes like “buy you a drink?” and one turns into two turns into three and he’s hilting in me in the mens and im panting and my mascara’s running and my tits are bouncing and my skirt’s up over my little estrogenated ass and he says “good girl” and i moan and he says “i fucking knew it” and clatters my head off the wall and i go down and he doesnt even have the good grace to finish on my unconscious body hes so mad. anyway can you pick me up i have a concussion

this reads like a lemony snicket book

Here’s the thing about men with earrings: not all men wearing earrings are men with earrings, and some men not wearing earrings are men with earrings. If you pick a dude off the street and give him earrings it will likely not make him a man with earrings, just a man wearing earrings. In order to be a man with earrings, the earrings must be an extension of the man.

Everyone looks at other girls all the time. You only assume that they’re thinking what you’re thinking when they look. But they’re not. But I’m a Cheerleader (1999) dir. Jamie Babbit

this illustration is definitely my favorite 🖤

are you secretly a monster?

idk I just personally think that getting chills from music is the best part of being alive. like when a song is so good you can feel it in your whole body. that's why I'm here.

I beg my kidnappers for a phone, swearing not to make any calls or texts, and they stare over my shoulder, holding a gun to my head as I use my newly-freed hand to post, "So do like, dudes just buy ropes and baklavas from the same store or what lmfao like a specialty Crime Store"

One of the kidnappers says "balaclavas" but it's muffled under the fabric. I ask them to repeat and they do, their voice raspy from disuse. "You wrote baklava, that's a pastry." The other kidnapper goes "stfu" and then after a pause goes "Why would you buy from a crime store"

i may or may not be hyperfixated on the sonic movies…

save me green lesbians save me

me: yo this could be us

my girlfriend: bet (sends picture of katana)

me: where- how-

the 6th love language is fighting monsters together